


When We Were Young

by JudgeCoffee



Series: The Lucky Ones [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Dubious Consent, Frottage, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Masturbation, Medical Kink, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Overwatch, Rimming, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:59:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 107,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudgeCoffee/pseuds/JudgeCoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jack Morrison was 18, he joined the military. Fifteen weeks later, he joined the Soldier Enhancement Program, and that was when he met Gabriel Reyes. That was when everything changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Two Days

The first time someone had tied Jack up was just before he left for Basic Training, when he had been feeling experimental. A girl he'd been seeing had brought a pretty silk scarf, and cooed a simple phrase in his ear, "Just trust me." She'd tied him to a post, laughing and afraid that they might get caught up in the barn loft.

He'd lain there, sweating and desperate, her hands on his thighs, touching him everywhere but where he wanted to be touched. He was completely helpless in her grasp, so swollen that his cock turned an angry shade of red, _desperate_ for release. She'd pinched his taint, bitten his nipples, and left a series of hickies around his erection, but didn't touch him until he'd begged.

" _Please_ touch me, oh God I can't, please, _please_!" He hadn't recognized the sound of his own voice.

She'd giggled, running her finger over his slit, dipping her nail into him to elicit a sob, "Jack Morrison, I think you're a little kinky."

When she'd finally let him come, and he'd stayed there with her curled up against his chest, his fingers numb from the silk scarf around his wrist, and every nerve on fire, he didn't think anything could ever feel that good again.

In hindsight, it was nice to be wrong.

~~

Only five rookies had made it into the program, and the second Jack set foot on the tarmac he could feel butterflies in his stomach. Sure, it didn't look like much, most of it was underground, but on the helipad outside with the other graduates from Basic Training, the sun rising, maintenance crews running around, and the faint cool breeze of fall, he couldn't imagine telling his younger self just how far he'd made it. Jack Morrison, Super Soldier. He'd thought it had a nice ring to it way back when he'd first been recommended, but it had felt like a far away goal. Something that was maybe achievable, but not likely to actually happen.

Then again, Jack was an overachiever, and always had been. High school quarterback, Captain of the track team, and (funny enough, what he'd always been most proud of) he didn't need to play golf with a handicap anymore. Though his small rural town had only had the one golf course, so that sort of felt like cheating, but it was one of the sports he hadn't naturally been very good at. It felt good to overcome a perceived fault.

All that was to say, when he'd been given a clear goal and a path to reach it, he had given his all and he had made it. Not number one in his class, like he had been for so much of his life, but he didn't really believe the "second is a fancy word for losing" rhetoric that some coaches had tried to instill in him. He needed to be top five, and he'd tried his best and come in second. He'd gotten what he wanted, and he had someone he could still learn a lot from, not that he'd ever tell Maggie because he had no doubt seeming like he was sucking up to her was a good way to get his ass kicked.

She grinned now though, elbowing him hard in the ribs and catching him off guard, "We did it, Morrison. We fucking _did it_."

He smiled back, meaning to say something but almost as soon as he went to open his mouth, the doors to the bunker had opened.

The bunker itself wasn't much to look at, just a pair of steel doors. Really, aside from the tarmac, the helipad they stood on and a few tents, the whole area looked like a hill on the edge of a cliff. Everything else was top secret and far underground. Jack hadn't even been allowed to tell his parents where he was going, only send one last email that said he'd be off the grid for a while. No phones, no internet, no contact, and no personal effects. The only thing Jack had been allowed to bring were the clothes he was wearing, and it had been implied that in short order, they would probably burn them.

A man walked out of the bunker, tall with a face that looked like it had been carved out of marble, all hard lines and deathly pale. He wore a Colonel's uniform, and was flanked by a small black woman and a skinny white man who both wore lab coats.

They rookies all saluted quickly, holding their position as the Colonel observed them, face as unreadable as the Mona-fucking-Lisa, and when he spoke it was eerily quiet, difficult to hear over the buzz of the tarmac around them, even though the helicopter had silenced its engine, "Recruits, I am Colonel Erikson, and welcome to the Soldier Enhancement Program. This is Dr. Okoye and Dr. Weber, you'll be going with them for your initial testing series. When you're done, you're going to be paired with a senior member of the team. They'll show you the ropes. You'll room with them, you'll get your schedule from them, and you'll obey them until you receive your training regimen. Clear?"

"Yes sir!" They chorused.

Room with them, the Colonel had said. Jack was used to the barracks now, sleeping with thirty people on cots, the floor, or the cold hard ground if they were especially unlucky. The idea of sharing a room with one person was weirdly  intimate, especially someone he didn't know.

"Good. From the second you stepped on that helicopter," the Colonel nodded at it, "everything you've seen, everything you will see, everything you hear, and everything that happens to you is classified. You don't tell your family, your lover, or your fucking friends anything about it. They ask where you've been, you either lie or you tell them it's classified. This never happened and you were never here. We clear?"

"Yes sir!"

The Colonel smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Welcome to S.E.P., ladies and gentlemen."

~~

The base was cold and smelt sterile, with florescent lights that constantly gave off a small buzzing sound, and white or off-grey walls with arrows painted on every corner. Jack was endlessly grateful for those, because it was impossible to get his bearings underground. He was less grateful that almost immediately the doctors had him and others strip and shower. The water was so cold that his balls shriveled up, goose bumps covering his entire body, but at least looking around everyone else seemed to be freezing their asses off, hugging themselves more for warmth than modesty. Then they were escorted into another room, strapped to a table, and the needles started.

Jack would have never said he had a problem with needles, but after twelve had been jabbed into him he felt concerned he might develop one. Worse, they all seemed to bruise, welling up and leaving purple and yellow marks on his shoulders and wrists.

"Christ," he mumbled to himself after needle number thirteen, "what are all these _for_?"

"Full body flush and our initial foundation for your enhancement. Nothing to be concerned about."

Jack was plenty concerned with the way his body tingled when they was done. They did finally let him put on clothes - just a hospital gown - and practically shoved him into the hall. First one done, he was met by five soldiers who lingered outside, dressed in black uniforms that gave no indication of their rank, but even a little dazed, cold and bruised with his ass hanging out of a hospital gown, Jack knew hardened killers when he saw them. The five men and women were all taller than he was, with muscles that looked like they could pop his head clean off his neck with a flex.

 _Jesus_. Was the one thought that came to mind.

A woman looked him up and down, whistling and cracking a grin, "Nice. Hope all the new recruits are this pretty. What's your name, blondie?"

"Uh, Morrison. John Morrison. Jack." He was trying not to stare. Was this what would happen to him?

"My rookie, then." The voice caught Jack a little off guard, coming from near the back. The man had darker skin with a built jaw and thighs like nothing Jack had ever seen. 'Handsome' didn't really do him justice, and he had an edge to his smile that sent a little thrill down Jack's spine. "Welcome to the club, kid. Gabriel Reyes."

"So uh, you're my partner?" Jack offered his hand, which Gabriel clasped, his grip as strong as Jack had assumed it would be. Also callused, a little more than Jack's were, and in different places. Probably from combat, rather than farming.

"For a few months anyway." Gabriel said, shrugging. "Pair up, swap out, learn team building exorcizes, rah, rah, rah," he smirked, giving Jack a thorough once-over, "not sure why they're desperate enough to be recruiting babies now, but I'm sure we can make use of you, _puto_."

Jack didn't know what that meant, but he was guessing it wasn't flattering from the way the other soldiers snickered.

"They uh, only picked the top five candidates." Jack said, trying not to take it personally. It wasn't all that different than their drill sergeant had been in basic. He'd thought he'd heard every single name in the book, but now apparently he was going to learn them all in Spanish.

God he hoped that was Spanish. It could have been Portuguese? He had no ear for accents. Or languages, for that matter.

"Oh, good to know. We're getting the best of the best, team, never fear the-super babies are here." Gabriel said, making the other soldiers crack up again, and Jack feel a hell of a lot smaller than he was already well aware he was. Either way, Gabriel patted his shoulder and headed down the hall ahead of him, "Come on Morrison, let's get you settled in, alright?"

"Right, yeah, sure," Jack said, feeling surrounded with the remaining four soldiers on either side of him, especially when the woman slapped his ass as he walked past, "Ow."

"Aw, baby boy they haven't even stuck a needle in your butt yet," She laughed as Gabriel and Jack rounded the corner, calling after them, "After _that_ you can complain about it!"

~~

Gabriel hadn't talked on their way back to the room until Jack had asked the question, "They don't actually stick needles in your ass do they?"

Gabriel had laughed, slapping his own ass, "They sure as hell do."

God, that made it sort of hard not to stare for the rest of their walk. Gabriel Reyes was built as hell, but the whole area where his thighs met his... Nope. No. That way led to dangerous thoughts about someone who was going to be his partner. _Keep that shit on lockdown._

Their room wasn't big, but it was better than anything Jack had at basic. A couch, a HoloTv, a mini-fridge, even what appeared to be a fake window with a little mural inside it. It also had three doors, all of which Gabriel gestured to when they walked inside.

"Right door is your room, left door is mine, middle door beside our window to paradise, bathroom. We get warm water, so don't worry you won't get blasted with the shit down in the med bay every day." Gabriel said, "You have clothes in your room, it's all regulation shit. We can use the HoloTV, but it's all recorded, we can't get anything streamed down here."

"Jesus what are they, afraid we'll smuggle cameras up our asses and broadcast this place to the Russians?" Jack asked, glancing around their Spartan room. Still, at least it was _their_ room.

"Something like that." Gabriel shrugged, "Doors don't have locks on them, and they do random inspections sometimes. So if you're shitting or jacking off just leave a sock on the door, because the first _pinche idiota_ partner I had wouldn't fucking do it, and I swear I ain't going through that again."

"Right. Got it." Jack said, shifting from foot to foot, "So uh... what do you guys do for fun around here after they've stuck you full of needles?"

Gabriel looked at him, raising an eyebrow, "You're kind of a weird little shit, you know that Morrison?" But he was smiling, and this looked a little more like a genuine smile, not the overconfident smirk he'd worn in the hallway with the other soldiers.

Jack smiled back, wishing his arms didn't hurt so damn badly, "I've been called worse." He had no idea what 'puta' meant and no way to look it up, but he was pretty sure that was probably meaner than 'weird little shit'.

Either way, he made the dangerous looking soldier laugh, so all things in perspective, he could have had a worse first day.

~~

First day, sure, cold shower, naked in front of strangers and jabbed with needles, that hadn't been fun, but the night was _so_ much worse. It had started when he couldn't sleep. First he was too warm, even with only the thin sheet and temperature control. He'd gotten up, turned down the heat, slept with no sheet, then been too cold. Back under the sheet. Too hot. Up again, turning up the heat and laying down with no sheet. Still too hot. Stripped off his boxers, lay there naked, still too hot. Turned down the temperature again, and he was freezing until he went back under the sheet and was too hot again, which meant he gave up.

He sat on his bed, leg bouncing, his whole body slick with sweat. The bruises on his arms were starting to swell up, red and... God, were they infected? It had only been a few hours.

Then, with almost no warning, his stomach heaved. He covered his mouth and bolted to the bathroom, nearly tripping over his own feet before he finally made it, falling to his knees and vomiting. He almost missed the toilet, and he could already feel the bruising from where he'd hit the tile floor.

Gasping for breath, he fell back against the wall, chest heaving. Now literally every part of him hurt, and he was freezing _again_ to top it off. He sighed, afraid to stand up because he'd barely made it there the first time, and now he was certain he'd never get to sleep. Shuddering he leaned back over the toilet bowl and spat in it.

 _Dear mom and dad_ , he thought to himself, breathing finally slowing down again as he coughed and cleared his throat, _first day has been great. Met some new friends, have a hot roommate, got a new doctor, took some fun new drugs..._

Were the drugs fucking up his internal temperature? Could have been. He had no way of knowing. It wasn't like they'd given him a list of potential side effects. Was everyone else from basic still awake, puking their guts out?

"Want a glass of water-?"

"JESUS CHRIST!" He hadn't heard the other man come in, and he jerked back so quickly that his head hit the wall. He moaned, grabbing it. Great, brand new bruise, "Reyes?"

The light flicked on and Jack groaned, closing his eyes, shivering again. He was a goddamn nervous wreck.

"Yeah, Reyes. Hey, I'm not your fucking nurse maid _cabron_ , open your eyes." Jack moaned when Gabriel slapped him, but he did as he was told, blinking at the other man. Gabriel, for his part, looked pretty fucking great for someone who had been woken up in the middle of the night. His short dark hair was a little tousled, his eyes a little cloudy  from his doubtlessly rude awakening, still blinking against the sudden light. Somehow he also still looked dangerous in his black tank top and similarly uniform boxers. Jack had been given an identical pair in his room, but he doubted his thighs were ever going to look at fucking good as the man in front of him. God with Gabriel kneeling like that beside him his whole aesthetic was just... really working.

 _Keep that shit on lockdown, Morrison_.

"Could have warned me." Jack mumbled, laying his head back down on the toilet bowl.

"I thought it might be kind of funny. More sad and pathetic as it turns out." Gabriel shrugged, "My old partner slept through my first night. Lucky for him, piece of shit. I'm a light sleeper."

"Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Reyes, sir." Jack mumbled, giving a lazy salute as his stomach started to churn again, "Might want to go away while you still can. You're going to catch me at an unflattering angle."

Gabriel chuckled, glancing down, then looked back, meeting Jack's eyes, "Already am."

Jack groaned. He'd forgotten he was naked. "I'm cold! Oh my God, go away."

"You know they have enhancements for that too, white boy."

"I hate you so much."

~~

Jack woke up on the bathroom floor, making an excellent start to day two. That said, there was also a bottle of water and an aspirin beside him, possibly from Gabriel, which did improve his mood a bit.

He groaned, pushing himself up and examining the damage. Knees: bruised. Back of his head: sore. Arms: kind of a weird shade of purple-green around the small holes, which had scabbed and didn't look infected like he'd been worried about. Inside of his mouth: tasted like death. Could be worse.

He sighed, rinsing out his mouth before he went for the aspirin and made his way to the shower. Gabriel hadn't lied, they did have hot water. It was also eerily spotless for an underground base full of gritty hardened soldiers. He was still used to the bathrooms at Basic, where frankly, even after they had been cleaned tended to smell like shit. The bathroom, more or less like everything else, smelt like antiseptic.

 _Afraid of leaving any of our genetic material laying around._ He smiled at his own joke, wishing Gabriel were there so he could at least gage a reaction on how true that might be.

He sighed, leaning into the shower and letting the warm water spray over him, not wanting to move. He felt the right temperature now, but he was a little worried that he had made a complete ass of himself in front of his partner. Super-baby, indeed.

" _Pero que nalgas más sabrosas_ _._ "

Jack jumped again, nearly slipping when he realized that he'd left the door open and Gabriel had snuck up on him _again_. He turned around, sticking his head out from behind the glass pane of the shower and scowling. Gabriel leaned up against the doorframe, smirking again, and blew him a kiss.

"Can you cut it out with the Batman shit, my heart literally cannot take it," Jack said, wishing he had more than a glass pane and steam to hide how naked he was. Not that it mattered, Gabriel had already gotten an eye full of him the night before.

"Sorry _puto_ , but you were hogging the bathroom all night." Gabriel shrugged, walking in and pulling down his boxers, no longer paying attention to Jack, "A man's gotta piss sometime."

Jack tried _really_ hard not to stare when Gabriel whipped his cock out, turning away before he'd gotten a good look, but damn. Now that Jack wasn't freezing, he'd guess he might be longer than Gabriel but the man was _thick_. A lot like his thighs were.

 _Keep that shit on lock down_. Jack sighed, abruptly switching the shower to as cold as it would go.

It wasn't like he'd never seen a naked man before. He'd seen attractive men _and_ women naked before. Hell, he'd seen them as recently as the day before when they'd all been disinfected in the cold shower. All four of his fellow rookies were at least moderately good looking and in the best shape of their lives. Unless they all wound up looking like Gabriel and the other soldiers who had been in the hall, in which case... damn they were _about_ to be.

 _You just haven't had sex since before you left for basic_. Jack reminded himself, rinsing his mouth out again, wishing he could focus on something other than the fact that he wasn't alone. _And be honest with yourself, Morrison, you have a type_.

He was relieved when the door finally closed.

~~

Jack had eaten with the other new recruits, who all looked about as crappy as he did. At least he'd slept - Maggie admitted she hadn't been out for more than an hour, and one of the others, Tom, showed his arm, which actually looked a little more black than red or bruised.

His partner had immediately taken him to medical once they were done eating.

Other than the idle chatter, Jack had mainly watched the other people in the mess hall. Aside from them, all the other soldiers were jacked (Oh, he'd have to remember that for a later pun), and they grouped together either in pairs, groups of five like the newbies, or much larger groups. Maybe fifty people, all told? Jack hadn't really expected there would be hundreds of them, it was a highly classified military operation, but he had sort of hoped for more.

Gabriel was with the other four soldiers Jack had seen in the hall the day before. He didn't seem to be saying much, idly chewing on his cereal, adding the occasional remark that made the rest of them snicker, but they seemed to be in relatively high spirits anyway. Probably all laughing about how ridiculous their baby-sitting job was.

After breakfast, training started, which managed to undo all the relaxation that a hot shower and food had brought him. Running outside uphill wasn't new to him, he'd won gold for his school in the state track and field competition, it was just doing it when his body was still protesting whatever it had been injected with that had done him in.

Run. Drop and give 'em twenty. Run some more. Climb this wall. Crawl under this barbed wire. Happy first day, rookies, make sure your body knows what it's in for, rah, rah, rah. By the time lunch came around and they were back with their partners, Jack had already thrown up _again_ in the heat, his body threatening to go on strike.

"What's wrong, Prom King, too much for you?" Gabriel had smirked, even though he had been sweating too. The more senior soldiers had clearly been on the other side of the hill, doing whatever it was that they did. Probably the same thing, but more.

Still, Jack had blushed and drank his water, barely able to lift his arms, "No. I'm fine."

"Don't tell me you were actually Prom King, _cabron_."

"Hey, don't hate me because I'm popular." Jack had tried to smile, but instead just splashed water down the front of his shirt because his hands were shaking so hard.

Gabriel shook his head, "Rookie, what teenage romcom did you wander out of?" He sighed, waving for Jack to follow him, "Come on, time target practice time."

"I have to hold a _gun_ like this?"

"Yeah, try not to shoot off your own foot." Gabriel replied, waving for him to follow along with the other recruits and their partners, "If you do, I'll try not to laugh."

"Great. Yeah." Jack mumbled. Any sort of witty comeback he could have made was lost in how tired he was.

The funny thing was, regardless of the training and his big dreams, Jack absolutely needed the target practice because on the list of things he was not naturally good at "shooting" was near the top. His dad had tried to teach him to hunt when he was a kid, and after killing precisely one rabbit and crying so hard that his father had called him "an embarrassment", Jack had devoted himself to other things. Football, track, whatever seemed 'manly' enough to make people leave him alone for not wanting to hunt.

By the time he'd told his parents he was joining the military, it was like his father had forgotten it completely, even though Jack never had.

Bright side, he and the new recruits all seemed to suffer after the bad night and the morning of drills. None of them could make their shots, some missing their targets completely, while as usual Jack and Maggie made out better than most. The general rude jeering of their partners didn't help anyone's aim.

"Ah, to be young." Maggie's partner, the soldier who had slapped Jack's ass the night before, who they called 'Goldman' said, "Hey, Reyes you want to see how many headshots we can get? Numbers might be up again. Come on team, let's show them how we play."

Using the same rifles that the new recruits had, Gabriel, Goldman and the others raised their weapons, and each fired ten times, while up above them the observing scientists jotted down notes. Jack watched and of all four soldiers - Tom was still missing with his partner at the medbay - and their ten shots, there were a total of five that weren't head shots. Gabriel and Goldman didn't have a single shot that was more than an inch away from the center of their target's head.

"Good job." Came the quiet voice of the Colonel over the intercom, making everyone stop dead and salute towards the observatory above them, "Go a few more rounds, then take the rest of the day for the new recruits to recover. We'll start again tomorrow."

~~

"Tom still isn't back from the medbay yet." Jack mumbled at dinner, picking at his food. He was starving, but just moving his jaw to chew hurt. "Think he's okay?"

"Maybe he's better than us." Maggie said, wiping her mouth from when she'd tried, and failed, to have her soup, "Did you see them though? Goldman and Reyes especially. That shit was insane. Think we'll be that good? I was talking to some of the other soldiers last night, our partners? They've only been here two months, I don't care if they've been in the field or not. That is going to be _us_."

"Yeah..." Jack said, feeling distracted, "Should we ask?"

"What, ask them how long it took to become fucking killing machines?"

"No, asshole, about Tom." Jack snapped, rubbing his face, "I mean his partner has been gone all day too. They might know where they are." He glanced at Gabriel and the others.

They didn't seem to be laughing like they had been that morning, a sullen silence seeming to have fallen over them. Gabriel was slouched back, his feet up on the chair beside him, head resting on his hands. He wasn't eating either. With everyone else so quiet over there, Jack had a creeping feeling that something had gone wrong.

"Jack, let it go, he's fine. The drugs just probably made him sick, you know, side effects and whatever else. Eat your dinner, I don't know how you're not starving."

Jack ate, but he didn't stick around to socialize. Almost no one did, at least no one from his group, but the other soldiers didn't seem keen on sticking around either. He was sort of aware there was a rec room where some people would play cards, and a gym but the idea of working out was lost on him right then.

Gabriel had left before him, taking his food, and when Jack got back to the room he was sprawled out on the couch, food sitting untouched on their crappy steel coffee table, watching what looked like a documentary on music, maybe? It sounded like it was in Spanish and there were no subtitles that he could see.

Still, Jack sat down beside him, even though Gabriel didn't move his legs out of the way.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, rookie?" Gabriel asked, watching as the camera panned over a mariachi band, "Or are you just trying to be extra tough since you can't shoot worth a damn?"

"I just wanted to know if, uh," Jack scratched the back of his head, "one of the other newbies, he went down to med bay this morning. One of his arms was messed it, it almost looked black. One of your friends went with him."

"Not my friends, _cabron_ ," Gabriel said, reaching forward and grabbing the bun from his plate and biting into it, "they're my team. And yeah, that happens. He's not coming back."

Jack's eyes widened and his mouth hung open a little as he tried to wrap his mind around that. He'd only been there one _day_ and one of them had already washed out? "So, what, all the training he did and it's just... over?"

"It happens." Gabriel shrugged, "If he's lucky he won't lose the arm. They say the risk goes down a lot after the third injection set they give you, but my team started with ten people and now we've got five." He pointed at Jack with his bread, shaking it as an indicator, "They don't tell you all the side effects, but I'm guessing someone on high, like the Colonel, decided we shouldn't risk losing experienced soldiers, so now they're bringing in rookies to mitigate their losses. Congratulations kid, you're expendable."

"I was... they took the top ranking... they..."

"They still don't want morons. You've seen what happens when it works." Gabriel flexed as a demonstration, and Jack sort of wished he hadn't, "What were you expecting, something out of a World War Two propaganda poster? We're all in this together? Maybe do a sing along?" He sighed, pausing his video, "I'm going to have to go back now, I missed half this fucking vid. You staying or sleeping?"

"Sleeping, I think I'll... maybe another time. It looks good." Jack gestured at the HoloTV, forcing himself up and nearly stumbling when he did, his legs like jelly. He was going to be a wreck for days at this rate, like Basic only worse - unless they woke him up at three am and started all over again. He paused before he left, bracing himself against his bedroom door and looking back at Gabriel, who remained sprawled out on the couch, "Will I see Tom again, or is he gone?"

"They would have ditched him before we had lunch." Gabriel said, idly spinning the remote between his fingers, "The less he knows the better."

"Right. Yeah, thanks." Jack said, going back into his room, quietly closing it behind him. Then he sank to the floor and let out a long breath he hadn't known he was holding. Tom was gone. He'd been ranked third of their group, and it was all over. No military career. No chance to be a brand fucking new shiny super soldier.

Would Tom lose his arm?

"Too tired for this." Jack said, glad that Gabriel couldn't see him crawl to his bed and haul himself in, kicking off his shoes, but leaving everything else on. He was asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

~~

In his dream he was strapped naked to the operating table again, Dr. Okoye and Dr. Weber standing on either side of the Colonel, looking down at him and taking notes. The weird thing was, he was up in the barn loft, but this time it was Gabriel between his legs, still fully dressed. Taking part in Jack's favorite memory.

Jack gasped when Gabriel ran his thumb across his nipple, smirking as it made him squirm, "What were you expecting, rookie?" He pinched, hard, and Jack cried out, trying to wiggle away from his bonds but he couldn't move.

Gabriel just laughed at him, raking his nails down Jack's chest while Dr. Weber jotted something down and said something that sounded like, "Responds well to external stimulus."

"Please... Reyes..." Jack begged, arching into his partner's touch when the other man's hand wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking him, "Please don't, not in here..." He moaned when Gabriel worked his way up to the tip, smearing precum over the head of his growing erection.

"Decent," said Dr. Okoye, "but I think we can do better, don't you?" She handed a needle to Gabriel.

Jack looked into Gabriel's eyes, trying to plead with him, his chest heaving, whole body trembling as Gabriel held the needle directly over his length, thick fingers curled around him as he peeled back Jack's foreskin, chuckling, "I told you, Morrison. They have enhancements for everything."

Jack screamed when the needle pierced his skin, his eyes going wide when he woke up, sitting bolt upright in bed. He panted, whole body aching as he glanced at his alarm clock. 3:37am. He didn't have to be up for another two hours. He groaned, looking down at himself, and the stain on the front of his pants from where he'd come.

"God damnit." Jack mumbled under his breath, finally getting out of his clothes before he lay back down, curling up. _So much for keeping that shit on lockdown, Jack_. He closed his eyes, desperately hoping he would be able to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this is the first fanfic I've written in like five years (or more) so I hope you'll enjoy! It'll be a slow burn, not sure how long it will be, but there'll be goodies in every chapter for anyone who wants to stick around!
> 
> Questions, comments, corrections, better Spanish than mine? Find me at my Overwatch tumblr: http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> This was Beta'd by the lovely Aisu who you can find here: http://senshi76.tumblr.com/
> 
> Translations:  
> \- Puto: male prostitute/man whore  
> \- Cabron: Dumbass/Idiot/Motherfucker  
> \- Pero que nalgas más sabrosas: I love your ass


	2. Day Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter notes at the beginning for this one because there's some racist undertones from a character in this chapter that could make people uncomfortable so just wanted to warn you up front.
> 
> Thanks again to Aisu for being my fantastic beta!
> 
> Also thank you everyone who read and liked the first chapter! I'm overwhelmed with love <3333
> 
> Spanish terms:
> 
> Cabron: As it turns out, this word means roughly a million things in Spanish, none of which are flattering.  
> Cojeme: Fuck me  
> El burro sabe mas que tu: A donkey knows more than you
> 
> Questions? Comments? Just want to chat? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/

Sometimes when Jack dreamed now, he saw Tom with his arm rotten, black, and decaying, standing in the distance, always walking away from him. He'd call, but he was either ignored, or maybe Tom just couldn't hear him. Either way, the end was always the same – Tom was gone, and Jack was alone.

He sort of preferred that dream to the other consistent one, though. That one was always Gabriel in the med bay, or sometimes in the loft back home. Sometimes the Colonel and the two doctors would be there too, but either way Jack was strapped down and Gabriel had his hands on him.

That was a different kind of guilt, because Gabriel was his partner, not masturbation material. Also, outside Jack's idle fantasies, real-life Gabriel was kind of a dick.

"No, you're not listening to what I'm telling you, honestly, _el burro sabe mas que tu_!" Gabriel was currently getting into it with their assigned team leader.

"Don't fucking sass me in Spanish, Reyes, I swear to God I'll mark you for insubordination!"

Jack sighed, glancing at the clock. Well, at least they'd only gone half an hour into their allotted time to make a plan. The current training exercise was simple: their team of six against another team of six, the goal being to rescue a "hostage". In theory, they had to scale a wall and get past two manned turrets to reach their objective. Thus far, they were making _excellent_ use of their hour of prep time.

Jack was vaguely aware that their team leader, Nathan, was Gabriel's former roommate. Even if Gabriel hadn't growled it under his breath when he'd told Jack what they were doing for the day, Jack was pretty sure he would have been able to guess. In the five days they had known each other the only thing that seemed to genuinely piss Gabriel off was his former partner. If their attitude towards each other was any indication of how well the S.E.P. team building exercises worked, Jack had some genuine concerns for his future.

"Then listen to what I fucking tell you, Nathan, Christ!" Gabriel hissed back, standing now, pointing at their map, "You try and go down that corridor and Goldman is going to blow your fucking brains out. She will _always_ post someone at a narrow entrance where she can make a bottleneck. We go in that way and we're all dead!"

"Okay then, how the fuck do you want to get around the turrets, Reyes?" Nathan demanded, sneering at him, "Should we charge in through the front screaming and hope maybe we don't _all_ get caught in the crossfire and die?"

"How long do you think this will go on for?" Maggie sighed, glancing at Jack with her head in her hands before checking the clock. "We're running out of time."

"I don't know," Jack said, still trying to listen to what Gabriel and Nathan were shouting now.

"No, we cause a distraction for the turrets, send in two soldiers for a stealth attack, blow the turrets. One sticky grenade attached to their leg? They'll topple like a Jenga tower." Gabriel said, crossing his arms and squaring off with the other man. "It just can't be an obvious distraction, or she'll know it's a trap."

"Oh, so an obvious distraction that isn't an obvious distraction. Great. Thanks for your useful insight, you fucking useless wetb-!"

"What if-" Jack cut in quickly, not liking where Nathan's phrasing was heading, and from the deepening snarl on Gabriel's face and the way he tightened his fist, the high potential for violence, "-we use the corridor? As a distraction. Make them think we're heading in that way."

Bright side, Gabriel was lowering his fist, and now Nathan's attention was on Jack instead of continuing to goad Gabriel.

"Wouldn't distract all of them. But we can try and lure Goldman into a trap if she thinks she knows our play," Gabriel said, interrupting Nathan before he could say a word. He seemed to genuinely consider what Jack said, rubbing at the scruff on his chin where he hadn't shaved that day, looking back at the map. "We have one at the corridor, that will lower their guard, especially if they think that's our whole plan. We have one draw fire, yeah, at the front door. She knows this is a fake out, but we'll just Kansas City Shuffle her. Make her think we're going right, we go left. We have two blow the turrets, and then our last two go for stealth. When they rush to try and cover the turrets and they realize we're not at the corridor, we can snipe them here-" he pointed at their map - "-and here. The two who blow the turrets meet in the middle, rescue the hostage by walking out the front door. We get extra lucky, whoever's guarding the corridor either gets drawn away, or tries to go after our man, or woman," he flashed a smile at Maggie, "who's been distracting them. Our saboteur either takes the guard out, or they go in the corridor to clear an easy exit, or they can help walk out the front door."

Gabriel smirked at Nathan, eyebrow raised, "Any other questions, _cabron_?"

Nathan looked like he planned on speaking, but Jack interrupted again, "It's a solid plan. Zhang," he nodded at Maggie, "had our class' highest rank in hand-to-hand combat, and she's like me. Hasn't had more than one treatment. She takes the corridor and can take out whoever gets close, and I can be the distraction." He smiled a little, shrugging and glancing at Gabriel, who was nodding, smiling, but Jack couldn't really tell from the side if it was a malicious smile for Nathan, or if maybe (too much to hope) he was grateful for the backup.

Again, before Nathan (who was turning red and looking like he was going to bite Jack's head off) could speak,  Maggie gave her two cents. "I like it. Besides, you got top ranks for sniping, right partner?" She smiled at the other woman in their group, glancing at Nathan. "It makes the most sense, right?"

There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the team, leaving Nathan fuming at the front of the room before he snarled out a 'fine' and assigned the remaining roles.

Gabriel set a hand on Jack's shoulder, smiling at him, but the look had an air of smugness that made Jack think he was happier about spiting Nathan. "Thanks for picking the right side, rookie."

Jack hadn't really realized that he _had_ until Gabriel phrased it like that. From the way Nathan was glaring at him though, Jack was guessing that what he had done was made an enemy.

~~

"How would you classify your mission, Morrison?" Jack hadn't actually had a previous one-on-one meeting with the Colonel (Dr. Okoye was there too, but she hadn't actually said anything), but apparently it was a Friday ritual. Or so Gabriel claimed.

Even up close the other man looked like stone, his every feature chiseled out and then smoothed down. Plastic surgery, maybe? He was almost unreal to look at, like some part of him might break off and reveal the creature from the Black Lagoon lurking beneath his skin.

Dr. Okoye was easier on the eyes, even though up close Jack realized she was a lot older than he'd first thought. Maybe her late fifties, early sixties? Older? He didn't have much talent for guessing ages. At least she looked like a real person, even though she hadn't locked eyes with him once, just kept jotting down notes, glancing over the top of her reading glasses as she went to check other files on the desk.

"Uh, a success, sir." Jack hadn't actually gotten to do much. He'd been struck with a paintball in his shoulder a minute into the mock-mission, though since it hadn't been flagged as life threatening he'd been allowed to keep going. He had actually "died" a few minutes later, just after the turrets blew. Everything else had gone as planned, even though the other team's guy at the corridor hadn't left his post.

Goldman was a hell of a lot better at running her team than Nathan had been, that was for damn sure, even if she had lost.

"The plan was solid. Everyone followed their orders. So uh... yeah." Jack said, glancing from Colonel Erikson to Dr. Okoye.

"Good." The Colonel said, not even a flicker of emotion or a hint of something besides idle interest. "We'll start with a team assessment." He nodded to the doctor. "Now, Morrison, you're aware you're the last member of the team we're interviewing, correct?"

"Yes, sir." Jack nodded.

"Then I hope you are aware that your other team members brought to my attention that there has been some conflict between Nathan and Gabriel." Colonel Erikson sighed. "I was hoping they could learn to work together. Would you say that's possible?"

"Uh." That made Jack take pause. "No, sir, I don't think so. They've got some-" Was there a polite way to say that Nathan had been half a word away from getting his ass handed to him? "-fundamental differences that I don't think can be resolved."

The Colonel nodded. "I didn't think so. Which one would you say was actually in charge of the team? If we were to say that neither had been assigned the role of 'Team Leader', who would you have assumed was in charge?" That was the question of a man who already had the answer.

"Reyes, sir. He had a plan, he knew our opponent well enough to know how she would maneuver her defenses, the other soldiers listened to him. _We_ listened to him," Jack corrected himself. "So if uh... if you're asking my opinion sir, Reyes would probably be a better choice for a team leader in future missions than..." Shit, what the hell was Nathan's last name? He didn't know it. No one had a name on their uniform, and no one had ever called him anything but his first name. Or was Nathan his last name?

"Erikson. Nathan Erikson."

 _Oh fuck me_.

"Y-Yes, sir," Jack said, hoping he didn't look as pale as he felt. Related. There was no way that his team leader and the Colonel weren't related. Impossible to tell by looking at them, because the Colonel didn't look like any normal person should, but the last name was too much of a coincidence. How fast could he backpedal this conversation without tossing his entire career down the toilet?

He couldn't get any kind of read off the Colonel's face either. Upset? Furious? Ready to throw him out right then and there? The man must have been a brutal poker player.

"Well, some of your team members did say that you were good for smoothing out some flaring tempers. Good. It wouldn't be the first time someone had to pry them apart. Perhaps it would be best to give them some time away from each other,” the Colonel said, nodding to Dr. Okoye again (who was still taking notes that Jack could only assume were _extremely_ detailed.) "Let's move onto your fellow newcomer, Margaret Zhang. How would you say she's settling in?"

~~

There was laughter and a whole lot of yelling and cheering down the hallway when Jack made his way towards the mess hall, wanting desperately to sit down, but not sure he could eat. His stomach was churning, even though the Colonel hadn't seemed upset, and there hadn't been any further mention of Nathan, or what Jack had said about him. Jack still couldn't shake the feeling that he had managed to destroy his career with a single offhand comment about someone's... son? Nephew? Cousin? Maybe Gabriel would know.

Of course he would know. He had been Nathan's roommate, and he hadn't had any problems with taking Nathan to task for bad tactical decisions. Maybe the Colonel wasn't related to him at all? Over-reacting. He was probably over-reacting to the whole thing.

When he walked inside the mess hall, all those thoughts were instantly driven out of his head when he saw what all the fuss was about. The tables had been hastily shoved aside and in the middle of the room, Goldman had Gabriel in a headlock, and half of his fellow soldiers seemed to be taking bets on who would win.

"Oh come on you fucker!" Goldman was hissing before Gabriel flipped her over his shoulder, and she hit the ground with a loud 'CRACK' that made Jack wince. He made his way over to Maggie, who was cheering along with the rest of the rookies.

Goldman swept her legs around, knocking Gabriel off his feet as the two clambered to get back on their feet.

"Apparently, this is a regular thing." Maggie grinned at Jack, obviously finding his bafflement amusing. "Team leaders throw down after a mock mission. Fridays are the _best_."

Jack winced when Goldman got a solid punch on Gabriel's cheek before he swept around and hit her back, nearly knocking her off her feet again. It didn't _look_ like they were holding back in the bare knuckle free-for-all, but then again they were a hell of a lot stronger and faster than anyone Jack had ever known. They could have been keeping themselves in check.

"Nathan was our team leader, why isn't he in there?" he said, though from the way Maggie rolled her eyes she felt the same way he did about that statement.

"His group went for their injections an hour ago," Maggie said, cheering again when both the soldiers went down to the floor, trying to pin each other. "And seriously, Goldman's call-out was, 'If I knew you were in charge I would have tried harder.' Literally _everyone_ heard her!"

"You do all know they're like..." Jack tried not to get distracted when Gabriel and Goldman rolled over each other. He'd always thought that people locked in a tight grapple could easily be mistaken for something out of a porno, and Gabriel straddling someone was...

"Related." Back to the matter at hand. "The Colonel and Nathan. They're both named Erikson."

Maggie blinked, turning to look at him, "They're- shit, really? That can't be right. They wouldn't be joking like this if they were related." She gestured around, but all Jack really noticed was that Gabriel had gotten the better of Goldman and knocked her back on her ass. "God, I never even asked when they called him Nathan and not by his last name. Shit."

"I'll ask Reyes about it," Jack said, before there was a loud 'BANG' behind them, which made everyone stop cheering and Goldman and Gabriel stop fighting.

Everyone turned, and behind them was Dr. Weber, picking back up his clipboard, which he had dropped down on the table to cause the noise. He was smiling, Jack noted, which meant that the doctor was probably used to this. "Team Four, you're up. Finish the pissing contest later." He gestured in Jack and Maggie's general area. "You're on deck for your first real set of injections tomorrow, Team Five. Sleep well."

~~

Jack had never exactly been alone in his living space before. In his Spartan bedroom, yes, bathroom, yes, and for a few minutes here and there in the main living space, but in the five days he'd lived there Gabriel was more or less always with him. He'd be watching the HoloTV late at night before bed, most of the time. Always in Spanish, which meant that Jack couldn't understand a word of it, but he was also usually so exhausted that he went straight to bed so that he could be plagued by the nonstop dreams - or were they nightmares? He didn't know how to classify them anymore.

He wouldn't even say he and Gabriel had really talked much. Idle gossip, mostly about training, or Gabriel would crack a joke or two (mostly at Jack's expense). It was weird not to have him there. The room seemed a little more empty without Gabriel in it.

Jack sighed, sitting down on the couch, settling in as best he could, reaching out and rifling through the recordings that Gabriel had picked up for the room. Bunch of titles in Spanish, and then some newscasts. Jack sighed and put the latter on, but of course as soon as he did all that flashed across the screen was stuff about the so-called growing "Omnic Crisis". Another attack on Russia, two days before, somewhere near Moscow. A lot of talk about "growing frequency" and a lot of "are we expecting an attack on US soil?" rhetoric.

The attacks had only just started when Jack had started basic training, not even six months before, and now it was starting to feel like people were panicking. No one seemed to have an answer as to 'why' or 'how' or 'who', so instead the conspiracy theories being tossed around were just getting more ludicrous. People had died, and as far as Jack could see the S.E.P. seemed to be the only thing anyone was doing about it.

Well, except the doubtless extremely secretive government agencies in other countries that Jack knew he'd never hear about.

"Soon,” Jack said, watching the talking heads on the screen. "Soon, we'll be able to protect you."

"So that's why you joined up."

Jack jumped, but he didn't curse out loud this time. He was getting used to Gabriel's ability to not make a sound when he walked, or even when he opened a door. "Could you wear a bell or something?"

Gabriel just smirked, closing the door behind him before he sat down beside Jack, slouching back into the couch. He had a cut lip and a bruise on the side of his head, and since he was wearing short sleeves Jack could see the scratch marks from where Goldman had grabbed him. The punctures from the injections stood out too, little holes dotting over his veins.

"Old habits. You should be grateful, some of these assholes will keep you up all night stomping around,” Gabriel said, resting his head back against the couch and closing his eyes.

Jack smiled, shifting around beside Gabriel, feeling better now that he was there. But he did have questions that he needed to get out. He reached out, pausing the vid and looking back at his partner. "So... about today..."

"What about it?" Gabriel said, not opening his eyes, or moving at all.

"What's with you and Nathan?"

"He's a dumb ass white boy who belongs here even less than you do, rookie," Gabriel said, reaching up and brushing the cut on his lip, wincing. "Damn, that's going to sting for a while."

Jack didn't let him change the subject. "What is he to the Colonel?"

"Nephew,”  Gabriel said, sighing and finally opening his eyes. "He got into the program, and he gets to play at being team leader because he has connections, and if they let him in the field he's going to get people killed." He sneered, hooking his arm back over the couch. "I had to have the useless piece of shit as my roommate because I think they wanted me to teach him what was what. _Cojeme_ , you heard him. What the fuck am I going to teach someone who couldn't find North with a compass?"

"Yeah." Jack couldn't really argue. "Still, if he's the Colonel's nephew shouldn't you... play nice?"

"Should and won't, _cabron,_ " Gabriel said, crossing his arms, "I don't give a shit who he's related to. Some of us worked to get here." He turned to face Jack, hesitating and scratching at the back of his head. "Thanks, though. For backing me."

Jack grinned. That sounded almost like a compliment. "Well, I mean, you had a better plan. And you're always hanging around Goldman, so you had good intel."

Gabriel chuckled. "I've known Abbey Goldman since _I_ was in basic. Doing these games against her is like playing Chess with myself. You know why we won so fast? She thought it would be easy, didn't set up any sort of Plan B because she didn't think she'd need one." He stabbed his index finger into Jack's shoulder. "Because when Nathan gets to play at being a leader, even if I'm on the team, I _always_ wind up following his dumb ass plan because no one will back me up, even if they know I'm right."

He was smiling, genuinely smiling, and God if that wasn't heart melting, Jack wasn't sure what was.

"Oh, don't look at me like I just made your whole fucking week." Jack must have made a face, because Gabriel poked him again. "You lost points because you didn't know who Nathan was when you backed my play." He was still smiling though, and the poking turned into Gabriel patting Jack's shoulder. "It's good to know other people think I'm right."

"Yeah, but I'm guessing Goldman appreciated it a lot less. Let me take a look at that." Jack grinned, leaning forward a little. Gabriel didn't move, allowing Jack to examine the bruise on the side of his head. Gabriel's skin was rough against Jack's fingers, and the bruise was obviously sensitive because he winced at the touch. He was also weirdly warm, but Jack didn't let his hands linger long enough to get a sense as to why. It already felt like a more familiar motion than he deserved from his partner. "Jesus, she really doesn't hold back does she?"

"Doesn't need to. It's Friday," Gabriel said, like that should mean something.

"Why yes, Reyes, it is Friday," Jack said, raising an eyebrow, taking his hand completely away from Gabriel's face. Better to not risk too much when they were actually having a real conversation, not just a fantasy one in Jack's head, or their usual round of insults.

"Injection day, rookie," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes and holding up his arm. "Cuts and bruises don't last long when this stuff gets in your system. I mean, we'll be sick as dogs for a day or so, but the physical stuff wears off pretty damn fast. Part of the super enhanced package."

"Nice to know they include an oil change," Jack said.

"Yeah, well, you'll get more out of it tomorrow, provided nothing goes wrong for you," Gabriel said, going to flip through more of their recordings. "Man, could you have at least left these in order? I have a system."

"Sorry," Jack said, going to help but Gabriel just waved him off. "You don't think... anything will go wrong though, right?"

Gabriel groaned, glancing over his shoulder as he crouched down, leaning over. It wasn't a lewd motion, he was just picking up everything Jack had messed up, but... damn it was distracting. The pants were tight already, but bent over they seemed to strain over Gabriel's muscles. "Morrison, there's no way to tell if something is going to go wrong. Look at Nathan fucking Erikson. Most useless piece of shit we have, and he's fine, but you lost your friend... what's-his-name. There were plenty in my group who I thought were just as good as me, and now they're gone because their biology screwed them over. Now that you're here, it's Russian Roulette, not the Olympics."

"Right. Got it." Jack hated gambling. He'd never gotten the appeal of risking everything on luck, and maybe if he'd known that going in he wouldn't have volunteered in the first place. Maybe that was why no one told him or any of the other rookies.

Had Gabriel known?

"So. You were Special Forces, right?" Jack said, deciding a change of subject was in order. "Why'd you join up?"

"Is that code for 'Hey Reyes, are you also an optimistic farm boy who joined up to protect the innocent and remain vigilant against the forces of evil?' Because no, I'm not," Gabriel said, finishing up his organization and setting his stack of recordings beside their HoloTV in the order he wanted them.

Jack winced a little at the completely fair assessment of himself. Did he really come off as that naive? "Okay, so why?"

"Because I'm good at it." Gabriel stood and turned around, towering over Jack as he sat on the couch. He smirked again, looking every bit as dangerous as he was. It made goose bumps crawl over Jack's skin, ever hair standing on end. God, he looked good like that.

Except then Gabriel wobbled a little, catching himself and pressing his hand to his forehead. "Damn."

Jack stood up quickly, offering his hand, which Gabriel did not take. "You okay?"

"Hm? Yeah. Stood up too fast," Gabriel said, still looking a little unsteady, but Jack was hesitant to touch him again.

"You want to sit down?" Jack asked, standing aside and shimmying around Gabriel when the larger man at least did him the favor of taking the offered seat. Jack wasn't sure he would have been able to lift Gabriel if he fell.

He sank down, letting out a long sigh as he did. "Look, don't stare at me with your Bambi eyes. I told you, the injections make you sick. I'll just be a bit off."

"You want to go to bed early?" Jack asked, glancing back at Gabriel's bedroom door. He could probably help Gabriel get into the room while the other man was still coherent.

"What? Fuck that, I'm not _that_ sick. Besides, if I sleep on the couch it's a hell of a lot closer to the bathroom. Don't always puke your guts out, but I'm not risking it," Gabriel said, pulling up a pillow and laying his head down. "You want to be a real partner, you'll grab my blanket."

Jack smiled, letting Gabriel get comfortable before he went into Gabriel's room. He didn't know what he should have expected, but it pretty much looked identical to his. Bed was on the other side of the wall, that was all.

He leaned down a moment, taking the sheet off, feeling the mattress before he took the pillow as well. _If he fucked me, it wouldn't matter which bed it was on_.

He stepped back from the bed, furious with himself. Gabriel was sick, for fuck's sake. _Nice, Jack, very mature. Great partner you're turning out to be_.

He tucked the pillow under his arm and walked back out, draping the sheet over Gabriel, who had taken back up his regular position on the couch, completely stretched out with his head on the armrest. He blinked up at Jack when the sheet was draped over him.

"Lift up your head, I brought your pillow." Jack said, smiling and holding it out.

"Look at you. Did we get married when I wasn't looking?" Gabriel asked, lifting up his head as Jack shoved it under him. "Seriously, rookie, what's your deal? Making an application for sainthood, or am I just _incredibly_ sexy?"

Thank Christ, Gabriel had his eyes closed when he said that, because Jack's cheeks went deep red. "Don't be an ass. This, I'd do for anyone. And everything earlier... that's just because you were right. And I don't like to lose." None of that was a lie. Just... not the whole truth.

"Course not. Nobody likes a loser. Just ask Nathan."

~~

Jack couldn't sleep. Every night, even with the dreams, he had at least passed out right away, but now with his first _real_ set of injections set for the next day it felt a lot more real. He hadn't known there was a threat before, but Gabriel had said there was a risk with the first three sets.

Did that include the one he had already received, or was he going to have to worry for the next two weeks while he was at it? And then Nathan _fucking_ Erikson.

 _Dear mom and dad, great first week. Puked my guts out, can't stop looking at my partner's ass, and have already potentially fucked my entire future. Could also have my limbs rot off if my body rejects all the shit the doctors put in it. How are things? Love, Jack_. He rolled over, shoving his face in his pillow. He should have asked more questions, but Gabriel had only gotten more out of it the longer they had talked. Wasn't fair to push him, not like that.

Not when he already felt like such an asshole.

 _So mature. So_ clearly _belong here with the other adults_. He didn't even know how old Gabriel was. It couldn't be that much more, could it? Early twenties, maybe?

He sighed, banging his head ineffectually into his pillow. His pillow, which was the exact same as Gabriel's pillow. His bed, which was exactly the same as Gabriel's bed. Didn't smell like him though. Not Gabriel's own musty scent, just the regulation deodorant they all wore. Jack could imagine his partner though, if he tried. The couch had smelled like him. The sheets had. The pillows had. Jack had been sitting so close, touched him, if only for a second.

His cock twitched between his legs, and he sighed, grinding against the mattress.

 _Just so I can sleep. It doesn't mean anything_ , he told himself, shifting his hips so he could tug down his boxers. He tucked the elastic under his balls, shivering a little in the cool air. He'd be warm soon enough. He pulled the underwear down at the back too. Why not go the whole way, if he was feeling this shitty already?

Licking his fingers and spitting in his palm, he reached behind, teasing his entrance. Just probing himself, testing the ring of muscle. It had been months since he'd had his own space to really jerk off. A quick tug in a semi-public restroom was all find and good, but it wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't either, but it was closer.

Pushing his finger in, he moaned a little, feeling rough inside himself, and his own spit not really enough to lube him. That was fine too. It let him picture Gabriel doing it a little more clearly, rough and thorough. He gasped, pushing in further, past his second knuckle as quickly as he could, breath catching. Fast, too fast, he pushed in his second finger, groaning now as his cock jumped to life and he ground it into the mattress, not wanting to touch it just yet.

Not yet.

He closed his eyes, working his fingers in further, scissoring them and exploring, trying to remember where everything was. It felt like years instead of a few months since he had touched himself. Except in his head, it wasn't him. It was Gabriel touching him, and Gabriel's fingers inside him. He sobbed a little when he pushed against his prostate, trying to keep his voice down, to stay quiet so Gabriel wouldn't hear him.

" _Show me what you've got, rookie_." Even though it had only been a week, he could already hear Gabriel's voice whispering in his ear.

"Fuck," he hissed. He couldn't keep doing this the way he wanted to. Couldn't draw it out. He leaned into his shoulder, his free hand moving towards his cock through his fine blond pubic hair as he stroked himself, fingers rubbing inside, edging himself towards orgasm. Panting, he went harder, tightening his grip on the heat of his cock. He had to hold onto the feeling, his whole body shaking as he fought to support himself. "Come on... come on..."

" _I can fuck you 'til you cry, cabron_."

Jack came then, gasping and slumping back into the bed, grinding into his hand and his mattress until he was spent. He sighed, pulling out his fingers, wiping them on his sheet because the only other option was his shirt or daring to go past Gabriel on the couch to get to the bathroom. He didn't think he could bare the shame of that. He had already gone too fast and didn't feel any of the satisfaction he'd hoped for.

Jack didn't hear his door close over the sound of his own desperate breaths.


	3. Weekends Which Eventually Lead To Weekdays

Gabriel Reyes had enough goddamn problems without adding something else to the pile.

"You have to understand, Reyes, that the best leaders also know when to follow,” the Colonel had said, lording over Gabriel like the quiet sociopath he was.

"With all due respect sir, I know how to follow orders, but I didn't come here to waste my time," Gabriel said. Two months and he felt like he'd had this conversation almost every other day. "He's unprofessional, he doesn't listen to advice, and if you keep making him team leader without making _him_ follow orders, he's never going to learn any respect for his betters."

And oh, Gabriel struggled to think of a single person on the planet who wasn't better than Nathan motherfucking Erikson.

The Colonel had sighed, standing and going to his window, while Dr. Okoye kept taking her notes. She was the ever-silent partner to Gabriel's conversations with the Colonel, and he supposed, everyone else's. It was hard not to wonder what secrets she knew, and how much of the bigger picture she had. More than the Colonel did, that was for damn sure.

"In the end, everyone who comes out the other end of this training will need to be able to work together." The Colonel said, looking down at the hustle and bustle of the rest of the base below them. "The Omnics will come for us, Reyes. It's only a matter of time. You have a real chance here to be a leader of men – don't throw it away because of one person."

Nathan _motherfucking_ Erikson.

Gabriel rolled over on the couch, glancing at the clock. Just past midnight. He'd only slept for an hour, and he wasn't really sure he'd have called it sleep. His body, acting like a traitor, was sluggish and kept cramping up. Morrison had at least left him some water on the table, but he couldn't actually reach it because both his arms had fallen asleep.

Morrison. Now there was the newest issue. The rookie had a lot of potential, and damned if he couldn't run the training courses almost as fast as soldiers who had gone through three or four injections. Naive as all hell - Prom King indeed - but that sort of thing would fade with time. Gabriel had seen it happen before. That wasn't the problem.

The problem, very definitely, was that Gabriel had stood by the door and watched his partner fingering himself until he came.

 _Fucking rookie needs to put a sock on the door. No one in this place can follow one goddamn rule. Just one._ He rolled over again, closing his eyes and trying to will the image out of his head. _Please, you barely saw anything_. It had really just been the outline of Morrison, illuminated by his alarm clock. Gabriel hadn't intended to catch him doing something illicit – he'd just heard a noise and gone to check on the rookie, which was stupid because he could barely walk. The only distress his partner had been in was of his own making, and none of Gabriel's business. _Just let the idiot get his rocks off, calm the fuck down_.

So then, why was this a problem at all? Because now he was thinking about it. Fine, in theory, Gabriel had idle thoughts about team members and partners in compromising positions all the time. It was a fun way to get through boring meetings if he could picture what someone would look like naked and getting pounded into the desk, by him or by someone else. It wasn't exactly like they had a crap-ton to do.

Gossip, conspiracy theories, re-runs of his favorite telenovelas, cards, pool, whatever – there still wasn't much. He missed the early stages a bit because at least then at the end of the day he'd always been too tired to do anything anyway. At least he had Abbey, and she was always good for a laugh. The rest of his team wasn't so bad. Hell, ninety percent of the teams were fine, even if he might not have voluntarily hung around with them in any other situation. If they bored him too much, he'd go back to picturing them naked, or trying to figure out who _else_ was picturing them naked, which just as much fun. Even back home, he'd enjoyed people-watching.

Then, of course, he liked to try and suss out who was picturing _him_ naked, which was always a decent number. Gabriel knew he was attractive, and he'd been told often enough that he had 'that whole tall, dark, handsome bad boy thing' going for him. There was always a look or two that gave away someone who wasn't exactly thinking of what a wonderful comrade-in-arms he was.

Unless they were thinking of being in their comrade's arms, as it were. He didn't blame the others any more than he blamed himself. This many soldiers on a base with very little to do, _someone_ was thinking about fucking, or just doing it. It wasn't, strictly speaking, 'forbidden' – just discouraged.

Despite enjoying the thought of it, Gabriel didn't indulge. Sexual relationships would cause too many problems down the road. Plus, considering there was a war on the horizon, there was a good chance they could all die. Getting too close to anyone, even making friends, was dangerous. He already knew what it was like to lose people.

Now, though... now this rookie, this pale-ass farm boy from nowhere with his shiny happy Golden Boy face, square jaw and precious smile out of a goddamn commercial, was in Gabriel's head. He'd known almost right away that the rookie wanted in his pants, and that was fine. Hell, Gabriel briefly considered granting Morrison's wish and breaking his facade by throwing him down on a mess hall table, tossing his legs over his shoulders, and railing him while the blond begged for it. _Actually_ seeing Morrison fucking his own fingers and rubbing one out on his mattress was different; it made the whole idea feel a lot more real.

It also felt a lot like cheating, having caught a glimpse of what kind of thing the Prom King was into.

 _I wonder if he was thinking about me_. Gabriel smirked, closing his eyes and pulling his sheet around his shoulders. _Nah, probably a sheep_.

~~

The mess hall was almost dead when Jack went to breakfast, only a few members of the other teams having shown up, and most of them looked like they had hangovers. That was impossible, since it was a dry base, so Jack was guessing it had to do with the injections.

Gabriel had still been asleep, so Jack left him alone, instead gathering up some food to bring back to the room. They didn't have to be anywhere, and it looked like his set of injections wasn't slated until noon. Plenty of time to get things done. Or it would have been, if they'd actually had to get anything done. That in itself was a strange feeling, since for the last thirteen weeks of Jack's life every single second had been highly regimented. He was guessing they'd been allowed to have weekends at S.E.P. mainly to deal with the after effects of the drugs they were taking.

Even asleep, Gabriel had looked positively ashen, and he'd been shivering under his sheet when Jack had woken up. Jack had done his best to get a look at Gabriel's arms to check for any of the black pus that had shown up on Tom, but it had been hard to tell with Gabriel wrapped up so tightly.

He sighed, picking up some bagels and staring at the counter, realizing he didn't actually know what Gabriel liked to eat. It wasn't as though they ever sat together, and Jack hadn't exactly been watching. Maybe just butter then, or he could just take some little packets and let Gabriel decide back at the room... then someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, well, well." Jack knew the voice. It belonged to Nathan. "Someone left our little Golden Boy all by himself out here. Or are you playing at being Reyes' slave now?"

The other man towered over him, a lot like Gabriel did, and also like Gabriel, Nathan looked like shit. He was a bit green and unsteady on his feet, which Jack sincerely hoped was the reason the other man had laid a hand on him.

"I'm taking care of my partner," Jack said, pulling back, which put the other man a little off balance. Good. Jack didn't really want to be openly hostile to the Colonel's nephew, but he also didn't want to start taking shit from the man.

"Oh, I'm sure he's into that. How else do you take care of him, pretty boy?" Nathan asked, stepping towards Jack again, getting in his space, "Get down on your knees and suck his fat Mexican cock—”

"Problem?" Nathan stopped talking, and Jack had never felt so relieved to see Goldman before, even though she had the similar ashen green tinge to her features that the others did. "Or am I interrupting a nice little chat between the Blond Boys Society?"

Nathan held up his hands, sneering at her. "No problems here." He glared at Jack, the warning that he should keep his mouth shut very obvious.

"No problems," Jack said, deciding a peaceful outcome was better than a fight first thing in the morning. Not that seeing Goldman kick the shit out of Nathan didn't have its own appeal, but from the shade of their skin the fight might also end with the mess hall covered in vomit.

Nathan smirked, patting Jack's shoulder as he walked away. "Good boy."

Goldman didn't move, watching Nathan leave. Jack hadn't really gotten a chance to look at the Amazonian woman before, with her shaved dark hair and her sharp eyes, but damn her posture and physique made it clear she didn't fuck around.

"Cunt," she said, once Nathan was out of earshot, before she smirked at Jack, "Gabriel likes honey on his bagel, blondie."

"Oh, uh." Jack smiled, grabbing the honey off the counter. "Thanks for that. And for Nathan, I don't know what he was pissed about."

"Please, you know _exactly_ what it was about. And call me Abbey, Goldman was my father" she said, staying exactly where she was, watching as Nathan joined the rest of his team. "Gabe doing alright?"

"Yeah, he slept on the couch, so no alarm and... I didn't have the heart to wake him up. I don't think he slept much," Jack admitted, though he'd also kind of liked the idea of doing something nice for Gabriel. _Yeah like that makes up for using him as masturbation material. Shit_.

"Damn, I want to trade in for you." Abbey laughed, slapping Jack's ass, "Cute and courteous. Want to put in for a transfer? I promise I'm just as good as he is."

Jack shook his head. "Thanks, but if it's all the same to you, I like working with Reyes. I think we've got a good thing going." He did wonder what it would have been like if he had been assigned to her and not Gabriel. She did seem to be in a better mood most of the time, but in a way Jack sort of worried about his current partner. Someone needed to have his back.

Though at least Abbey had slapped his ass twice, which was more than the brief touch he'd had with Gabriel.

 _Keep that shit on lockdown_. Yeah, that time seemed to have passed.

"Wow, someone besides me likes working with Gabe? I should throw him a parade." Abbey giggled, which was odd to see from someone who was built like a brick shithouse. The moment broke when she leaned in, her face suddenly very serious. "Let me and Gabe know if Nathan gives you a hard time, rookie. He's a man with a fragile ego, and you helped Gabriel show him up. He won't forget that." She pointed at the coffee maker. "Also, Gabe takes his coffee black. Like his soul." She threw her head back, laughing again, while she walked away and waved.

Jack waved back, unsure what to make of that.

~~

Gabriel was awake when Jack came back, wandering out of the shower in only a towel, which nearly made Jack drop the whole tray he'd brought. He managed to pass it off as struggling with the door. It wasn't that Gabriel didn't look like shit - he was wandering around like an infirm old man - but like that Jack could see every line of his muscles, plus the thick patch of black hair that had been trimmed to accentuate the V that led down his groin, only just concealed by the fluffy white towel around his waist.

Jack quickly looked up, making a bit of a show of his struggle with the door, which he hoped would be distracting enough. "Hey, want to lend me a hand?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, taking a second towel and draping it over his shoulders. "I think your gracefulness would put me to shame right now."

"Fuck off, if I drop the coffee I'm not getting you another one," Jack said, managing to balance his tray as the door swung closed behind him.

" _Tirate a un pozo_." Gabriel said, going to his door and closing it behind him. Jack wished he knew what that meant, but in lieu of an actual answer he set the tray down on the coffee table and took his own coffee.

When Gabriel re-emerged he had put on pants and tugged on a tank top. He slumped down beside Jack, picking up his bagel. He paused, looking it over. "So have you been stalking me, or did you run into Abbey?"

"She took pity on me," Jack admitted, taking his own bagel, "Everyone else looked like kind of a wreck. Did you sleep okay?"

Gabriel shrugged, "Well as can be expected. It mostly sucked, and I can never get my temperature right after they make me a porcupine. So, you know, thanks." He held up his coffee mug, gesturing at it before he took a sip.

"No problem. You know, it's funny, Goldman-"

"Abbey."

Jack blinked, nodding slowly. "Right, Abbey... she uh, tried to get me to put in a transfer. I didn't think doing this stuff would be that big a deal." Well, and he felt guilty for acting like a horn-dog, even if Gabriel didn't know about it. The principle of the thing felt wrong.

"That traitor," Gabriel mumbled, closing his eyes and tilting his head back before he sat up a little straighter, as though he had only just processed exactly what Jack had said. "You're not going to, right?"

Jack actually blushed a little, forcing himself to laugh. "What, me? Nah, man. Way too much paperwork." He had literally no idea how much paperwork requesting a partner transfer would require. He wondered if Gabriel had asked for one when he had been partnered with Nathan? Either way, nice to know he was wanted. He wondered if...

 _It's because you helped him with Nathan and brought him breakfast._ He doubted that after one week it was anything else.

Gabriel nodded, then glanced Jack up and down, "So, you staying in with my invalid ass, or are you going to meet up with the rest of your team to trade conspiracy theories before your turn in needle central?"

"I think I'm the only one up so far." Jack shrugged. "I always get up early. Comes from growing up on a farm."

"Jesus, enough with that. I can't stomach the farm boy crap today." Gabriel didn't actually sound annoyed. He leaned forward and picked out a recording from his set, throwing it at Jack. "Put it on for your poor sick partner, would you?"

Jack looked it over, but he didn't recognize the label. "Does this one have subtitles?"

"You actually want to watch?" Gabriel asked, settling into his usual position of taking up almost the entire couch as he bit into his bagel.

"Sure, I don't have anything else to do for," Jack glanced at the clock, "four hours."

Gabriel sighed, "Fine. I'll turn on the subtitles, but it's season five so don't blame me if you don't know what the fuck is happening."

~~

"Just lie back and don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

Dr. Weber said that, but almost as soon as he started poking Jack with more needles, he sure as hell felt something.

After four hours of watching a telenovela about a vampire while Gabriel had bitched about how it 'wasn't as good as the original show', Jack had thought finally going for his injections would be a relief. Now, though, he just wanted to go back to the comfortable couch and give himself a break. He'd never watched much TV, had never really had the time, but Gabriel had seemed pretty invested, and wound up pausing to explain parts of the plot that flew over Jack's head.

Mostly, Jack had tried to learn some Spanish. It hadn't worked.

Jack tried to zone out during the injections, picturing the words so the he could remember something, anything, that someone in the show had said, and what it might mean. He was pretty sure he could manage a "Hello" in Spanish now, but he felt like he'd already sort of known that. He hadn't done _that_ badly in high school Spanish, had he?

He hissed in pain after the second injection, and watched as the veins in his arms seemed to stand up, his whole body shivering, "What is that?"

"Nothing to worry about," Dr. Weber said, not seeming to pay any attention to the way Jack's body reacted, instead taking another needle and jabbing it into him.

He groaned and looked away, trying to ignore the wave of nausea that swept through him when he watched too closely.  Ridiculous, he wasn't even afraid of needles, but it did make him recall the dreams he kept having. Not good when he was already naked and strapped to the table. The last thing he needed was an erection in front of the doctor.

Though, maybe that happened sometimes anyway? Not worth the risk.

He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, shutting his eyes tight and trying to think of something else, _anything_ else. Football plays had always helped when he was back home. Strategy, something complicated. Then Weber turned him over and jabbed needles into the back of his knees, and of course, as promised, one in his ass, and all hope of distraction went out the window. The last one hurt like hell, and Jack hadn't been able to keep back an involuntary cry when whatever they'd used flooded into his body.

"What the _fuck_?" he demanded when Weber finally let him up.

Weber just shrugged. "That one will only be once a month for six months. Then you'll be done, and you won't have to deal with it again."

Once a month for six months, so one down and five to go. Jack would have to remember that. Bright side, he had gotten through the first real set of injections. Now he just had to try and make sure he didn't get an infection and... what? Die? Be rejected from the program? Lose an arm? Wait for his ass to fall off?

By the time he made it back to his room, he'd stopped thinking about that because his head was pounding and his whole body was starting to shake in desperation. He made it through the door, caught sight of Gabriel napping on the couch, and then had to make a B-line for the washroom, because his stomach had decided to stage its own rebellion, taking its wrath out on his breakfast.

By the time he'd finished retching in the toilet, Gabriel was at the door, leaning against it for support and grinning. "Welcome to the club, soldier."

There was something rewarding about that.

~~

While, without a doubt, the weekend had been the most sick Jack had ever felt in his life, it had some good parts. Once he'd finally stopped throwing up, he'd pretty much gone straight to bed, and hadn't woken up until noon the next day. That meant he had slept through the hot flashes followed by chills he'd suffered from the first time around. Gabriel had been nice enough to bring him soup, which was steadily becoming a staple of his diet.

The greater relief came when he checked the injection sites and found that while they'd bruised, there was no sign of infection. They were still tender to the touch for all of Sunday, which meant that Jack had spent most of his time laid out on the couch, stealing Gabriel's spot, trying to make out the blurry subtitles while he fell in and out of sleep. Gabriel had sat in his usual spot, more upright and alert, which had also been comforting, and by Sunday night Jack didn't seem to feel sick at all. Sadly it didn't last until Monday, when he felt like he had a hangover again.

His team was also short another member.

 _And then there were three,_ he thought to himself, not even noticing when Gabriel and Goldman - Abbey, Jack reminded himself - brought the rest of team four to settle down with them, raising their number up to eight.

"You kids looked lonely, so guess what?" Abbey said, sitting on Gabriel's other side as Jack's partner took a seat beside him. Abbey had lost her partner, so it seemed like she'd been paired up with Tom's original guy, whose name Jack had never caught. "We're all in this together now."

She hadn't been kidding. Team four and five were paired up for all their training, and always, Jack was with his partner. They ran their laps together, did their weapons training together, and at the end of the night when all was said and done, they would flop out on their couch and watch some truly questionable acting - as far as Jack was concerned, because Gabriel seemed to eat that shit up - together.

By Thursday morning, Jack didn't even feel exhausted when he woke up, and the week seemed to have blown by between jokes, ass kicking and strategy meetings. Now he was up and ready to go when Gabriel was, and the two would go for breakfast to meet the rest of their team, and on the way they'd mostly talk about the telenovelas they watched, which was a welcome distraction.

Gabriel had seen them all before, and he seemed to like that Jack wasn't used to the TV formula writing that he knew by heart.

"So, what do you think will happen next?"

"Gabriel, come on, my predictions for these shows are garbage, I'm never going to get it right. I'm like a whole season in now and I _still_ don't even know what Estelle's deal is."

"Guess one thing right, and we'll go back and start at season one."

"Hector will finally tell her that he loves her."

"Morrison, that is literally the point of season six, can you try and be more specific?"

"Jack."

Gabriel blinked, raising an eyebrow, "What?"

"You can call me Jack." He was still getting used to Gabriel calling him 'Morrison', which he liked a lot better than 'cabron' or 'rookie', but his own little goal had been to get Gabriel to call him by his first name. "I mean, that's what everyone else calls me. Even Abbey." For about a day and a half she had, anyway.

Gabriel smiled, rolling his eyes and punching Jack's shoulder. "Fine, fine. Jack. No more Reyes, then. Just call me Gabriel, if you're going to get all sappy about it."

"Oh, I'm the sappy one when you're the one who cried over Hector seeing Estella kissing Juan-"

"Listen, _pendejo_ , you tell anyone you saw that and I'll make you regret it every day for the rest of your life."

Gabriel reached to punch him again, but Jack managed to dance just out of his reach, grinning. Of course, he had to try and avoid Gabriel, whereas Gabriel barely had to move, which meant that Jack nearly fell on his ass trying. There was also a long ripping sound, which made them both pause.

"Was that my...?" Jack reached around the back of his shirt, which had been feeling awfully tight the last few days, and found a long tear along his shoulder.

Gabriel chuckled, taking Jack's arm and turning him around a bit, raising an eyebrow. "Well, looks like that's really starting to take." He hooked a finger in the long rip, which ran down Jack's shoulder blade. "You could have told me your clothes were getting so tight."

"Aw, and here I'd hoped you were noticing how fit I was getting all on your own." Jack laughed, but at the same time he _hadn't_ really noticed. Not exactly. The day before he'd briefly had the thought that he might be getting a bit of a gut because he pants felt tighter, and sure the shirts had felt a little snug, but he'd been more worried that somehow they'd been shrunken in the wash.

"Hm." Gabriel mumbled, letting the shirt snap back into place. He didn't comment on Jack's joke. If anything, he seemed a bit distracted. "Well, maybe this will be what you need to finally look intimidating. Come on, we've got to find one of the doctors so they can put in an order for one size up." He waved for Jack to follow him, and like a loyal dog, he did.

 _Better than a lovesick puppy, I guess,_ Jack thought to himself, sighing as he reached back again and played with the tear in his shirt.

He had been making an effort to be more mature around his partner, especially since Abbey and the other more senior soldiers were eating with the three remaining rookies. Sure, they all made jokes and poked fun at each other, that was normal, but especially beside the boisterous and loud Abbey, Gabriel was mostly quiet, only speaking when it was something bitingly sarcastic, or something useful about tactics.

It had actually been Maggie who had pointed out that Abbey often seemed like the boasting jock, while Gabriel seemed, if anything, like the moody goth kid in the back of the class. Not exactly mature, but oddly fitting.

"Why do you think they're friends?" she'd asked one night in the rec room, when Jack had finally been convinced to hang out with his remaining Basic Training mates. "I mean, can you imagine them going out together somewhere? I bet Goldman drinks bars out of business, and Reyes just like... what's the thing where you say something and then kill someone?"

"A one-liner?" Jack asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, that." Maggie nodded. "I just mean... people come together in odd ways, I guess."

"What do you mean come together?" Jack asked, accidentally shooting the eight ball off their pool table.

"Well, I mean they're fucking, right?"

It was a good thing Jack had already taken his shot, because that took him aback. "What? No they aren't, who told you that?"

"Yeah, not what's happening," their final companion, Claude, had said, finding their missing eight ball. "My partner says Goldman's married, and Reyes is into dudes."

"Goldman's _married_?" Maggie said.

"Reyes is _what_?"

Jack had never been a gossip monger. Talking behind someone's back about their personal business was... well, rude. His parents had taught him better than that. But he also didn't know _anything_ about Gabriel. Even though he had shut down that conversation as quickly as he could, Claude's hearsay from the night before was still bouncing around in the back of his mind when Gabriel took him down to medbay.

It wasn't like being gay in the military was a big deal. It was 2048, not 1948. But, still, it still wasn't exactly a common conversational topic. Hell, Jack wasn't planning on marching around the base telling everyone his sexual history. He didn't think his parents would have minded, it wasn't the sort of thing they'd get hung up on... except for maybe the part where he enjoyed getting tied up. He still wasn't sure how comfortable _he_ was with that.

 _No point in putting any stock in gossip anyway_. He still didn't believe Abbey Goldman was married, let alone that Gabriel might... _Even if he is gay, he probably thinks you're a fucking idiot_. Well, no probably not an idiot - he hoped - but probably about as far from relationship material as someone could possibly get.

Relationship. God. So much for keeping _any_ of his shit on lockdown. _I don't even really know him_.

"You're being awfully quiet all of a sudden," Gabriel said, glancing over his shoulder. "What are you, embarrassed by your rippling muscles or something?"

That made Jack smile. "Nah, just thinking is all."

"Oh shit, son, looks like the Prom King is locked in serious thought."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Didn't we just decide on Jack, Gabriel?" It felt strange to say his name out loud. "I was just thinking I don't... know that much about you."

Gabriel glanced at him over his shoulder. "What's there to know?"

"Well, I mean." Jack walked a little faster so that he could at least keep up with him. His track coach had teased him once about how he was a slow walker, but a fast sprinter. "I know you were in Special Ops. I know you have weird taste in TV. I know you speak Spanish."

"Okay, if we want to list off random things we know about each other, I know you were the Prom King from some corn town who also played football." Gabriel had his eyebrow raised again. "You don't know about me because you've never asked about me. And I don't ask about you, because I figure it's your business."

"So... you want me to stay out of yours?" Jack asked, falling behind Gabriel's longer strides again.

"Didn't say that. Just said you'd never asked." Gabriel shrugged. "There's not much to know. I'm from LA-"

"Why don't you say 'like' all the time?"

"-go fuck yourself, Jack. I'm not from the Valley. You want to talk or not?"

Jack smiled, holding up his hands. "Sorry."

"I lived with my grandparents. I was in a band. Congratulations, now you know things about me." Gabriel shrugged.

"You were in a band?" Jack couldn't hide the grin that broke out on his face. "What did you play? No wait, let me guess, you sang." That felt like an easier target, a little less personal than the first bit. Why had Gabriel lived with his grandparents?

Gabriel snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah, make fun all you want but we were pretty good."

"What kind of music did you play on your... drum set?" Jack asked, still guessing.

"We were a mariachi band, _cabron_." Gabriel chuckled. "Oh wait, you're uncultured swine. Do you even know what a mariachi band is?"

"Yeah, you wear costumes and the big hat while you played... trumpet?" Jack asked, racking his brain for anything else about mariachi bands, but nothing came to mind. They'd had a Mexican restaurant in town where the owner would sometimes wear the hat and sing happy birthday with the waiters. It was the only "cultural diversity" Jack had access to for most of his life, and he had only been there twice.

"Jesus, read a book. And I cannot believe you haven't guessed it yet. Guitar, _pendejo_. I play guitar." Gabriel smiled, elbowing him, harder than Jack was expecting, but at least he kept his footing.

Gabriel was touching him a lot more often.

Still smiling, Jack nodded. "You know, I can see it. I wish you had your guitar. I'd love to hear you play."

Gabriel snorted. "Oh yeah, I'm sure it would be right up your alley. What do you listen to on farms anyway?" He waggled his eyebrows. "I've heard you sing in the shower, Jackie boy, don't think I don't know."

Jack blushed, mouth hanging open a little. "That is... that is patently unfair."

"What's unfair is the way you butcher that so-called music. What did it ever do to you?"Gabriel chuckled, guiding Jack through to the medbay.

"Listen, I was always more of a sports guy than a music guy-" Jack started to say before the doors to the medbay flew open, both Dr. Okoye and Dr. Weber flanking either side of the Colonel, who stopped directly in front of them.

The Colonel's face, possibly for the first time since Jack had seen him, had an expression, and it made Jack sort of wish that he would go back to his usual empty-eyed stare. The look on the Colonel's face was one of horror, his mouth gaping a little, eyebrows high and eyes wide, making him look, if anything, like a screaming gargoyle.

"Sir?" Jack asked, glancing at Gabriel, then back at his boss.

"Everyone to the mess hall," the Colonel said, his hands shaking a little.

"Yes, sir," Gabriel said, saluting, while Jack did the same. "What happened, sir?"

"Attack in New Mexico," the Colonel said, brushing past them. "It's the Omnics. We've been hit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish terms: 
> 
> Cabron: Did you know the direct translation is goat-licker? Now you do!  
> Pendejo: Dickhead  
> Tirate a un pozo: Throw yourself in a hole
> 
> Thanks again to my lovely Beta, Aisu, and thank you to everyone who's left a comment or given me kudos! I'm sorry I haven't had time to reply to everyone.
> 
> See something weird or notice I've used the wrong year for the timeline? Message me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/ or leave a comment here!


	4. Week Five

"Red team closing in, blue team please respond, over."

Jack had grown almost three inches in just over three weeks, and actually started to fill out to the point where Gabriel finally didn't feel right poking "Prom King" jokes at him anymore. Not that he'd had a hell of a lot of time to appreciate his partner's more adult form, because they'd been going nonstop since New Mexico. The three times they'd been back to their base, and the safety of their room, it had only ever been for a few days, and only ever to get their injections and recover. After that, it was straight back into the shit-show, and Good God it was a shit-show.

The area around the Santa Fe factory had been decimated by a mixture of the army's carpet bombing and the Omnics' Bastions. They'd stopped the advance after the first week and a half, but the whole city was a disaster zone. Gabriel had been in active combat zones before – hell, most of the soldiers had – but seeing it on US soil was different. It wasn't just around the factory, it was half the city, and even though most of the citizens had been evacuated the number of missing people and still active Omnics had become an ongoing crisis.

S.E.P. had also been forbidden to engage on the front lines, though the Colonel hadn't specified why. The words "Top Secret" and "Untested Tech" had come up during their debriefings, but no one had given a straight answer as to why the teams hadn't been deployed the second the enemy they were supposed to be fighting had shown up.

Instead, they had been given the tedious task of sweeping the abandoned city for any remaining Bastions.

"Ground troops aren't strong enough on their own," the Colonel had said, hands clasped behind his back as he explained their situation, "so the regular military forces have been tasked with civilian rescue. S.E.P. will be providing much needed support, and will be recognized as having full authority. However, the exact nature of what we do is still classified information. If someone asks questions, unless the answer can reasonably be 'to ensure the safety of the city and destroy any remaining Bastion units', you tell them it's top secret. Keep things as simple as possible. You clear your designated zone, you report back, regular infantry goes in for search and rescue. You find something that's more than you can handle, you call for backup. The sweeps will be performed in teams of two, your current partner, with the next closest team under a mile away at all times. I don't want to lose any of you, we clear?"

"Yes sir!"

"We're too expensive to lose," Abbey had snickered from beside him.

She was probably right. For all the resources poured into the program, they had less than fifty soldiers, and less than half of them had actually completed their upgrade. Gabriel's own end date was still three months out, and their rookie squad still had five left to go. Regardless, they were all in the field.

They also hadn't gotten anyone new.

"Blue team in position. Beginning sweep, over." Gabriel turned away from the Jeep he and Jack had ridden in on. Three weeks, and they hadn't seen a whole lot - but the closer they got to the old Omnica factory, the worse things were getting. More bodies, for one thing, and after so much time in the hot sun, the smell of rot was getting stronger every time they delved into the city. He was starting to get used to it.

The buildings, soaring sky scrapers, apartments – and even the inner city district they were in – were starting to look more like charred ruins from the bombs that had been dropped on them. By the end of the second day, the Air Force had started the bombing runs on the factory and the city around it. The last Gabriel had heard, the death toll was somewhere around twenty thousand people, with another ten thousand missing. That was just what they knew about, but there would be more. A lot more.

"Jesus, here we go again,” Abbey mumbled beside him, stepping away from the Jeep with her partner George Parsons following after her.

George was good, he'd do his job, but still Gabriel glanced at Abbey as they made their way into the chaos. "Watch your back. Call us if you need us."

"Right back at you." No joking, which was always a bad sign with Abbey. She and George just vanished into the buildings to the west. He and Jack would take the east. They'd sweep out, meet another pair of soldiers, Yellow Team, at the edge of their quadrant, then sweep back and meet in the middle.

"She okay?" Jack asked, when he was sure the others were out of earshot.

"She had family here. Her brother and his kids," Gabriel said, even though he had a feeling the rookie probably knew that already. It wasn't like anyone could keep anything personal to their goddamn selves on the base. If he'd had his way, they wouldn't have put Abbey on the mission at all, but with so few of them the Colonel had shot down his suggestion. So had Abbey.

Jack at least had the decency not to say anything else on the subject, just nodded sadly and started heading out for their sweep. Three weeks of death and destruction and they hadn't actually _seen_ any Omnics. A lot of destroyed Bastions, a lot of bodies, but except for seeing a few on the horizon during the first few days of fighting, they hadn't seen any of the enemy. Probably had to do with the destroyed factory, but who could say for sure?

No one knew a damn thing about why the Omnics were killing them.

And so he and Jack walked through the empty city with the hot sun beating down on them, in their full combat gear, and they looked, and they found nothing. Just more death.

Gabriel felt for his partner, but there was nothing he could do to make it better. It had just turned out that Jack's first taste of real war had them in the middle of a Santa Fe residential district where the dead families and destroyed lives had been laid out for them to see. No different than Gabriel's first tour, in some ways. They were just dead American civilians this time around. He could tune it out.

They walked for maybe an hour before Jack spoke, quiet, but still shattering the silence that Gabriel was used to.

"I'd never been to a big city before... all this."

Gabriel sighed. He knew _should_ tell Jack to shut his stupid rookie mouth when they didn't know what they were dealing with, but instead he said, "They're not all this shitty."

It was hard not to think of his own crap-hole city and how much he missed it. He hadn't been back since his grandmother had gone and died on him. Even when he'd gotten the chance to go on leave he'd just... wandered instead. Better to stay with Abbey or the band.

"No it's..." Jack glanced at the bodies on the road. There had to be at least a hundred of them, some dead because of the Omnics, but some because of the measures the military taken to stop the advance. It was hard to tell with the bodies in so many pieces. "There are so many people here."

Gabriel thought back to what he'd heard Jack saying what felt like years ago on the couch. ' _Soon we'll be able to protect you_.' Goddamnit. Gabriel could see it in his face. He'd believed it. All the big propaganda bullshit that had been spun for him and fuck knew how many others like him. It was only going to get worse the further in they got.

He slowed down, letting Jack catch up so he could at least speak more quietly while he kept an eye on the bombed out area. "Come on ,Jackie. We've got to keep moving. We can't help them now." He may have grown up, and he may have filled out, but in the end Jack was still a baby on the battlefield.

A naive rookie with a good heart that was clearly breaking. This was not Gabriel's area of expertise, not when he'd learned how to ignore the emotions dead civilians drew out a long time ago. He didn't even know who he'd ask about how to deal with these feelings, because Abbey and George were just as bad as he was.

No, actually, in some ways they were worse.

"So, you fuck him yet?" Abbey had asked, not two days before. They'd been playing pool before it was their turn for their latest set of injections, them and George. Taking advantage of their only chance to relax before they'd go back into the city.

"You're deflecting." Gabriel told her, setting his cue down to watch George line up his shot.

"Yeah, because we're not talking about my brother right now. Everyone's talking about him, so I'm just... I'm not. I'm talking about your sex life. Or lack thereof," Abbey said, whistling as George sank three balls.

" _Jodí a tu madre ayer noche_." Gabriel said, rolling his eyes.

Abbey smiled and blew him a kiss. "Half of New York's done that, Gabe, you're not special," she said, while George stepped back to let her take her shot. "Georgie, tell Gabe he needs to get laid."

"Huh?" George said, glancing from Abbey to Gabriel before he nodded. "Right. Yeah, sure. Get laid." If he had been paying any attention at all, Gabriel would cut off his right hand. George was a good soldier, a better killer, but the art of conversation? Not his thing.

"Sex complicates things," Gabriel said, watching Abbey completely botch her shot. "You think someone should fuck the rookie, you do it."

"Oh yeah, can you imagine Juan's face when I tell him I'm sleeping with Jackie?" Abbey chuckled, standing back up.

Gabriel liked Abbey's husband, and he could absolutely picture Juan's face if she told him she'd had sex with an eighteen year old. It was so glorious that he almost told her he'd help her do it. Except it was his partner and Jack was...

"Oh, I see some jealousy, Gabe. Don't worry, we both know I'm not his type. I've seen how he looks at you," Abbey said, swatting Gabriel's shoulder with her pool cue. "So take your shot, Reyes."

"Heh. Nice." George chuckled. That he got the double entendre at all was sort of funny in itself.

"Sex complicates things," Gabriel reiterated, lining up his cue. "I'm not going to make a move when we could all die when they drop us again on Monday. We're getting closer to the factory, and half the teams have run into Bastions now." No one dead yet, but there had been some close calls.

Besides that, Jack was a mess, even if he was trying to hide it. All the rookies were. Hell, half the vets were too, and Abbey was the worst offender in that regard. Normally he wouldn't have worried, but the bots had made it personal for her, with her family missing. Gabriel wasn't going to let them make it personal for him too. Bad enough looking at Jack's sad blue eyes when he surveyed all the destruction around them, watching the way the hopefulness drained out of them.

Gabriel didn't know how he was supposed to make it better. It didn't _get_ better.

Abbey sighed, shaking her head as she watched Gabriel sink another one of the balls. "If we land tomorrow, and he dies, will not having slept with him make it easier?"

He was trying not to think about it. He shouldn't have said anything to her to begin with, except sooner or later she would have sussed things out. She always did. Telling her directly just meant she wouldn't say anything in front of Jack.

Gabriel hadn't had an answer for Abbey though – luckily, he hadn't needed one, because Weber had come for them, putting and end to that conversation. Instead he'd just felt sick, and Jack had brought him soup, and then gotten his injection, and they'd sat and just... watched. Gotten distracted with the recordings that Gabriel liked, and Jack tolerated (though he kept asking questions, and seemed to get cheered up when good things happened, which was better than nothing). They hadn't talked, just stayed together until Jack had fallen asleep on Gabriel's shoulder (during one of the better scenes too), and Gabriel had left him there, not wanting to admit how much he liked it.

Gabriel liked being alone, most of the time. Abbey, the band, his grandmother... those had been the only people he needed. Even his team, to a degree, but he kept most people at a distance. It was safer that way, because giving a shit inevitably led to disappointment.

Except this rookie, this boy scout farm boy, had gotten into his head. Gabriel had fallen asleep on the couch with him there and it had felt _right_. That wasn't good. He had enough to worry about, and enough people in his life that he wanted to keep alive. Chief among them was Abbey, who was too distracted by her missing family, and now star-eyed desperate Jack.

 _Naive idealists always break the hardest_.

What Gabriel needed to do was focus. This was ridiculous; superficial attraction and liking someone as a person didn't change certain basic facts. What Jack needed in his life was some sweet corn fed man or woman or whatever the hell else blond Prom Kings wound up hooking up with, so they could have cute little missionary style vanilla babies together. When Gabriel thought about taking Jack, it was all about _taking_ him, and that was a distraction he didn't need.

"Gabriel, do you hear that?" So distracted by what he didn't need that he hadn't been listening. As soon as Jack's voice dragged him back to the present though, yeah, Gabriel heard it. Gunfire, and short screams. Not any of their weapons, but the steady stream of turret fire.

Gabriel nodded. "Bastions – at least two of them." He pulled up his comm, whispering into it. "Red team, green team, yellow team, this is blue team. We have Omnic activity, potential civilians in the crossfire, sector Lima-5, please respond, over."

Jack was already moving away, and Gabriel had lost track of time. How close were the other teams?

"Jack, we need a response," Gabriel hissed, listening to his radio crackle with no answer.

"Gabe," Jack said, and Gabriel could see his hand shaking around his weapon, "that screaming sounds like kids."

Gabriel could hear _that_ too. The tone that almost sounded like laughing, little kids in summer – except a few decimals higher, and full of horror instead of joy.

"Jack, you stay here. We wait for backup," Gabriel said, an order, not a request, but Jack was already starting to move.

"Jack, you fucking-"

Jack broke into a run.

" _Hijo de puta_!"

He took off after Jack, but damn the boy could run, and Gabriel couldn't keep up. Already, he was losing sight of him, and he couldn't call out, couldn't scream with the rage that bubbled up over him. The fucking _idiot_.

"Red team, yellow team, _anyone_ , this is blue team!" he hissed, running as fast as he could reasonably go with his equipment. He couldn't fight the damn omnics out of breath. "We're engaged with the Bastions, please respond, over!"

There was no answer.

~~

He ran.

 _Someone's still alive_.

Jack would have given anything to go back to the dreams about being strapped to the table or about Gabriel. Any idle fantasy was better than what had happened to Santa Fe. Seeing it on the news was one thing but right in the heart of things he felt like he couldn't breathe.

He knew what burning human flesh smelt like now.

It was easy to follow the sounds of the Bastion's fire, but he'd run too damn, which meant that when he finally rounded the corner - around a sweet little yellow brick house and into a park - he had just enough time to spot three of the omnics before one turret spun around and opened fire on him.

Straight into enemy fire like the idiot rookie he was. When Gabriel caught up, he was going to kill Jack – if the Bastions didn't get him first.

Jack kept running past the turret fire, listening as it tore up the ground beneath his feet. He dove into the blown out window of the house across the street, skidding across the glass and feeling it spray across his uniform, slicing into his skin.

"Oh God,” someone said.

When Jack looked up, there was a woman huddled into the corner of the room, behind what was left of a couch, with a small child - boy or girl, Jack couldn't tell - huddled in her lap. The kid couldn't be older than six or seven, and the woman looked like hell, tears streaking down her eyes. She was skinny to the point of looking hollow. Probably from her two weeks of scavenging.

Jack lifted his finger to his lips, his heart pounding – before more bullets sprayed over their heads, slicing through the walls above them. The woman and the child screamed, and Jack crawled across the floor towards them, trying to stay low as the standing furniture in the room began to collapse. Bookshelves fell, family photos shattered, but Jack grabbed the woman and the child, pushing them down and collapsing over them, as though his Kevlar could somehow save them from the Bastions outside.

"Stay low,” he whispered. The turrets finally stopped, and he heard the clatter of empty shells hitting the pavement.

The woman trembled, clinging to the child in her arms. "There was... was a cop outside... helping some kids... please, please, help him please."

Jack nodded, not questioning it. _Of course I will._

"Reinforcements will be here soon. Stay down." It felt like someone else was saying it. Someone who sounded confident, who wasn't shaking, who was in control. Who Gabriel wasn't going to kick the shit out of when his slow ass caught up.

He didn't have time to be anyone except the man who was talking, or more people were going to die.

Grabbing a picture frame, Jack lobbed it further into the house. Turret fire ripped through the wall, tearing it to shreds before it even hit the ground, but that was all he needed to get back to the window and see where they were. Two Bastion turrets, one moving away from the house and into the park. It was probably after the cop and the kids.

He dropped his gun, letting the strap catch around his shoulders before he grabbed two grenades, lobbing them into the air. The action took just long enough for the tin cans to realize that they'd been aiming for the wrong target, spinning around to fire at him just as the Bastion closest to the house exploded.

Jack hit the floor again as turret fire blew through the support beam above him, collapsing the center of the house and leaving only a small gap around the window. He looked to the woman and her child, yelling to them. "Out the back! Go!" Then he was on the move again, out a side door as he took aim at the Bastion closest to him again. He had to be sure it was taken out, or it would repair itself. Jack been at the briefings, heard the warnings, and damned if he hadn't listened.

Except as soon as he dodged out from around the corner they were waiting for him, forcing him backwards almost instantly. He nearly slipped on the thick dust around the rapidly crumbling house, bullets tearing through the door frame around him. He felt something whiz by his back, and through it didn't hurt, the sudden feeling of cold air against his skin and wetness along his shirt told him he'd been hit.

 _Weird_ , he thought to himself dully. He'd thought it had hit him in the back, and it certainly felt that way, but the hole with the blood was showing above his hip, and blood was soaking his abdomen.

"Shit, _shit,_ " he mumbled, taking a deep breath. No time. He heard another sharp scream from outside, but this sounded more like a grown man. The cop, probably. No _time_.

"HEY!" Jack heard the voice and the explosion that followed it, and was flooded with a sense of relief. Gabriel. Even if Jack couldn't see him, he was there.

Jack pushed himself back up, getting to the doorway, trying to see where the spray of bullets was coming from as they flew towards the second floor of the house next to him. It only looked like one turret now, not two, so either Gabriel had managed to take out the one he had damaged, or two were focused on the civilians.

Lifting his comm, Jack took a deep breath, hoping that Gabriel would be able to hear him over the roar of turret fire. "Gabe, we have two civilians behind the house, and at least three on the other side of the Bastions. I'm going to try and get around them. See if you can draw their fire. Over." He forced himself to start moving. Pain was starting to spread over his back, but it couldn't be _that_ bad.

"Jack, don't you fucking _move_ until we have backup!" Gabriel's voice hissed over the comm, but Jack could barely hear him. Another round of turret fire cut off his movement through the house, sending him back to the floor as the ceiling collapsed over his last exit. He was sealed off from Gabriel, and he was guessing that the back door the woman had used was in the same condition.

That meant his choices were down to the small window, and he had a feeling the house wasn't going to be able to take much more abuse.

"Jack!?" Gabriel over the comms again. "Answer me, damnit!"

Jack lifted his head, dust falling in his eyes as he lifted his comm and smiled a little. "You're supposed to say 'over'. I'm going through the window, there's no other way out. Cover me. Over and out." He couldn't hear the cop screaming anymore. _No time_.

"Oh for fuck's-"

Whatever Gabriel had been planning on saying, Jack didn't hear. He went through the window, throwing his last grenade as soon as he spotted the still-standing turret, which had turned to fire at him as soon as he came out. The grenade hitting it at least delayed more bullets, but Jack felt at least one hit his Kevlar, and it nearly knocked him off his feet - might have, if he had been anyone other than a member of S.E.P. He wasn't sure what Gabriel did after that, but it must have been enough to keep the turret away from him since he didn't immediately die. That meant he could focus on the last Bastion, which turned to focus on him instead of its civilian prey.

It fired twice, and that time Jack felt the bullets as they lodged into his shoulder. But now he was ready. Raising his own assault rifle, he opened fire, sliding low as the slow Omnic struggled to catch up with his motions. Jack aimed low and took out its legs with a burst of fire. He could see them, then. Four children, huddled around the body of a man, still in uniform, who wasn't moving. None of them were older than thirteen.

Jack kept moving, dodging around the metal beast and firing, getting in close while it struggled to keep track of him, leg collapsing as it fired into the ground. Jack directed its fire as far away from the children as he could get it. As soon as he could step in, he switched his rifle to its rocket setting, shooting directly into the Bastion's head and taking it off.

He took a deep breath, his arms drooping as he slowed down. As he came to a stop, he could almost feel the adrenaline draining from his system, leaving him numb. The other turret wasn't firing, but he couldn't make his body turn to look at it. Pain kicked in and his knees started to shake. His chest was on fire, and everything felt wet from sweat and blood. His blood. Looking down, he'd been shot more than twice. How many times? He couldn't tell, but there were holes in him.

"Jack, get down!"

Gabriel's voice, but Jack couldn't turn to look at him as he realized the Bastion was still moving, turning its headless body as it started to transform, changing to its turret mode with the barrel of its gun pointed straight at his face.

 _This is how I die_.

He fell to his knees, finding he couldn't hold his gun upright. Couldn't even move his arms or feel his fingers.

 _Dear mom and dad_...

The last thing he heard before he hit the ground was the sound of a shotgun blast.

~~

From a distance, Justine Shaw glanced at her cameraman, breath catching in her throat as she watched the last Bastion go down. The swarm of children ran towards the fallen soldier, along with the woman she'd seen run into the house.

"Mike, please tell me you were filming that."

"Oh yeah." Mike looked up at her, eyes wide. "I got _everything_."

~~

The world felt distant, like he'd dreamed it. Yelling, he could hear yelling, and a woman's voice telling him everything would be okay, and he thought maybe saying a soft 'thank you', but he couldn't be sure exactly what she meant or who she was. Then there was nothing.

When he came to again, there was more yelling, and this time he knew the voice. Gabriel. Angrier than Jack had ever heard him, even with Nathan.

"You help him, or I blow your brains out, _no me jodas_!"

"You heard the man." That sounded like Abbey. "Oh sweetie, don't look at me. Do your fucking job. You swore an oath."

"I've been instructed that-"

"Either you both die, or you both live." That sounded like a safety clicking off. "One or the other, _pendejo_."

"Okay! Okay fine!" Then more darkness when something went over his mouth.

After that came the sound of helicopter blades, swooping overhead, and this time Jack could see a little, even feel something, though mostly he felt numb and distant. There was something over his mouth again, and something in his nose. He blinked, looking around, but he couldn't turn his head.

"His eyes are opening." That sounded like Maggie, if a more tired version of Maggie.

Gabriel's face came into view, a long open gash across his jaw, and his arm in a sling. Jack couldn't really tell if he looked pissed off or relieved. "Well, well, sleeping beauty awakes. You feel like shit, _cabron_?"

Jack tried to say something, but his eyes closed again, and he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

"He was lucky to have survived." The quiet, calculating voice of the Colonel.

"It was not luck that saved these men and women, Colonel-" He didn't know that voice though, a woman's, deep and rich, almost like a singer. He wished he were awake, he could have told her it was an incredible turn on. "-it was biology."

~~

Jack woke up in a dark room that wasn't his. He could see sunlight beneath his blinds, but when he tried to stand up his entire body lit up with pain, almost enough to knock him unconscious again, so instead he slid back into the bed with a groan. His mind felt fuzzy, like he was drunk, and as soon as he was still he felt numb.

Someone else stirred in the room, going to the blinds and slowly turning them, letting the light creep across Jack's bed. He blinked, trying to get a sense of where he was. Nothing seemed familiar until Gabriel spoke. "Sleeping beauty awakes, I see."

Jack felt like he had just heard Gabriel say that. Or had that been a dream? Probably not, it sounded like something his partner would say.

"Gabriel?" He mumbled, his voice cracking. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, you had a punctured lung, a broken collar bone, and a bullet went straight through your stomach." Gabriel said, sitting in a chair beside Jack. He sounded awfully nonchalant about the whole thing. "And while I was trying to save your stupid ass, I nearly got my face ripped off with the bonus of getting to know what it feels like to have a bullet in my elbow."

Jack's eyes widened in horror and he tried to sit up again, but once again pain flared through him and he couldn't move. He tried to push through it, but it felt like he was moving through molasses.

"Jesus I- but what about the civilians? The kids? They alright?" Jack asked, finally managing to sit up straight. Gabriel didn't help him, setting the mood with his inaction.

"One of the kids lost an arm, another one is still in the hospital. The other ones were fine, when last I heard. Except the cop, I guess," Gabriel said, almost casually, but Jack knew something was wrong. He could hear it in the other man's voice, like whenever he talked about-

-like whenever he talked about Nathan.

"Gabriel are you... mad at me?" Jack asked, trying not to look at himself. Out of the corner of the eye, he could see that he was covered in bandages, and his left arm was in a sling.

"And why would I be pissed at you? Could it be because you fucking ran off and expected me to play catch-up with you? Could it be because you didn't wait for backup? Or even think about a plan?" Gabriel leaned forward, looming over Jack, face set into a deep frown. "Or because you ran into an open field and I had to see you get riddled with bullets? Because I thought your moronic Prom King, Golden Boy ass was _dead_!" He sat back down, sucking in his breath and massaging his forehead. "Christ, Jack, you can't do shit like that. What do you think you are, invincible?"

Jack blinked. It hadn't occurred to him at the time. "No, I... that's not what I was... There wasn't any time, Gabriel. I could hear them dying." Even then, the cop had died. One kid had lost an arm. He could have stopped it. He should have just been faster. Been better. Been the person that he was _supposed_ to be.

"You can't save anyone if you're the one who's dead," Gabriel growled, sounding angrier now. "I don't give a shit about those civilians, they weren't even our fucking mission. Clearing the Bastions was!" He stood up, grabbing the collar of Jack's shirt. "How are you missing this? How do I jam it through your skull, _cabron_!? If you were anyone else, and you'd be dead! So would I!"

"But we're not anyone else!" Jack snapped back, forcing himself to sit up a little straighter, using his good arm to prop himself up. "If we have the chance to help someone who needs us, then we have to help them! What's the point of doing any of this if we don't?"

He hadn't actually expected Gabriel to hit him, and even though it wasn't hard, the slap across his cheek was enough to knock Jack back on the bed, leaving him dangling by Gabriel's grip on his shirt.

"Fucking _idiot,_ " Gabriel articulated, like somehow saying it in English might make Jack listen. "You know why it took so long for backup to get to us? Because Yellow Team was already dead."

Jack looked back at him, opening his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He didn't know who had been on Yellow Team, they hadn't been anyone from his group or Gabriel's but...

"We came across three Bastions? Well, they came across ten. What if that had been what you ran into, Jack? What you dragged _me_ into?" Gabriel demanded, grip tightening on Jack's shirt. "You don't ever pull this shit on me again. I don't care who's about to die, even if it's me. Don't take any chances out there."

Jack stared back at him, mouth dry and cheek stinging from where Gabriel had hit him, feeling a little dizzy from whatever drugs they'd given him. Still, something about his partner's voice and the pain he felt through the haze didn't make him feel as anxious as he might have normally been. He wasn't afraid, or even resigned. He felt like he was who he had been on the field, who had run after those kids and fought the Bastions without being afraid, for once. He felt sure.

"That worried for your dumb rookie, huh?" He smiled a little, and Gabriel was so close to him now that Jack could feel his breath on his face.

"Christ, how do I make you take this seriously?" Gabriel snapped, "Of course I worry about you! You're-"

Jack leaned in and kissed him, eyes half closed. Gabriel's lips tasted like honey, his scruffy beard scratched against Jack's face, and God, his lips were a little chapped but they were Gabriel's so it didn't matter. He was warm and electric and _alive_.

He was also stiff, his whole body stilling when Jack's lips touched his, cutting off whatever Gabriel had been about to call him. Probably something bad, but Jack liked when Gabriel called him names. Liked it when Gabriel gave him a hard time and just...

Oh God. He was kissing Gabriel.

"Sorry. I'm sorry I-" Jack said, pulling back, staring at Gabriel.  "Jesus I wasn't thinking. "

Gabriel let him go, stepping away. "I'll tell Weber you're not a vegetable," he said, turning away and heading to the door. Jack hadn't been able to catch his expression, and his voice was so deadpan he might as well have been the Colonel.

"Gabriel I'm _sorry_!" Jack cried, wishing he could go after him, but his body was being even less cooperative now.

Gabriel glanced over his shoulder at him, face hidden in shadow. "Go back to sleep, Jack."

He slammed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness of this, I had a crazy week (and also this chapter had a massive rewrite)! I want to again thank everyone who left me a comment or kudos or sent me a message on tumblr. You guys are the most charming and delightful readers I could ask for!
> 
> Questions? Comments? Discovery that I've completely botched the timeline? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> Translations: (I'll just be adding new stuff from now on, previous translations will be in the chapter notes where they first appear)
> 
> jodí a tu madre ayer noche - "I fucked your mother last night"  
> Hijo de puta - "Son of a bitch" or "Motherfucker"  
> No me jodas - "Don't fuck with me"
> 
> While I'm not saying this woman and her child are Ms. and Baby McCree, I am contractually obligated by my delightful Beta, Aisu to mention at some point they were called by that name.


	5. The End of Week Five, AKA Lessons in PR

****

"From Santa Fe, New Mexico, this is Justine Shaw."

"Thank you, Justine. The identities of the two soldiers are still unknown, but their heroic, nay, superheroic efforts have been-"

"That was three days ago," the Colonel said, hitting a button on his remote. "This was yesterday."

"And now, our latest exclusive. Two days ago, amidst the chaos of Santa Fe, the death toll rising by the thousand with every passing hour, we caught a glimmer of hope. Two soldiers were caught on camera risking their lives to save the few survivors they could. We still don't know if they survived this harrowing rescue, but now we know who they are."

Jack was rooted to the spot, clinging to the wheelchair with his good arm until he felt the metal starting to dent. As soon as they appeared on screen, he felt sick to his stomach. His parents. They looked alright, but his mom had been crying, her eyes puffy as she clung to a tissue and leaned against his father for support.

There was someone else there that Jack didn't recognize. He doubted it was Gabriel's brother - their faces were too different. A cousin, maybe? Except no, Gabriel had lived with his grandparents. Could still be a cousin? Maybe a friend? He would ask but...

God, Jack couldn't even look at Gabriel. He had already been sitting in the room and waiting when Dr. Okoye had brought Jack in. The other man hadn't so much as turned his head.

Then, Jack had watched himself get shot. It looked more heroic than stupid, which was nice to know. The way he had moved seemed more like it belonged in a superhero movie instead of on a real battlefield. It had felt natural when he'd been doing it, but he moved so quickly it was hard to focus on what he'd been doing, and even being shot hadn't impacted his movements. Jack also finally got to see what Gabriel had been doing, which involved tearing the head off the Bastion Jack had left for him. Then came the near fatal moment when the Bastion had almost shot him Jack. Yeah, from a distance, with the group of children running to them for help, and the woman bolting from behind the house to help wrap bandages around him, it _looked_ incredible.

Jack just _felt_ like a complete fucking idiot.

"-he's so brave," his mother was saying, starting to cry again. "The military won't tell us if he's alive or dead, but I know it's my Jack."

"If he were listening, if he could hear you right now, what would you want to say to him?" the news anchor asked.

She sniffed, looking at the camera, his father's fingers tightening around her shoulders like he could protect her. "Jack, I'm so proud of you. You saved those people and... and..." She let out a sob, pressing her hand to her mouth. "I love you so much. Please be alright!"

"We love you, son,” his father said, his voice shaky. Weirdly, it sort of reminded Jack of when he'd won the state championship for track.

The camera panned back to the news anchor, who had turned her attention to the other man in the room. "We've heard from the parents of John Morrison, but we also have here Juan Goldman. Mr. Goldman, what can you tell us about Gabriel Reyes?"

The name startled Jack a little. Goldman?

"Look, no one's in better hands than Gabi's," the man said, shifting in his chair, looking at the camera. "So listen, uh, if I can talk to the camera... I hope you're alright, because finding a new guitarist would be a real pain in the ass. And if Abbey's with you, please tell her I miss her-"

The Colonel paused the recording, folding his hands into his lap. "You do both understand the nature of 'Top Secret', or am I mistaken?"

"Sir, we-" Jack started, but Gabriel's voice cut him off.

"Sir, there was no way we could have known there was some reporter behind enemy lines. We were doing our job," Gabriel said, arms folding over his chest.

"Perhaps, but we were not prepared to field this... media storm. The people are desperate. They're looking for hope, and now it would seem they have two faces and two names to pin that on," the Colonel said, fingers tapping across his desk, almost as loudly as Dr. Okoye's note-taking. "A statement will have to be made. An explanation given for your strength and speed, and how either of you survived."

Jack glanced at Gabriel again, but the other man barely seemed to be breathing.

"Sir?" Jack asked, glancing back at the Colonel when he realized that the man didn't seem to be planning on saying anything else. Erikson was actually looking at Dr. Okoye, who set down her pen and adjusted her glasses.

"The situation is what it is," she said, her voice smooth as silk. Jack had never heard her talk before – or he thought he hadn't. But now that she was speaking, he realized he _had_ heard her, right when he was fading in and out of consciousness.

_It was not luck that saved these men and women, Colonel, it was biology._

Somehow he wouldn't have ascribed that sound to her. It was hard not to relax when she sounded like there should be a smooth jazz track playing in the background.

"The media has never been, and shall never be, easy to control," she said, setting her notepad down beside the pen on the table. "However, they can be manipulated. Instead of hiding from them, letting them see only bereaved parents and worried friends, I believe a more direct approach could be more... inspiring, for the American People." Delicately, she put her hands in her lap. "At least until the two of you have completely recovered and can return to the field. I think we should give the people what they want. A look at their heroes."

The Colonel listened to her, glancing towards Jack and Gabriel. "Well, doctor's orders. You're dismissed."

Jack blinked. "Wait that's... that's... sir?"

"The media wants a beacon of hope, and that's what we'll give them. So," the Colonel looked at Dr. Okoye, "any other preparations you'd like to make for now?"

"Only one thing," she replied, looking at the two soldiers over her glasses. "You ought to think about how you will look on camera, boys. Mr. Reyes, please escort Mr. Morrison back to his hospital room. We'll have to make some further arrangements."

Gabriel didn't say anything, only saluted. Jack did the same, before the wheelchair was swept out of the room.

Three days, and Gabriel hadn't said anything to him. Hadn't visited once. At least he looked better – his arm wasn't in a sling, and the wound on his cheek looked like it had healed over. Jack had experienced the accelerated healing as well, which he assumed had something to do with the serum. Already the wound to his abdomen had closed over, and he could move his arms, even though Dr. Weber had informed him that he still wasn't allowed to walk yet. Something about 'potential for relapse' that Jack hadn't really listened to, since he was so wrapped up in his own head.

He'd thought he put on a good face for Maggie and Claude, kept it together, made them laugh. Abbey and some of the other soldiers from Gabriel's team had come to check on him too. Since they'd eaten together so often, Jack supposed that meant they felt some kind of kinship. It had been hard to hide his disappointment when Gabriel hadn't been with them.

"I'll be able to get back out there with you guys soon." Jack had said, which made Abbey smile, but there had been something insincere about  her expression. Jack felt like he should have asked her about whether or not anyone had found her brother and his children, but it felt intrusive. Like no one should have told him about it in the first place.

When they'd all left, when he was sure he was alone, late at night, he'd cried. He couldn't get the bodies in the road out of his head, or the destroyed houses where everything had been fine only weeks before. Couldn't forget how, even trying his best, the cop had still died. There was nothing Jack could have done differently to save him, even though he had only been a few meters away.

"You can't save anyone if you're the one who's dead." Gabriel had been right, even if Jack didn't want to admit it. It was easier to cling to the children and the woman who he had saved. They would have all been dead if he had waited.

Or would they have been? If they had talked, worked out a plan, would they have been able to work together before the worst had happened, and avoided getting themselves shot? Or would that have been too late? God, he could have died. Hell, that he _should_ have died, but how was he supposed to be sorry when those people were still alive?

 _Most of them. Most of them are still alive_. And now, with so many Bastions still active, SEP had been pulled out of Santa Fe so that once again the bombs could be dropped. How many more people, hiding and afraid, would be dead now because of that? More people who he couldn't save.

With all that bouncing around in his head, Jack couldn't think of what to say to Gabriel. That he was sorry about the kiss, maybe? Or was it better to not bring it up at all?

"I can get back to the room myself," was what Jack wound up saying when the silence became too much to bear.

Gabriel snorted. "Maybe, but like the Colonel said, doctor's orders."

"I'm sure you have something else you'd rather be doing," Jack mumbled, staring at his lap. At least Gabriel wasn't mute, just... quiet. Just didn't have anything to say.

"Yeah, we finally got the next season of _Mi Amor,_ so I'm going to watch that."

That made Jack look back, oddly hurt. "What, you're going to watch it without me? Gabe, come on-!"

"Not such a deer in the headlights now. That's nice." Jack's eyes widened a little when he realized that Gabriel was smiling. "You looked like I was taking you out back to be shot."

Jack winced, looking down again. "Well, I mean I... I kind of thought you were mad at me."

Gabriel sighed. "I'm not talking about this in the hall." He pushed him forward, brushing past two soldiers that Jack didn't know well, who said their 'Hellos' and 'You're looking betters' before they went on their way and Gabriel kept pushing him towards his temporary room.

"We always talk in the hall," Jack said, looking forward again, because turning too much still hurt.

" _Dios mio._ " Gabriel sounded exasperated. "you're a real piece of work, boy scout. People call _me_ impatient."

"Only when someone's an idiot. Like me." Jack smiled, looking at his hands, but he was glad that Gabriel couldn't see his face. Yeah, he felt stupid, but he still didn't feel wrong.

Gabriel just sighed again, opening the door and pushing Jack inside. Once he'd shut it, he went to the window, opening the blinds to the - as it turned out - fake sunlight. "I'm mad at you. I don't hate you. There's a difference, believe it or not. Or has no one ever given you shit in your precious life?"

"No, I mean, yes people have, but it's..." Jack wheeled himself closer, the bed between him and Gabriel, "I got you shot, and then we kissed and then you didn't come around for a few days so I-"

"If you think that constituted a 'we kissed' and not a 'you kissed me', then we have very different definitions of what that means," Gabriel said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "I don't count what people do when they're high on morphine."

Jack didn't remember feeling very high on morphine, but he supposed that would explain why he'd felt numb, maybe? His drug experience was fairly close to 'none'.

"So I don't know if you were trying to distract me from being furious with you, or if you were just too out of it to really know what you were doing, but I also don't really care. My point is, yeah, you still did something stupid that could have gotten us both killed."

"I'm sorry-"

Gabriel cut him off again. "Don't say it if you don't mean it. Just know that next time, I'm letting your dumb ass die."

Jack blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Well, I meant about the kiss, but I'll keep that in mind next time."

Gabriel groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jack, don't let there _be_ a next time."

"Not like that. I promise. I won't just run off," Jack said, hoping he could keep to that. "I just mean that if there are innocent people in danger and I can save them... I can't walk away from that. Even if it means I might die."

Gabriel glanced him over. "Well, at least I know you practice what you preach. I don't know if that makes you stupid or brave, but it makes you something. They'll probably want you to play that up for the cameras."

"Right. Cameras." Jack stared off. "You really think they'll use us?"

"Why not? We're the heroes of the hour. Plus, your parents will look good crying over your poor little Prom King injuries," Gabriel said.

"Jesus." Jack muttered, leaning over and resting his head on the bed. "I never wanted to put them through this. I figured I'd just... at least they'll know I'm alive." He looked up, feeling Gabriel's weight as he sat on the bed across from him. "The other guy they had on there... They said his last name was Goldman."

"Yeah, he's Abbey's husband. It's his band, the mariachi one I play for," Gabriel said, staring at the fake window.

"I thought you said you met Abbey in basic?"

"I did. When we went on leave the first time I didn't have anywhere to go, so I wound up on her couch for most of it. Juan gave me something to do, since I could already play." Gabriel leaned back, making Jack slide closer to him without meaning to. "So now when I have time off, I go with her. Or if she's not there, Juan's still cool with it. He's a good guy."

"I just never really pictured what it'd... be like. Being married to her." Claude had said it, but Jack had tried not to put any stock in the rumor. Of course, he'd also tried to not put any stock in the apparent rumor that Gabriel was gay, and that had blown up in his face spectacularly, so he didn't know why he'd still shrugged it off.

"Well, the poor bastard always looks exhausted, so I'd imagine not much different than working with her." He smiled, and Jack did too.

"You love her, huh?" A stupid thing to say, and Jack wished he could take them back instantly from the sharp look Gabriel gave him, "No, I mean like... not romantic."

" _Como a una hermana_ ," Gabriel said, after a moment, nodding. Then, when Jack just stared at him blankly, he rolled his eyes. "Like a sister. I love her like a sister. An annoying sister with a mean right hook."

"You always brush things off like that," Jack said, propping himself up on his elbows. "Act like things don't matter when they do."

"Says you who avoids arguments by kissing unsuspecting victims."

Okay, that stung. "You care more than you pretend to," Jack said, not letting that drop.

Gabriel sighed. "What are you trying to get at here? Yeah, I give a shit about Abbey and Juan. They're my friends. I _have_ friends. I'm starting to wonder if _you_ have any, acting like this all the time."

"I have you." Jack smiled at him, feeling a little discouraged when Gabriel frowned at him.

"We're friends, are we?"

"I thought you said you weren't blaming me for things that happened on morphine?" Jack said, catching Gabriel's meaning.

"Doesn't mean I'm not still wondering what the thought process was. That kind of kiss is a lot less 'friendly' than what I'm used to," Gabriel said, looking at the wall again.

Jack blushed, glad he wasn't meeting Gabriel's eye just then, because he'd have had to look away. "Okay, look, it was dumb and... and unprofessional. And you _are_ my friend." He was pretty sure that if he wasn't, his attraction to Gabriel wouldn't have lasted longer than the first week. Jack had been friends with everyone he'd dated, and when he'd broken up with anyone, he'd always tried to do it gently. Explain it wasn't their fault, that something just wasn't working.

The only time someone had broken up with him, it had been the last time, before she'd gone off to college, and he could still see her smiling at him. " _You're fun, and I'll miss you, but I don't think I could be your dominatrix long term._ " Then she'd just laughed.

He wanted to hate her, on some level, but he didn't. If anything, Jack had wanted to thank her. Except now he was projecting a fun evening or two onto Gabriel when he didn't even know if Gabriel would be into... that.

"Fine, fine, we're friends. So, friend, you're what? Gay? Bi?" Gabriel raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. "Never mind, doesn't matter."

"No, it's fine... I don't mind," Jack said, standing weakly so he could move onto the bed. He nearly stumbled, but even backwards Gabriel caught his arm and helped him sit down. "I'm bi, I guess. Are you...?"

" _I'm_ none of your business."

"Wow, harsh, considering you _just_ asked." Jack glared, finally facing Gabriel now that the other man was holding his arm. God, he felt so warm. "Does it bother you? Or does... I mean it's one thing to _say_ something is fine, but is it actually?"

Gabriel sighed, his hand moving to pat Jack's shoulder. "It doesn't both me. I mean it, don't worry about it."

"So that I-?"

"Jack, leave it." That was sharper, and a lot more final, especially when Gabriel's fingers tightened on his shoulder. "Get some rest. I'm going to find out more about this big debut the Colonel has planned for us."

"Okay," Jack said, deciding he'd rather not press Gabriel further and piss him off, even though he hadn't gotten a single thing that he considered to be as a real answer. "My mom's going to cry. When she sees me like this." The realization struck him as strange. He'd seen it already on the recording, and he remembered her crying when he left, but it still felt wrong. He was alive now, but he could get shot again. He might not survive the next time. Would that make having seen him again better or worse for her?

"Your dad too, probably," Gabriel said, stopping at the door on his way out, "You can't control how other people feel. Just how you feel. So don't worry about it."

"You sure about that?" Jack didn't know what part of Gabriel's statement he was replying to, exactly, but Gabriel just smiled.

"Get some rest." This time, when he closed the door, it was soft.

~~

By comparison, Jack was fairly certain that, given the choice, he would have gone back and gotten shot again rather than going through with the big "event". He'd been interviewed for his high school newspaper a few times, and once by a local news station when he and some friends had managed to demolish a mountain bike when they'd attempted to drive it off the roof of his parent's barn, but being a national news story made him want to vomit.

They put him in a nice suit, military style, with a medal he'd apparently earned even though there hadn't been any kind of ceremony. Gabriel was given one to match. His arm was still in a sling while Gabriel's wasn't, even though Jack felt like he didn't need it anymore either. By the morning he was on the plane, he felt perfectly normal in the physical sense. His wounds had healed over and left pink scars that were already starting to look like old, faded wounds, just like the slightly darker scar on Gabriel's face that he couldn't stop looking at.

He'd fallen asleep on the plane. He'd dreamed about Tom, except he'd forgotten his face, so now he just looked like a shadow, standing beside the dead cop whose face he hadn't seen. They were both atop a mountain of bodies. He'd woken up with Gabriel's hand on his shoulder, though the other man had pulled away so quickly that for a moment Jack had thought he'd imagined it.

Maybe he had. He'd fallen asleep again so quickly that he couldn't say for certain.

When they landed, Jack felt unsettled. New York was the opposite of Santa Fe, and there was no getting around it. Skyscrapers still intact, busy people in the streets going about their lives, and worst of all were the smells from outside the taxi as they'd been taken to the hotel and then again when they were ferried over to the studio. It smelt like food (way better, Jack knew, than anything he'd eaten since he left home) and cars, and like everything _except_ dead bodies and antiseptic. The city was also overwhelmingly loud.

He supposed this was what Gabriel had meant when he'd said cities weren't all shitty. Except that made him think back to what was waiting for them when they healed. They'd be sent back into Santa Fe, with the bodies that would remind him of every person he couldn't save.

The hotel was baffling. When he'd sat down on the bed he'd just about slipped off its soft surface. The most comfortable thing he was used to was the couch in his room with Gabriel, and even that wasn't comfortable so much as familiar. He would have given anything to be there instead of in the surreal, giant room by himself. Obviously no expense had been spared, and he didn't like it.

He flicked on the monitor and listened for a while, but it was all about Santa Fe, and how they might drop a Titan on it. When he changed to another channel they were playing the video of him and Gabriel again. He had to turn it off.

When it came time to leave the hotel, be shuffled into another taxi and watched out the window as civilians went about their lives. Still, he almost felt relieved. He was with Gabriel again, not alone in his hotel room, and the military PR person whose name was possibly... Diamantopoulos? Jack hadn't been listening properly, but it sounded long and potentially Greek. On a better day, Jack might have found the older man attractive, but he felt too tired to focus.

They were given a long list of do's and don'ts for the interview. "Don't give any details about the program. Don't disclose the names of any soldiers. Don't discuss strategy. Don't discuss your enhancements. Do discuss how you feel, what you've seen, talk about the good you've done and the people you've helped. Talk about working together, talk about-"

Jack had no idea how he was supposed to remember everything. The list was exhaustive.

Three cups of coffee and some time in a makeup chair later, he just felt numb. He was waiting in the wings with Gabriel, staring at his parent's faces as they talked with Juan Goldman, the anchor, and the military PR guy whose name Jack had managed to miss a second time.

"Remember to breathe," Gabriel told him, sounding as calm as always, though he did look a bit wary.

"Now I know there has been a lot of talk about the two soldiers who were involved in this," the PR guy was saying, "I know the three of you are worried about your loved ones and so-"

"I'll breathe if you do all the talking." Jack smiled a little, watching his parents. His mother's sharp intake of breath when she guessed what was coming, his father's bafflement because he hadn't put it together yet. They didn't belong in this studio with the lights and the makeup and the darkness all around them. He didn't want this to be how he remembered them.

When he'd had the Bastion staring him down, about to blow his brains out, he'd thought about them on the farm in the sun. When he wrote them all the stupid letters in his head that he couldn't send, they'd be at the kitchen table, laughing or shaking their heads. He hated this.

"-we would like everyone to meet the heroes of the hour-"

"You're doing all the talking, rookie," Gabriel said, stepping out with Jack hot on his heels.

Nothing he was thinking about mattered when his mom hugged him.

Even though he doesn't want to tell her about a single thing he's seen, not the bodies, not the pain, none of that, just having her hold him drained the feelings of doubt and anxiety that had plagued him ever since he had set foot on a real battlefield. She was _safe_. Even his father grabbed him, hugging him close, and to Jack's surprise, he was taller than his father now. He had gotten so used to being around Gabriel and the other soldiers that his father's 5'9” seemed a little on the small side. Jack was always used to being the smaller of the two of them, and his father seemed to notice it too, though he didn't say anything. His eyes were full of tears, and Jack hugged him, trying to ignore the echoing clapping of the live studio audience around them. He wished this could be private, somehow. That he could get away from all the other people, have it just be him and his parents.

Gabriel hugged his friend, the two of them locking together, saying something in Spanish that Jack wouldn't have understood even if he could have made out the exact words. Both the men looked uncomfortable, and even though Gabriel was smiling, he kept glancing at the crowd like they might turn on him at any second.

When they finally sat down, Jack holding his mother's hand, he realized that Gabriel had also not been kidding about him doing all the talking.

"Now, the two of you have obviously been through a lot. Not just what we saw before, but with everything that's been happening in Santa Fe, and everything we've heard about the Soldier Enhancement Program. What's it been like out there?"

"Well it's..." Jack glanced at Gabriel for support, but he just shrugged. "I'm not going to lie, it's hard. Seeing our people, our citizens getting hurt, dying... we have to do something. We have to protect them. When guys like Gabriel and I signed on for this... we knew it would be dangerous --" That drew a sharp glare from the PR guy -- "but with everything that's happening, people have to step up. We have to protect each other."

There was some clapping from the audience. Jack couldn't really make out what they looked like with the bright lights in his eyes.

"You've sacrificed a lot."

"It doesn't feel like a sacrifice," Jack said, smiling a little. "We're doing doing what anyone would do." Gabriel was probably going to kill him for that.

"Would you agree with that?" That time, directed at Gabriel.

Gabriel shifted, shrugging. "Sure."

"Well, you were the hero of the hour. Mr. Morrison here would be dead without you."

Gabriel folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah."

"I would be, that's true. I couldn't ask for a better partner," Jack said, watching as Gabriel glanced suspiciously at the cameras and the crowd. "This whole program, acting like a team, being partners, it doesn't work if we don't trust each other completely. Gabriel saved me, and he's had my back from the second I joined. With everything that's happening right now, we need to have that. Trust." He glanced at Gabriel, smiling and doing his best to convey everything he felt. The one nice thing was that with everyone watching Gabriel couldn't walk out or start giving him shit.  "When we're all there for each other, like Gabe was there for me... well, I think we all have a chance to save each other."

~~

Dinner was more surreal than anything else on the trip, up to and including seeing himself on a re-run of the interview above the bar. Yet there he was, his parents, Gabriel, Juan and their PR guy, all sitting together with half the restaurant giving them a look. Even if the interview wasn't what was giving them away, he and Gabriel stood out. Looking at their reflection in the mirror, they were tall, sharp, muscular, and in their uniforms they were extremely well dressed.

It suddenly occurred to him that he looked nothing like himself. How had his parents even recognized him?

"Jack, I'm proud of you, you know I'm proud of you," his mother was saying quietly while Gabriel and Juan talked to each other in Spanish and the PR guy talked to his father, "but you said that you were coming home after your tour."

He had. He'd said he'd see the world, get to know what was out there, then come home and settle down and live a quiet life on a farm just like his parents had. That had been before the Omnics had started attacking people. Suddenly all of that had felt like it didn't mean anything anymore. With everything that was going on, he wasn't sure he _could_ go back.

"I know. But mom, you've seen what's happening. I can't hide on the farm," Jack said quietly, fiddling with his fork and looking at his empty dinner plate. When was the last time he had eaten anything that good?

"John, please, you were shot," his mom whispered, taking his hand again. God, she was so soft. "I nearly watched you die on television. And look at you now. You don't even look..." She shook her head, reaching up and touching his cheek. "What if they never let you go now? Whatever they've done to you, what if it's-"

"Mom, come on." Jack smiled, wrapping his arm around her, afraid of being overheard, "I know it's a lot to take in and..." _And I might never come home_ , "and that you're worried, and I'm not saying to not be worried. I'm scared out of my mind half the time. But I meant what I said. Gabriel's my partner, he has my back." _I feel like I can do anything when he's with me_. "You saw. He'll protect me when I do something stupid."

"Talking about me, Jackie?" Gabriel leaned in beside him, obviously distracted from his conversation with Juan by the mention of his name.

Jack was relieved when his mom smiled, reaching across him and putting her hand on Gabriel's. "He was just telling me what a wonderful partner you are. Thank you so much, Mister-"

"You can call me Gabriel, Ms. Morrison." Gabriel said, and Jack hoped his mother didn't see Juan roll his eyes at Gabriel's obvious 'talking to a friend's mother' voice.

"Oh, you're sweet," she said, squeezing his fingers, "You'll keep looking after him, won't you?"

"Mom, come on, don't embarrass me,” Jack mumbled, blushing and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, I'm your mother, I'm allowed this much,” she teased, patting his shoulder with her free hand – but she didn't take her eyes off of Gabriel. "Please, Gabriel. Keep an eye on him?"

"Tell you what, I'll keep an eye on him if I can invoke your name if he misbehaves." Gabriel smirked, glancing at Jack.

His mother laughed, nodding. "I guess I can't say no to that. Remind him that I'll have his hide if he doesn't do what he's told," she said, looking back at Jack and smiling. "I'll give him my number so he can call me and I'll give you an earful."

"Mom, we don't even have a phone."

"Then he can send me a psychic signal. A mother always knows."

Gabriel chuckled. "Hope you heard that, rookie. Better listen to me from now on, or I'm calling your mother."

Now that was a mildly disturbing prospect.

~~

Dessert, coffee, hugs, and some tears later, the time came for them to part ways. Jack hugged his parents goodbye, while Gabriel embraced Juan again. He was still speaking to him in Spanish, which seemed to annoy their PR guy to no end since he couldn't monitor their conversation like he had been with Jack.

"For now," the PR guy outlined the rules for them, "the two of you will remain in your hotel rooms. Some reporters have been snooping around since the interview, and you're not allowed to talk to them without me, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"We're on a plane at six o'clock tomorrow morning," he said, pulling up his phone and checking his messages. "Dr. Okoye said to remind you that if you both pass your checkup, you'll be due for your injections this weekend to keep with the schedule. Get some sleep tonight, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

Then they were shoved in an elevator and left to their own devices. Looking at the digital clock in the hallway outside their rooms, it was ten o'clock. Later than Jack had stayed up for a while, unless he counted when he couldn't sleep at all because of nightmares or feeling shitty from the injections. He wondered, idly, what it would be like to sleep on the cushy hotel bed instead of the crappy ones he was used to from their rooms.

"This feels weird," he finally said when they reached his door.

"Which part?" Gabriel asked, leaning up against the wall as Jack fumbled with his key.

"All of it. The city, the interview, seeing my parents, it's... isn't it weird?" Jack asked, watching his door swing open.

Gabriel nodded, crossing his arms and tapping his bicep. "Want to go somewhere?"

Jack blinked. "Go...?"

"It's Juan's birthday, and I want to talk to him without being babysat by someone I could probably bench press. And you look like you need a drink," Gabriel said, smirking. "I'm buying."

"You mean sneak out?" Jack asked, hand completely on his doorknob. He laughed. "You know I'm under-aged. What am I going to tell my mom about what a horrible influence you're becoming?"

"God, don't remind me you can't drink." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's make a night of this terrible week. I promise it'll be even more fun than cow-tipping, or whatever the fuck you do in the middle of nowhere."

Jack bit his lip, wondering how many rules they were going to break. Which also made him realize that he'd already made up his mind. Gabriel was asking him to go out somewhere for drinks. He'd already nearly died, so why the fuck not?

"Okay, let's do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Dios Mio: My God
> 
> Okay so I promised this chapter would be fun but then it wound up being longer than I intended, so fun will be the next update.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Complaints? Want to know Jack's actual height pre-serum? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks again for Aisu for their edits!
> 
> AND THANK YOU. You guys continue to be delightful fans, and I'm sorry if I haven't replied to each and every one of you. It isn't because I don't adore you, I do!


	6. The Night Of

He heard the music from four blocks away.

"Be quiet," Gabriel had chuckled when they snuck down the fire escape of the hotel, having shed their jackets so as to look relatively normal in their dress pants and pressed shirts. They'd met Juan around the corner, waiting in an old beaten car.

He'd grinned when he stuck his head out, waving them over. "You two look conspicuous as fuck, _tonto_."

" _Vete al infierno,_ " Gabriel had said, flipping Juan off and opening the door for Jack, "Get in, and try not to look so..." He stared at Jack for a moment, searching for an insult, probably.

"White?" Jack supplied, grinning as he hopped in the back of the car.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, but he laughed again, seeming in high spirits. "I was going to say like you just walked out of a teen drama, but you don't look so much like a teenager anymore, eh Prom King?" He swung the door closed.

"What, missing my boyish charms?" Jack asked, elbowing him, almost as a test. Just to see how much Gabriel had _actually_ forgiven him.

"Nah, then I might have forgotten how very _shot_ you got me. Don't let his camera face fool you, Juan. He's trouble," Gabriel said, climbing into the front seat as Juan pulled into the street, speeding them on their way.

It also meant that Jack got to stare at Gabriel's ass for a few seconds while neither he, nor Juan, could see him do it.

"Please, you've met my wife. You want trouble? There's trouble," Juan said, clapping Gabriel's shoulder, "Thanks again for..." He glanced at Jack, eyes narrowing a little.

"He's fine." Gabriel looked back over his shoulder as he settled in his seat. "Or you planning on turning me in for letting a man know his wife's alive?"

"What, me?" Jack shook his head furiously. "No way. I wouldn't do that, Abbey's great. And uh... happy birthday, Mr. Goldman."

"Juan." Juan said, waving his hand absently. "You ever been to a Block Party?"

Gabriel snorted. "Boy lived on a farm. Did you see his parents?"

"We tailgated. But uh... no, my town was way too small to have a block party," Jack said, smiling and trying to measure the mood of the car. "You're a big enough deal for the whole block to come out for you?"

"What, did Gabi not tell you?" Juan asked, tearing down the street in what Jack could only imagine was _far_ above the speed limit for a city road. "We have a reputation."

"We?"

"The _band_!" Juan laughed/ "If this guy here could get pulled off his high horse with Abbey, we could have a pretty sweet deal here. But no, tough military man wants a stable paycheck. Not my style. I can really pick 'em, eh?"

That was when Jack started to hear the music.

The lights stretched out for what felt like miles, almost like someone had lit the entire street on fire, which briefly brought about a flash of Santa Fe, but the smiling people and the singing brought him back. There was also a DJ, he realized, complete with a makeshift stage and speakers set up on fire escapes. It looked like it belonged in a movie, or a musical, not something that happened in real life, beautiful and fierce and _alive_.

"Abbey's going to be so pissed she missed this," Gabriel said, sounding almost wistful as he stepped out of the car.

"Yeah, well, that's what she gets for abandoning me. You only get to do this because you got shot and I feel sorry for you." Juan scowled, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "Well, and I'm making you play tonight."

"Why do I have to-?"

"His guitar is here?" Jack cut in before Gabriel could get another word in edgewise.

"Two against one then, you've lost this election." Juan grinned, waving them forward. "Come on, boys, I'm not missing my own birthday."

Strangely, being in the crowd itself bothered Jack a lot less than when he had been in the taxi earlier. They were all laughing, happy, swaying to the music, singing along. Most were saying hello to Juan, though some recognized Gabriel and clapped him on the back. A few even recognized Jack from the interview, which earned him no less than two hugs and five handshakes as they made their way towards the stage area of the party. It was a lot like being at a football game back home after a big win, he realized. When they finally made it through the crowd six people were waiting for them, three of whom put drinks in the new arrival's hands. They all had instruments. The band.

"To Juan, for making it another year! To Gabi, for not being dead!" One of them shouted in English, while another followed up in Spanish. "And for this one too," another clap on the back, "for being one crazy-ass white boy!"

Everyone around them cheered and whistled before they lifted their drinks and downed them. Jack did the same, worried that he'd have a coughing fit because no one had told him what was in the glass, but it didn't burn as badly as the whiskey he'd stolen from his dad when he was fourteen, and wasn't as heavy as the beer he'd been allowed to drink the night before he'd left for Basic.

Gabriel glanced at him and took his glass, setting it on the stage. "Go get us some more. I have to make sure this _puto_ didn't mess up the tuning. Try not to get yourself into any trouble, okay?"

"I'm sure I can manage." Jack grinned back, glancing over the band. "Do you guys like... have an order or-?"

"They'll know. Just say you're doing it for the band and get something for yourself. Oh, and if she offers you _basura_ tell her we're not cleaning it up," Juan said as he hopped up on the stage and offered his hand to Gabriel. " _Uy, que care-chimba_ , come on."

Gabriel glanced at Jack one more time. "Seriously, behave. I told your mom I'd keep an eye on you, and she looks like she can throw a punch." Then he took Juan's hand and let himself be pulled up, though it actually wound up taking Juan and a trumpet player to do it.

Jack grinned, feeling excited as he headed to the bar. Fighting through the dancing crowd on his own was a lot harder than doing it with Juan and Gabriel, who clearly everyone knew. Being taller than he had been helped, and stronger, but people kept stopping him on the way. Sometimes they spoke to him in Spanish, and sometimes they said things he just flat out couldn't hear over the loud music, but in what he could make out the same sentiment showed through.

"Hero!" That was the one word he kept making out. It filled him with a sense of delight he hadn't felt for a long time now. Made him think about the kids and the woman – and, distantly, the cop he hadn't been able to save - and even further in the back of his mind, what his mother had been saying. He had thought all through Basic, right up until he'd signed the papers to join SEP, that he could just go home after everything with the Omnics was dealt with, but could he now? Gabriel wouldn't, he was a senior officer, this was life for him, and then...

" _What if they never let you go now_?" Now that he was away from his mother, that question really sat with him. With all the time and money the military had spent on the others, would they let him go?

"What are you drinking, hero?" the bartender asked, catching Jack off guard as he finally arrived at the makeshift bar. She flashed a flirty smile at him, leaning in on her elbow and winking. "I saw you on TV. It's on the house."

"Oh, uh, thanks." Jack smiled back, feeling himself blush. "I was getting some drinks for the band though - they said you'd know their order?"

"Oh yeah, bunch of alcoholics!" She laughed, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder, going to get the drinks. "And for you, _mi sol_?"

"Um, Juan said anything but _basura_?"

She scoffed, rolling her eyes, "You tell him from me that he can rip off his own penis and stick it up his ass." She emphasized it in English, which gave Jack the feeling that he'd butchered whatever the hell "basura" was. "Tell you what, I'll make you my special!" She continued to go about her business.

The music went quiet then, and the man who'd made the toast earlier took a microphone, tapping on it to get the crowd's attention. "We want to thank everyone for coming out tonight to celebrate Juan's big twenty-five!" There was scattered applause and cheering from the crowd. "He's done a lot for our community, so I'm happy to see so many familiar faces from the community centre. I also see a lot of people from our gigs, who clearly don't give a crap about the community and just want to hear some music!" That caused a thunder of applause, which made a lot of the band laugh into their microphones. "Okay, okay, settle down you degenerates. We also want to thank Gabriel, for taking time out of his busy schedule fighting for our country-"

"AND KICKING SOME OMNIC ASS!" someone screamed, which brought on more applause.

"-and that too. Louis, go to bed!" The man chuckled, holding up his trumpet. "The gang's all together now. This first one is for Juan's wife Abbey, who can't be with us tonight. Send her your prayers, and for her family in Santa Fe. This is _Malagueña Salerosa_!"

The music started up, Juan taking the microphone to sing amongst cheers and the flood of people who began to tear away from the bar area and start to dance again. That wasn't who Jack watched though, feeling his eyes drawn back to Gabriel. More Gabriel's fingers, if anything, as they strummed his acoustic guitar, almost too fast for Jack to follow. He could feel his heart rate picking up, and without realizing he was doing it he swayed back and forth, holding his breath.

God, Gabriel looked... beautiful felt like the wrong word, but it was the only one that came to mind. In his clean white shirt, the different lines of Christmas lights dancing off his skin, eyes half closed as he swayed to the music, surrounded by his friends and people who knew him - he just looked comfortable. The total opposite of who he had been earlier in the TV studio. The little half smile on his face reminded Jack of their couch back on the base, where they'd sit and watch terrible shows, or just talk, even if it was only to bitch at each other.

Jack's eyes followed Gabriel's mouth, which seemed to be mumbling the words, even if he didn't sing along. Hard not to think about kissing him, even though his life would be easier if he stopped. The way he'd tasted, the feel of his chapped lips (they looked softer now) against his, it was all too easy to get lost in. Jack wished he had done more, or done nothing, or somehow managed to convince him to stay but...

"They're good, right?" The bartender smiled, setting down a tray of drinks and handing Jack a shot.

"Wha-? Oh, yeah they're great." Jack smiled, taking the shot and looking at it. "What's in this?"

"Tequila. And something secret." She grinned, winking at him.

Jack smiled back, raising the glass and downing it. Oh yeah, that one burned a _hell_ of a lot, making him cough. "Jesus, what the hell is your secret? Motor oil?"

She laughed, handing him another drink. "This one's just gin and tonic, you'll be fine. Want some help bringing these to the stage, lover boy?"

Jack managed a smile, taking his eyes off Gabriel for the time being. "Thanks."

 _Keep that shit on lockdown_. Yeah, not fucking likely now.

~~

"You know what you are? You and her're selfish. That's what." Juan was incredibly drunk, but it was his birthday, so Gabriel didn't mind. The only thing that actually surprised him was that _he_ wasn't. He'd been keeping track, and after seven shots of tequila and whatever the hell else Marisol had been adding to his drinks, he should have been hammered. Right now, there was barely a buzz.

"Uh-huh," Gabriel said, nursing a beer, keeping an eye on Jack. He'd strayed off once or twice during the songs they'd been playing, mostly dragged into the crowd to dance, because who fucking wouldn't want to try and grind up on the Prom King? Gabriel was smirking, though, because one physical activity the rookie hadn't mastered was dancing, especially not with this crowd and with _his_ music. Even if the DJ had taken over for the increasingly plastered band, it was probably different than what the rookie was used to.

Still, watching Jack's hips sway as he tried to dance, seeing him move and laugh and smile... distracting. _Really_ distracting when he hadn't played a guitar for what? Five months? Nothing felt as automatic as it usually did, and he'd missed a few notes.

"Wander off and fuckin' leave me here, to what?" Juan gestured around, nearly spilling his drink on himself. "Didn' even fuckin' ask me man, didn' even fuckin' ask." He pointed, all accusations and bluster, slurring back and forth between Spanish and English.

Gabriel let him rant, his attention still on Jack. His stupid rookie who had no right to scare the shit out of him like he had and then... _talk_ about him like that in front of everyone. If he could have strangled Jack, he would have. How the fuck had he managed to be roped into the PR circus at all? Worse still, they had dragged Juan into it, which meant that Gabriel was the one who had to tell him about Abbey instead of her dealing with it her own damn self.

Gabriel ran his thumb across his lip, but of course the taste of Jack's lips was long gone. Christ, he'd been terrified, holding Jack, covered in his partner's blood, pain feeling dull and far away. _If he doesn't die, I'll kill him_. Scared the shit out of him, that's what the stupid slice of white bread had managed to do. And then...

He bit down into his thumb, glad to see that Jack's latest distraction were a group of kids who were up past their bed time, and had somehow convinced him to start dead-lifting them. Gabriel was less impressed with the group of young women who were cheering and clapping as he did it, and the idiot was smiling, a bit red, probably a little drunk, but not nearly as drunk as he should have been with what Marisol was giving him to drink. Jack and his adoring public, which Gabriel hated to admit suited him.

Gabriel didn't want anything to do with civilians, if he could avoid them. That wasn't his kind of game. A bunch of people clapping and cheering and rewarding what was, in the long run, bad behavior that would get more people killed. Civilians were fickle. They'd forget all the good they'd done the second there was something bad to pin on them. It happened all the time.

Though, and the thought made him smile, the _adoring_ public was the only reason they probably hadn't been tossed out on their asses for the stupid stunt. Might as well milk it while they could.

And Jack looked so happy...

"You know, I can leave man, if you're just going to be somewhere else," Juan said, poking Gabriel's shoulder and spilling some of his drink on his shirt in the process. God, he hadn't looked this drunk since his wedding. "I don't get to... to see you for like... months, and now you're being all..."

He wobbled, and Gabriel caught him, sighing. "You need to sit down."

" _You_ need to sit down," Juan said, but he at least let Gabriel set him on the nearest chair. "Don't let me stop you if you've got someone better to do."

"You and your fucking wife, man." Gabriel sighed.

"You've been staring at him all day. And all those lines about trusting you and whatever? Come on man, go and do your... whatever the hell it is you do." Juan waved him off. "But you're a shitty friend, I hope you know that."

Gabriel patted Juan's shoulder, dismissive. "You're just saying that because I'm not holding your hair back when you puke."

" _Abbey_ would hold my hair back when I puke."

"Yeah, and that's why you're married to her and not to me."

"I'm married to her and not you because she has a vagina and you have a bad attitude." Juan said, downing the last of his drink. "Or 'cause she's fun and you have a penis... maybe not in that order... I don't know, man."

Gabriel smiled and took the drink away from him. "I'm telling Marisol that you're only allowed to have water for the rest of the night. _That's_ what a good friend I am. Sit until the room stops spinning, I'll be back."

"You deserve to be happy," Juan slurred, pointing accusingly. "You'n her, you're t'same. Pret'n to be untouchable like you're so... s'damn tough. It'll drive y'crazy, man."

"You're having a lot of trouble staying coherent, fuckhead," Gabriel said, sighing. Everybody just had to be in his business, didn't they?

"You're the fuckhead. Fuckhead. But never say I didn't do anything for you, have a birthday present on the house." Juan pushed something into Gabriel's hand, grinning before he doubled over and puked.

Gabriel shook his head, flagging down Marisol. She walked over, looked at Juan, and sighed so loudly that Gabriel could hear her over the music.

"He ought to follow his own advice. I'll get him back to his room." She smiled, patting Gabriel's shoulder. "We miss you around here, Gabi. Things aren't the same without big brother." She kissed his cheek. "And big sister too. Tell Abbey we're all praying for her brother and his kids."

"They're like her, tough, they'll turn up." Or at least Gabriel hoped they would.

Marisol smiled and kissed his other cheek, waving as Gabriel headed on his way, the rest of the band descending to get Juan to his room. Gabriel had done it enough times, so someone else could on his night off.

He opened his palm to get a look at what Juan had handed him. A packet of lube and a condom. Of _fucking_ course. He sighed, half tempted to just throw them in the nearest garbage can, but instead he found himself putting the party favors in his pocket. At least Juan probably wouldn't remember any of their conversation, which meant he wouldn't have to deal with any 'I told you so's.

Jack caught his eye again, swinging one of the kids around, and Gabriel headed in that direction. The kids didn't bother Gabriel so much, Jack obviously liked them, but the younger men and women who were like horny sharks was something else. Not that Jack would be interested. Not after the kiss.

 _Except that you blew him off, a_ little voice reminded him, which Gabriel decided to ignore.

"Spending the rest of the night with a bunch of kids?" Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at the small group that had managed to congregate around his partner.

"Oh-!" Jack managed to slow his spinning, setting down the boy, probably about ten, who stumbled and fell over into his friends. "Hey, yeah, sorry my dancing is garbage next to everyone around here." He laughed, swaying a little to catch his balance, while the kid nearly fell over. "And you were busy."

"Beat it," Gabriel said in Spanish, which made the kids' eyes go wide, and they all scattered fast. Good, they still remembered enough to listen to him.

"Aw, come on Gabe, you didn't have to scare them off. They think you're cool," Jack said, seeming to not notice that his group of more age-appropriate admirers were starting to move away with Gabriel there.

"Uh-huh, I live for the twelve year olds who think I'm cool." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"They want your action figure." Jack grinned, following Gabriel as he made his way back in the general direction of the bar. "I was trying to convince them that I'd be a better one."

"Yeah, I'm sure you giving a bunch of children a drunk sermon about how damn _awesome_ you are made you really popular," Gabriel said, skirting the edge of the still dancing - and drinking - crowd.

"You know something weird? I don't actually _feel_ very drunk. I mean kind of tipsy because whatever the hell the bartender was putting in those drinks was like, _woah_ ,” Jack said, echoing Gabriel's earlier thoughts. "You want to dance?"

"I learned how to play guitar because it meant no one would ever ask me to dance."

"Well, then you should have kept playing." Jack chuckled. "You were right. You guys are good. If we have to do another interview, you should bring your instruments instead of talking."

"You saying something about my interview skills?" Gabriel had to fight to keep a straight face, because catching Jack like that made him turn as red as a tomato.

"Oh, come on, that was painful to watch. It's like pulling teeth to make you talk sometimes." God, he was so flustered he wasn't even paying attention to  the fact that Gabriel was moving further away from the crowd.

Gabriel shrugged/ "You can play at being everyone's favorite toy soldier if you want. I'm not going to roll over and beg for treats."

"You're mixing your metaphors," Jack said, slowing to a stop, leaning up against the nearest wall. "Does it bug you that much? I mean it thought it might have been the crowd or something, but up there you were fine." He nodded towards the stage.

Gabriel crossed his arms, squaring off with him. Why did the kid have to be so damn _hopeful_? "Can you really not tell the difference?"

"Difference?"

"These people, yeah, they want something from you, but that's just music. It's fun." Gabriel gestured over his shoulder at the crowd. "But those interviews? That bullshit PR stunt? You're feeding people a lie." Jack started to protest, but Gabriel shook his head. "That's fine, it's what they want right now. But sooner or later they'll want a scapegoat. People decide they don't like a band anymore, whatever, they stop listening. They decide they don't like what their heroes are saying? They'll crucify you. I don't want anything to do with that." _You shouldn't either_.

"So what do you want?" Jack asked, all earnest-eyed and genuine. God, there were too many answers for that. "Not attention, not approval, not to be a hero and not m- not for people to _like_ you." Well, that was a half-assed save if Gabriel had ever heard one.

"What do you think? To take over the world." Gabriel smirked, and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Be serious."

"Who says I'm not?"

"You're an asshole," Jack said, staring down and shaking his head, "Every time I think I've figured out something about you, you just..." He trailed off, closing his eyes, shoulders slumping. Pouting, Gabriel thought idly.

He reached out, taking Jack's chin in his fingers and lifting his head. He looked good, these days. No wonder the cameras loved him so much. The hair, the cheekbones, the shoulders, and in the glow of re-purposed Christmas lights, his eyes were just the right shade of blue. The right shade of blue, staring up at Gabriel like he'd just ascended from heaven.

A little ray of hope in all the bullshit.

"I just what?" Gabriel asked, running his thumb along Jack's jaw until it brushed along his bottom lip.

"Don't tease me." Jack said, starting to pull away, uncertainty painting his face. "You already made it pretty clear that you-"

Gabriel stepped inward, forcing Jack to take a step back to slide along the wall into the alley beside them. "Pretty clear I what, Jack?"

Jack stayed close to the wall, eyes wide. "That you don't... okay I'm getting kind of mixed signals right now."

Gabriel leaned in, his back to the entrance, just in case someone came snooping after them, his free hand moving to Jack's hip.  The complaint was fair enough, though. "I told you. I was mad at you. Your shitty timing doesn't mean I'm not interested."

He heard Jack's breath catch as he started to relax, searching Gabriel's face. "Gabe-"

"Tell me to stop." Gabriel said, turning now so that his body pressed up against Jack's, pinning him to the wall as he ignored the little voice that reminded him this was a bad idea. Sex _always_ made things more complicated. But Abbey, and by extension Juan, were right. If Jack had died, if Gabriel had lost him, his sweet, naive, farm boy _pain in the ass_ , he would have regretted it. He _wanted_ Jack, and the desire had been building from idle fantasies to need.

Jack closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as Gabriel's hips pressed against his, "Please don't..."

"Don't?" Gabriel asked, so close now that he could feel Jack's breath on his lips.

"Don't _stop_!" Jack rasped, shaking, but paralyzed against Gabriel.

 _This is a bad idea_. That it didn't stop him. He pushed Jack back against the wall, kissing him, tasting him. He was soft now, and sweet from the liquor, and his whole body trembled with Gabriel's hands on him, holding him in place. Jack moaned, opening his mouth, only a little, but Gabriel took the opportunity to push his tongue inside, an invasion that Jack welcomed, pressing back, but more gently, almost unsure.

Cute.

Gabriel ground his hips against Jack's, keeping him pinned as he untucked his shirt, fingers grazing skin. He could feel the scar over Jack's stomach where the Bastion had shot him, though it had healed over almost completely. He pulled away from Jack's mouth, stopping briefly to bite his lip, making the blond cry out, but quietly, trying to hide it.

"Tell me to stop," Gabriel said, his breath coming faster as he moved to Jack's neck, running his tongue over him. He could taste the salt and the alcohol in Jack's sweat, and he nearly popped one of the buttons off Jack's shirt in an effort to pull it back.

"I-" Jack whimpered, glancing at the mouth of the alley, "I don't want you to stop..." Gasping when Gabriel lifted his shirt higher, taking his mouth off Jack just long enough to move to the second scar on his pec. "But should we... here?"

"No, we shouldn't," Gabriel said, letting Jack's shirt drop down. Jack stared, looking almost helpless, chest heaving and lips red. Deliciously red. Gabriel leaned in and kissed them again, more roughly this time, ravaging his mouth until he forgot to breathe, but Jack didn't fight him. Probably for the best; if he had it would have bruised. It might anyway.

Jack followed Gabriel when he pulled away, lips still parted as he tried to talk, but all that came out was a moan. It sounded a bit like "Gabe", but it was hard to say for sure when the music was still so loud. For now, that was fine, but in the long run it wasn't what Gabriel wanted.

When Jack came, Gabriel wanted to hear him say his name.

"We shouldn't," Gabriel said, pushing Jack's shoulder against the wall before his free hand wandered lower, cupping the other man's groin and squeezing. He could feel what was shaping up to be a sizable erection. Good. There had always been the chance that Jack didn't _really_ want this. A slim chance, after the kiss, but always something to factor in.

That the potential for fucking in public wasn't off the table was something Gabriel would have to keep in mind for later.

"Jesus is this... am I dreaming?" Jack asked, angling his hips into Gabriel's hand.

"No," Gabriel said, leaning in again, kissing Jack's neck and massaging him through his pants. "You're not. But we shouldn't be here." He kissed again, lower this time. "So you get your shit together, _cabron_." He bit into Jack's collar bone, eliciting a cry that sounded like a perfect twisted mix of pain and pleasure. The stiffening of the erection under the fabric was a good sign too. Hard to believe the bone had been broken, what, four days ago? Not now, though."I'm going to say goodbye." He ran his tongue over the bite mark, which completely circled the third scar. He hadn't broken skin, but oh, that would absolutely bruise. "Then we're going back to the hotel, and then if you're still in the mood, you're going to get what you ask for. Understand?"

He let Jack go, which was nearly a mistake, because Gabriel realized he might have fallen over if not for the wall. Instead of falling though, Jack slid down a little, panting and nodding slowly.

"Yeah, I uh... that sounds... that sounds good," Jack said, running his fingers through his hair. His ass finally hit the ground.

Gabriel smiled, looking down at him, running his tongue over his lips. "And Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack breathed.

"For future reference, that's what 'we kissed' feels like."

~~

The walk back to the hotel was pure agony. Jack had no idea how Gabriel could look so calm, humming the first song the band had played, hands in his pocket, seeming a million miles away, while Jack felt like his nerves were on fire and his legs were going to fall off.

That, and five minutes to try and get the hard-on in his pants under control while Gabriel had said goodbye to his friends had just _not_ been enough. Not that anyone would really be paying attention at whatever-the-hell time it was, but it sure as hell _felt_ like everyone was staring at him. Was he red? Was his hair messy? Had Gabriel left a hickey somewhere?

Jesus, what if Gabriel hadn't stopped? Would he have really just _let_ Gabriel fuck him in the alley?

Gabriel also wasn't saying anything. If not for the mouth shaped bruise on his collar bone, Jack might have believed he'd just slipped and bumped his head then dreamed the whole thing. Or passed out from whatever the bartender had given him, because that was certainly one excuse for why he didn't feel drunk after he'd had that much alcohol. But then, that would be normal, and he wasn't that anymore. Normal would have meant he was still in the hospital, or that he had died, and taken Gabriel with him. Instead he was...

He was waiting to find out what Gabriel was going to do to him.

Jack couldn't find any words until they were back in the elevator, away from prying ears, when with his mouth dry he managed to ask, "So... your room or mine?"

Gabriel glanced at him, completely relaxed, leaning up against the wall. How come _he_ got to look so calm? Maybe he was drunk. Maybe that's all this was. Gabriel was drunk and horny and he'd get back to their rooms and then-

"You're thinking too hard, Jack. You just want to go to bed?" How the hell did he make something so normal sound like a threat?

"No, I just... I wanted..." What did he want? Outside the obvious anyway. The elevator stopped, and Gabriel started to walk out, bracing his hand against the door, which was good, because Jack felt like he couldn't move. "I don't want to fuck anything up. Like before when I..." What if he was horrible and Gabriel never wanted to do it again? What if it changed things and they didn't talk anymore? He didn't think he'd be able to take it if Gabriel stopped being his friend.

What if Gabriel got sick of him, or if it didn't mean anything? If they'd just gotten caught up in the moment and that was the end of it?

Gabriel stood in the door, holding it as it tried to close, jostled against his fingers, then moved back. _Lucky door,_ Jack thought.

"I'd say that line's already been crossed. Not fucking it up, don't give me your Bambi face," Gabriel said, glancing over his shoulder into the hall, making sure they were alone, maybe? "We can stop, like we did before, or we can keep going." The door tried to close against his hand again. "Either way we're holding up the elevator."

Jack nodded, forcing himself to step out so that Gabriel could let go. He put his hand over the bite on his collar, closing his eyes for a moment before he glanced back at Gabriel, who waited. "My room's closer."

That sparked a grin, and the impossibly long walk back to Jack's room - God what if he'd said they should use Gabriel's? He never would have made it - and a closed door, and before Jack knew it, Gabriel's lips against his, fingers tangled in his hair, and the desperate need to get his clothes off as soon as possible overwhelmed him.

Gabriel only broke the kiss when he needed to breathe, and Jack wished he hadn't, wanting more, wanting it to be hard, like in the alley, or _harder_ until he passed out. Except then he might miss the best part.

"Tell me to stop," Gabriel said again, pushing Jack through the door of the bedroom until the back of his legs hit the impossibly soft mattress and he had to sit or risk falling flat on his ass.

"If I tell you to stop you might _stop_ , though," Jack managed as Gabriel put his hands on his thighs, spreading his legs and getting between them, leaving no question about who would be putting what where.

"I would," Gabriel said, undoing a button of Jack's shirt, then another, "I'm giving you an out, Jack."

"I don't want out," Jack said, undoing the buttons of his shirt from the bottom up, meeting Gabriel half-way, shivering when their fingers touched. "Gabe, I want this. I want _you_. And I thought I'd never... I thought that you hated me-"

Gabriel kissed him again, effectively silencing him as he pushed off Jack's shirt, pressing him back against the bed. It felt like the blanket was going to swallow him, and his hands got tangled in his sleeves, leaving them pinned at his back. Jack didn't know if that was deliberate, but he also didn't care, because his arms trapped beneath him was sending signals straight to his cock, which ground against Gabriel's groin, so close that he could feel him through the thick fabric.

Responding to him.

"I don't hate you, Jack," Gabriel said, kissing down his chest, tongue flicking over Jack's new scar before his mouth found one of Jack's nipples. He ran his tongue over the skin, giving it a long, hard, suck, and if Gabriel said something else, Jack didn't hear it over the blood pounding in his ears and the low moaning sounds he was making. He tried to kick off his shoes, his mother's warnings about dirt on beds somewhere in the back of his mind, but all he _wanted_ was to wrap his legs around Gabriel's waist.

" _Te adoro_..." Gabriel said, fingers creeping into Jack's pants, though Jack couldn't remember at what point his zipper had been undone. It stopped mattering when Gabriel touched him. Not through his pants like before, but Gabriel's hand, his skin, holding Jack's erection.

"Gabe _please_ \- yeah, yeah like that..." was about all Jack could manage to say when he felt his pants coming off. He tried to help, but his arms were still caught in his sleeves under him and he couldn't move them without risking a tear.

His pants hit the floor and Gabriel was between his legs again, touching him, running his fingers up Jack's shaft and pulling back his foreskin, thumb running over his slit. Jack groaned, his back arching off the bed as he wrapped his legs around Gabriel's hips, or tried to, because with his free hand Gabriel took one and hooked it over his shoulder, kneeling on the bed.

He took his hand off Jack's cock then, which made him whine, trying to sit up a little straighter before he heard something tear that could have been plastic.

"What's that-?" He gasped when he felt something cold and wet across the crack of his ass, followed by the tip of Gabriel's finger, "Oh, Jesus."

"No, just me," Gabriel said, straightening a little. "You alright?" He pushed in further, and Jack clenched at the intrusion.

"Yeah, please, yeah," Jack managed, closing his eyes and trying to push back against Gabriel's finger, relaxing a little.

"You're eager, aren't you?" Gabriel chuckled, pushing in further, eliciting a small sob from Jack that he would have held back if he could have. "And a little looser than I pictured. Have you been fingering yourself, Jack?"

Jack didn't trust his voice, so he just nodded furiously, moaning as Gabriel's finger worked inside him, teasing against the ring of muscles there. Only the tip, and Jack was already losing his mind.

"Were you thinking about me?"

"Was I...?" Jack trailed off, head tilting back when he felt a second finger at his entrance, pushing in alongside the first, the two working together to spread him apart, exploring up to Gabriel's second knuckle. He could feel them curling inside him, twisting in places Jack couldn't reach on his own. It was different, he reflected, someone else's fingers. No one else had ever touched him like that, he'd just fantasized about it, and it was making it very hard to focus.

"Tell me," Gabriel said, drawing his fingers out now, and for a horrifying moment Jack thought he might leave.

"Yes!" Jack hissed, and Gabriel's fingers pushed back inside him, deeper and working more quickly. Jack could feel the palm of Gabriel's hand touching his ass, which had to mean that the fingers were all the way inside, didn't it? Jack clawed at the sheets under him, wishing he could touch Gabriel, or move, but now he felt like he couldn't risk it. Moving or saying something else might make it stop and God, he didn't think he could bear it if it stopped.

"What was I doing to you?" Gabriel asked, probing him in more ways than one, making Jack cry out when he found what he was looking for. "This, or something else?"

The fingers pulled out again as Gabriel added more lube between Jack's legs, and this time a third finger pressed into his hole. The ring of muscles screamed and tried to clench again, but Gabriel continued to make room, and thank God they were using lube and not spit because Jack had never needed more than two fingers to get himself off, and the stretch was making his eyes roll back in his head. It hurt, and he whimpered, but it took every ounce of his floundering self-control not to try and push himself down. Instead he lifted the one leg he still had control over, letting Gabriel push further, get deeper, and rub up against his prostate. Shit, was he crying? His face was damp, and he was moaning so loudly that he was sure whoever was in the next room must be able to hear him.

"What was I doing to you, Jack?"

"I..." Jack tried to talk, but the wanton sound of his cracking voice was embarrassing. He wasn't a dainty flower losing his virginity, he was a soldier, he was-

Gabriel was pulling his fingers out.

"You were fucking me!" Jack cried, staring at Gabriel, his eyes blurry, and when he caught sight of the other man's face his whole body lit up. Gabriel was flushed now, his lips parted and wet with spit as he licked them, panting as he worked Jack open. It was hard to tell from the angle he was holding Jack at, but there was a notable bulge in his pants. "I would... I would imagine you holding me down and... and fucking me until I - I - Gabe _please_ -"

He wanted Gabriel to take his pants off. He wanted _more_ than that, but in his moment of desperation extra bells and whistles and foreplay didn't matter because what he needed was Gabriel inside him.

"You like that, huh?" Gabriel asked, driving his fingers back inside and  spreading them out, making Jack yelp as he was worked open. Making room. "The idea of me holding you down?"

" _Yes_!" Jack whimpered, shivering when Gabriel dribbled more lube into his abused hole, fingers darting in and out, picking up speed. He could see his swollen cock twitching, desperate for contact that it wasn't getting, but Jack couldn't touch himself with his hands trapped. He wasn't sure he'd make it to the actual sex either, because he was sure he would come if Gabriel touched him now.

"When I bit you," Gabriel lowered down so that his lips brushed Jack's cheek, and Jack's leg nearly touched his shoulder, leaving his ass hanging awkwardly in the air, "you liked it?"

Jack nodded, hearing Gabriel's zipper, but he couldn't look down because he felt Gabriel's tongue on his cheek, licking up the tears he was trying to pretend weren't there, kissing him again, nipping at his lip before he pulled away. Every touch was like fire, and Jack could feel himself falling apart.

"Good to know," Gabriel said, pulling his fingers out, leaving Jack feeling cold and empty.

"Don't, Gabe, keep going-"

"Quietm" Gabriel said, slapping Jack's exposed ass, making his eyes go wide and his cock jerk, precum dripping down his shaft onto his stomach. Gabriel raised an eyebrow, lifting a condom out of his pocket and biting into the wrapper, tearing it open. "I'm learning an awful lot about you tonight, Jack."

"S-shut up," Jack managed, shifting when Gabriel lowered him back onto the bed, one knee still over his shoulder so that Jack rolled awkwardly to his side. He could watch now as Gabriel rolled the condom down onto his thick cock, covering himself before he set the tip of his erection against Jack's gaping hole.

"Ask for it," Gabriel said, panting and gripping Jack's knees, keeping one pinned to his shoulder and the other to the bed.

"Fuck me!" There was no point in holding back now, not when he was so close.

Still, when Gabriel's cock pushed inside him, rocking into him, filled him, Jack very nearly screamed - or maybe he did, he couldn't tell. Whatever he did, Gabriel put his hand over his mouth, pulling back his hips and rocking into him again - slowly at first, but then he started to pick up speed, rigid heat filling Jack until he felt Gabriel's balls slap his ass. He was very aware of how numb his hands were now, and all at once he felt too tight, too rigid, and just right all at once with one leg hanging over Gabriel's shoulder, the other lolling to the side as wide as he could make it go so that Gabriel could get the right angle and dig into him, ravishing him. When he finally started to pound into Jack's prostate, he cried out again, coming undone in Gabriel's hands, impaled against him, slick with lube and aching for this. It hurt, but in the best way, frantic and dirty, and too much to last long.

Then Gabriel touched him, finger wrapping around his cock and jerking him, and that was too much. Jack came gasping, crumpling into the bed as Gabriel rode it out with him, warmth inside the condom giving away that he was coming too. Gabriel pulled his hand away and leaned down, covering Jack's mouth with his, eating up every cry except one, when Jack whispered his name.

Jack felt his own cum spurt onto his chest, and when Gabriel pulled out and flopped down beside him. He reached out, wiping the ejaculate off of Jack with his thumb and put it to his mouth, licking it off his fingers.

Jack watched, wide eyed and trembling. He wished he could think of something coherent to say, or even something romantic, maybe? Or sexy. Or funny. If he could have found the strength, he would have kissed him again, tasted himself and Gabriel all at once. Instead of any of that he said, "I can't feel my hands."

Gabriel snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, I bet there's a lot you can't feel right now." He leaned in and rolled Jack over, pulling the shirt off the rest of the way and tossing it to the floor. He ran his fingers down the small of Jack's back, lingering over the new scar before his hand moved down and squeezed his ass cheek.

"Mhm," Jack mumbled, glancing at the clock before he closed his eyes and rested his head against the sheets.

 _I had sex with Gabriel_. He laughed, trying to raise up his hand to get his hair out of his face, but he just wound up slapping himself by mistake because his fingers were asleep. _I have to tell him what time it is_.

"You alright?" Gabriel asked, laying down beside him, his hand still on Jack's skin, stroking him. It was weird, that Gabriel was still almost fully dressed, his cock hanging out of his pants. He looked ridiculous, which only made Jack laugh more.

"Yeah... yeah I..." Was he _giggling_? "Sorry it isn't funny." It wasn't, really. He'd been so stressed out by the idea of sleeping with Gabriel, so caught up, that he'd forgotten something else, and he wasn't exactly sure how to tell Gabriel now. Not when it was so silly, him laying there naked with numb arms, Gabriel with a baffled but still amused expression, and the damn clock flashing behind him.

"Well clearly _something_ 's funny, Jack," Gabriel said, shaking his head, resting his hand on Jack's side. "What is it? Did I fuck a screw loose?"

He must have thought Jack was losing it, he realized. God, that made it funnier. "Gabe, the _clock_." He covered his face when Gabriel turned on the bed, following what Jack had been looking at over his shoulder.

"Our flight leaves in half an hour."

"Oh _shit_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never say I don't love you.
> 
> As always, much love to my beta, Aisu, who continues to be the absolute best.
> 
> Wanna know what the song sounds like/Gabriel on guitar? Here's what I was listening to most of last week: Malagueña Salerosa, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjmcE4QiBkc
> 
> Also did you know I got fanart? I did! Find it here from the spectacular Jara257: http://jara257.tumblr.com/post/149530944534/tfw-you-wanna-do-fanart-for-a-good-fic-but-your
> 
> Translations: (Lots this time around)
> 
> Vete al infierno - Go to hell  
> Uy, que care-chimba - Hey, penis-face  
> Basura - garbage  
> Te adoro - I adore you
> 
> Questions? Comments? Want to know what mariachi bands I've been obsessing over since I started doing research for this fic? Find me at: http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> I'm almost at 400 followers, and to celebrate, I'll be doing a week of headcannons and Q&A! I'll let everyone know when that kicks off!


	7. The Morning After

"Somehow the two of you seem to be having trouble understanding what _secret_ means."

Jack was exhausted, nervous, and his ass was killing him. When he and Gabriel had been all but dragged into the Colonel's office, he had somehow felt like Erikson _knew_. Or if he didn't, Dr. Okoye must. Or maybe the PR guy who set down the series of photos in front of them.

Not, luckily, professional photography. Just the cell phone pictures and videos from their night on the town that had been surfacing everywhere. The good news was they weren't, apparently, important enough to make the news, but they certainly hadn't been subtle.

Jack wondered if he could get a copy of some of them, because the ones where Gabriel was playing guitar on stage were actually pretty good. There was one close up of his hands that... well, it called to mind exactly what Gabriel's fingers could do, anyway.

His main fear had been that someone might have followed them back to the hotel, or caught them kissing in the alley, because while not strictly forbidden, that would lead nowhere good. At the very least the Colonel would have to break up their partnership or...

It didn't matter. Each photo only showed them drinking, dancing, or playing on stage. Not _great_ , but not the end of the world.

"Understand, we do not begrudge you." Well, the PR guy looked like he might, but Dr. Okoye at least didn't seem particularly phased, and the Colonel wore his usual poker face. "Things have been hard these last few weeks. However, you should have received permission."

"Yes, sir," Gabriel and Jack said in unison, both sounding exhausted - and just a little hung over, even though Jack couldn't say he had a headache. Just a pit in his stomach that reminded him that he and Gabriel had slept together - or rather _not_ slept together - only a few hours before. They _had_ slept on the plane, but two hours in uncomfortable chairs hadn't done wonders for his brain.

He wanted, desperately, to talk to Gabriel. To say something (or ask a million things). Was it good? Was he good? Had it changed anything? Did he want to do it again? Were they a thing now, or were they exactly the opposite of a thing? _Should_ they say something and get new partners?

"There is only one question I feel must be asked, and unfortunately there is no easy way to go about it. So, I will be direct," Dr. Okoye said, leaning back in her chair. "Did you have intercourse with any civilians?"

Jack could feel himself go beet red, opening his mouth and closing it again. _Did_ they know?

"No, ma'am," Gabriel said, glancing at Jack, looking as though she had only asked if he took sugar in his coffee.

"Morrison?" the Colonel followed up, glancing at him.

"N-No, sir!" They had asked about civilians, so it wasn't a lie. It still felt like one.

"We ask only because the contact you signed when you joined this program expressly forbids it," Dr. Okoye said, folding her hands on her lap. "The risk of pregnancy, or indeed the possibility that any genetic material you left behind could be collected and used for such purposes, has the potential for somewhat... disastrous results."

"Nothing happened, Doc," Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow at Jack.

Dr. Okoye glanced from Gabriel and then back to Jack, nodding. "Of course. So long as you understand that if we find out you have been... less than honest with us, there will be problems in the future. We have not had the time to re-arrange partners, but that is something that can change."

"We understand, doctor," Jack said, finding his voice at last.

"I'm glad," Dr. Okoye said, picking up her pencil and returning to her notes.

"Unfortunately there won't be much rest today. Morrison, I'll need you to report to training room ten. We have a situation that will require everyone we have available," the Colonel said, fingers tapping along the edge of his desk.

"Not me, sir?" Gabriel asked, sounding a little confused.

"I mean, if it's all hands on deck, sir...?" Jack followed up, glancing at him again. Gabriel shrugged.

"Reyes will be staying here. Morrison, you'll find Goldman and Parsons outside. Send them in and then head to the training room,” the Colonel said, dismissing Jack with a wave.

"Right. Yes, sir," Jack said, standing and saluting, wincing a little when he got up too fast.

He found Abbey and George outside, as promised. George stared very steadfastly at the wall, but Abbey grinned when she saw him, raising her hand. "Hey there, blondie. I saw you with my ball and chain on the news. How's he doing? Did he have a good birthday?"

"He got really drunk and threw up on Gabriel." Jack grinned, relieved when it made her laugh. She hadn't been the same with everything happening in Santa Fe, but hearing about Juan seemed to delight her.

"Sounds like him. I'm glad he's alright," she said, standing up, "Good to know you two didn't do anything I wouldn't do. Did you get yelled at?"

"Only a little," Jack admitted, knowing he should head to the training room and feeling reluctant. He'd hoped he would get a chance to talk to Gabriel, but if they were being separated... when would they get the chance?

"Ah, well, you'll be fine. Heroes of the hour and all." Abbey grinned, slapping Jack's ass as she headed towards the office, which made him yelp. It was almost exactly where Gabriel had spanked him. That gave her pause, and made a grin spread on her face until Jack felt like he could see every single one of her teeth. "Oh, sunshine, baby, _did_ you do something I wouldn't do?"

"I, uh, I'll see you later. They wanted to talk to you. Uh. Right away." Jack turned on his heel and marched away, but he could hear Abbey laughing the whole way.

~~

Given very little prompting, Gabriel would have killed every single person in the room if it meant he got to go to bed. Even Abbey, who honestly he might strangle just on principal because she kept looking at him and waggling her eyebrows. How the hell did she _know_? She and Jack had been in the hall for twenty seconds, max.

"I'm sure the three of you are wondering why you're here, and not with the rest of your comrades," the Colonel had started off, and Gabriel wasn't, actually, "and it has to do with this." He laid their files on the table, like somehow they wouldn't know what they were looking at. Deep inside the Colonel, despite the poker face, Gabriel suspected he had a flare for the dramatic.

Gabriel, Abbey and George didn't have much in common on the surface, except that they had all been in the same unit, and had a very specific skillset. Looking around the rest of the SEP recruits, no one else had the same background, though some were similar. Hell, some had applied and been turned down for Gabriel's unit, back when he had a rank and wasn't just a lab rat.

He didn't need to look at the files to know what their purpose was.

"Well, sir, those would be personnel files that we're not allowed to read," Abbey said, pinnacle of stoic silence that she was. She was at least behaving herself a little, because her legs weren't up on the desk.

Dr. Okoye looked up from her note pad, glancing at the Colonel. Sly woman. Gabriel hadn't paid enough attention to her when things had started, and that had been an error on his part. The problem, at the base of it, was that he had expected everything with the SEP to play by the usual military rules, and to not be a pet project run by scientists. He'd thought the Colonel was in charge, but the entire PR stunt had given away that he wasn't. The doctor was calling the shots.

"There was another Omnic attack in Berlin an hour ago," the Colonel said, face perfectly still. "Early reports have seventy thousand people dead, and the Germans have officially launched their counter-measures. They're calling them the Crusaders, or something along those lines. Either way, that's us, Russia and Germany so far, and the Omnics still haven't issued a single demand."

Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest, nodding.

"We've had some good PR recently, but I'm sure you've noticed that aside from our last batch of rookies, we haven't had any new blood. We're also not going to get any," the Colonel said, a small sneer encroaching on his lip. "Praise us one moment for the lives we save, then slash our funding in the next breath."

"Your comrades have a mission that will show the world what SEP is capable of. Truly capable of. That we are the future, and the saviors of humanity," Dr. Okoye said, sitting up a little straighter, "This will not be enough."

She turned on their holo TV, two pundits sitting on the screen arguing back and forth.

"Say whatever you want about the heroics, John Morrison is eighteen, and look at these before and after pictures! Why won't the SEP disclose exactly what they're doing? Nothing is being given to the public, no one is telling us what they're pumping into these people! It's illegal human experimentation, that's what it is! And our government is using the crisis as an excuse to-" The Doctor paused the playback.

The Colonel outright scowled this time, his facade starting to break down. "Put on some armor like the Germans and the Russians, you're a hero. Make people _better_ and we're monsters."

Dr. Okoye held up her hand, and the Colonel went quiet. "The government is paying close attention to us, and our actions. Our failures have been unfortunate, and they have taken stock of them. It is best the public remains ignorant for the time being. We cannot dampen their spirits, not when things are so dire."

"So what's the problem then, doc?" Abbey asked, addressing the doctor.

The doctor took a file from the desk, handing it to Gabriel. He flipped it open, reviewing the information, though he felt almost too tired to read it. He knew the picture though, and handed the file to Abbey, who glanced it over, nodded, then handed it to George.

"Thomas Bowman. You'll remember him as Tom, I believe," Dr. Okoye said, "He's been talking to a reporter - you'll recognize Ms. Shaw. Despite our encouragement, and the signed contract with us that he would not speak of what happened here... he intends to."

"The kid was only here a day. What could he know?" Gabriel asked, massaging his forehead. He supposed the answer didn't really matter.

"An eighteen year old soldier with a promising future, who had it torn away by SEP? By his government?" Dr. Okoye asked, tilting her head. "Not receiving new recruits is one thing. That kind of bad press could put an end to us. Then everything we have worked for is for nothing. Every person who had a bad reaction to the serum will have gone through this for _nothing_."

"It would be better," the Colonel said, crossing his legs, "if it looked like an accident. Your files indicated that your squad was... good at making these things look like accidents."

Gabriel glanced at George and Abbey, who looked back - George with bland interest, Abbey with a raised eyebrow and an expectation.

And here Gabriel had thought joining SEP would bring an end to this kind of business. Foolish, in hindsight. "When do you want it done?"

"Tonight."

"Then we'll make it happen."

~~

The meeting had gone on for over an hour, and then Jack had had no choice but to run drills with the rest of the team until they'd nailed down the parameters of their mission. He had just about collapsed from exhaustion, so frazzled by his night of no sleep and that he had screwed up several very basic activities. No one had let him get away with it, which he was guessing equated to punishment for not doing what he was told.

God, why hadn't he just gone to bed like a regular person?

Then he'd think about Gabriel's hands on him - and more specifically _in_ him - and he'd get distracted for a whole separate reason.

"Dude, you look like _shit,_ " Maggie had said when they'd finally been let go, "You going to be alright shipping out tomorrow?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me." Jack smiled at her, hoping to assuage her fears. He was guessing it was partly genuine concern, and partly self-interest on her part, because he'd been assigned to her and her team since he was a partner short. "We snuck out and partied all night. I should be fine after I take a nap."

"Remind me to get shot tomorrow." Maggie grinned back at him, shaking her head. "I'd kill for a good party about now."

"Trust me, after today? Not worth it." A lie, but it had made her laugh. He hoped she wasn't too  worried about his capabilities, but his show in training wasn't exactly what he'd call 'confidence inspiring'.

Gabriel still wasn't back in their room yet. Jack wasn't sure if that made him happy or not. He checked Gabriel's room and the bathroom, just to make sure sure, but there was no sign of him.

He sighed, stripping and getting in the shower, letting the warm water roll over him. Shower, then straight to bed. If he woke up before his alarm, maybe he could go to the shooting range before they shipped out to make sure he wasn't as rusty as he felt. His shoulder ached a bit, and when he reached up to massage it he brushed the bite-shaped bruise on his collar. He hissed a little in pain - then pressed down on it, eyes closed as he savored the memory of how it got there.

" _When I bit you, you liked it_?" God, he had. He was struggling to think of a single part of the night that he _hadn't_ liked, except for how quickly it had been over. That it had been fast and dirty was _probably_ a good thing, because they might have missed their plane if it hadn't, but he didn't even know how to ask for it again.

Jack also wasn't sure how to ask for more. What if Gabriel didn't like it? What if Gabriel just didn't want to do it again? If he didn't, would he want to switch partners? Or if he did, would he _still_ want to switch partners? Jack didn't want to think about that. The idea of spending time with someone else on the couch, or someone else teasing him, or someone else - even Maggie or Abbey - having his back in the field when they went out... it wasn't the same.

 _Don't be stupid. You've only known him for two months_. He could die the next day and Gabriel would probably forget about him by the end of the year. A partner he'd had for a few months, then moved on from. Someone he had slept with once and then just...

Jack's fingers tightened and he stared at the wall, trying to banish the sickness that had settled in his stomach. He had no idea how Gabriel was going to react to any of this. He should have just told Gabriel to stop. They should have _talked_ before they jumped straight to-

"Jack? You showering?"

Jack just about slipped, grabbing hold of the bar inside the shower to steady himself, which just about pulled the damn thing off the wall. "Yeah! In here."

Gabriel walked inside, hunched over, already pulling off his shirt. "Well, I'm not assuming you're showering somewhere else." He kicked off his pants, walking right into the shower beside Jack without breaking stride.

Jack stared, opening and closing his mouth as water poured into his eyes. It was like Gabriel had just materialized in front of him. "Oh. Uh. It's kind of crowded for two people, isn't it?"

"You want me to wait?" Gabriel asked, sounding about as exhausted as Jack felt, even though he seemed to at least look a little less tired.

"No, no it's uh... it's fine," Jack said, staring at Gabriel's chest and trying not to look lower. Which made him feel like even more of an idiot because it wasn't as though he hadn't gotten to know Gabriel's cock very intimately the night before.

Then again, that it was Gabriel's bare chest right in front of him wasn't helping either. Fully naked. That he hadn't seen because they didn't shower in groups like they had in Basic, and whenever Gabriel had been in the shower, Jack usually tried very hard to completely avoid the room. God, Gabriel was muscular, with biceps that could have crushed Jack's head back when they'd first met and a broad chest that Jack had to struggle not to reach out and touch, wanting desperately to run his fingers through Gabriel's chest hair or feel his nipples or...

Damn, he was also _scarred_. Two bullet wounds that Jack could pick up on a first glance, and a long mark on his pec that could have been from a knife, maybe? Then another jagged one on his sternum that he guessed could have been from surgery, except it was a little too... shrapnel, maybe?

"Distracted, much?" Gabriel asked, making Jack look up.

"Oh, uh, sorry. I'm kind of out of it. I don't even know how long I've been standing here," Jack admitted, blushing and turning his gaze back towards the wall, "It's been a hell of a day."

"Yeah, I noticed," Gabriel said, reaching up and running his thumb along the bite mark.

Jack winced, but he also couldn't hide the gasp. It was so different when Gabriel touched him. Almost electric.

"You're really into this whole getting roughed up thing, aren't you?" Gabriel snorted, pressing a little harder against the mark. "I wouldn't have pictured it for you. How much of that have you done?"

Gabriel _would_ ask these questions while they were both naked in the shower, wouldn't he.

"Not um... it wasn't exactly something..." Jack blushed, stepping back from the touch, but he didn't have a lot of places to go. "I mean there was just one girl who I guess realized it first. She liked to play with scarves and stuff and then we tried a few things that were a bit more... intense. But that's sort of as far as we got. She went to school and I went to Basic and she didn't..." God he didn't know where the hell he was supposed to look, but he couldn't meet Gabriel's eyes, so instead he was back to looking at his chest (which was still unfairly distracting). "She said she didn't want to do it full time. With me. And I just... nothing else ever really got me going."

"Yeah, I bet the Prom King quarterback could have had anything he wanted,” Gabriel said, turning his face into the spray of the water.

Jack blushed, "No, it wasn't like that. I mean aside from the fact that my parents would have killed me if they found out I just..." Now he was going to sound like a baby. "I wanted to be a one person... person. I just wasn't really compatible with people who wanted to be with me. You know? Like they wanted me to be someone I wasn't."

"And what do you want me to be?" Gabriel asked.

Jack's head jolted up, eyes wide. "Oh, no I didn't- I don't want you to be anything you don't want to be! I didn't... is this because I said I had fantasies and stuff about-? Because I didn't want to- God, I'm so bad at this-"

Gabriel leaned in and kissed him, effectively silencing Jack. He shivered, even though the water wasn't cold, but he could feel Gabriel's skin against him, and even though he was so tired he barely felt coherent he felt his cock twitching to life when Gabriel rubbed his thumbs against his hips.

"You have a real problem saying what you _actually_ want, don't you?" Gabriel asked, pulling away and running his hands up Jack's torso until he reached his armpits. "Put your hands up and grab the shower head. Don't let go until I say you can."

Jack did it, smiling a little. "You're telling me _I_ have a problem saying what I want? You never tell me anything."

"Then I'll tell you this," Gabriel said, shifting the shower head so that it sprayed down onto Jack's head, dousing him in water, before he turned it off, "I _want_ to find out all the different ways I can make you squirm." He grabbed their bar of soap, touching it under Jack's neck and running it down his chest, "I was planning on asking but..." He ran it over Jack's chest and his arms, then set it aside. "Since you don't seem to know, I'm going to do some exploring. So don't you move, or you might slip and break your pretty neck."

Jack wasn't sure he could have moved even if he wanted to. Instead he tightened his grip on the shower head, afraid that if he slipped he'd just bring the whole thing down on his head, and closed his eyes, gasping and arching into the touch.

"You're awfully sensitive, you know that?" Gabriel asked, rolling his thumb over Jack's nipple, massaging the soap into him. "And noisy."

"Fuck off-" Jack managed before he had to bite back a moan when Gabriel pinched his nipple. That took his cock from 'mild interest'  to standing at attention, which Gabriel also obviously noticed, because he pinched harder, and Jack could feel a fingernail biting his skin.

"Nipples," Gabriel said, leaning into Jack and rubbing the bar of soap over his abdomen while his other hand kept tugging at Jack's nipple, twisting it and putting on more pressure, "are a good place to start." The soap bar dipped lower, brushing his growing erection and making Jack gasp. "Then there's the obvious." The soap moved down his thighs, then back up, grazing over his balls and between his legs. "People forget here, and just under, around the taint sometimes."

Jack was shaking now, trying to lean against Gabriel - but he was too far back, so instead he just moved into the touch.

"Don't let go of the shower head, Jack."

There was a sharpness to his voice that made Jack's spine tingle.

"R-right, got it." Jack nodded, shifting his grip and trying to remember to not put his weight on the stupid thing, because pulling down the shower head and needing to call in a doctor for 'concussion received during shower sex' was the last thing he needed.

"Then of course," Gabriel continued, brushing over Jack's ass crack until he got to his hole, "the one you got to know last night." He pulled away, setting the soap aside before he put his hands back on Jack. One worked his other nipple while the other reached between his legs, fingers caressing his fine blond pubic hair and working the soap into him.

Jesus, that felt good – especially edged with the sharp pain when Gabriel twisted his nipple again, leaving it erect and red in the quickly cooling air.

When had Jack started breathing so fast?

Gabriel finally let go of his abused nipple, changing tactics and running his hand over Jack's ass again. He teased the crack and dipped a soap-slick finger inside him, making him gasp.

"Still hurt a little?"

"Uh... yeah.  A bit. I think. I mean." Jack blinked, trying to keep both a literal and figurative grasp on the situation, but now Gabriel was stroking his cock, moving along the shaft and then down to his balls, cleaning up the mess from the night before in what Jack could only assume was the dirtiest way possible.

Gabriel worked faster now, the strokes coming more quickly as Jack trembled, trapped between his arms. Gabriel's finger dipped back inside him, just one, twisting into him. "It's good to stay relatively clean back here," he whispered into Jack's ear, cupping his balls and squeezing as the finger kept teasing him, "because then, if I want, I can stick my tongue-"

"Oh _fuck_ ," Jack managed as he came into Gabriel's hand, just about slipping. Except this time, with Gabriel so close, he caught Jack handily enough, and managed to take his weight before he ripped out the shower head.

Gabriel laughed, turning the water back on and letting it rinse over Jack, doing away with the evidence of their indiscretion. "Let go of the shower head. You know, your problem is you've got no stamina, _puto_."

"Maybe you're just better with your fingers than other people," Jack mumbled, righting himself and letting the soap slide off him.

"You say the sweetest things." Gabriel smirked, letting him go. "Do me a favor and wash my back?"

Jack blinked, but he picked up the soap and Gabriel turned around, almost like nothing had happened. He found his gaze traveling downwards, and hell, Gabriel wasn't even hard. "Oh... I thought you might... want me too..."

He'd _wanted_ to touch Gabriel. To really touch him, like he'd touched Jack, and get to feel every inch of him. Which, he supposed he was getting to do just not... quite in the way he'd wanted.

"Yeah, I'm not getting anything up when I'm this tired," Gabriel said, rotating his shoulder, which gave a great view from a new angle, a new way to watch every single muscle in Gabriel's back move, from his shoulder blade right down to his hips, and damn he had the ass of a Greek sculpture. "You really want to do me a favor, give me a massage. And stop wasting the hot water."

Jack nodded before he realized that Gabriel couldn't see him, and turned off the water, taking the soap and running it over Gabriel's back. There were more scars there, one that could have been an exit wound from his chest and one that looked like a knife wound. He found himself running his fingers over them, feeling the difference in his skin as Gabriel's head leaned forward and he made a small noise of appreciation.

He dug his thumbs in, knowing a little about massages from school. He'd thrown his shoulder out once - tackle gone wrong - and had to see a chiropractor. He pushed his fingers in as much as he could, using his thumbs for leverage, but the soap made the whole effort slippery. Still, he was touching Gabriel. Really touching him, and the other man wasn't making any smart remarks or trying to pull away. If Gabriel hadn't already said no, Jack would have reached around, touched him, felt his groin, really gotten to know what it was like aside from brief glances that made him feel embarrassed. It was silly, he knew it was silly, Gabriel had come inside him for fuck's sake.

"Sorry if I'm a little tight."

Jack coughed loudly to cover whatever noise he had made, because squeaking over Gabriel's shoulder would probably not be attractive - but from the way Gabriel glanced at him over his shoulder and smirked, that had more or less been the intention.

"Uh, yeah it's uh..." Jack tried to find something near coherent. "I thought sex was supposed to make people relax."

"Make _you_ relax, maybe. I'm the one who's been doing all the work," Gabriel said, flexing his shoulder under Jack's hand. "Besides, I'm tired, like I said. And we have a mission. It's better to be tense before, keeps you on your toes."

"Is it some top secret former Special Ops thing? Is that why I wasn't invited?" Jack asked, trying to joke, but also curious.

"Exactly that, actually," Gabriel said, wincing. "Ow, okay, too much thumb there."

"Right, sorry," Jack said, letting his mind wrap around that. "Just uh... try to come back in one piece, okay? I'd like to pay back the..." What was the old saying? If you weren't mature enough to talk about sex, you weren't mature enough to be doing it? "The hand job. I don't want you to lose any important bits."

Gabriel snorted. "Tell you what, how about if I come back in one piece you can blow me?"

"Is that an invitation?" Jack asked, licking his lips.

Gabriel turned around that time, taking Jack's hand in one swift motion and putting it over his heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die, Jackie. You ever given a blow job, or just been on the receiving end?" he asked, getting in Jack's space again and turning on the tap, rinsing off his back.

"Uh, receiving end so I... get the general principle." This time Jack looked down. He'd half hoped that maybe Gabriel would be hard now, that he could talk him into letting Jack jerk him off at least. He wasn't, even though looking down at his limp dick was still enough to make Jack remember what it was like.

Then he noticed something else. "Let me wash your front, you've got my come all over you."

Gabriel blinked, looking down. He chuckled at the state of his stomach. "It's because you're so backed up."

Jack rolled his eyes, grabbing the soap again and running it down Gabriel's stomach. "Am not." He massaged the soap into Gabriel's skin, watching it lather up. Gabriel closed his eyes, leaning one hand against the wall, seeming to enjoy it anyway. Jack washing him. Jack's hands on him.

Daring himself, he reached up, brushing his hand over Gabriel's nipple, telling himself that it was just to get some suds out of the way - but as he touched he stopped briefly. There was another scar there. A small hole, it looked like. Almost like...

"Used to have a piercing there." Jack looked back up at him, breath catching in his throat all over again. "Go on, you can check the other one. Had one there too. I had to take them out for all of this though. I figure they were worried one would get torn out by accident and I'd sue."

"You... did it hurt?" Jack wanted to kick himself. Stupid question, especially beside all of Gabriel's other scars. They'd both been _shot_.

"Not nearly as much as these ones," Gabriel said, taking Jack's hand again and moving it between his legs, letting Jack's fingers curl around him. That sent a jolt very firmly down Jack's spine, even though Gabriel was still soft. He could feel what Gabriel was talking about. Little dots of scar tissue.

"You had your- why?" Jack stared, eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"Well, you see Jack, it was a lot of fun for fucking." Gabriel smirked. "The nipples were mainly for aesthetics, but they can feel really nice if you play with them just right." He pulled Jack's hand away. "Don't knock it 'til you try it."

"Yeah... yeah, uh, I'll keep that in mind." It was going to be hard not to, now that he was thinking about it. What would it feel like? Either way, it merited a change of topic. "What are the rest from? The other scars. I mean, obvious," he ran his finger along Gabriel's chest, touching what was definitely a bullet wound, "we match there. But what about this one?" He touched Gabriel's sternum.

Never, in all the time Jack had known him, had he seen Gabriel shut down quite so quickly.

"Car accident," he said, with all the emotion of a man describing washing dishes.

"Oh," Jack said, letting Gabriel push him aside so he could finish washing off the soap. "I'm sorry... really bad one?"

"Well, I'm the only one who survived it, so yeah. It was pretty bad," Gabriel said, ducking his head under the water.

"Oh, shit," Jack said, trying to think of what to say. The smart thing, he knew, would be to leave it alone. Let Gabriel tell him when he was ready, if he ever felt that way, but of course instead of that, he asked, "Is that... why you lived with your grandparents?"

A shot in the dark, but as Jack had guessed, not a difficult one. The scars looked a lot older than anything else on Gabriel's body. Gabriel glanced at him, turning off the taps, and Jack wondered what he was looking for in Jack's face. Pity, maybe?

"Yeah. I was ten. Some drunk hit us, he died too, so it was... over and done with," Gabriel said, grabbing a towel. "Nothing I could do to change it. So I went and lived with my grandparents, or really just my Abuelita because the old man died about a year after I got there." He dried his hair, wringing out his beard, not looking at Jack. "Shit happens. I got over it."

Oh yeah, that was _very_ convincing. Jack must have made a noise to that effect, because Gabriel looked back at him.

"Okay, fine, I got over not liking cars." Gabriel smirked, running his hand over his pec. "Got over that when some asshole doored me on my bike. Turns out no matter what you're riding, someone can fuck you up." An obvious change of topic, but Jack decided to let it go. He'd pushed his luck enough.

"Well, at least now I know where your thighs come from." Jack smiled, trying to circle back around to something Gabriel might be more comfortable with. He grabbed another towel, wrapping it around Gabriel's shoulders and wiping him down.

"Well, I don't get them from sitting on my ass." Gabriel smiled, seeming relieved that they'd stopped talking about it. He dropped his towel on Jack's head and started fluffing up his hair. "We should get you on an exercise bike, then you won't be so skinny."

"And here I thought you liked my skinny ass." Jack grinned, leaning up against Gabriel. "Or I didn't hear any complaints last night. Unless you'd like to air one now?" Oh God, what if that _was_ a complaint? What if Jack wasn't his type? What if this was all-

Gabriel leaned in and kissed him, hard, pushing his tongue between Jack's lips, pushing against him him until Jack felt his back hit the wall. He hadn't even realized he'd been stepping backwards, not when Gabriel was pressed against him so hard that he felt like his lips were bruising.

When he pulled away, he licked his lips and smiled, dropping the towel over Jack's eyes. "No complains, Jackie." He ran a thumb over his lips, and Jack's breath caught around it. "And if you keep giving me the 'come fuck me' eyes, then I might forget how tired I am." He pulled his hand away, "Which I don't have time for." He leaned in, kissing Jack's neck, then down his shoulder, before he bit into Jack's skin, eliciting a long gasp. It was hard, bruising for sure - but before Jack could gather himself to give any kind of response, Gabriel grabbed another towel, wrapped it around his waist, and left the room.

Jack blushed furiously, trying to get his breath under control. He glared down at his penis, which had started to become erect all over again."No one asked you," he mumbled, grabbing hold of his own towel and wrapping it around his waist.

Then, as he walked out into the main room room, he saw Abbey laying on the couch.

She grinned at him, raising an apple to her lips. "Hey sexy." She bit into it with a very satisfying crunch.

Jack turned bright red, grabbing the towel around his waist to make sure it was firmly affixed to his person. "Abbey! Hi!" he said, a little too loudly.

Gabriel was sitting on the back of the couch, fishing through a bag of clothes, and pulling out dark black tactical gear. "You sure this shit'll fit? It's awfully small."

"It has some good stretch," Abbey said, still looking at Jack, wiggling her eyebrows. She was dressed all in black as well, a flak jacket resting on her shoulder. "Those're some nice bruises you've got there, blondie."

"Be nice." Gabriel said, heading to his room as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

Abbey looked mock-offended. "Gabriel, Gabe, Gabi, Gabs, I'm _always_ nice. Right?" She smirked at Jack, looking him up and down.

"Were you- what did you- were you just _waiting_ here the whole time?" Jack asked, trying to shuffle towards his room.

"Oh _yeah_ , I was," she said, chewing loudly. "Anyone ever tell you that you make a lot of noise when you're getting screwed? There're some cats who used to live outside my apartment who make less noise than you."

"You know what?" Jack was blushing all over again, going to his door, "You're _not_ nice."

"Gabe! Jack's hurting my feelings!"

"If the two of you don't shut up, I'm hurting more than just your feelings!"

Jack could still hear them laughing after he closed his door, and he found that he was smiling too. Somehow, it didn't matter that Abbey knew, maybe because she so obviously didn't care. It made everything suddenly seem normal.

Like this could all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some shit's gunna go down soon.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> As always, thanks to the lovely Aisu. They're the best Beta.
> 
> Also OMG I got more fanart!  
> http://cranafterdark.tumblr.com/image/150995046563
> 
> Feel free to message me if you find anymore or you've done one that I missed! You guys are amazing and talented!
> 
> SPECIAL NOTE: SOAP IS NOT GOOD LUBE DON'T USE IT.


	8. The End of Month Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes first because this chapter is a bit on the dark side. So trigger warnings for:
> 
> \- Discussion of suicide  
> \- Mentioned animal cruelty  
> \- Enough violence that I'm upping it on the tag
> 
> Thanks again to Aisu for all their help editing.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Need to vent at me? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/

Tom looked at the reporter's card again, sitting in the dark cabin he'd been squatting in for the past month. It wasn't cold yet, but September was coming to an end. Soon there would be snow, and a one-armed man couldn't be too careful - except he had this rotten feeling deep in his gut that winter wasn't his biggest problem.

The reporter, Shaw, had been very clear – that he needed to watch his back, that SEP was a serious group of dangerous people. She didn't have to warn him. He had been to the bunker and had seen the dead look on Dr. Weber's face when he prepared the anesthetic. In the few moments he'd been conscious after that, he'd seen the man's face when he looked at the bone saw. Animals and butchers, that's what they were, and no one had warned them.

Seeing Jack on the news was what had done it. Shaw had asked him if this was about revenge, or jealousy, but it wasn't. Jack didn't know. Him, Maggie, Claude, and maybe none of the others either – Tom didn't know. But the doctors and the Colonel did, and Tom knew he had to put a stop to what was happening before anyone else got hurt like he had.

He heard the geese in the pen outside before he heard the scream. No one would hear whoever it was. That's why he had chosen his parent's old cabin. That, and no one would come there unless they were looking for him. No one might step on one of his traps by mistake, except for Ms. Shaw, who would come through the front door. He didn't have anything for the front door. Everywhere else was a different story.

Running from the kitchen to the second floor, Tom turning off the lights as he went, pulling on the night vision goggles he'd picked up. He needed to be ready. The goggles. The guns. The traps. Even the geese, because he wasn't sure he could have handled a guard dog. It could have stepped in a trap. The geese had their pen though, and they were just as good.

He took the sniper rifle, kneeling at the window and checking his line of traps before he found them. Three figures in the dark, huddled around each other, one with their leg in a bear trap. He'd leave that one for now. They wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon. The other two would be as soon as they realized how very compromised they were with the geese honking and the lights out.

Taking aim at the taller of the two, he fired once. He'd been good, when he had two arms. Now he was 'good enough' with a hand-made wooden stand to guide him through his shot. Of course as soon as he fired the high caliber rifle the stupid thing shattered, nearly knocking him back as he lost sight in the scope of whether or not he'd hit one of the attackers.

Hitting the floor with both knees, Tom lowered his head, fully expecting gunfire to shower through the window - but there was nothing. No shots fired to retaliate. He grabbed his rifle and went back to the window, staring out with his night vision and trying to get a better look. One person was down, on top of whoever had stepped in the bear trap, but the third person was gone.

No time to worry about the one in the trap. He could shoot, but he'd give away his position to whoever was left. Amazing how the habits were kicking in, even from basic training. He'd been taught well, despite it being all for nothing. Taught well right up until the last moment.

He set aside the sniper rifle, grabbing hold of his hand gun. He moved toward the stairs, looking down and listening for anything. It was an old cabin, there would be no way to avoid a creaking floorboard or two, but the problem was that with geese still screaming outside it was hard to hear. He'd have to go downstairs - or he could risk the intruder coming up.

Or the intruder shooting him through the floorboards when he had nowhere to run.

Against his better judgment, he stepped down the stairs, knowing at least that whoever was below him wouldn't be able to hear the creaky stairs either. He stepped down again, gun raised as he reached the doorway to his kitchen. Tom held his breath, stepping forward.

He didn't quite have time to think 'oh shit' before something long and black came around the corner and hit his face so hard he lost consciousness.

~~

When he woke, it was quiet except for low chatter. The absence of noise from the geese made him nervous, before he remembered what had happened. Why was he awake? Why hadn't they killed him in his sleep?

He opened his eyes and looked down at himself. His limbs weren't tied, which struck Tom as odd until he tried to move - but his mind was sluggish and his limbs wouldn't cooperate.

"Yeah, I mean that's close, right?" came a woman's voice, one that he realized he recognized. "Ow. Christ, that hurts. Be careful would you?"

"Sorry, but it's the best I can do right now. Oh, hey, look who's up."

He recognized the man who came into his field of vision. Darker skin, short well kept beard. Gabriel Reyes. He'd known him as Jack's partner, but he'd been on the news so much he had the face drilled into his mind. Tom had thought Reyes was just another victim, like him, but no. He was on _their_ side.

"Why... why're you..." Tom tried to speak, but his tongue was swollen.

"I was worried we'd need you alive to write a suicide note, but turns out that won't be necessary. Word to the wise about keeping a journal; they make forgeries so much easier, _pendejo_." Reyes said, looking him over. "I would say I owe you a congratulations for managing to kill one of us, but mostly you've made my life a lot harder."

Tom's head lolled forward and he blinked. His boots were covered in blood. There was a trail leading from the back door. God, what had they done to him when he was unconscious?

"Why you... doing this?" Tom managed, his voice cracking. His mouth was so dry. What had they given him?

"Because I need to know where you keep your receipts. No credit cards, no computers, smart if you want to hide. And you don't have any purchase checks for that sniper rifle, so where's your receipt? Did you throw it out?" Reyes asked, leaning in and taking his chin between his fingers, lifting his head by force. "Tell me."

Tom said nothing, only glared, or tried to. How could one of _them_ betray him?

"Riding high off... being famous, Reyes?" he asked, not answering the question. He wasn't going to give in. Not like this.

Reyes didn't let him go, his gloved hand tightening around his chin. "This goes one of two ways, I want you to know that."

"Easy way... or the hard way?" Tom couldn't help but smile.

"It's going to suck for you either way," Gabriel said. "The easy way was me sticking a needle in you while you were sleeping and you dying of an overdose. But you killed George and now you've got a busted nose, so that's out. I could torture you, but that's messy."

Torture him. God, Reyes was serious. It wasn't that he sounded menacing, it was that he _didn't_.

"So I want you to understand that there are only two options now. The first is that you tell me where you keep your receipts, and you die here. The second one is that you don't, or you lie to me." Reyes stared him down, almost like he was speaking to a child too stupid to understand. "If you do that, then I have to make sure people don't ask too many questions. You have a family. A mom. A dad. A sister. Are you following me?"

Tom hoped he wasn't.

"Because I have to make sure they _don't_ ask too many questions."

Tom felt himself trembling, wishing he could be sick. His body wretched, but his gag reflex felt loose, probably from whatever Gabriel had given him.

"You can't... you're... you're a fucking _monster_!" He wanted to scream more, to call for help, to cry, and god, he could feel that he was crying, tears streaming down his face.

"Yeah? Well, you just had to take the money," Reyes said. "Where are your receipts?"

"...the safe. Combination is seven, five, seven, nine." Tom let it spill, closing his eyes as Reyes finally let him go, letting his face fall forward. "It's in the-"

"Already found it. Thanks for being helpful though. I'm sure your little sister will appreciate it, even if she doesn't know."

"When they... when Jack and Maggie find out..." His arm was moving, his finger sliding around something, but his eyes were so blurry with tears he couldn't focus on it. "When they know what you are, they'll never forgive you... they'll take you and SEP down."

Reyes didn't say anything. Instead he stuck a finger, hard, into Tom's jaw, hinging it open before he pushed something thick between his teeth. It tasted like metal.

"Yep, combination works. Ah, here we go. All set." The woman's voice again, even though Tom couldn't see her. "Let's get out of here."

Tom felt his finger pull the trigger.

~~

"Three..."

Jack had always wanted to try this.

"Two..."

Maggie held up her hand, and Jack bumped it.

"One..."

The rush of wind against his face, the moment when he lost his breath, when he started to free-fall through the air before he finally let loose his parachute, it was perfect. Dangerous and thrilling. It reminded him of when they'd ridden the old motorcycle off the roof of the barn, or hell, even when he'd been with Gabriel with his arms trapped. The kind of high few things in life had to offer.

Hitting the ground in the middle of Santa Fe had been a lot less fun. It was worse this far into the city, where the factory district ended and led into more populated areas. According to what they'd heard when they'd had the situation described, this was where, in the middle of the day, Omnics had emerged and just started to kill people. The smell had become even more rotten and putrid, if possible, and while Jack had hoped he would get used to it sooner or later, he didn't. Instead he kept their mission statement in mind and tried to focus only on what they knew.

"Heat signatures indicate that there's a group of civilians still contained inside our blast zones. The fear is that after the bombings, our chance of rescuing them is getting smaller, and the Omnics seem to have picked up on our plan. When we bomb, they seem to be able to analyze our patterns, while these people have no way of knowing. Our mission is to get as many civilians out of the blast radius as we can. We're going to have to walk them out when we find them, because we can't risk landing a plane, and we've lost four tanks in the past three days in the north sector alone. We're going in as small groups of strike teams, six each. Except you, Morrison. You're short a partner, so you're with Erikson's team."

Thank Christ Erikson's team had included Maggie, because if anything Nathan's level of hostility had increased. Jack still wasn't sure what the hell his problem was.

They'd dropped first thing in the morning and traveled for most of the day, finding nothing. The difference between this mission and the previous ones was there was no going home at the end of the night; they slept in the city and kept a rotating watch. Jack had been so exhausted that he'd been out like a light when they finally stopped - but when he woke every single part of him ached. It hadn't helped much that Nathan had kicked him in the leg to get him up.

"Wake up, cocksucker."

Jack hadn't retaliated because he hadn't seen the point of it, which only seemed to piss of Nathan more as the other man glared down at him. "You actually getting up, or too much the fucking hero to do your job?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake," Jack said, not rising to the bait.

"Oh yeah, I'm _sure_ you're wide awake after you got to party all night in New York." Nathan said, scowl deeply embedded on his face. He could not have possibly looked less like his uncle in that moment. The Colonel, while not as attractive, at least had the decency of being unreadable ninety percent of the time.

Jack had stared at him dumbly, not even sure what that meant. "Okay?"

"You two want to talk a little louder?" Maggie had muttered from under her blanket. "I'm sure there's a couple of bastions around who don't know we're here yet."

That had been the end of it, but it still left Jack feeling uneasy.

The next day had been much the same until around ten o'clock.

Jack had been left near the back of their small strike team, near Maggie and her partner Nadia, while Nathan had led them. Twice Nadia mentioned off-hand that no one had checked their compass and a map in over two hours, but Nathan seemed confident in his sense of direction, which didn't go over very well with anyone else.

Then Maggie grabbed hold of Jack's arm, coming to a stop before she whispered, "Nadia, hey, look up there." She pointed with her free hand, directing Nadia and Jack's attention to one of the skyscrapers that had toppled over and come to rest against the one beside it, creating a strange lean-to.

"Yeah, what do you...?" Nadia trailed off, and Jack realized he must have seen it the same time she did. A glint of something bouncing off glass before it was gone. Then it went away, then it came back. A signal.

"A signal?" Jack asked, watching as it flashed again. Three short. Three long. Three more short. Then it started again.

"Morse Code. Someone's sending out an SOS." Nadia grinned and Maggie nodded.

"Our missing civilians."

~~

Thinking about Jack naked was, among other things, a good distraction. Gabriel tried to focus in on his face, remember how his half-closed eyes had fluttered, his breath coming so quickly when he was on the edge. Gabriel would have given someone, anyone, a fair bribe if it meant he could hit a gear store. Get some real handcuffs, maybe a cock ring and a butt plug for his new fuck-buddy. He could get more elaborate, but he tried to stay somewhat practical. He could improvise, if he had to.

The shirt had made good temporary restraint, because of course Jack had been afraid of ripping it, but a sheet could work, or maybe a repurposed strap from medbay. Nipple clamps were easy - a couple of clothespins from the laundry made good substitutes. Lube was harder. He'd heard you could use egg whites, but that wasn't really a theory he wanted to test out, and it also made for a complicated request. A quick question at the kitchen could probably land him some olive oil, at least, but that still left him shit out of luck on the condom situation. He could always just ask if Jack was alright going without, but-

"Mr. Reyes?"

And that brought him crashing back to reality and all the things Gabriel didn't want to think about. It meant that George was dead, and Abbey needed to have surgery on her leg from when they'd gotten it out of the fucking bear trap, and it meant that...

" _You're a fucking monster_!"

Dr. Okoye stood before him, in front of the medbay doors, arms crossed as she patiently observed him. He didn't think he'd fallen asleep, but she could have been standing there for a while. It was hard to tell. He hadn't slept except for a few hours on the plane on the way there and the way back. Sloppy. If he'd been more alert, more capable, maybe then he would have seen the trap before Abbey had stepped in it and maybe George would be...

No point in dwelling.

"Sorry, doc. Long couple of days," Gabriel said, sitting up and looking her over. They'd never been alone before, yet there they were in the waiting room, with no one to interrupt them.

"I do not doubt it," she said, sitting down beside him. "I was sorry to hear about Mr. Parsons. Your file indicated the two of you have known each other for some time."

He hadn't disliked George. They weren't friends, because the man didn't talk much and when he did it was often slow and poorly thought out. George had been distant, and Abbey sometimes would call him broken. Wrong word, Gabriel had always thought. Psychopath. The kind of guy who would have carried out the threat Gabriel had made against Tom's family without thinking twice about it. 'Competent' had been how Gabriel had thought about George.

Now he was dead.

"We weren't expecting him to be so prepared for us. It won't happen again." The fucker had paid for everything in cash, and the trap had been old, a bit rusty. He had found more around the property once he'd known what to look for. Then the geese. Who'd have thought shithawk geese could be used as guard dogs? He'd never look at the bastards the same way again.

"Still, I was told you dealt with the situation... admirably, to cover up our involvement."

Broken nose meant that Gabriel had needed to use a shotgun for the suicide. No face left. Abbey had killed the geese and dragged their bodies over to where George had been shot - and she'd been caught in the trap. The suicide note had been good (sometimes he wondered about Abbey's parents and how annoying it must have been to have someone who could so capably forge their signatures living in their house). Lots of talk about how the geese were never quiet, how Tom had felt like a failure, blah, blah, blah. A bloody knife left behind with his fingerprints on it, and his boots carefully worn to display goose entrails and feathers.

Even tired, even with Abbey in rough shape with a towel wrapped around her leg and George's body in a garbage bag, it had been good. Unfortunately, probably newsworthy, but an elaborate and messy suicide with a 'crazy veteran' who had been in a 'training exercise accident' would probably keep reporters far away from SEP.

"Like you said, it had to be done," Gabriel said, eyes flickering towards the light to see if Abbey was out of surgery yet. No such luck.

"You are a practical man," Dr. Okoye said.

"I've been told." Gabriel said, leaning his elbows on his knees, unsure of what the doctor wanted from him.

"I mean that as a compliment, though some might not see it as such," Dr. Okoye said. "Most people like their heroes black and white. Grand paladins riding into the sunset, saving the world and leaving no room for questions. Often times, we pretend otherwise until faced with real challenges. We pretend we can make the hard choices, even when we are unable to."

She took off her glasses, taking a cloth from her pocket and beginning to clean them. "Most will flock to John Morrison and those like him. Protectors of the innocent and defenders of the weak. The heroes of the world. But you and I, I think, know something that they do not."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, "And what's that, doc?"

Dr. Okoye put her glasses back on, hands back in her pocket. "That the world will not be saved by heroes, Mr. Reyes. The world will be saved by practical men, like you. Practical women, like me. By those of us who understand that the world is not black and white, and that sometimes sacrifices must be made. That, if you'll excuse the reference, the good of the many must always outweigh the good of the few."

The last line made Gabriel smile. He wasn't sure at what point the conversation had helped him relax a little - in part it was just Okoye's voice, because really, the woman ought to record an album - though any mention of a genre classic won him over a little.

"Sounds a bit like a supervillain monologue if you ask me," Gabriel said, eyes back on the light over the door.

She laughed, which was a little startling. He hadn't guessed she would be capable of it.

"Perhaps. What's that saying? Every villain is a hero in their own mind?" Dr. Okoye asked, and there was a hint of a smile on her face. "I do not care much for history will remember me, in the end. Right now, with all that has happened, I only wish to ensure that the human race survives this crisis. My circumstances mean that I cannot fight, so instead I use the tools that I have to the best of my ability. What would you do, do you think, if it meant saving everyone on this Earth?"

A silly question, because Gabriel sincerely doubted he'd ever be placed in that situation. Considering she'd only just mentioned that people always thought they knew the answer to those kinds of questions, it almost felt like a test. He could be like Jack, the hero, willing to throw his life away to save even one other innocent person, or maybe like Nathan, the coward, who would only ever act to save his own skin. Neither one, really. All things being equal, she was right. He was a practical man.

"Exactly what I'd have to."

~~

The twenty or so survivors they'd found were in rough shape. They'd run out of food days ago, most too afraid of more bombs and the Omnics to go out searching for any kind of rations. By the time they'd managed to do a count of what was left, there was half of a water bottle and a potted aloe vera plant that someone had tried. The man's exact words were, "It's edible but I don't recommend it."

What annoyed Jack the most was that he'd managed to get in a very loud fight with Nathan about the whole thing.

"If we have to move twenty people out of this city, we can't do it while they're starving!"

"Then they'll just have to learn to fucking march! There are six of us, and it might take another day to get out of this city! What do we do if we starve?" Nathan had demanded.

"We're trained to deal with it, and they aren't! Some of these people are elderly – hell, some of them are kids! You want me to explain to them that they have to march for a full day on an empty stomach?" Almost, _almost_ , Jack wanted Nathan to throw the first punch so he'd have an excuse.

"Tell you what," Maggie had said, trying to get between them, despite a small effort by Nadia to grab her arm and keep her from doing it, "how about everyone in the squad who's willing to give up their rations does it, and everyone who doesn't can keep theirs?"

"What, so _I_ get to be the bad guy now?" Nathan snapped.

Then one of the kids started crying, which seemed to make Maggie the unofficial winner of the debate. The other five members of the squad, and a very, _very_ reluctant Nathan gave out their rations. They weren't much, and especially weren't much to distribute among such a large group, but it felt right.

"Thanks for having my back," he said to Maggie when they started to move out again.

"Hey, you have media immunity or whatever. Plus, like, everyone heard you." She shrugged. "They won't make it if we don't take care of them." She smiled a little, looking strangely nervous, which Jack wasn't used to from her. "But hey, if we don't all die, you owe me dinner, okay?"

"You'll owe all of us dinner," Nadia said, reemerging from handing out her rations, "but for now Nathan wants you at the back guarding the civilians."

Jack stared, "What, by myself?"

"That's crazy. What if something happens?" Maggie demanded.

"We can stand around fighting about it some more, or we can do what we're told and get out of this hell hole a lot sooner," Nadia said, jerking her thumb. "I'm for sooner. Get moving, Morrison."

Jack did as he was told, a sharp twinge of fear twisting in his gut. God, Nathan was going to get them all killed, and for what? Petty... jealousy? Genuine dislike of Gabriel that was coming around on his partner? Either way, bullshit, but Nadia wasn't wrong. Too much noise - and with twenty civilians there was _plenty_ of that - would draw the Omnics down on them for sure. Better to get moving while they still could.

They walked for hours, or so Jack gauged from the movement of the sun and the fact that he was getting hungry. That probably meant it was long past lunch. The buildings were slowly becoming slightly less bombed out too, and there were fewer bodies on the streets, which helped with the smell.

Even though Jack was mainly keeping an eye out, every sliding piece of debris catching his attention, a cawing crow nearly startling him enough to pull the trigger on his foot, the civilians kept drawing his attention away.

They looked awful. Skinny children that seemed permanently affixed to their parent's legs, and the three elderly men and one woman clinging to the younger adults for support. Their clothes were a mess, and most were coated with dirt and blood. It was a weird contrast to being out with Gabriel the previous night in New York. A bizarre clash that churned his stomach because he just didn't know _why_. How could both places be in the same country?

"Hey, uh." One of the civilians, a dark haired man with a two week old beard, hung back to talk to him. "I wanted to say thanks. For the food. We could have maybe done it but the kids... anyway I know you were fighting for us. It means a lot to know that we're not just... that you're here to help us."

Jack forced himself to relax for a moment, giving a small smile. "We're all going to survive. I'm not letting anyone get left behind, okay?"

The man nodded, hugging himself. "Still, it means a lot. Knowing you've got our backs."

"You didn't sign up for this and we did. That's just-" Jack stopped, catching something out of the corner of his eye. Glinting steel. "EVERYONE GET DOWN!" He grabbed hold of the man, dragging him to the ground before the turret fire sounded, flying around them as the civilians and soldiers hit the pavement.

Jack looked around, spotting an old supermarket. "Keep your heads down, head for that building! Serpentine! Go!" He waved at the civilians, some of whom started to move - but some, he gauged, were paralyzed with fear.

The man he'd pulled down glanced at him, breathing hard and probably scared out of his mind. "We can't leave them!"

Jack nodded, standing and watching as his fellow soldiers started to rally, coming to his side and ducking down.

"We have to get the civilians out of the way!" he called to Maggie, raising his rifle and firing off a rocket in the general direction of the bastion.

She nodded before Nadia knelt down beside them. "You three, go! I'll cover you! We're close enough to the pickup point now, they might be able to send reinforcements! Move it!"

Jack nodded, dodging back and forth before he dipped down, taking hold of one of the older men while Maggie took a terrified teenager. The other civilian picked up two children, and with that the three of them ran towards the building.

Jack set the old man down, helping the civilian with the children while Maggie started to shout into her radio, pressed up against the wall in case they were followed. "Watchtower, this is Team Alpha Four! We have twenty-two civilians and request immediate evacuation! Hostiles are inbound! Our position-"

He lost track of what she was saying because one of the children grabbed hold of Jack's sleeve, tears streaming down from her eyes. "Mister soldier, please, I think they shot my daddy, please help him!"

The civilian he'd been talking to. Jack went to the man's side as he knelt down, gripping his shoulder. He was putting up a brave front, but his body was shaking and he was getting pale. "Shit I... I never thought getting shot would hurt... hurt this much..."

"Hey, it's okay, I've got you," Jack said, sitting him down, wincing when something hit the wall of the building, making the foundation shake and bits of the ceiling land on their heads. "I've got you, we'll get this wrapped up. Hey, look at me, _look at me_!"

The man laid back, his eyes going a bit wild, but he seemed a little alert. No exit wound. The bullet was still inside him.

"Hey, I've got you. What's your name?" Jack asked, taking off his jacket and pressing it against the man's wound. Trying to stop the bleeding. "Come on man, tell me your name."

"Jon, I'm... I'm Jon Goldman."

"Jon, huh?" Jack asked, holding the jacket against him as closely as he could. "I'm John too. World's full of coincidences, huh?"

~~

No civilian casualties. That's what they'd told him on the plane back to the base, before they'd washed him and the rest of their team off and sent them to get their injections. Jack had stood in the shower for a long time, probably longer than necessary - especially for the medbay showers, where it was always cold enough to freeze his balls off.

He felt like he couldn't get Jon Goldman's blood off his hands.

They'd _said_ that no civilians had died, but some would probably still be in surgery. He wasn't the only one who'd been hit, and one of the SEP soldiers had taken a shell to the stomach so there was... there had been nothing left of him. Just a crater up against the edge of the building where Jack, Maggie, and the civilians had been.

For once he didn't complain about his injections, and when he was done he'd just watched his feet the whole way back to his room. He was vaguely aware that Maggie had patted his shoulder and said something to him, but she had looked like hell too. Paler than usual, and when she'd walked away he'd seen her shoulder hit the wall, almost like she hadn't realized it was there.

"I still owe you dinner at some point." He didn't know if he'd said it, or just thought it.

Walking into his dark room, he hoped that he'd find Gabriel on the couch, already back from his mission. Weber had said that Gabriel already had his injections, which should have meant he was asleep on the couch, but he wasn't in their shared space. The shared space that was in chaos.

Christ, it was a _mess_ , and not in a way that Jack's mind could rectify for a moment. There were three towels on the floor, which was weird because neither of them ever left them there, and the table that held their HoloTV had been flipped over, covering the floor with shattered electronics. All of their recordings had been dumped in - and around - the trash bin below their sink. The sink was also _on_ , and the fridge door was open.

Almost on autopilot, Jack wandered around the room, turning off the tap, checking the fridge temperature to make sure their leftovers hadn't gone bad, picking up the towels and putting them away. He even swept up the broken electronics and took the recordings out of the trash. It felt good. Methodical. It even helped to edge out the nausea that was starting to flare up in his stomach, even if by the time he was done he felt sort of dizzy.

He should go to bed, he knew that, but instead he went to Gabriel's door, knocking softly. "Gabe?"

No answer.

He should have left it, but no matter how much he wanted to fight it... he didn't want to be alone.

"I'm coming in," he said, a little louder, as he pressed inside.

Gabriel was curled up in his sheet on the bed, back to the door. His fingers were clenched on his pillow, which was the first indicator that he might be awake – that, and the slight irregularities of his breathing.

"Turn up the heat, I'm freezing." That was a second indicator, even though Gabriel didn't turn to look at him.

Jack went to fiddle with the thermometer before he moved to the side of the bed and sat down, not knowing what else to do with himself. His legs were starting to shake, which could have been from the drugs, but it could have been... could have been a million things.

"How did it go?" Gabriel asked, still not looking at him.

"Search and rescue stuff in the Red Zone," Jack said, staring at his lap. "You know, stuff that looks good for the cameras. It was..." He leaned forward, feeling like an immense weight was pressing against his shoulders. "I hate it out there. Knowing that there are people still trapped and we're just... here."

The logical part of him knew that they needed to rest. They needed their injections too, and if they didn't get them then SEP as a whole was sort of a moot point. And then they needed the day to recover, and then... then it would be back again.

Gabriel didn't say anything.

"Roman died. He was uh... Nathan's partner. He got... I guess it'll be an empty casket funeral." What a weird thing to say.

"George is dead," Gabriel said, wrapping the sheet around his shoulders more tightly, "so I guess that we're not invulnerable after all. Nothing like a bullet to the skull or... whatever the fuck the bastions shot at Roman."

"Shit," was all Jack could think to say, looking back at the door and thinking about the room outside. "Was that why...?" Maybe better not to ask.

"I'm not a monster," Gabriel said, catching Jack off guard.

"You're not a...? No, of course you're not," Jack said, turning on the bed, suddenly unsure of what the right move here was. He'd seen Gabriel lose his temper with Nathan before, but this seemed different.

"I get the job done, and it's not always pretty, and people get hurt, and sometimes you have to play dirty, but I'm not some psycho they can just let loose whenever-" Gabriel turned, sitting up like he planned to get out of the bed before he stopped, grabbing his head. "Christ that _hurts_."

"Hey, come on, lay down," Jack mumbled quietly, lightly pressing Gabriel's shoulder. The other man didn't fight him. "I know you're not."

" _Do_ you?" Gabriel asked, looking away. "That's why you're into me, right? Because you want someone to hurt you?"

Jack winced. He couldn't exactly argue that.

"No it's... at first, yeah. I can't pretend that didn't get me going," Jack said, stroking Gabriel's shoulder absently. Gabriel made no effort to make Jack stop. "But I like the other parts... that you love bad acting, that you're in a band, that all those people we met... they all give a shit about you. Hell, they love you."

He lay down beside Gabriel, which made the other man shift to give him some room. Not turning him away, like Jack had been afraid he might.

"You saved my life. I'm not leaving out that part either." Jack found his head resting on the edge of Gabriel's shoulder, the sheet the only thing that kept them from full-body contact. He watched Gabriel's chest move up and down, breath getting more even. "I don't know what happened out there but I do know one thing: you're not a monster."

Gabriel snorted, his arm slipping out from under the sheet and wrapping around Jack's shoulder, pulling him a little closer. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Jack."

"Ah, well," Jack mumbled, closing his eyes and feeling sleep start to catch up with him, "I'm willing to find out."


	9. Month Three

Jack had moved back to his room when he was sure Gabriel was asleep, a little too nervous about the prospect of being discovered in his partner's bedroom to stay the night. Even for a little while it had been nice, though. Intimate.

Of course, thanks to feeling sick to his stomach the rest of the night, he didn't sleep well, despite knowing that he desperately needed it.

 _I'm not a monster_. What the hell had that _meant_? Well, aside from the obvious 'something happened on the mission that upset him.' Jack didn't exactly need a Masters in psychology to put that together. Did he blame himself for George's death? It felt like a good guess.

That kept him awake for most of the night. Being violently ill kept him up for the rest of it.

Eventually, around four-thirty in the morning, Jack gave up and went to the cafeteria, getting a head start on everyone else. By the time he arrived there his legs were shaking and he had to hug the wall for support. The usual five-minute walk had taken closer to fifteen, but he was blissfully almost alone except for one chef and, oddly enough, Abbey.

She sat beside a table, reading what looked like some kind of report, sitting in a wheelchair with her left leg propped up in a thick cast. She didn't notice him when he came in, reaching over and taking her coffee to sip at it without glancing over. Jack doubted that she'd had her injections – she wasn't pale enough - but she also didn't look great.

"Abbey?" he asked, heading in her direction. "I didn't think you'd be up."

"Hm? Oh, blondie, hey." She blinked once or twice, not smiling. "I woke up a few hours ago. Restless. Hospital beds freak me out." She set the file on the table beside her. "Why are you awake? It's... well, ball-numbingly early."

Jack just shrugged, sitting down beside her. "Couldn't sleep. How's your leg?" He didn't even remember Gabriel saying she'd been injured, but then again, he hadn't asked.

"Not bad. I'm on a truck load of painkillers, though. Do you think doctors always say 'another inch to the left and you'd have lost the leg', or is that just like... a _thing_ they feel compelled to mention?" She shook her head, face unreadable. "Weird, man."

Jack smiled, even though he wasn't sure he had an answer for that. The file on the table caught his attention, though. He recognized the photograph. Jon Goldman. _World's full of coincidences, huh?_ What were the chances of that?

_Dear mom and dad. Weird week I've had._

"So... he is your brother?"

"The very same. What're the chances of that?" Abbey said, putting her finger on the paper and twirling it around on the table. "The kids are alright. He's in rough shape though. Doesn't get access to all our fancy technology. He'll live." She smirked. "I ought to cut off your foot and wear it around my neck for luck. Or maybe I'll start calling you 'lucky Jack' instead of blondie."

"Not the foot thing, please," Jack said, taking a closer look at her. She reminded him a bit of Gabriel like this. At least, they both seemed to be sharing the same level of melancholy. "Hey, I hope this doesn't come off as weird but... are you okay?"

"Am I...? Well, I mean, as okay as someone who stepped in a bear trap can be. A bear trap. I mean really, who the fuck uses a bear trap?" Abbey asked, seeming eager to dismiss it. "Why do you ask?"

"Okay, yeah I walked into that." Jack sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I meant... you and Gabriel seem... I know you guys knew George for a long time. He just seemed upset. So I thought maybe..." What, that she would also be upset, all things considered? "I mean, he was your partner."

"Yeah, but I wasn't fucking him." Abbey grinned, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I don't think that'd really change things," Jack said, and it wasn't a lie on his part. They spent so much time together it was hard not to imagine feeling... what? Something, certainly. Even if he and Gabriel weren't doing... whatever it was they were doing now, he didn't think he'd have taken it well. Thinking too hard about it meant he had to think about Gabriel being dead, though.

God, what if that had been what happened? If Abbey and George had come back from the mission and told him that...

"Sex always changes things," Abbey said, rolling back from the table. "Come on, I want some coffee. I haven't fucking slept."

Jack followed her without comment, wanting the coffee just as badly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Sorry, you...? Jesus, listen, Lucky.” Abbey rolled her eyes, grabbing hold of a mug and reaching haplessly for sugar. "My family could have died. They didn't. You don't have to act like I'm mad at you for being your usual heroic self."

Jack slid the dish a little closer and she rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"Sorry," he said, reflexively.

"Christ, how did his fucking Majesty wind up with you?" Abbey looked at him, shaking her head and snatching the sugar out of his hand. She tore it open, nearly spilling it into her lap. "Oh god damnit..." She sighed, massaging her forehead.

Jack shifted, not knowing what to say. Instead, he let her compose himself.

"Look. I'm the one who should be sorry. But, you know, no sleep. George is dead. Jon and the kids are alive. Stepped in a bear trap. I've had a rough twenty four hours." She looked at him, shaking her head. "You're fine. Do your Prince Charming thing." She dumped the sugar in her coffee. "Fucking _bear trap_. I thought I was going to die."

"I think he was really afraid for you," Jack said, hugging himself and staring at his coffee cup. He'd have to bring Gabriel one too.

"Did he break something?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah. The HoloTV," Jack said, then he felt his eyes go wide. "Shit, don't tell him I said that. I was just going to lie and say I tripped and grabbed it."

"Heh, good one." Abbey smiled, stirring cream into her coffee. "When I first brought Gabe home, I woke up in the middle of the night to him smashing a lamp. Not on purpose. I think he probably had a nightmare. He tried to play it off like he'd been stretching." She poured a second cup of coffee, sliding it over to Jack before she continued.

"Look, you tell him I said this and I'll deny it, but you be good to him." She sipped at her drink. "The only family he has now is the one he's making for himself. I don't know if you two are just fuck-buddies or if you're dating or what but... Also, when you get the HoloTV fixed, he really likes 'Nightmare Before Christmas'. And he'll try and deny it, but if you just put it on he won't put up a fuss." She smirked,."Whiny crybaby."

Jack had no idea whether she was referring to him, or to Gabriel, but he found himself smiling anyway. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

"I owed you one," Abbey said, shrugging. "And owed him one. If he hadn't... I'd have died. If he hadn't been there, one bullet straight through the skull." She sighed. "Sleep. I need sleep. And a new leg."

Jack nodded, "Okay. And... you know, all things in perspective... I liked him. Jon. He was a good guy. Even before I knew you were related."

"Oh please, no one would ever know. He's nothing like me," Abbey said, smiling. "It's why I always worry about him."

~~

He could hear his abuelita, her voice as clear as when he'd been a kid, sing-songy as she rambled off Juan's favorite song. "What beautiful eyes you have, they love you watching me..." Her leathery hands stroked his face, and her near-toothless mouth smiled at him. "You should have been a musician, like me. Your mama would have hated that. Play 'Back in Black' for me, kiddo, you know I love a good tune."

She laughed, and blood poured out of her mouth, just like it had the last few days at the hospital, when she'd wasted away to nothing.

Gabriel was running to the bathroom before he even fully realized what he was doing, nearly tripping over his own feet before he threw himself on the floor and lost the very little dinner he'd coaxed himself into having.

He wretched a few more times before his shoulders sank and he finally felt his body relax, muscles slowly letting go of tension as he flushed the toilet.

Sitting back against the wall, he tried not to think about whatever the dream had been. His abuelita, that he remembered, but... already it was fading away.  It hadn't been good, though. Not shocking, he never slept well if he lost... lost someone.

 _When they know what you are, they'll never forgive you_. That little shit, Tom. Why couldn't he have just gone down easy? Taken the money like a sane person instead of pulling some hero shit...

Hero shit.

"Jack?" he called, his voice weak. He remembered Jack had come back, and when he'd fallen asleep his partner had been laying beside him, but he hadn't been there now (or if he had then Gabriel had absolutely run over him on the way to the bathroom).

With shaky legs, Gabriel made his way back to the door, but their shared living space was empty. It took him a moment longer to register that their HoloTV was gone before he remembered that was his fault too. He'd wanted to soothe his nerves while he waited for Abbey to wake up, or Jack to come back (if he was coming back, because they'd said the mission could take a few days, which meant Jack could be dead too. Dead on the streets in Sante Fe somewhere without someone to watch his back, coughing up blood or trapped or-)

Then he'd thrown the HoloTV up against the wall, and things got blurry until Jack had come and lain on the bed beside him while Gabriel felt too sick to move. It had been easy to fall asleep like that, even if he'd felt too damn hot by the end of it, but...

He needed to stop being so sentimental.

"Jack?" he called again, opening the door to his rookie's room - but he wasn't there either. Didn't look like he'd slept there, for that matter, but he could have been on the couch. The alternative was that Gabriel had dreamed the whole thing. That Jack was still in Santa Fe without him.

Pushing the image of Jack on the ground with a bullet through his skull out of his mind, Gabriel reminded himself that _someone_ had thrown away the HoloTV, and it wasn't him. "Get your shit together."

He leaned under the tap, filling his mouth with water and rising it out, trying to get his bearings and make his legs stop shaking. Fucking injections. That was all it was. The mission and the dream had nothing to do with it.

Closing his eyes, Gabriel focused on his own breathing, his own form of silent meditation. _Abbey Goldman is alive and fine. Jack Morrison is alive and fine. Thomas Bowman is dead. George Parsons is dead. Juan Goldman is alive and he is in New York. You are Gabriel Reyes. You are fine._ He stood up straight, his stomach feeling settled. Good. Sometimes it took longer, and he didn't have the patience for it just then. He needed to find Abbey and Jack.

He went to medbay first, but of course by the time he arrived Weber just told him that Abbey had already been up and then gone back to sleep. That, and that they'd found her brother.

"You'll have to get the details from Ms. Goldman. However, he was successfully extracted. From what I've heard your partner made the news again. Some very nice images of him carrying wounded civilians shot from a helicopter." Gabriel liked Weber better when the man wasn't sticking him with needles, but not that much better. "Perhaps we should make him our poster boy."

"Yeah, I'll pass along the memo," Gabriel said, heading on his way again.

No sign of Jack in the rec room, but Gabriel did find an exhausted looking Nadia and Maggie in the cafeteria.

"Hey, Jack said you were back," Maggie said, her usual friendly self - though Gabriel detected a hint of something in her voice. Nerves, if he had to guess. He remembered Jack saying something about Roman needing a closed casket funeral.

Nadia had fallen asleep sitting up.

"Yeah. He was here?" Gabriel asked, nudging the tall woman - which nearly made her topple over, but she caught herself, sticking out her tongue at him.

Maggie smiled. "Yeah. I thought he was headed back to your room. He said he didn't sleep very well. I don't blame him. Injections." She rubbed her arm, and Gabriel gave her a sympathetic nod, not wanting to immediately bail. "Some of the other teams aren't back yet. I think they're flying them back so we'll be ready on Monday..."

"Probably. Hey, did Jack grab my coffee or should I get another one?" Gabriel said, hoping to end the conversation before they got too much further. They might ask about George and Abbey and he just...

 _When they know what you are, they'll never forgive you._ Right. Maggie had been in Tom's training group too.

"Oh. Uh, yeah he had two. I think he had bagels too," Maggie said, blinking.

"You okay?" Nadia asked him, still looking a blink away from falling asleep. "Abs looked fucked up."

"I've had better mornings. See you later." Gabriel waved and walked away, stopping by to have a quick word with a line cook before he headed back to the room. He tried not to talk to anyone on the way, wishing he'd just stayed in bed and waited. Better off avoiding every single one of the bastards right now, until the rumors spread and everyone knew better than to ask him about George or the mission.

The mission was easier. That could be brushed off with, "Top secret".

Of course, of fucking _course_ when he got back, Jack was in the shower. This time he didn't follow, instead making himself busy. He realized that Jack must have asked for a new HoloTV because there was a box on the coffee table, along with his mug, and, of all the things, a copy of 'Nightmare Before Christmas'.

"Thoughtful bastard." Gabriel found himself smiling. Jack was getting good at ruining a perfectly good bad mood - though he suspected the movie was Abbey's doing, since he'd never mentioned it.

He sipped at his coffee and set about setting up the new set, idly wondering if they had spares in the janitor's closet, or in the small library of recordings where he picked up most of their shows and the news broadcasts. Maybe he wasn't the first soldier who had wrecked a relatively expensive piece of electronics. That almost made it worse, because it meant he was letting things get to him. That he was like other people. _Not so above it all_.

It didn't take long to figure out what wires needed to be put where, and he was just putting on the finishing touches when Jack emerged from the shower, smiling when he spotted Gabriel. The farm boy still looked paler than usual, a little shaky, but that was to be expected.

"I guess I missed you in the cafeteria," Jack said, heading towards his room - but Gabriel reached out and caught his wrist as he walked by.

"Abbey was there?" He already knew the answer, but it was the first question he thought to ask. He liked Jack in a towel. It helped show off the muscle he'd built up over the past few months. That, and his new scars.

"Yeah," Jack said, letting Gabriel draw him down onto the floor, "she seemed okay. Shaken, but okay."

"I only asked if she was there, not for her life story,” Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow.

Jack blushed, looking away. "Well, I mean, I sort of guessed you might have gone to see her and she said she was sleeping so I thought-"

"Jackie, I _know,_ " Gabriel said, guiding Jack's hips into his lap. "Anyone ever tell you that you over-think shit?"

"I was just..." Jack shivered when Gabriel dug his fingers into his hips, the blush getting deeper, his ears going a bit pink. "I was worried about you. Last night you were-"

Gabriel took the back of Jack's neck, pressing him against his lips, cutting off any chance to talk. This was better than talking, especially with Jack's naked skin against him, vulnerable and exposed. Even exhausted, even with everything that had happened, it was easier to focus on things he enjoyed now. Easier for the taste of Jack's lips to turn him on, and for the memory of their night in the hotel to send tingles down his spine. Not like in the shower when he'd wanted something to focus on.

Now he could bite Jack's lips, push his tongue into his mouth, ravage him and leave him breathless. Could listen to Jack as he started to pant and grind his hips against Gabriel's lap. The towel started to come undone, slipping down between them, revealing Jack's half-hard member.

Nice to know that even tired and a little sick, it wasn't difficult to get Jack riled up.

Then he pulled back, catching his breath, putting his hand on Gabriel's chest, "Can I... your shirt?" He tugged at the hem, lifting it up over his stomach.

"Feeling a little eager, aren't we?" Gabriel asked, but he peeled it off and tossed it aside nonetheless. He enjoyed the way Jack's breath caught when he saw him. His lips were still red, glistening with spit from the kiss. Good enough to eat.

"I wanted to uh... return the favor?" Jack said, stroking Gabriel's chest, shifting closer. "You know... 'if we survive you can blow me', I think was what we agreed on?"

"Eager, aren't you?" Gabriel asked, smirking. "That desperate to make me happy?" He slipped his hand up, tangling it in Jack's hair and yanking his head back, forcing his back to arch and his hips to press against Gabriel's stomach. He grabbed Jack's cock with his free hand, squeezing the base of the shaft, drawing a cry of surprise, pain, and delicious arousal. "Maybe I should hold you down and fuck your throat until you black out." He twisted his fingers harder in Jack's hair, though it was difficult to get a grip when it was so short.

"Ah- Gabe, please, that... that hurts..." Jack said, not pushing away, but his fingers were tense on his chest.

The erection in his hand didn't seem to be fading at all, but Gabriel checked anyway. "Too much?"

"N-no..." Jack said, making a small motion like he meant to shake his head, which only tugged at his blond roots more.

 _Natural blond_. Gabriel couldn't help but chuckle at the thought, his fingers shifting at the base of Jack's shaft so that he could feel the fine blond pubes. "Good. But I'm going to stop asking. From now on, if it hurts too much, or you think you're going to freak out, or you're going to puke on me, you say 'basta!' Got it?"

"Like... like pasta?" Jack managed a small smile over his breathy arousal, and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Read a fucking book, Jackie." The bright side was nothing would turn him off faster than Jack trying to speak Spanish. It hadn't stopped Jack from squirming in his lap, though, so he tightened his grip around him. "And don't even think about coming until I say you can."

Jack moaned, trembling with his effort to stay still. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you want. Gabe, I'll... let me do it... like that night..." Gabriel squeezed him again, feeling his rigid length straining at his touch. "I want it to be like that..."

"Like what?" Gabriel asked, leaning in and kissing Jack's shoulder, pulling him closer.

"Like I'm yours," Jack said – before crying out when Gabriel bit down on him, hard enough to draw blood this time. "AH- please!"

Gabriel smiled, letting Jack go so he could slump against his chest for a moment -  before he grabbed his hips, standing and lifting him off the floor. Not as easy as it might have been when Jack first arrived, being a lot heavier with muscle than the skinny guy who had showed up the first day. Still doable, though.

Very doable.

"Gabe, come on, I can walk-" Jack tried to say, still panting, when Gabriel dropped him on the couch, sending him sprawling, the towel unwrapping like a present.

"You haven't done this before, so I'll be nice," Gabriel said, leaning over him on the couch, tugging down his pants. "The easiest way to do this is to relax your throat." He knelt over Jack, positioning his head for him, since Jack seemed a little dazed. "To let yourself be taken."

God, Jack looked good like that, with Gabriel's cock against his cheek, flushed and _ready_. It was going to be a fight not to take up his own suggestion, but Jack was still new at this. He didn't want to scare him off.

"Let yourself be used, Jack."

Jack moved, then his hands were on Gabriel's hips as his tongue slipped between his lips, gliding over the head of Gabriel's cock. It took every ounce of self-control Gabriel had to not drive forward and force Jack to take more. Instead he steadied himself on the armrest, holding himself over Jack to get a good look at his face. His ravaged pink lips opening to take Gabriel inside him, eyes half closed as he focused on his task. Almost like they were at the gun range, which was going to do nothing for Gabriel's concentration the next time they were there.

Almost as good as handcuffs, Jack's hands on Gabriel's hips meant he couldn't touch himself, and a cursory glance over Jack's shoulder told Gabriel everything he needed to know about whether or not Jack was enjoying himself.

Then, Jesus, Jack was moving his tongue over the slit, and Gabriel could hear his breath catching. No good. He liked to keep some illusion of control when he could, or else where was the fun? Besides the part where Jack pulled back, maybe a little surprised with himself, needing to catch his breath, before he tried again, taking more of Gabriel inside him. Soft, velvet heat engulfed him, and Gabriel watched as Jack's head started to bob up and down, sussing out a rhythm and how much he could take. Points for enthusiasm, anyway, even though every now and then when he gagged, Gabriel caught a hint of Jack's teeth. Not his favorite thing in the world, but then Jack would try harder to swallow more of him, and the spasming of his throat threatened to take Gabriel over the edge.

He wasn't going to come on Jack's face without warning him - there was a difference between joking and just being rude - but the idea of seeing Jack like that heightened the desire coiling in his stomach. "Jack... I'm going to..." Was that his voice? It didn't sound like him.

Instead of pulling away Jack's grip tightened on Gabriel's hips, driving forward until Gabriel felt his cock hit the back of Jack's throat. That took Gabriel over, and he came gasping into Jack's mouth, thrusting without intending to. Jack coughed, pulling back and covering his mouth, throat working as he tried to swallow instead of throwing up.

"Sorry," Gabriel said, taking Jack's shoulder as the other man turned away, wiping his mouth. He grabbed the towel, offering it to him.

Jack nodded his thanks, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "Thanks." He looked good enough to eat like that, his lips slick, face flush from breathing hard. Since Gabriel couldn't think of a reason not to, he leaned forward and kissed him, crushing Jack against the couch.

It was hard not to notice when Gabriel readjusted himself against Jack's body just how _very_ interested the other man still was. Interesting, because he'd thought the accidental thrust into his throat might have dampened things down. Another useful tidbit to keep in mind.

In the meantime he occupied himself with kissing Jack, tasting his own salt and sweat in his mouth before he pulled away, leaving Jack panting and desperate as he made a feeble attempt to grind his groin against Gabriel.

"It gets easier, the more you learn to relax." Gabriel grinned, running his finger down Jack's cheek. "But you made a good effort. How long have you wanted to do that?"

"I, uh..." Jack didn't seem entirely present. Not his fault, because now Gabriel was crushing him under his weight, trapping his rock-hard erection against his stomach so it would be hard to  move. "A while. So that I could... I wanted to be sure I could get you off." And then he blushed, which was sweet, but it also made Gabriel roll his eyes.

"Well, I'm not fucking you because I'm working charity cases," Gabriel said, standing up and heading towards the counter, feeling a little unsteady on his feet. Partly tired, partly endorphins, partly he still felt awful from the injections, and the rest... well, it was easier to ignore everything else when he had a good distraction.

Jack whined a little when he lost the contact against his groin, then covered his mouth  with embarrassment. Probably afraid to ask Gabriel to come back and finish the job. "No, it's not that I... I mean you could-"

Better to nip this in the bud. "Jack, turn over on your stomach and lay on the towel." Gabriel took the bottle of olive oil he'd commandeered from the kitchen. "If I didn't want to do this, I wouldn't be doing it." He wandered back over, pleased to find that Jack had already done as he was told, even as he looked up at him, all curiosity. "And you squirming and desperate like this?" He sat down on the couch, lifting Jack's hips and setting them in his lap, which elicited the exact hopeful moan he'd wanted. "That _really_ works for me."

Jack looked away, his grip on the couch tightening when Gabriel ran a finger over the cleft of his ass, cock twitching and dripping precum onto the towel under him.

"So, you want to moan for me to fuck you? You do it." Gabriel said, flicking open the lid of the bottle. "You want me to come inside you because you want to feel used?" He tipped it, letting the oil splash down Jack's back. "Then you do it. Because unless you tell me _very_ specifically you want me to stop, then I'm going to do whatever I want to you."

Jack's breath hitched when Gabriel pushed his index finger inside him, clenching involuntarily, but that just made Gabriel smile more.

"And what... what you do want to do to me?" Jack asked, fighting to relax.

"Right now?" Gabriel smirked. "I'm going to find out if I can make you come just by playing with your ass. So keep your hands above your head, and don't you dare try and touch yourself, or you don't get anything at all, because you only get what I give you from now on. Understand?"

Jack licked his lips, going to nod, but Gabriel chose that moment to shove his finger in deeper, making Jack yelp. "Y-Yes!"

Gabriel grinned. "Good boy."

Then he got to work.

~~

It had taken a frustratingly long time before Jack had finally orgasmed and Gabriel had left him to go and shower. Rather than get up and put on real clothes, Jack had fallen asleep on the couch, feeling a sense of relief that he hadn't been sure he'd ever feel again the night before.

Something nagged at him, the twisted sense that something was wrong with him, but he tried to ignore it. That he _shouldn't_ have wanted Gabriel in his mouth, or the moment when the other man had thrust into his mouth and Jack hadn't been able to breathe and his vision had whited out, and he had _liked_ it. That felt dangerous, but he'd wanted Gabriel to keep going. To take away his control and force Jack to swallow his cum.

Unhealthy, to say the least.

Then there had been the ordeal of Gabriel's fingers inside him, slick with whatever the hell he'd taken from the kitchen. It had hurt, but not in an unpleasant way, with Gabriel exploring his insides, forcing him apart and finding just the right spot inside him to leave him pleading and desperate. It had left an ache in his chest and made his cock fucking _weep_ , but Gabriel hadn't let up, even when Jack had begged him to touch him.

"Now I'll always know where to find it."

Jack couldn't see Gabriel's face when he finally came, but he'd imagined the look from when Gabriel had been inside his mouth. He wasn't even sure Gabriel realized how heavy his breathing had gotten, or how he'd mumbled Jack's name a few times when Jack had tried to swallow him. It hadn't been as easy as he'd hoped it would be, but when he'd made Gabriel come... well, just knowing he could had been encouraging. He'd meant what he said, he wanted to be sure he could do it, and weirdly it alleviated a lot of lasting anxiety to know Gabriel _probably_ hadn't intended to gag him.

He, Jack Morrison, had made Gabriel Reyes, at least temporarily, be unable to keep his own shit on lockdown. Of course, the other man had reclaimed his control very thoroughly, and Jack was sure he was going to have some trouble sitting straight because of it. No complaints from him, though.

_Dear mom and dad, how are you? Things have been a little intense around here lately. I helped rescue a bunch of civilians, but I nearly had one of them die in my arms. Also, my partner was sent on a secret mission that seems to have fucked him up. I think he was killing people, not bastions, and I don't know how to ask if he's okay because I've never killed anyone. Also, I just about choked on cum today._

He was almost glad he couldn't talk to them, because he honestly had no idea what he'd say. Somehow, now that he was actually in a relationship... or at least a sexual relationship, he felt like things would have been stranger. It wasn't something he ever really talked about with them, especially not with his Once or twice he'd brought it up in very vague terms with his mother, but that was all.

The couch shifted under him, and Jack realized he wasn't sure anymore if he had been asleep, or just so locked in thought that he hadn't noticed Gabriel getting out of the shower. He felt the towel get tugged out from under him, but he didn't move, not even when he felt a blanket get thrown over him.

Vaguely he thought, " _That's nice,_ " before he drifted off again.

Jack woke up again some time later when he heard Gabriel swearing in Spanish under his breath. The new HoloTV was on, but it sounded like the news - until whoever had been talking stopped mid-sentence, and Jack heard the scratching of pen on paper.

"Mhm... Gabe?" Jack mumbled, looking up from under his blanket.

Gabriel was sitting on the floor, with a notepad and some scattered pieces of paper in front of him, along with four recordings. His face was focused as he stared at the screen, which looked like a map of Russia on the border with Finland.

"What're you doing?"

Gabriel turned slightly, scratching his head. "I was just... you were asleep and I didn't want to start without you so I was checking the news and just..." He gestured at the screen, "There's something weird here."

Jack looked at the screen, then looked back at Gabriel, repeating his words. "Something weird?"

"Okay, hear me out." Gabriel tapped the screen. "First attack in Russia was St. Petersburg, as far as we know, right? Then all of a sudden the Omnics are mostly in Siberia, so we all thought that they were just using St. Petersburg as a distraction. Gather the Russian forces there, then they attack where the population is low for a full takeover. Makes sense, right?"

"Right, yeah, sure," Jack said, blinking as he sat up on the couch, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders.

"Thing is, it didn't exactly take them very long to do that. Less than a week. Then there's Santa Fe, they've been settled in there for almost a month now. Why haven't they attacked us again?" Gabriel asked, looking back at the screen.

Jack nodded, peering at the screen to get a better sense of what Gabriel was getting at.

"Then there's an attack in Berlin. That's the first capitol city they've attacked." Gabriel said, shaking his head, "Then they attack Eichenwalde almost a day later. You know where else they attacked?"

Jack hadn't been watching the news. "No idea."

"Lappeenranta in Finland, and Nogalas in Mexico," Gabriel said, tapping the screen, "Not big towns. Nothing special about them. So why the fuck are the Omnics attacking them?"

Jack felt a chill down his spine, because he did know one thing. Across the border from Nogales was Tucson, which was where the refugees from Santa Fe had been sent.

"What's between St. Petersburg and Lappeenranta?" Jack asked.

"Vyborg, apparently. Which, guess what?" Gabriel said, his hands notably shaking. "Where most of the Russian refugees have been sent, according to the news."

"So you think... what? The Omnics are using the multiple attacks on Germany as a distraction so that..." Jack's mouth felt dry suddenly. It made sense, though. The Omnics hadn't made any demands. No one had received any signs that there was some greater force controlling them. Everything they had done seemed random and purely destructive, but...

"They're rounding up refugees. Giving them enough time to get to the centers, attacking from across the border to funnel them together... but if all they want is to kill as many people as possible, what better way to do it?" Gabriel said, rubbing his beard.

"And if they attack over the border, they think no one will notice because..." Because everyone would be too distracted with their own nation's problems to deal with it. "We have to tell the Colonel. Right now," Jack said, standing and heading to his room to get some pants.

"Yeah, we can see if he'll believe us," Gabriel said, standing as well, grabbing one of his papers before he paused, still staring at the screen. "It's going to be Tucson, and it's going to be soon. It won't be as hard for people to get over the border from Mexico as it will be for Finland and Russia."

Jack nodded, snatching his pants off his bed. "Then let's get moving."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Worried about the geography? Let me know!  
> http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks again to my fantastic Beta Aisu, I put them through the hell that is bad grammar and they're a life saver.
> 
> You guys continue to be the sweetest fans, thanks for understanding the lateness of this chapter!


	10. The First Night in Arizona

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for bearing with me the last few weeks. Updates should be steadier going forward!
> 
> Note on this chapter: It contains reference to a slightly age-inappropriate relationship.

**Chapter Ten** :

The attack didn't happen in Tucson, it happened in Phoenix. It didn't change much in Gabriel's eyes, because all it meant was that there was suddenly another city's worth of refugees  moved to the already overcrowded camps set up in the city, and that the Omnics were that much closer. Between Mexico, Russia, Finland, Germany and the US, the death count was now in the millions.

In the end, convincing the Colonel of what was to come hadn't been as difficult as Gabriel had been afraid it might be. The evidence made sense, though Erikson hadn't been able to do much with it besides passing the word up. That had meant three days of nothing happening before the attack in Phoenix, and then three days more of stalling before the next set of injections on the weekend, and more reports and rumors flooding the base about the death count.

Day eight had led Gabriel to the situation he was in now, which involved himself, Erikson and Okoye in a meeting with four of the Major Generals, ten Brigadier Generals, and twenty Colonels, all of whom gave advice and barked ideas at one of the few people who was in a position to give an order that might _actually_ move the refugees out of Tucson.

On reflection, it was nice to be in a room with someone that Gabriel actually trusted, because he could perhaps count the total number on one hand. Abbey, certainly, Juan too, and then maybe two members of his old team who he'd have genuinely said were capable of doing whatever needed to be done (strangely, now, he wanted to say Okoye, and maybe even Jack. Maybe. Liking people and trusting them were two different things, he knew that all too well.) Then there was this man.

When Gabriel had first met General Darius Kaplan, the man had been a Colonel much like Erikson. He had also been in charge of a small team of soldiers who had been exceptional. It wasn't every day someone hand-selected you for Special Forces training, and even less likely that they would then pass you to something like SEP, but the General had taken "dangerous punks" like Gabriel and Abbey and turned them into members of one of the deadliest teams around. Age was starting to wear at him now - he would have to be well into his sixties, though Gabriel had thought for a long time he was much younger than he appeared. Not anymore. If anything, he looked well into his eighties now, frailer and hunched over as he listened to the bickering around him, massaging his temples.

"I'll take it under advisement," the General said, waving his hand. "You're all dismissed. Captain Reyes, you stay. Colonel Erikson, Dr. Okoye, wait outside please."

It was a fight to not smile at Erikson, just to remind him that Gabriel had friends in high places too. Friends whose respect he'd earned through doing his damned job, and not just married into, or squirted out a kid for. Instead he stared straight ahead, good soldiers saluting and leaving him in the near-empty board room.

"Sycophants and yes-men," Kaplan said as soon as the door closed. "How long do you think it's been since any of them saw a real fight?"

"At least ten years longer than you have, sir," Gabriel said, saluting.

"You're hilarious," Kaplan said, stifling a yawn. "I saw you on the news. You look good, Captain. Clearly medical tampering has been good for the complexion."

"I'll tell Specialist Goldman you said so. She's said it's bad for the skin."

Kaplan nodded, though he didn't laugh. There had been a time he would have, only a few years before. Hell, a few months before, when the Omnics had only been in Russia and the General had said something about how it couldn't have happened to a nicer group. None of that now. "I heard about Parsons."

Gabriel clenched his fist at his side. He _would_ have. "I wasn't expecting an eighteen year old who'd lost an arm to be that prepared for us. I underestimated him, sir. It won't happen again."

"Won't need to happen again, the kid's dead and the matter is closed," the General said, his lip curling in distaste. "Fucking traitor. I read your report on the incident. It was good work. Your team is always more creative than I give you credit for. Still. Lost Parsons. He was good, and we need good people. I read your report about Tucson too. That and Vybo... Vy... whatever the fuck. In Russia. Didn't even need to check the name, I knew it was yours."

"With everything in Arizona, you can't tell me I'm wrong, sir. They're diverting refugees there, and the Omnics _know_ that. They don't want anything, they've been targeting civilians, and they're aiming for the borders because-"

"I just said I read your report, Captain. I'm old, not blind," the General said. "We can't afford to lose members of SEP at random. There aren't enough of you. We aren't getting any more. What do you think about Okoye?"

The General wouldn't want platitudes or half-truths, which was good because Gabriel wasn't inclined to give them. The old man was direct, and his questions always led to something important, even when they were disjointed or random. Over the years Gabriel had learned to read him. "She really believes SEP is the future."

"Well, she's wrong as it stands. She fudged the burn-out statistics when she proposed her little project, I'm sure of that. I've half a mind to have her court-martialed. Except that she's right about one thing; one of you can do more than what ten soldiers can. So, Tucson. You're going, all of you. We're moving the refugees, but that could take weeks. Months, with this many people. We don't want the Omnics catching wind, however the hell they catch wind of anything, so there's no backup. Not on the ground." Kaplan looked genuinely annoyed by the lack of knowledge. Gabriel didn't blame him - it bothered him too.

The math bothered him more. A little under fifty soldiers protecting the entire population of Tucson and almost fifty thousand refugees? Maybe more? "I don't like those odds, sir."

"You'll like them even less soon. On the ground, I'm going to have the Colonel put you in charge. You're one of the only Captains we tagged in for the program. You're the only one I know personally. I'll tell the Colonel once we're done. The doctor will like it if you do well. Might be able to talk her way back to the drawing board, improve on her pitch, reopen SEP later, when she can guarantee fewer bad reactions." The General was still talking, but Gabriel tuned him out. This wasn't exactly the kind of reward he had been expecting, if he could call it that.

"Me. In charge of all of them,” Gabriel said, his eyes wide. "Sir-"

"The Colonel is still in charge overall. You'll handle the day to day, and if push comes to shove, the combat. Then, when the injections are finished..." He stared into the middle distance. "You caught something that the UN has been too busy chasing their tails to notice. This isn't just about us, not anymore. Announcements are coming up. Changes are being made."

"Changes?" Gabriel asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "What are you talking about, sir?"

"It's getting worse, Reyes," Kaplan said, "We can't stop them. The South is getting worse, not better. We don't know how they're moving, we don't know who's controlling them, all we know is they want us gone. What we're doing isn't working, and it's _everyone's_ problem." Gabriel didn't remember the General being this poetic. "Maybe we'll all need to work together and find a solution."

"You sound like Jack," Gabriel said, finding himself smiling at the thought. Then he realized the General wouldn't know Jack, would he? Except from the-

"Oh, the SEP poster boy. Yeah, he gives a good speech about togetherness." Kaplan nodded, scratching his chin. His thick black beard was starting to grey at the edges, giving him a distinguished look. Gabriel knew the real reason the General had grown it had been because it hid his scars.

' _Got the idea from a song,'_ he'd said once. Gabriel had stolen it as soon as he could get away with it, and secretly he was pretty sure he wore it better.

"Do you like him?" the General asked.

"Prone to heroics. He wouldn't have made it a week on our team," Gabriel said, though he noticed his tone wasn't unkind. His life would have been so much easier if he could trust Jack, but... "He's all sunshine and rainbows."

And all the other things. Prom King. Prince Charming. Golden Boy. Boy Scout.

"And?" the General asked.

 _Te adoro_... His words, even if Jack hadn't understood what it meant. He probably wouldn't have said it to begin with, if he'd thought for a second Jack might have picked it up. Partner. Friend. Lover. It all brought him back to trust, the one thing they lacked, he supposed. Gabriel couldn't trust Jack in the field, not around civilians, and he couldn't trust him with...

 _You're a monster_.

"I like him. Not always the easiest to work with, but that's just naivety. Once he's broken in more, he'll be a good soldier. For now, he's a good partner. Looks good on TV." And now that Gabriel was breaking him in in other ways, he looked good almost everywhere.

On the one hand, that was an unneeded distraction, but on the other... on the other, falling asleep with Jack in his bed had felt good, when everything else felt shitty.

The General nodded, standing, which compelled Gabriel to stand and salute.

"Good. I'll have a chat with the Colonel about Tucson. Congratulations, Reyes, looks like you're going to be a leader of men."

~~

Jack had expected the desert to be different. A bit dryer, maybe, like in Santa Fe - but of course the day they'd arrived it had poured rain and the city's drainage, not built to handle the water, had started to flood. It was described as a 'minor issue', but Jack didn't take it as a good sign for their first day.

On the _very_ most practical level, it had been useful because the distraction had meant that reporters who might have sniffed out the sudden arrival of SEP were otherwise occupied. The thought made Jack uncomfortable, because it was all too easy to look outside and see the displacement around them.

They were set up in makeshift quarters, which turned out to be a motel, and Jack desperately hoped that more civilians hadn't needed to move out in order to make room for them, because the soldiers took up a great deal of space - and in Gabriel's words, they'd be staying 'indefinitely'.

That was something new and different too, because Gabriel had made a speech. It had been short, to the point, and had marked the start of a period of abstinence that Jack hadn't seen coming when Gabriel had told him his theory about Tucson two weeks earlier. Gabriel wasn't the only one who was busy, either, because every single member of SEP had been doing drills and running scenarios day and night before they were moved to the motel.

Bright side, Gabriel had been in charge of running them, which meant in a very short period of time Jack had learned more about tactics and strategy than half of Basic Training taught him. On the darker side, it had also meant that he spent barely any one-on-one time with Gabriel, and when he did the other man was often too tired to do much more than watch a show on their couch and then fall asleep.

Even Gabriel's next round of injections were held off when he was flown off to some meeting with the Colonel and Dr. Okoye, just before his formal appointment as the ground Captain for the Tucson mission - though Jack only heard about the details of that from Maggie that afternoon.

"So, what? They just... absconded with him?" Jack muttered, staring at the cafeteria wall. "He didn't say anything to me about it."

"I don't think anyone told anyone. I only found out because Dr. Weber told me," Maggie said, shrugging.

"Dr. Weber told...?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why did he tell you?"

Maggie blushed, twirling her hair. "We talk. A lot of the soldiers don't won't exactly stop and have a chat with the scientists, but they're not bad people, you know? I figured he doesn't exactly have a lot of people to talk to, and there are more of us than of them so..." She shrugged, face getting redder.

Jack frowned, wondering for a moment if he looked like this when he talked about Gabriel. "Isn't he like, fifty?"

Maggie glared now, still blushing, but now there was a sense of indignation coming from her. "Pot calling the kettle black there, Morrison."

Jack stared, a sense of dawning horror encroaching on him. Had Gabriel said something? No, he wouldn't. Had Abbey? "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, like your crush on Reyes isn't obvious." She crossed her arms. "At least Weber isn't a murderer."

"Okay, well, number one, it would be totally inappropriate for me to be doing _anything_ with Gabri- with _Reyes_." Now Jack was turning red, half because she'd pegged him down so easily, and half because she was right. He didn't have a leg to stand on. "He's my partner. And two, he's a soldier. He's been in battles, of course he's killed people."

Jack had just never asked him about it.

"I'm not stupid," Maggie snapped, "I saw your face with Claude when we talked about him. When he said that Reyes was gay. You lit up like a Christmas tree. So if you're telling me you don't have a thing for him, I'm calling _you_ a liar. Don't you go getting judgmental with me."

Jack wasn't sure which was worse. Eighteen year old Maggie having a crush on fifty-whatever year old Weber, or him letting his partner screw him. Both against regulation, so there was that.

"He's _not_ a murderer." That felt like a feeble excuse, but Jack didn't want to keep traveling down the 'you don't have a crush' route because that could too easily lead into her realizing that it had developed into something a bit more serious than that.

"That's not what I've heard," Maggie said. "I thought you'd have better sense than to want to get involved with someone like him."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Jack asked, on the defensive now.

"Him, Goldman, Parsons, they were all straight up Black Ops." Maggie looked a bit incredulous now. "Wet work. Assassinations. That was their whole thing."

"Bullshit." Jack snapped back.

"Not bullshit. I asked Nadia about it. Those three worked only the most hardcore top secret missions. For a while they reported directly to a General." She smiled, obviously enjoying knowing something that Jack didn't. "Nadia says they used to call Reyes' team 'The Court' because they were the judge, jury and executioners. That's part of why I thought he and Goldman were a thing. The other soldiers called them the King and Queen behind their backs."

'His Majesty'- Abbey had called Gabriel that once or twice. In that case maybe not as 'behind their backs' as Maggie thought. Except then he'd have to accept that the story was potentially true, in which case Jack didn't know what to say.

"And what? All this information is just floating around?" Jack asked, hoping he could find some way to poke holes in it.

Maggie shook her head. "Nadia said a few years ago they had some openings in the Court. A mission went bad or something. A few people here tried to get in and didn't make the cut. Including the Captain position, which Reyes snagged."

Jack rolled his eyes. "And what, Nadia was one of the hopefuls?"

"No, man, she didn't even apply." Maggie shook her head, "Nathan Erikson did, though. The General promoted Reyes, and Erikson didn't even get accepted for a lower position. And he told Nadia all about it when he was hitting on her."

"Shit." Jack mumbled, leaning back against the wall. It was still just a rumor, even if Maggie's source was good, but...

Maggie reached out slowly, lightly touching his arm. The effort to be comforting clearly made her uncomfortable, but the effort made Jack smile. "I, uh... wasn't trying to be snippy. Like, he's hot, I get it, but uh... you know. There's following orders and then there's... they're good. I mean, I'm glad they're on our side, but they're dangerous. And there aren't many of us rookies left. I don't want you to get hurt."

Jack nodded, shrugging. "Thanks. At least now I know why Nathan's been such an utter bastard."

Maggie snorted. "To Reyes maybe, but I don't know what his issue is with you."

"Well, I sided with Gabe... Reyes," he corrected himself, "but I also have better hair."

Maggie snorted, reaching up and tugging on the back of Jack's hair around his cowlick. "Is this really _better_?"

"Some people find it very attractive," Jack said, batting her hand away. "Listen, though... about what I said. Weber."

"Yeah, I know." Maggie sighed, shrugging, "Can't help what we're attracted to, I guess. Old nerds and high functioning sociopaths. I bet a psychologist would have a field day with us."

Jack was drawn out of the memory by a clap of thunder, the lights of the motel flickering. They were just high enough to avoid the flooding, which had been up to their ankles when the helicopters had landed, and up to their knees by the time they had settled in. Residents were flooded  out and there was no space for them anywhere, let alone the extra locations they needed for the refugees, and there he was. SEP in all its glory, holed up in a motel and expressly forbidden from helping.

 _Bullshit, h_ e thought, closing the blinds and sighing. The thunder cracked across the sky again, and the lights flickered out for the fourth time that evening. This time they didn't come back on. He sighed, going under the bathroom counter and rummaging around. After what felt like an age of blindly searching in the dark he found some candles there, and in the drawer beside his bed, matches.

Of course, just as he finished setting everything up, the lights came back on again.

"Oh, come on." He stared at the ceiling, as though glaring might somehow fix _something_.

"Thought the lights might make you happy, not the other way around." Jack jumped when Gabriel's voice came from the doorway.

"Christ, didn't we talk about a bell for you?" Jack smiled, hoping his heart rate would calm down.

"We did. That turn you on?" Gabriel smirked, letting the door swing shut behind him. "Me in a collar with a cute little bell?" He moved in close, his chest knocking against Jack's as he leaned in, nuzzling against his neck.

Jack shivered, close contact with Gabriel never failing to bring out the flush of arousal in him. The imagery didn't hurt, though...

"I'd wear it better." Jack smiled, glad for any excuse to let his anxiety slip away.

"Oh, you do tempt me." Gabriel chuckled, stepping back as lightning flashed against the black sky outside.

When the lights flickered again, he sighed, although the noise was drowned out by the thunder. "God... damnit, you know what? Not my problem anymore. Everyone should be asleep anyway." He tossed himself back on their couch. "Bad enough that we're going to be waist deep in sewage tomorrow, I'm not dealing with every other little problem."

Jack shook his head, but still smiled, watching the candle light flicker off Gabriel's face. "So... straight to bed then, right?" Half a joke, but half the truth, because that was what Gabriel had done almost every other night, and Jack had been too exhausted to put up any kind of fight about it.

He liked to dream about just sleeping together. _Just_ sleeping, together. He'd be joking if he said that sex wasn't off his mind, and almost ten days without it after a few glorious days _with_ it was... well, if not for the conversation with Maggie keeping him on edge, he wasn't sure he could have stood it without pinning Gabriel down and demanding that he do... something. Fraternize, at least a little.

And that was a problem too, wasn't it? Jack hadn't been pulled away from being Gabriel's partner, no one had talked to him, and he hadn't talked to anyone - which he could only assume meant that Gabriel hadn't either. They would be split up, there'd be no other option, as soon as anyone knew. Hell, they should have reported it right away. He could get in a lot of trouble, and Gabriel could get in a lot _more_ trouble now that he'd been promoted and-

"You have a way of packing a lot into a very small sentence, you know that?" Gabriel said, hands resting behind his head, one eye lazily cracked open and watching him.

Jack shrugged. "Thinking too hard, nothing new."

"Yeah, I can hear you thinking from all the way over here. Sit down," Gabriel said, patting the seat beside him. "It's almost as uncomfortable as the one in our room."

"Without all the fond memories," Jack said, sitting anyway, pulling a knee to his chest. It was strange, sitting there in the dark with only the candles, but also nice. Intimate.

"We can make some new ones, then," Gabriel said, wrapping an arm around Jack's shoulders and pulling him over, letting Jack's head rest against his chest. "Guess what I got?"

"A guitar?" Jack grinned, not caring that he was almost guaranteed to be wrong.

"Guess again." Gabriel snorted.

"Condoms?" More likely, but Jack was still guessing he was wrong.

"Too obvious to ask for at the front desk, no dice." Not a no to sex though, but Gabriel still pushed him aside, going back to their door and picking up a small hotel gift basket, which full of booze. "I figure I can take advantage of at least _one_ thing from being in charge."

Jack snorted, catching a small bottle of vodka that Gabriel tossed to him. "You remember we can't really get drunk, right?"

"Yeah, and if Marisol didn't get you wasted, this shit sure as hell won't," Gabriel said, flopping back down beside Jack. He picked up one of the bottles, turning it in his hand. "They charge way too much for not nearly enough."

Jack smiled, tossing the bottle back up in the air and catching it. Then, he had an idea. "So let's make a game of it then?"

"A game of it? What, like a drinking game?" Gabriel chuckled, catching the bottle out of the air when Jack threw it again.

"Hey, I never went to collage so I've only seen that shit in movies," Jack said, holding out his hand and catching the bottle when Gabriel tossed it back to him. Strange how even in the dark it was almost effortless to catch them.

"Listen, we didn't exactly play much more than 'who passes out first' in my training group, so my knowledge is pretty limited," Gabriel said, eyebrow raised. "What kind of game did you have in mind?"

"I don't know..." A lie, and Jack wondered how convincing it would be. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth or... does that game really require drinking?" Gabriel asked, incredulous.

"No, but it'll probably make it more fun," Jack said, elbowing Gabriel lightly.

"Okay. But no dares outside the room," Gabriel said, tipping his small bottle towards Jack, "and how the hell does drinking play into this?"

"I figure at the end of your turn you take a drink. We do it fast enough, maybe we'll even get a buzz." Jack said, shrugging. "So, truth or dare, Gabe?"

"Ah, shit, I have to start?" Gabriel sighed, setting his bottle down on the table. "Truth."

"What, scared?"

"I need a little more alcohol in me before I can think of whatever you'd dare me to do," Gabriel said, turning a little when lightning crackled across the sky outside.

"Okay..." Jack twirled the small bottle between his fingers, "What was your favorite subject in school?"

"Aren't these questions supposed to be sexy?" Gabriel asked.

"Hey, I can ask whatever I want," Jack said, pointing the bottle at him. "Favorite subject."

"Okay, but you'll laugh."

"Will not."

"Will so."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Just tell me."

"Home ec," Gabriel shrugged, making Jack snort. "See, told you."

"No, I..." Jack shook his head, trying not to picture Gabriel in a pink frilly apron, "Just not what I expected. Why?"

"You get _one_ question."

"Come _on_ , you big wuss," Jack prompted, nudging closer.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I was good at it. I liked practical stuff. Cooking, sewing, it's all very precise, you know? You make a plan, you follow it through, sometimes when it doesn't work you have to make something up on the fly. I make a mean steak dinner though, let me tell you." He chuckled, staring off. "And my dad. He was a tailor. Used to joke that the best way to land a good woman was to fix her dress. If only he knew, right?"

An unexpected tug at Jack's heartstrings, even though Gabriel's voice didn't give much away. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. Pity wouldn't get him anywhere, he was sure of that. Sympathy might just come off like that...

"I'd love to have some of your cooking sometime." He looked down, then offered Gabriel a bottle. "But honestly I was going to guess music."

"Heh, shit, I _hated_ music," Gabriel said, opening the bottle and draining it, "Couldn't read the notes, and I had the _worst_ teacher who never bothered to really get us into something we liked, you know? I don't mind the classics, but the guitar and something I can really shred out? That got me going."

"So did you just... learn by ear?"

"Hell yeah I did. I liked figuring it out, even though it frustrated me like crazy when I first started out. Never did learn sheet music." Gabriel tossed the bottle over his shoulder, then pointed accusingly. "Also, you fucking cheater, you just got like four questions."

Jack laughed, holding up his hands. "Guilty. Fine, ask me whatever. Truth."

" _Your_ favorite subject, if you think it's so fascinating," Gabriel said, taking another bottle and twisting the top off, handing it to Jack. "Let me guess. Gym."

"Nah, being good at it and liking it... I mean I _liked_ it, but it was just kind of expected. My dad was on the football team, my mom ran track, I just sort of got swept up in all that. I didn't want to disappoint them, and it was like going on autopilot, you know? I didn't have to think about it," Jack said, staring at his hands."I don't know, maybe the teams would have done better if I'd really loved it. But it was an easy way to make friends. I won a lot so everyone just kind of... liked me."

Gabriel didn't say anything, and Jack couldn't quite force himself to look up.

"So, uh, yeah. No my favorite class... it's silly. I liked poetry a lot," Jack admitted, laughing a little. "Our track coach taught English, and I don't know, when she handed out the poetry books it was just like... magical, you know?" He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey," Gabriel punched Jack's shoulder lightly, making him look up, "could we get any gayer right now?" He grinned, making Jack smile in return.

"Probably." Jack said, a sense of relief washing over him. Nothing had changed. "I mean I'd have to stick your cock in my mouth but-"

"Favorite poet?" Gabriel said, poking his finger into Jack's shoulder.

"Do you know poets very well?" Jack asked, sinking back into the couch.

"Probably couldn't name a single one," Gabriel said, offering Jack a bottle.

"Oh, oh, wait, I know this one. Read a fucking book, Gabe," Jack said, taking the drink, and earning himself a kiss. It was just light and quick, but after going so long without it still felt like bliss.

"Favorite poet, answer your question, then take a drink," Gabriel said, sitting back and letting Jack sit up.

"Leonard Cohen, _Dance Me to the End of Love_.” Jack took a deep breath, reflecting, then started to recite the familiar words. “Dance me with your beauty, with a burning violin. Dance me through the panic, 'til I'm gathered safely in. Lift me like an olive branch, and be my homeward dove. Dance me to the end of love, dance me to the end of love." He still knew it by heart. When finally he was done, he knocked back the drink, coughing a little on the vodka.

"Well, Hallelujah, I do know a poet," Gabriel said, resting his head on his hand, watching Jack carefully. "I should have known that you were a romantic to the core."

"Just a kinky one." Jack shrugged, wiping his mouth. "Truth or dare?"

"Now that I'm aware of my poetry kink, dare," Gabriel said, picking up another bottle.

Jack rubbed his chin, thinking for a moment before he grabbed his shirt and pulled it off, making Gabriel raise an eyebrow, though he didn't comment. Then Jack plucked the small bottle out of Gabriel's hand and laid back on the couch. "You can take this drink off me."

"Body shots?" Gabriel said, smiling and moving to straddle Jack.

Jack grinned and nodded back, twisting off the lid, but Gabriel took it out of his hand. He tipped it over Jack's nipple, and the cold made Jack shiver, raising goose bumps on his skin, but it was Gabriel's mouth on his nipple that made his breath catch. He could feel Gabriel's beard rub against his chest, which tickled to top things off.

"Mhm, I like it better off of you," Gabriel said, raising the bottle and pouring it over Jack's other nipple. He tongued at the alcohol on Jack's skin, making his nipples erect and Jack continue to make small, helpless sounds. "You're sensitive everywhere, you know that?"

"Yeah, I-" Jack gasped when Gabriel pinched his other nipple, rolling it between his fingers, sending signals directly to Jack's cock, "-got that. Jesus that's good."

"Truth or dare, Jack?" Gabriel asked, tipping the rest of the bottle over Jack's chest. It was difficult to think of an answer when Gabriel's mouth was on him, sucking on him and licking up the wetness from his skin.

"T-truth..." Jack stuttered out, trying to get his breathing back under control.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, propping himself back up. "Seriously? I think we're in dare territory now."

"Maybe I'm having fun, learning things about you," Jack said, shivering again when Gabriel pinched a nipple, leaning down and biting it just hard enough to make Jack gasp.

"You can always just ask me," Gabriel said, looking up again, sitting back. Creating distance.

"You're the one who doesn't usually answer," Jack said, propping himself up on his elbows. "You've been busy lately so I just thought... I don't know, this could be a fun way to do it. Where we could be honest with each other. And, you know, everything else."

"This is temporary, Jack," Gabriel said, putting his hand on Jack's hip. "This mission, this promotion, it's only for now. Nothing has to change between us. Unless you want to stop?"

"No!" Jack said, a little too fast, and he winced at the desperate sound in his voice. "No it's not that. I mean, I thought it might be better for you, in case someone found out. Because this is a career for you, right?"

Gabriel frowned, "Yeah,  but now that you're in SEP... it sort of is for you too."

That reminded Jack of what his mother had said at dinner. _What if they never let you go now_?

"I mean... for the Omnic Crisis, probably. And maybe even after, I don't know," The farm seemed a long way off, now. "I kind of stumbled into this though. This is what you want to do, right?"

"More or less, but I didn't have a lot of options. Plus, I had a knack for it. Now, yeah I can't really imagine doing anything else," Gabriel said, shrugging. "Made more friends here and gained more appreciation than anything I did before. Worked harder, earned a lot more recognition... everything else is just for fun." He reached up, thumb tracing along Jack's jaw.  "Between us, though? Nothing's changed."

"Then... can I ask you something?" Jack asked, deciding he might as well, as it were, skip the foreplay.

"Sure," Gabriel said, thumb running absently down Jack's neck.

"What's the Court?"

Gabriel stopped dead, eye twitching slightly. "Who the fuck talked to you about the Court?"

"Maggie. But she said she and Nadia heard about it from Nathan," Jack admitted, though he felt a sudden weight on his chest. No denial about the name.

"Mother _fucking_ Erikson," Gabriel mumbled, rubbing his beard, taking his weight off of Jack and sitting back. "That's top secret, Jack. He shouldn't be shooting his mouth off about it to half the damn building. God, if his Uncle weren't who he is, and his fucking mom weren't some big wig in the navy he could be court marshaled for this." He smiled to himself, looking bitter. "Maybe I'll bring it up anyway, just to see if someone will do something about him."

"Is it really worth making a hassle for the Colonel, though?" Jack asked, worried now that he might have put Gabriel in an uncomfortable position.

"It's getting pretty close," Gabriel said, staring off. "This _fucking_ close to losing my patience with him. He threw such a shit-fit when we didn't let him in, but if he thinks mouthing off will somehow make us accept him he's got another thing coming," He sighed, looking back down at Jack. "Not your fault, Jack. What did he say, exactly?"

Now it was Jack's turn to look away. "A lot of stuff. Probably mostly shit."

"Jack, come on. I need to know what he's been saying. Preferably before Abbey does."

"He... basically said you guys were assassins. For the government. Black ops, shit like that," Jack said, forcing himself to look back at Gabriel and see if any of it could be true. It wasn't, was it?

Except Gabriel didn't seem shocked, he only shook his head. "Look, I'm not going to lie to you. The Court did a lot of classified operations, and a lot of them involved making sure very specific people died in very specific ways. And yeah, for a while I ran the operations. It's what I'm good at. Small teams. Covert ops. Running something this big is..." He gestured around them, looking a little lost. "But yeah. I don't know if that changes things for you. A lot of my career has been on the battlefield, but some of it hasn't been. And that part gets more complicated." He looked over at Jack again. "So there's that. Does it change things for you?"

"I... don't know. I don't think so. Maybe?" Jack said, trying to absorb it. Not a lie. What else had Gabriel done? He kept thinking about Gabriel the night after his mission. _I'm not a monster_. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Or if you need to, I can listen," He tried to smile. "I'm not just a pretty face."

"Nah, you're not _just_ that," Gabriel said, smiling again, but he still looked distant. "I did what needed to be done. Just like with this, to protect these people, the team, Abbey... your dumb corn-fed ass," that made Jack smile, "I'll do what I have to."

Jack sat up, leaning into Gabriel and kissing him. Maybe it was because it had suddenly felt like Gabriel needed it, or maybe because Jack did, but it was reassuring all the same when he had Gabriel's hands on his shoulders, pulling him into his lap. He could feel Gabriel's lips push against him more forcefully, crushing Jack against his chest. Jack could feel something different about this than when they'd kissed before. It wasn't tender, certainly, but Gabriel's arms around him felt...

Protective.

"You okay?" Jack asked when he finally pulled away. He could still feel Gabriel's warmth around him, almost euphoric.

"I should be asking you that," Gabriel muttered, glancing up when the lights flickered on and off again, thunder and lightning rolling through the sky.

"Yeah, but I asked it," Jack said, shrugging and putting a hand on Gabriel's chest. He felt like he could hear the other man's heartbeat. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Most of the time," Gabriel said, but he wasn't looking at Jack again. "Look, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not." He massaged his fingers into Jack's shoulders, a little too hard to be a massage, and just hard enough to be arousing. "Talking about it is...  it doesn't make things better. This, what we're doing now, _that_ makes things better. All your hero bullshit." He laughed, shaking his head. "Protect the innocent, rah, rah, rah. You're rubbing off on me."

Jack smiled back, leaning in and kissing him again, on his neck this time. "I could make so many jokes right now."

"Yeah, yeah, you're all rainbows and sunshine," Gabriel said, and Jack could hear his breathing pick up with his lips on his skin. "Jackie, you don't have to do this. It's a lot to take in."

"It is, I'm not saying it isn't," Jack mumbled, resting his head on Gabriel's shoulder. "I meant what I said. I'm willing to stick around and find out who you are. Even though you don't exactly make it easy.” He jabbed Gabriel's ribs with an accusatory finger.

"Hey, ow," Gabriel mumbled, shuffling under Jack so that he was firmly in Gabriel's lap. "You don't always make it easy either, you know? This, tonight, it's the most honest I've ever seen you. And I still owe you a truth."

Jack gasped when Gabriel pressed his hips against his, grinding lightly. He was hard, or at least on his way there, which was oddly enough, a relief. Nothing had changed. Gabriel had a lot going on. It didn't matter; all that mattered was in that room. Or at least, in that moment, he felt better telling himself that.

"Yeah, okay, uh," Jack pressed into him, feeling himself start to stiffen with the motion of Gabriel's hips against him, "what was your... the... yeah?"

"I believe you when you say you joined SEP for the hero gig. But why the army? Something your dad wanted?" Gabriel asked, hands moving to Jack's hips, fingers slipping beneath his waistband.

Jack blinked, trying to focus on the words, but Gabriel's movements were very distracting. "No, I uh... they didn't want me to come at all. Stay on the farm. Help out. Take over. There's uh... oh Jesus don't ask me about this when you're-"

Gabriel didn't stop though, shifting his hand under the fabric of Jack's pants, taking hold of his shaft and massaging his fingers over Jack's skin. "Come on, Jackie."

"I wanted... just to..." Jack's head tilted back, and he took a long breath as Gabriel ran his finger over his slit."To make sure that I'd... that I wouldn't... I wanted a chance to..." He shook his head, gripping the couch. "I didn't want that town to be the only thing I ever saw."

That gave Gabriel pause for a moment, but he still smiled, his face illuminated by the candles on the tables beside him. For a moment Jack wasn't sure what the other man might say, or if he'd say anything at all.

"Nothing wrong with wanting something more in life," Gabriel said, taking his hand away, making Jack moan at the loss.  "Want to fuck?"

Jack laughed, still breathless. "Wow, thanks for the romance there."

"Sorry, not a poet," Gabriel said, kissing Jack's shoulder. "I still want you, if you still want me. So, how do you want this to go?"

Jack was well aware he should have considered it for longer. What Gabriel had told him should have been a bombshell, but after everything he'd seen, it wasn't. Gabriel had saved his life. He'd had Jack's back from the beginning.

"I still want you," Jack said, reaching out tentatively and undoing Gabriel's belt. Gabriel didn't make any moves to stop him, so he kept going. "And we have a door that locks now."

"Thinner walls though," Gabriel said, watching as Jack slid his belt away. He smirked when Jack pulled it taut between his fingers. "Think you can be quiet for once?"

Jack hesitated. "Well, I mean, I can _try_."

"Hm, 'try' doesn't really work in this case," Gabriel said, tilting Jack back on the couch. He grabbed Jack's waistband and pulled off his pants and underwear with a quick tug. "We'll have to figure this out. Lay down on the bed, and here." He grinned, grabbing a bottle of olive oil and tossing it to Jack.

"Telling me to go fuck myself?" Jack asked, laying on the bed.

"I am." Gabriel laughed. "Lay on your stomach though. Ass up. I want to watch."

Jack shivered, but did as he was told, a little thrill running down his spine at the idea of Gabriel watching him. He tipped the bottle of olive oil between his fingers, trying to keep it from running onto the bed, but that was damn near impossible. Doing his best, he turned around and laying his shoulder down on the bed, turning his head to see if he could get a line of sight on Gabriel. No such luck, but Gabriel was also probably trying to make sure he couldn't.

Jack pushed his slick finger against his rim, teasing around the edge. It was hard not to remember the last time he had been with Gabriel, when it had been his fingers inside him. Jack breathed out as he pushed inside, his first finger easy, especially with the slick oil over it. He eased it in and out, enjoying the sensation inside him, but wishing desperately that it was being caused by Gabriel.

He bit his lip, spreading his legs and his cheeks so that he could put himself on display. When he pushed in a second finger, he hissed, but quickly scissored them.  The ring of muscle fought him more than it had the week before, but he worked at it, making it stretch around. He wanted more, and the drip of oil down his thighs was a constant reminder of what was to come. Tempting as it was to touch himself, Gabriel hadn't told him to, and he didn't want to risk it.

"I like you like this," Gabriel said, startlingly close, his weight shifting the bed. "Showing off for me. Do you like it? Showing me how much you want it?"

"Yes," Jack breathed, wanting to turn his head and look at Gabriel - but he couldn't quite make himself move.

"Good boy," Gabriel said, and then suddenly his hand was on Jack's wrist, yanking his fingers out and pulling his arm up behind his back.

" _Ah,_ Gabe, what-" Jack tried to say, but Gabriel's other hand was already pulling Jack's free wrist behind his back as well, lifting his arms until for a second he thought they might pop out of his shoulders. "Ah, _shit_."

Then he felt something tighten around his wrists. Gabriel's belt, he realized. It tightened around him, and Gabriel twisted his arms up, making Jack moan, his cock feeling rock hard as his nerves tingled. Trapped.

"Now, since you can't keep your mouth shut," Gabriel said, letting go of Jack's wrists. He moved again, coming into Jack's view. "I'll do it for you. Close your eyes and open your mouth."

Jack closed his eyes almost immediately, but it took him a second to open his mouth, wondering what exactly it was that Gabriel was planning on putting there. When he did open Gabriel took his tongue between his fingers, pinching it and pulling it out.

"Because you'll have your mouth full, safe word rule change. If I stop, but you're okay, thumbs up. Things starting to get too intense, two fingers up. You need me to stop, three fingers. Nod if you understand."

Jack nodded, tongue still outstretched and salivating between Gabriel's fingers.

"Good," Gabriel said, shoving fabric roughly into Jack's mouth. "Bite down on it."

Jack did, shifting on the bed now that he didn't have his arms free to support him anymore. He leaned into his shoulder, breathing around the makeshift gag in his mouth. Gabriel made sure that he stayed steady, moving around behind him, one hand on Jack's bound arms, the other on his hips. Gabriel tipped the bottle of oil over onto the cleft of Jack's ass, letting it drip over him.

"You couldn't get away from me like this, you know," Gabriel said, leaning in and pushing his fingers inside Jack, two already, making him wheeze into gag. "No noise, your hands tied -even if you wanted me to, I wouldn't have to stop.” He leaned in, kissing down Jack's spine. "Not unless I wanted to."

Jack could barely catch his breath around his gag, his whole body trembling with every word. It might not be true, strictly speaking. Jack might be able to fight him, if he had to. If he really wanted it to stop. He was as strong as Gabriel was. But then again... if he did fight, Gabriel could beat him. Hold him down. Fuck him within an inch of his life.

It shouldn't have turned him on. Somewhere inside him he felt the fundamental _wrongness_ of that. But his cock was leaking between his legs, red and flushed, only getting harder with every word.

He groaned when Gabriel added a third finger, stretching his hole and filling him up. He kneaded into Jack's ass, brushing against his prostate, which would have been enough to make Jack beg if he could have talked over the gag. _Please fuck me. Please just do it_. Instead, Gabriel kept going, frying Jack's brain with his touch until Jack could barely keep himself propped up, sweat running into his eyes.

"But you don't want me to, do you?" Gabriel asked, taking his fingers away, laughing when Jack tried to push back against him. "You want me inside you."

It wasn't a question, but Jack nodded furiously anyway. He yelped into his gag when Gabriel slapped his exposed ass open-handed, a resounding sound that Jack would have sworn was a lot louder than any noises he would have made from under his gag. Then again, he wasn't in a position to judge.

Gabriel hit him again, rocking Jack's body, making him sway in place, struggling to keep himself upright. His skin burned uncomfortably, but all the same he hoped Gabriel would do it again.

He didn't.

"Shit, no condom," Gabriel muttered under his breath. "Not as funny right now."

Without thinking, Jack gave a thumbs up. They hadn't talked about it, but Jack didn't exactly have a plan in place for multiple partners in the near future. He trusted Gabriel with his life, and he trusted him for this too. That, and his body was desperate for it. _He_ was desperate for it. Gabriel had only really been inside him the one time, and somehow that didn't feel like enough. Jack wanted every part of him.

"You sure?" Gabriel asked, hands on Jack's hips, stroking along the skin he had slapped.

Jack wanted to punch him, but instead he more insistently jabbed his thumb up.

"You do know how to ask nicely, don't you?" Gabriel chuckled, pushing up against Jack's hole with the head of his cock. "God, you're still so tight."

Jack tried to relax and let Gabriel inside. At some point Gabriel had added more of the oil, but his cock was a hell of a lot bigger than a few fingers. He could hear Gabriel's breathing picking up too, like it always did when he was inside Jack. He wondered if Gabriel noticed the same way he did.

"Yes," Gabriel moaned, but unlike Jack he was quiet, probably only audible to the two of them. He kept pressing inside until Jack could feel his balls resting against his skin.

For a moment he didn't move at all, resting inside Jack and getting his bearings, but then he started to pull out. Jack wanted to reach around and grab him, twist Gabriel so that he had no choice but to stay inside him, but Gabriel took his wrists and held him in place. Then he began to thrust in earnest, knocking the wind out of Jack, stretching him to new limits as his eyes rolled back in his head.

Gabriel set a harder pace than the first time they'd been together, pulling out nearly completely before he drove back inside. Jack's legs felt weak as Gabriel laid into his body, clenching every time Gabriel filled him, hoping that he could keep him there, even for one moment longer.

"Jesus, Jackie stop doing that..." Gabriel mumbled, panting as he thrust inside again, but this time he didn't pull out as far. Instead he rocked his hips with Jack wrapped around him, both of them moving together.

Then Gabriel reached around, grabbing hold of Jack's erection, fist tightening on him, pumping him. Jack couldn't last long with that, not with Gabriel touching him and every thrust brushing his prostate. It was too good, too perfect, to maintain for long.

Orgasm flooded him seconds later, vision going briefly white as Gabriel milked him, still keeping up his own unrelenting pace. "Yeah, Jack, yeah... come on. Almost there. Almost..."

Gabriel's head tilted back and he buried himself inside Jack, gasping sharply as he came. Jack could feel the warmth of his release inside him, different than the first time, before Gabriel slumped forward, resting his forehead on Jack's shoulder.

"Fuck, I needed that." Gabriel mumbled in his ear, sliding out of him.

Jack could feel the oil and cum leaking out of him as he let himself collapse onto the bed. A weird sensation, but with the flood of endorphin still pumping through his system, it actually felt sort of hot.

Gabriel hummed under his breath, undoing the belt around Jack's wrists and letting his arms flop to the side. "You know, you practically turn into a ragdoll after you've come. Anyone ever tell you that?"

Jack rolled his eyes, dragging his arm around and pulling the wet fabric out of his mouth, finally getting a look at what it was. "Gabe... did you gag me with your underwear?"

When he glanced up, the grin that spread across Gabriel's face said it all. "I thought it'd be hot."

Jack blushed, shaking his head. "And you joke about _my_ kinks." Then he glanced at his wrists and frowned. He hadn't felt like he was pulling that hard, but there was the beginning of a dark bruise on his pale skin. "Shit."

"It'll fade by tomorrow," Gabriel said, laying back on the bed and putting his hands behind his head. "You still good?"

Jack nodded, then hesitated for a moment, glancing at his bed on the other side of the room. "Yeah, I'm fine. Better than fine. That was..." his gaze shifted back down to his wrists. "I mean, if you want to do a little more than that... I'd be good with it."

"Heh, alright. I'll remember you said that," Gabriel said, still watching him. "Come up here."

In lieu of standing or getting up, Jack rolled and shuffled to the head of the bed, resting his head on a pillow. Gabriel rolled over to meet him, lifting Jack's chin and kissing him. It had the same feeling of protectiveness that Jack had felt earlier, with Gabriel leaning over him, pressing him softly into the bed.

"Glad you still wanted to do this," he mumbled, lightly tapping his forehead against Jack's. "Gives a guy something to look forward to."

Jack smiled back, reaching up and tugging on Gabriel's beard, "I'm not just a pretty face. I'm also a great lay."

Gabriel snorted, "Yeah. With ears and everything, _mi sol_." He leaned in and kissed him again.

Jack let him, leaning into the kiss before he pulled back, raising an eyebrow. "Mi sol?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Think of it like 'sunshine'."

"Not my least favorite nickname, then," Jack said, going to sit up. "We should probably sleep. You'll probably be busy tomorrow and-"

"Door's locked, Jack," Gabriel said, resting his head on his hand. "If you want."

Jack stopped, glancing at the door, then back at Gabriel. Rather than getting up, he pulled back the blanket, climbing under it. "I'll have to mess up the sheets tomorrow. Make it look like I slept there."

"If we get up early enough, maybe I'll even help you do it," Gabriel said, getting up and going to the candles, blowing them out one by one. Jack watched him, pulling back blanket and making room for when he got back.

Then, Gabriel lay down, curling up beside him under the blanket, an arm wrapping around Jack's chest and pulling him close. He was warm, almost like having a space heater under the covers, but Jack wasn't complaining.

"Night, Gabe."

"Night, Jack."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional note: High functioning sociopathy is not actually a thing that exists.
> 
> As always, big thanks to my beta Aisu, whom I could not do this without.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Gripes? Message me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks for everyone who asked about my health. I'm doing much better now, even though the doctor's aren't 100% sure of what I have. Also at some point in the near future I'll be going back and cleaning up some of the early chapters, so anyone who goes back and reads might find minor changes.


	11. Old Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warnings! This chapter contains:  
> \- Graphic gore and implications of cannibalism  
> \- Borderline racist/homophobic slurs  
> \- Two huge nerds who can't get their shit together
> 
> Thanks again to Aisu, my wonderful Beta, whom I could not do without!  
> Thanks to all of you for sticking with me over the past few weeks. It's been busy, but you are lovely and it's been great chatting those of you who have stopped by my tumblr!  
> You can find my tumblr at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/ for questions, comments, and me being silly!

**Chapter Eleven** :

Jack was laying on the table naked, bound and gagged, motionless, with the others sitting around him. Gabriel was at the head of the table, Dr. Okoyoe at his left and his abuelitaat his right, all dressed in black. His abuelita had blood dripping down from her mouth, and Okoyoe's hands were coated in the stuff.

" _You are my sunshine..._ "

"Pass me the carving knife, chiquito," his abuelita said, holding out her hand. "We have to get started."

Directly across from Gabriel was General Kaplan, arms crossed over his chest, watching. He didn't say a word.

"Don't keep the man waiting, Captain," Dr. Okoye said, blood dripping down from her fingers onto her plate. "Do what you have to."

Gabriel raised the knife towards his abuelita, touching the blade to her outstretched hand. She smiled at him, and from over her shoulder a black owl leaned in, staring at him with huge dark eyes. "Which one of us is cursed, do you think, chiquito? I'm thinking it's you, these days."

She looked back at Jack, twirling the knife through her fingers, an old trick she'd done when he was a kid to impress him. She coughed, blood bubbling up between her lips, but neither Kaplan or Okoye acknowledged it. Each desperate gasp for breath and wheezing sound she made left her a little older, a little more frail, her white hair turning to ash around her face.

Gabriel tried to talk, tried to think of something to say, but he no words would come. Not as he watched her turn the blade and place it over Jack's chest, and not when she started to dig it under his skin.

Kaplan tilted his head, watching impassively as Jack started to scream into his gag. Not with pleasure like the night before, but with desperation and pain, straining against the bonds that held him to the table.

"The heart, that goes first," Dr. Okoye said, her voice sweet like jazz overwhelming Jack's desperate muffled pleas. "It will make things easier."

"You are my sunshine," thump, "my only sunshine," another loud thump, from behind Kaplan in the darkness. Abbey's voice, he was sure, but she'd always been a crappy singer. "You make me happy, when skies are grey..."

Gabriel stood, walking around the table, though no one sitting paid him any mind, their attention on Jack. Everyone's attention, that was, except for the owl, which turned its head completely around to watch Gabriel as he passed by, wide eyes unblinking. It wasn't until Gabriel passed by Kaplan that the other man moved, taking Gabriel's forearm to stop him.

"It's better this way. Kings and Queens don't need distractions," Kaplan said, watching as Jack's heart was carved out of his chest.

Jack writhed on the table, looking back at Gabriel desperately, eyes wide and pleading. Gabriel could have stopped them, Jack knew that. He didn't, though. He had to find Abbey, but the General wasn't letting go of his arm.

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you..." Gabriel knew what the sound of something hard and metal hitting the soft part of flesh sounded like. Again and again, even with Jack's whimpering, he could hear it.

"Let her finish her work." The General said, though Gabriel wasn't sure who the other man was referring to. He let go of Gabriel at last, and Gabriel kept walking into the darkness behind the General.

Slowly, more of the room came into focus. A massive pile leaned against the wall - shapeless at first, but the closer Gabriel got, the more of it he could make out. Bodies. Beside it, Abbey slammed a machete into the body of Thomas Bowman, even though it was long dead.

"Please don't take my sunshine away..." Abbey looked up at him, a grin splitting her face. "And there's the hero of the hour." She reached down, picking up what was left of Tom and tossing him on the pile.

Gabriel recognized some of the faces. People they had killed.

"Difficult times, am I right?" Abbey asked, reaching into the darkness and pulling Juan to his knees in front of her, placing her machete on his throat. "Kings and Queens don't need distractions."

Finally, Gabriel found his voice, anxiety washing over him. "Don't-"

"We all make sacrifices." Abbey shrugged, eyes empty. "We don't need distractions," When she smiled, her teeth were fangs. "You and me, Majesty? We just need each other." Then she slit her husband's throat.

Gabriel woke with a start, sweating and grasping at his sheets. He gasped for breath, raising a hand to his face to keep himself from crying out. He felt weighed down. His legs were twisted in the blankets, and he didn't recognize the dark room he was in. Someone was with him. He wasn't alone. He wasn't-

Jack snored loudly, his head resting on Gabriel's chest. He didn't wake up, despite Gabriel's sudden movement, and that calmed Gabriel considerably.

Gabriel took a deep breath, trying to slow his heart rate down, not wanting Jack to see him like that. The dream was fading away, but there was a sting of guilt too. Vague images of Jack tied down to the table, the knife at his chest. _Right, taking his heart out_.

"Subtle, self," Gabriel mumbled, letting his head fall back onto the motel pillow as the residual panic faded. He took another deep breath to steady himself, watching as Jack's head rose and fell on his chest, still in a deep sleep.

Also, still snoring, and drooling on him.

"Hey," Gabriel said, his voice barely above a whisper as he reached down, absently stroking his hand through Jack's hair. "You're gross."

Jack said something in his sleep that Gabriel couldn't make out, his head tilting as he rolled over, taking most of the blankets with him.

Sighing, Gabriel glanced at the clock, but the electricity was still out and it was pitch black outside. Jack wasn't showing any signs of waking, though, and the boy had an internal clock like no one else, so Gabriel doubted he was on the verge of missing any important meetings. He wasn't sure he could have faced anyone right then, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to get back to sleep either.

"Jack," he said, stroking Jack's cheek, which seemed to rouse him a little, "you stole the blankets."

"Hm? Oh," Jack said, rolling back, not opening his eyes as he tugged the blanket out from under him, "Sorry. Did I wake you up?" His words slurred together, his head coming to rest against Gabriel's armpit.

"Nah, man... but you did drool on me," Gabriel said, wiping his chest with the blanket. "Go back to sleep, Jackie. Sorry to wake you up." Jack's voice, though, that helped flush out the bad taste in his mouth from the nightmare. Gabriel's big damn hero.

"Did not," Jack muttered, his whole body pressing against Gabriel's. Warm, soft,  naked and in Gabriel's bed. At least he could keep an eye on Jack while he was there. No one could take him away - not Erikson, Okoye, or Kaplan.

"Did so," Gabriel wrapped Jack in his arms, resting his chin on Jack's head. "I'll find it in my heart to forgive you."

But Jack didn't answer, already fast asleep again.

Smiling, Gabriel closed his eyes, wondering if Jack would remember any of this in the morning. Maybe not, but it was enough to put him back to sleep.

~~

When Jack got out of the shower, he could hear voices on the other side of the door. He thanked his lucky stars that he hadn't adjusted to the time difference and had woken up long before Gabriel had. It had given him a chance to make his bed look slept in - unforgivable not to have a made bed back at the base, but in the motel rules were a little more lax thus far - and put a wet towel to Gabriel's bed to make sure there were no obvious stains.

Gabriel had woken, briefly, during the cleaning, asked if Jack needed help, and then in lieu of helping, had moved into Jack's empty place in the bed and fallen back asleep.

It had felt nice. Normal. Like every morning Jack could have woken up with Gabriel there, arms wrapped around him, just listening to the rain outside. He had no idea if Gabriel felt that way too, or if this was just temporary for him. Something to take the edge off combat and... everything else from the night before.

 _Don't be a baby. You're not his boyfriend._ Or was he? What would that mean with Gabriel? A lifetime of wondering who the government might ask him to kill? Or would that be different now that he was in the SEP with Jack? Or would that slowly become Jack's life too? _Talk about getting ahead of yourself_. _It's not like you're a girl he's knocked up, this is just..._

Just sex, as far as Jack knew.

At some point, despite the rain still pouring outside, the lights came back on, which did seem to rouse Gabriel a little more. Jack still wasn't sure what time it was, but he'd assumed he'd had enough time for a shower. Just in case, he'd left the door unlocked but Gabriel had never made an appearance.

He'd assumed that Gabriel had fallen back asleep, but when he turned off the water and heard the voices he realized Gabriel had a new distraction. It was the slow, sure voice of the Colonel - though from what Jack could make out, it was raised.

"This is not up for debate, Captain."

"Is that an order, sir? Because I'm telling you, pairing up Erikson and Goldman is a disaster waiting to happen." Gabriel sounded on edge, even through the door. It was easy for Jack to picture the other man's face from the current conversation. "Pair Morrison with Goldman while I'm in the Captain's position, and put _him_ with someone from his original squad. Hell, pair up three members if you're concerned."

"Specialist Goldman is a professional. She will work with whoever she is assigned to work with," Erikson said, his voice grating. "Morrison will be assigned to Kowalski and Zhang when you are preoccupied with your new duties. If I feel you need an escort, he will be reassigned to you. I want more senior officers working together where we can spare them, and Nathan has more experience on the-"

"Colonel, your nephew has more experience being coddled in assignments where he never saw combat. You can tell me they were 'hostile' zones all you want, but I've reviewed his personnel file. I'd rather hire the maid who cleans this room to watch my Specialist's back," Gabriel said, his voice sounding heated. If Jack had to guess, he was on the edge of losing his temper.

"Careful, Captain," the Colonel said, his voice sending shivers down Jack's spine. "Your assignment is temporary. Mine is not. Goldman is not _your_ Specialist. She is mine."

"...as you say. Sir," Gabriel said, the 'sir' an obvious afterthought. "Anything else, sir?"

"I didn't come here to discuss personnel assignments. I came because of the weather, Captain. Tucson is officially flooding. The electricity we got running is an emergency backup generator, and we're in one of the better high-ground locations, which means the general talk is that the refugees should be moved here," the Colonel said, icy control safely in place once more.

"Which they can't, since no one is supposed to know we're here. Shit," Gabriel said, and Jack could almost visualize him rubbing at his beard, deep in thought. "We can't hide fifty soldiers if they start pouring in here asking why there are no rooms available."

"We also can't move - that will attract attention, even in this chaos. You and Morrison are also the most recognizable soldiers in America right now. Any reporter who sees you is going to put things together. The Omnics catch wind that we're here, they'll change their tactics."

"Or they'd do what I'd do. Launch a rocket directly into this motel the second they attack and make sure we can't mobilize to protect the civilians. They could take us out in one tactical strike, and then our entire advantage is a wash, and these people are all dead." Gabriel heaved a sigh, and Jack could hear the bed creak.

"There's no getting around the Omnics knowing we're here. Not at this rate. Half the city is waist deep in water, and soon we'll be at the very least up to our ankles. We're going to have media swarming to find out why we're here to begin with, and that kind of speculation will only escalate the situation."

Jack chose that moment to slowly open the door, saluting the Colonel and Gabriel when he came out. The Colonel leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking very much like he ought to have been carved from stone and never move from his position. Gabriel was on the edge of the bed, fingers scratching through his beard.

Jack caught both of their attention, though just barely. "Sir, permission to speak?"

The Colonel gave a small nod, barely seeming to move.

"Sir, as you and the Captain said, the media seeing us could raise a lot of questions and cause a panic, but..." Jack glanced at Gabriel, already sensing he wouldn't love this, "what if we use the flood for a cover? Say we're here to assist with refugee evacuation. Nothing related to the Omnics."

Both Gabriel and the Colonel stared, the Colonel unreadable, but Gabriel calculating.

"Doesn't help us if the Omnics still launch a rocket through the front door, but..." Gabriel stood up, pacing towards the couch and back, "it does mean we have an excuse to be here. No panic. The Omnics don't know we're onto them. We can take precautions, be out in plain sight and set up surveillance..."

"We would still have to sell the media on it. Explain why we're using our secret weapon to help refugees instead of dropping them in Phoenix." As Gabriel looked like he might say something, he held up his hand. "Continuing air strikes will make a decent cover. As I said, we need to sell it to the media."

"The Golden Boy can do it." Gabriel smirked, looking at Jack. "Reporters already love him. The American people know him. Give him the spotlight."

Jack could feel himself getting red as the two men talked about him. That hadn't been his plan, but it was better than being refused outright. He wished he could say the plan was a stroke of genius that might help, but when he'd thought of it while he was standing at the door he'd only had one thing in mind: it was the one plan that actually involved SEP helping the refugees instead of laying in wait for the Omnics. He had _not_ expected to be pushed front and center of any initiative.

"I... wouldn't it be better coming from you, sir?" Jack looked at Gabriel, hoping the other man would throw him a bone.

He didn't.

"You look better on camera than I do."

If the Colonel hadn't been standing right there, Jack thought he might have strangled him.

~~

Jack _did_ look better on camera than Gabriel did, but he didn't need to watch their little impromptu press conference to know that. The Colonel had come up with the idea that Jack and some of the more glowing members of SEP would be caught on camera helping refugees and locals trying to escape the flooding.

Gabriel had thoroughly enjoyed Jack flipping him off as he left to wade through the backed up sewage along with the other soldiers, but his more spiteful joy had come from Nathan Erikson _not_ getting to go. He had seen the other man fuming across the room as he'd called out the names of the soldiers who were authorized to speak with reporters, and when he passed the "E" last names and moved onto "F" the soldier had stalked out of the room like a sulking child. He'd also watched Goldman fighting not to laugh, and showing no such disappointment when her name wasn't on the list either.

For Erikson, it was a punishment, but for Abbey it would no doubt come as a relief.

He wasn't finished with Nathan _motherfucking_ Erikson by a long shot, though. It would mean he'd miss seeing Jack on TV, which would have been entertaining to watch, but he had a message to send.

Finding Nathan in his brand new shared room with Abbey was easy enough. He sat on the couch, door unlocked, face set in a deep scowl as he watched Jack speak to the camera.

" _The situation for these refugees, innocent American citizens who have been driven from their homes, is now well in hand thanks to the assistance of the Soldier Enhancement Program_ -"

"Don't like what you see, Erikson?"

Nathan jumped, apparently not having noticed Gabriel's entrance to his room, "Christ, what do _you_ want?" No 'sir' and no 'Captain', which was exactly what Gabriel expected. Good, the tone was set. "Let me guess, come to gloat about how your little twink gets the spotlight again, and you get to shove me off on your lackey?"

For a moment the thought of Jack being called a twink was amusing - he hadn't matched that description since the end of their first month - but the novelty wore off fast. Fighting against other members of SEP should have been difficult, but with Erikson it took even less effort to grab his arm and have him face down on the floor with a knee between his shoulder blades than it had taken to tie up the entirely willing Jack the night before. A pillow over Erikson's face took care of the yelp of surprise when Gabriel took him down and held him with ease despite his attempts to struggle.

"Stop moving, or I'll break your fucking arm, _pendejo_ ," Gabriel threatened, feeling a lot less sexy when it was Erikson he was on top of. "You and I need to make some things fucking clear right now. Some things involve you running your mouth about the Court."

That made Nathan freeze up, growling under his breath. "So what the fuck're you going to do about it? _Tell_ on me? Like some fucking snitch? Like the fucking bitch-ass-"

"You're really going to need to learn when you _shut up_ ," Gabriel said, twisting Nathan's arm. To the other man's credit, he didn't scream, but his already pale skin was practically sheet white now. "You're playing with the adults right now, Erikson, when you should have been left at the kid's table. It's time to grow up." He let Nathan go, half expecting the soldier to take a swing at him.

Instead Nathan massaged his arm, pulling away and glaring at Gabriel with pure venom. "Is that all you came here to do? Give me grief for letting everyone know what you are?"

"You wanted to be _exactly_ like me. Or maybe that's what your mommy and daddy wanted that - I don't know, and I also don't really care. They can't save you from a Court Martial, which is exactly where you're headed the next time I hear you're talking shit about something no one here should know about." Gabriel stood tall, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is me giving you your final warning: smarten up, or your career is over."

Nathan glared at him, but slowly his look turned into a smirk. "You're making a lot of demands for someone in the position _you're_ in."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You're not showing a lot of concern for your _friend,_ " Nathan said, emphasizing 'friend' as though it were meant to have some secondary meaning. If Nathan hadn't already made his opinion about Gabriel's sexuality so clear, he would have thought he was implying they were sleeping together. Then again, maybe Nathan just threw as many insults as he could at the people he hated and waited for one to stick. "How do you expect me to watch her back when I'm so distracted worrying about her moody beard?"

He didn't say anything to that at first. He didn't need to. The look on Nathan's face told Gabriel that his expression was doing all his work for him. The other man was terrified, taking a step back when Gabriel took a step forward.

"This next part, I'm going to make _very_ clear. If Abbey dies, _you_ die," Gabriel said, his voice so calm he may as well have been telling Nathan what time they'd be serving lunch. "That isn't a threat. That's a promise."

"You're..." Nathan said, his voice barely a whimper, "you're a fucking psychopath, you know that? Fucking _crazy_." He moved to the door as quickly as he could, opening it to leave.

Abbey stood on the other side, coffee in one hand and her key in the other. "Oh hey. Didn't know how you take yours, so I didn't bring one-" Nathan brushed past her, not saying a word. She glanced at Gabriel, raising an eyebrow and walking into the room. "Something I said?" She kicked the door shut behind her.

"She said as though she hadn't been standing out there listening," Gabriel said, slowly clenching and unclenching his fist. It was so easy to picture wrapping it around Nathan's throat. Crushing his windpipe. Putting his face through a wall.

_You are Gabriel Reyes and you are fine._

"I could just kill him, you know," Abbey said, echoing his thoughts, breaking his concentration. "Send us out on patrol. He doesn't need to come back."

"Funny, he said the same thing about you," Gabriel said, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes to center himself. "You need to watch your back out there. He's not going to be watching yours."

"So tell me to kill him," Abbey said, eyebrow raised.

"Stop kidding around."

"Who's kidding?" Abbey asked, squaring off with him. "I'm your Queen. Tell me to take him off the game board, I'll take him off."

"Don't. We're not playing that game here, no matter how much we don't like him," Gabriel said, watching as Abbey absently sipped her coffee.  She would do it. There was no fucking around, not on this one. "This isn't the Court. We don't kill people just because we don't like them, no matter what I threatened."

"Why not?" she asked, savoring her coffee and swirling it around. "We've killed people for less than that. If you think you'd feel bad about it, just look the other way. Don't think about it. He won't even feel-"

" _No_." Gabriel said, drawing his posture up. "I'll get you reassigned. I'll get him put on desk duty where he can be safe and out of the way. No one has to die, and even if someone did, it wouldn't be our choice to make."

"So, what? All your talk about threats and promises are just words in the wind?" Abbey asked, stepping closer to him. "If he leaves me to die, will you let him live?"

"No. But he won't get the chance. I'll sweet talk his uncle, get you assigned with Jack while this Captain shit is still happening, and then I'll get you someone new," Gabriel said, pressing his finger against her shoulder. He was half surprised that she let him. "Don't. Start. Shit."

Abbey held up her hands, very nearly spilling her coffee, all innocence now. "Hey, as you wish, your Majesty. You want to play the dashing hero now that you're dating the golden prince, that's your prerogative. Though if you want to switch me over to babysit your boyfriend, I think you're wasting my talents."

"He's not my boyfriend. And you need to stop being melodramatic, it doesn't suit you," Gabriel said, sighing and sitting on the arm of the couch. "I need you at your best right now."

"Hey, I am at my best. Sans that useless twat," Abbey said, nodding over her shoulder. "My brother and his kids are alive, Juan's still safe and sound in New York, and you're getting laid. I'm shiny and new. Mind you," she sipped her coffee again, "how well can things be going for _you_ if you're not calling Jackie your boyfriend?"

Gabriel glared. "You're changing the subject."

"How astute of you."

"Abbey."

"Gabbi." She mocked, wiggling her eyebrows. "Come on, you said to behave. I'll behave. Why did you get hung up about me calling Jackie-boy your boyfriend?"

"I'm not. It's..." Gabriel crossed his arms. He hated when she turned these things around on him. "We haven't talked about it. And right now considering my position, I damn well _shouldn't_ be talking about it."

"So I shouldn't add him to my Christmas card list?" Abbey asked, setting aside her empty coffee mug and slouching onto the couch.

"You don't even celebrate Christmas," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. "Why does it matter what I call him?"

"It matters because you're you, and he's him. I'm not a fucking psychologist, but, Gabe, let's not mince words here. Jack's still a rookie, and I'm betting in more ways than one. He's not jaded like we are. Not yet, anyway." Abbey smiled a little, but Gabriel caught a hint of genuine concern there.

Strangely, it reminded him of his nightmare, though it put Abbey in a much different light.

"My point is... the kid's not made of glass, but he wants to impress you. Hell, he's falling all over himself for you," Abbey said, leaning back against Gabriel. "He's a Disney Prince looking to get his heart broken. So if this is just a short-term hook up for you, you should probably tell him before he does something stupid."

"It isn't that simple. Not everyone can be you and Juan, Abbey," Gabriel said, shifting to let her drop her head into his lap. "This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. Things don't need to get complicated." Though of course they were, just like he had known they would.

For a second, just a second - he told himself - he had been terrified when Jack had asked him about the Court. What Jack knew only scratched the surface of what could be found there.

"What, you think Juan and I wake up every morning and get our hair braided by birds? I don't live in a dime store romance novel. Just because you don't hear us having massive fights doesn't mean we don't have them," Abbey said, getting comfortable. "I don't lie to Juan, even if sometimes that might make him happier."

"No, I don't expect... how much does he know?" Gabriel asked, half ready to lecture Abbey on the nature of top secret missions.

"I'm not exactly telling him about the  Rice family, but if he asks me why he's found blood on my clothes, I'll tell him. He sees things on the news, connects the dots. Knows I know more about pain than an average person probably should." Abbey shrugged. "He knows what kind of monster he married."

"Don't call yourself that," Gabriel growled under his breath, looking away from her - but she reached up and caught his chin.

"I know what I am. Juan knows what I am. You and I are the things that go bump in the night. He's still your friend. He still loves me. Jack might love you too, if you let him," Abbey said, tilting her head. "I mean, hell, he'd probably do anything for you already."

"He knows about the Court. I'm not keeping him completely in the dark," Gabriel said, as though that might somehow sate her curiosity on the subject.

"Good, you're growing as a person. Now ask him what he wants out of your relationship, like an adult, and think about what _you_ want, like an adult, and then have an _adult_ conversation," Abbey said, flicking Gabriel's nose. "Then, once you've got that step down, and _if_ you've decided that Jackie is more than a fling for you, be honest with him. That's how relationships work."

Gabriel sighed. "How long have you been waiting to corner me with this?"

"Eh, pretty much since he saved my brother. Figured I owed him," she said, grinning. "Also you're in a better mood when you're getting laid on a consistent basis. You have this well-sexed glow about you."

"You're a real comedian," Gabriel said, kicking a leg up on the coffee table. "Fine, I'll be an _adult_ , and you'll be a good soldier. I'll get you transferred from trash-duty with Nathan, so don't do anything drastic."

"My way's easier." Abbey sighed, but she nodded. "I said I'd be good. I'll be good. But you'd better do what I say."

"Cross my heart, your Majesty." Gabriel said, drawing an X over his chest. "I'll behave if you do."

"Please. You never behave."

~~

Five days and a set of injections later, Jack was exhausted, every single pair of clothes he owned were dirty, and he had seen his face on the news more times than he ever wanted to for the rest of his existence. His shoes were soggy, his socks were wet, and half the time he was worried he was going to catch a cold (although he never did).

As bad as the days were, though, every night was something else.

"Come on, Jack, beg for it. I know you want it."

And God, Jack would have begged for it if he could have, which meant it was probably a good thing that Gabriel had kept up his new tradition of keeping Jack gagged while they were having sex. The walls were thin enough that half of him wasn't sure the soldiers in the next room _couldn't_ hear them. Perched precariously on Gabriel's lap as he was, it was a struggle not to kick the wall in an effort to get some balance back, because he had nearly slipped off the bed twice, which left him impaled on Gabriel's cock, crying and whining into his gag - a pillow case this time.

"I know you can take all of it. Be a good boy. Show me how much you like it." He couldn't see Gabriel's face either, because this time Gabriel had blindfolded him too.

Either way Jack was working himself up and down on Gabriel's cock, angling his own hips so that every movement stroked against his abused prostate. His arms were tied behind his back, but Gabriel wasn't holding them tonight. Instead his fingers were on Jack's nipples, twisting and pinching them while Jack fucked himself on Gabriel.

"Just us here, Jack." Gabriel was starting to sound breathy, losing himself in it too. After five nights straight of either having Gabriel balls deep inside his ass or his mouth, Jack was getting a pretty good sense of when his partner was ready to blow. "No one else has to know what a slut you are."

It didn't take much more to send Jack over the edge. Not with his erect nipples squeezed between Gabriel's thick fingers, his hole stretched to the brim, his ass cradled against Gabriel's hips, and his hands tied. Jack moaned, his head falling back onto Gabriel's shoulder as he came, every nerve buzzing with orgasm.

Shockingly, Gabriel came with him, pressing Jack against his chest, almost knocking the wind out of him. The two of them stayed still for a moment, panting and catching their breath, before Gabriel eased off, which very nearly made Jack fall onto the floor before Gabriel caught him.

" _Dios mio_ , come on, Jack, don't break your neck," he said with a chuckle, managing to redirect Jack's fall and get him onto the bed.

Jack managed to make a noise that he supposed could have been an agreement while Gabriel worked at undoing his wrists. When he finally got control of his arms, he managed to take the gag out of his mouth while Gabriel took the makeshift blindfold off. Aside from that, he didn't move, content to lay on the bed while Gabriel did whatever it was he was doing.

Something had seemed off about Gabriel, lately, though he still wasn't sure he could say he knew the other man well enough to confront him about it. It could have been one of a million things. Waiting for the Omnics, being promoted to Captain again, or maybe even just that Jack knew about the Court now. He was just so _quiet -_ which wasn't to say that Gabriel was a chatterbox, but he usually talked more than this. Something was just... off.

Gabriel had also been having nightmares. Maybe he always had them, Jack had no way of knowing (except asking, and he told himself Gabriel might have told him if he did, but he still didn't), but at least once a night he'd be roused by Gabriel mumbling in his sleep, his head jerking and teeth grinding. Sometimes Jack barely woke up himself, other times he wound up with a hand in his face, or Gabriel gripping his arm so hard it took everything Jack had not to scream in pain.

' _Shh, Gabe, shh, it's okay. Go to sleep._ ' Sometimes Gabriel would wake up, but in the morning he never seemed to remember. Or, again, Jack guessed that, because he could never think of a way to bring it up. ' _Hey Gabriel, do you always have horrible nightmares or is this a recent thing_?' Maybe Gabriel wasn't even sure.

"Too much, or you still good?" Gabriel asked, laying down beside him.

"What...? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Jack said, trying to ground himself back in reality.

"You sure? I thought the 'slut' thing might be a bit much," Gabriel said, running his hand over one of Jack's ass cheeks. He dug his thumb in a little, prying Jack open and looking at him.

Jack blushed, squirming a little. "Hey now-"

"Just checking up on you," Gabriel smirked, pushing his thumb against Jack's hole and making him gasp. "You fell pretty hard, and knowing you you'd have kept going anyway. Even if it hurt. Or maybe especially if it did?"

Jack groaned, leaning his head forward and biting into a pillow as Gabriel massaged his finger into him. Every nerve still felt sensitive, and the touch was the pleasant mix of painful and delightful heat that Jack was beginning to worry he was getting addicted to. Even the mild humiliation of Gabriel performing the impromptu examination stirred his cock, which ached at the prospect of getting hard again.

"Keep this up and I won't be able to... to walk tomorrow..." Jack managed to mumble out, grinding into the bed, which hurt his sensitive skin enough to _almost_ kill the erection.

"Oh, well, can't have that," Gabriel said, taking his hand away and making Jack moan again, a little disappointed by the loss.

"You are _such_ a bastard," Jack mumbled, trying to roll away, but Gabriel caught his wrist and leaned in, kissing him and pinning him to the bed. "Mhm. Such a bastard."

"You know it.” Gabriel grinned, pulling away and laying back on the bed. Almost instantly, Jack missed the warmth and tried to move closer, but he stopped himself, hoping Gabriel wouldn't notice.

So, of course, he did. "I don't bite, you know."

"That is a bold-faced lie," Jack said, indicating a large bite mark on his shoulder from the night before.

Gabriel snorted. "Fair enough, fair enough... just thought you might want to catch your breath is all." He didn't move again, closing his eyes and taking a long breath. It was strange, how far away it made him seem from Jack.

For a moment, he worried that Gabriel might simply fall asleep, and suddenly with Gabriel feeling so distant he felt a need to reach out. "So, are you okay?"

Gabriel's eyes snapped open a lot faster than Jack felt the question warranted. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I guess you've just been quiet lately, is all," Jack said, directing his gaze at the bedspread between them. "I just thought you might want to talk. Or something."

"We already did _something_ ," Gabriel said, turning on his side to face Jack, "and I told you, talking about stuff doesn't help. Besides, it's not-" He cut himself off, hesitating. "Things are just complicated right now. There's a lot going on."

Jack turned on his back, sighing and shaking his head. "Okay, fine. Do whatever, then. I'm going to shower." He went to get up - but Gabriel took his wrist again.

"Hey, come on, don't be like that," Gabriel said, his grip loose enough that Jack could slip out if he wanted to, but strong enough to make Jack stop. "It isn't that I don't want to talk, it's just... a weird thing to bring up with everything else that's happening right now."

"Okay, but if something's bugging you enough that _I_ noticed then come on." Jack tried to joke, but he had an unsettling anxiety stirring in the pit of his stomach. "You've been weird since we got here."

 _It could be anything. He's had a lot on his mind. It doesn't have to be you_. He took a deep breath, hoping it would settle him down, but standing naked on the floor right then felt almost as vulnerable as being on the battlefield.

"I don't know if it's because of everything that's happening here, because I know you've got a reputation and all that to maintain... but if it's..." He didn't want to say it. "If it's me, or everything about the Court, or something like that, then I need to know. Don't leave me hanging here."

Gabriel sighed, letting go of his wrist, sitting up on the bed. "You're really laying it out there, aren't you? But you're the last thing I'm worried about in all this." He stopped, seeming to realize what he said. "No, that didn't come out right. I meant I'm not... look, this is harder when you're standing there naked. Can you just sit back down?"

Jack sat, playing with the hem of the blanket. "Okay, but now you're making me nervous." As though he hadn't been already.

"Hell, I should be the one who's nervous," Gabriel muttered, scratching at his beard. "It's just that with everything that's been happening, the war, SEP, you and me... I've been thinking a lot about the future, if we have one."

"If we have one?"

"If we die, I mean. Which I'm hoping not, but... there are fifty of us guarding fifty thousand people who we aren't moving out of here nearly fast enough. And I already lost Parsons... fuck, I've known him for years. And all the stuff with Abbey's brother, then nearly losing her too. It's been a long time since my life has been anywhere near this crazy, and I've had some pretty fucked up moments in my life." Gabriel rubbed his face now, shoulders slumping. "I'm not explaining this very well."

"Not really, but that's okay," Jack said, wondering whether or not he should take Gabriel's hand, since now the other man seemed to be squirming even more than he usually did.

Gabriel didn't seem to notice, wrapped up in whatever he was trying to say. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe it would be nice to have something else to look forward to when all this shit's done. I don't know what your plans are, but I've been thinking we could... make a go of it."

Jack wasn't sure if he needed to have his hearing checked. "Make a go of it?"

"I mean I'm not saying I'm going to come to Indiana and plow anything that isn't you, but... it's a thought." Gabriel laughed at his own joke, but it was fake and humorless.

"You're serious?" Jack asked, wishing his voice didn't sound so pathetic.

"Yeah, I'm fucking serious. I mean, Jesus, if you don't want to just say so. I get that I'm not exactly the type your Good Old Boy parents might want you dragging back for a family dinner but we sort of have a good thing going so far, don't you think?" Gabriel said, staring at the wall. He was grinding his teeth a little.

"Oh, no, shit, I didn't mean it like that," Jack said, kneeling over and taking Gabriel's hand this time. "I sort of figured that if you have other people to be around I'm not... you know, your first choice."

"Well, I don't exactly go around screwing new recruits at the drop of a hat. It's been a while since I've been with anyone. So for right now, yeah, you sort of are," Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow.

Jack smiled, laughing and relaxing as he leaned forward, his head butting against Gabriel's shoulder. "Were you seriously worried that I'd turn you down because of what my parents would think?"

"Well you do seem to care what they think about your life," Gabriel said, resting his head against Jack's. "After all this is over, you want to be a poetry professor or whatever instead of a farmer or a soldier? Do it. Get away from all this fighting or some small-minded town in the middle of nowhere. SEP stuff will probably take me out of the Court for good, so then we can just... like I said, we can make a go of it. If Abbey can figure it out so can I. Maybe set up camp at the base in San Diego, since att least it's fucking warm there. Can't stand New York in winter."

"Is that what's been bugging you all week? That you're feeling all domestic suddenly?" Jack asked, grinning and kissing Gabriel's neck.

"Look, if I'm blowing smoke out my ass you can just say so," Gabriel said, elbowing Jack back onto the bed.

Jack let himself fall, a sense of euphoria washing over him. It was, after all, a nice dream to have. Something he had never _let_ himself have. After all, he'd always intended to go back and work the farm once everything was over. His parents needed him, that was his priority. At least, until the war and  SEP had come along. His mother could still be right; they might not even _let_ him go. Or he and Gabriel could both just... die. Then he'd never have a chance to do any of that.

He wondered what it was like in San Diego.

"You're not, I just never thought about it. There's joining the military and then there's... God, I bet my parents would be pissed if I ran off with you," Jack said, poking his foot into Gabriel's stomach. "You mean it? You and me, after all this shit with the Omnics, we make a go of it? Go on dates and crap like that?"

Gabriel caught Jack's ankle, pulling him back across the sheets. "Yeah, dates and crap. We can even find somewhere with thicker walls so I can hear you scream my name when you come."

"Promises, promises," Jack rolled his eyes, then he leaned up and kissed Gabriel again. "Let's make a go of it. After all of this is done with. But if you make any other jokes about plowing me, then I'm breaking up with you."

 _Dear mom and dad. I think I have a boyfriend_.

"Oh please, you love it," Gabriel said, a grin spreading across his face. He pulled Jack's hips against his, kissing him again. "But you listen to orders for now, alright? None of your superheroics. I'm keeping you alive. You and everyone else."

"You want to hear that I won't do anything stupid. Right." Jack sighed, but he nodded. "Good soldiers follow orders and all that."

"Yeah, exactly. Look, I'll bribe you if you want, but I want you to make it through this. I'm really, really not into necrophilia," Gabriel said, squeezing Jack's hips lightly. "I'm not going to pull you out of the fight, because you're good and we can't afford to lose anyone else right now. So don't throw your life away. You can save more people alive than dead."

Jack nodded, sighing and putting his hands over Gabriel's. "Well, I can't exactly make any promises about not dying, but I'll give it a go."

"I'll take what I can get." Gabriel chuckled, leaning his forehead against Jack's. "Happy now?"

"Yeah. I think I'd be good with tonight never ending, actually," Jack said, grinning from ear to ear. "But also I know where your hands have been, so can _we_ please have a shower?"

"You're so romantic."

"Yeah, well, you're not seducing me with smelly fingers."

"It's _your_ smelly ass."

It took them another fifteen minutes to finally get out of bed, but the whole thing reminded Jack of being back in the farm hayloft, far away from prying eyes, where he'd been able to be himself. Gabriel, in that moment, felt like that emotion made flesh.

He wondered if that was what love felt like.

~~

In the darkened city of Phoenix, Hactcin was waiting. Across his screen, the reports came in. They came in flickering images, ones and zeroes, and words. English. Spanish. Other messages from around the world. The report from Perun was what he was waiting for, but it came as a single word. Russian.

" _Ready_."

"It is time." He did not speak in words, not as the humans who made him did. He had no need to when the others could hear him, every word, every thought traveling through the God Program. The Omnics would follow. They would all do as they were told. They would obey. They would destroy.

"Let the humans launch their missiles. Let them believe they have won victories," the others chorused the words with him, thousands of voices ready to purge the world of mankind. "Let them cling to their false idols."

He would show true strength by destroying their heroes, just as Perun would destroy those in Russia who believed they had pushed the Omnics back. The Russians and their Svyatogors would fall. The Germans and their Crusaders would fall.

The Americans and SEP would fall. He would play his part.

"Death to all those who oppose us."


	12. Last Day in Tucson

**Chapter Twelve**

"Helix rockets?" Gabriel asked, lifting one of the devices and turning it over in his hand.

"A gift from the generous General Kaplan," the Colonel said, peering over the weapons. "We move the refugees starting tomorrow, but we need to be prepared. It will be a vulnerable time, and any help we can get will have to come from Phoenix now."

Gabriel nodded, setting down the rocket and crossing his arms over his chest. "Anything that helps us. It's been quiet lately. Too quiet." He would have laughed at his own bad joke if it had been anyone other than the Colonel, but he doubted the man had much of a sense of humor.

"There is always the possibility that you are wrong. That your speculation, however earnestly meant, was misplaced, as was mine and General Kaplan's faith in you," the Colonel said, though his tone was so deadpan that Gabriel almost thought he had misheard, and the other man changed topics so quickly that Gabriel was left off guard. "Also, your final injection will be scheduled for after the evacuation. It will be a slight delay, but everyone needs to be at their best tomorrow."

"I- yes sir," Gabriel said, feeling wary now. "I'm not wrong, sir." Though, even having very little doubt before, it certainly felt that way right then.

"Perhaps. Maybe we'll never know, one way or the other," the Colonel said, going to the window. "See that we have the rockets distributed. Precautionary measures must be taken in order to-"

Gabriel turned when he heard footsteps pounding down the hall. The door flew open with no knock, Nadia appearing with her sniper rifle already over her shoulder. "Colonel, Captain." She saluted hastily, "West sensors were just tripped. Surveillance is out."

The Colonel stood up straighter, grabbing one of the Helix rifles and handling it over to Gabriel. "Ominics?"

"We think so, sir. Whatever it is, it's big, and there's probably more than one of them if we've judged their signal correctly," Nadia said. "ETA is three minutes."

Gabriel glanced at the Colonel. "We need to call in an airstrike from Texas, sir."

Nadia stared at him. "There are still civilians in that area! Sir, we can't-"

"It took ten minutes in Phoenix for us to lose the city. Losing five thousand civilians is better than losing all of them. Call in an airstrike on the West." The Colonel nodded at Gabriel. "Kowalski, recall all soldiers who are on scouting missions. We'll regroup at the community center - we can't risk the Omnics knowing where our central operations are taking place."

"Sir, yes sir!" Gabriel and Nadia chorused, but Gabriel was moving well before she was. He'd call the airstrike himself, just to make sure no one else intervened. It was the kind of call he wouldn't trust to someone like Jack, or even like Nadia.

" _What would you do if it meant saving everyone on this Earth_?" Okoye's question suddenly like an ominous reminder.

" _Exactly what I'd have to_."

It didn’t take long, in the end. Just a quick curt message with coordinates, and then--

"Captain Reyes, we read you, calling in Air Strike."

He still didn't feel good about calling it in. Jack would hate it, if he knew. Did he tell his damn boy scout that he'd been the first to recommend the idea, or did he leave it alone? Abbey had said that she didn't tell Juan everything. Maybe this was one of those moments.

Either way, there wasn't time to wait around and contemplate how best to handle his new relationship.

"Everyone, we're moving out to the community center. There will be a full recall on every scouting party," he announced to the room of quiet soldiers who had listened to him call in the air strike. "On your way out, pick up a Helix rifle from the Colonel's room. We move triple time right now. Phoenix was lost in ten minutes. New Mexico was lost in half an hour. Let's give them Hell." That got some 'hurrahs' and enthused moving towards the doors- but it didn't erase the feeling in the pit of Gabriel's stomach.

How long would it take for transport for the refugees to arrive? How long could they last with only fifty of them and an air strike?

"Gabe!" He turned when he left the room, spotting Jack moving towards him, already armed with a Helix rifle, and Maggie not far behind him. "What's going on? They're saying Omnics are-"

"No time. We're rallying at the community center - everyone has to move there. If the Omnics know where we've been staying because of the news then we'll be the first place they-"

"INCOMING!"

Gabriel hit the floor as fast as he could, but he still felt the impact throwing him to the side. His back hit a flimsy wall, and for once he was relieved by how thin the walls were, as he went straight through the drywall, rolled across a bed, and came to a stop on the floor beside it. His eyes burned and he felt like he was breathing in fire, making him cough violently as he tried to cover his head. His body screamed with the effort of moving even that much. He could barely see anything from the dust in the air, and when he finally managed to move from being flat on his stomach to his hands and knees, dust, broken glass and pieces of the wall fell off of him.

He could vaguely make out fire somewhere, and he heard shouting. There was ringing in his ears that seemed louder than the explosions in the distance. Omnics, or the air strike? Which would get to them first?

 _How many civilians are dead because of you_?

No time to worry about that. No time to wait. They had to rally, or the entire city would fall, and then how many lives would he have on his head? _Saint Peter will have a word or two for me when that happens_... Strange, how his abuelita's old sayings kept sneaking back to him.

Gabriel dragged himself up, clinging to the side of the bed. The room seemed fuzzy and far away, and he could see that some of the second floor had collapsed into the room around him. Almost like it might block the hallway-

The hallway where Jack was.

"Jack!" He could have sworn he said that, but he couldn't hear himself. Just the ringing. He stumbled into the hall, stopping only for a moment to look at the hole in the wall where he'd gone through.

Then he saw where half of the upper floor had collapsed into the hallway.

Lunging forward, he started pulling away bits of debris, still calling out, but he couldn't hear himself. He pushed aside the rubble, feeling the dust between his bloody fingers. _Where did the blood come from_? He stopped when he came to a severed arm in the rubble. A man's, he thought, but the skin was too dark to be Jack's. Who else had been in the hallway?

"Damnit..." He heard someone say faintly. It could have been his own voice for all he knew. Gabriel kept sifting through the rubble, pulling away a chunk of the floor, half expecting to find more body parts - but instead he felt cloth.

"Jack?"

Gabriel pulled back a layer of carpet that had fallen from above him, revealing some of Jack, his head bowed as he crouched overtop of Maggie, back braced up against a set of fallen pipes. From the look of it, Maggie had been trying to dig her way out while Jack shielded her. Both of them were covered in dust and grime, and blood dripped down the side of Jack's head, but otherwise they appeared unharmed.

"Captain?" Maggie said, coughing and looking shocked. Despite the ringing in his ears, Gabriel could make out what they were saying now. Had they been calling for help? Was there anyone else trapped there?

"Oh, hey..." Jack looked up, smiling and coughing a little. "Mind giving us a hand, boss?"

Having just found a severed arm, Gabriel didn't feel as inclined to laugh as he normally would have. If Maggie hadn't been there, he'd have dragged him out of the debris and kissed him.

"Yeah, you two look like you could use it," Gabriel said, grabbing hold of the pipes on Jack's back and leveraging them off of him, letting Maggie crawl out before Jack followed after her. "We have to keep moving. The air strike might slow them down, but we were their target."

"Anyone else make it? I thought I saw Waltz in the hall with us-" Jack tried to say, stumbling to his feet.

"Dead." Gabriel said, letting the pipes fall to the floor. "If there's anyone else further in... we don't have time." If it had been anyone else but Jack, he would have kept going. It was stupid of him to stay. _You're in shock. That's the only reason why I did_.

"We won't have... no , you're right, we have to keep going. They already know we're here and-" Jack stopped dead, looking down. "-Jesus, Gabriel, your _leg_."

Gabriel looked down, blinking when he saw what Jack meant. There was a short piece of rebar going straight through his right thigh. He hadn't even felt it. "Well... shit."

"He can't walk like that. We have to carry him if we're going to keep moving," Maggie said, wiping her forehead. "We can't pull it out either. That'll just make it worse."

"Right. On my back, Captain." Jack smiled a little, leaning down and handing Maggie his rifle.

Now that Gabriel could see it, he was finally starting to feel it. "Don't be idiots. You two get moving to the checkpoint. I'll either get there or I won't."

"Don't be a drama queen. Get on," Jack said, glaring over his shoulder. "I'm not leaving without you."

"Better listen to him, Captain. He's stubborn," Maggie said, slinging one rifle over her shoulder and holding the other one at the ready. "We also don't have time to argue."

Gabriel sighed, throwing his own rifle over his shoulder, just glad it wasn't broken, and slowly climbing onto Jack's back. "I'll get you for this later."

"Yeah, yeah. Send me a memo," Jack said, hoisting Gabriel over his shoulder, jostling his leg painfully.

"Giving you a formal write-up with HR and everything. Just you wait," Gabriel said, biting the inside of his lip. "It'll be scathing."

He closed his eyes, taking a long breath and resting his head against Jack. He could hear him breathing when they were this close. Jack was alive, though. That one horrifying moment where he could have died could slip away into Gabriel's nightmares.

 _Keep him alive. Keep them all alive_.

~~

"Extraction point Charlie is our best option as it stands," Colonel Erikson said, looking worse for wear himself, which Gabriel thought was nice. He wasn't sure that the man would bleed when he was cut, half expecting that the man would crumble like the marble statue he appeared to be. "Alpha is too close to the hot zone. Beta is too close to the motel."

Which was hit three more times by shells by the time Gabriel, Jack and Maggie had arrived at the command center.

"Then we send out the message to the soldiers stationed at the refugee centers. The trick is going to be the ones that are closer to the hot zone, and the citizens of Tucson. We don't have a lot of time. The air strike only slowed them down," Gabriel said, wincing as a medic stabilized his leg. "Do you have to do that right _now_?"

"Sorry, sir, but the rebar can do serious damage. If it weren't for your enhancements, it's likely you would have bled to death before you arrived here," the medic said, shrugging and finishing wrapping Gabriel's leg.

The Colonel nodded. "As she says. We're still missing three soldiers from the motel. Waltz, Martinez and Elliot failed to check in."

"Safe to assume they won't," Gabriel said, straightening and growling when his leg almost gave out from under him. "We don't have time to look for them or their remains. I'm certain Waltz didn't make it. For now we need to concentrate our efforts on moving the refugees to the extraction point and moving the citizens. We can't send out and mass communication - the Omnics will pick it up."

"We will have to count on our ground forces to rally them. The process has already begun. The teams have been sent out, but my primary concern for the moment is camp four. They responded initially, but now that they have checked in one of the soldiers is... missing," Erikson said, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Missing? Who?" Gabriel asked, leaning back against the table, taking the weight off his leg.

"It's-" the Colonel paused as Nadia came to the entrance to the tent.

"Sir, it's Specialist Goldman reporting back. She has an update," Nadia said, handing the Colonel a radio and glancing at Gabriel. Her posture seemed almost apologetic.

"This is Colonel Erikson. Give your report, Specialist. Over," Erikson said, holding the radio out so Gabriel could hear it.

" _Sir, we need to move out. The refugees are getting restless, and the locals are starting to crowd this way looking for answers. Unless we move we're going to have some serious problems here. We can't afford to wait around for him - it's better to assume Erikson is dead. Over_." On a scale of one to thoroughly pissed off, Gabriel would have ranked Abbey's voice at around 'fuck you'.

Gabriel glared at the Colonel, clenching his fists. He glanced at the medic and Nadia. "Get out."

"That's not acceptable, Specialist," the Colonel said. "I want him found and brought back. If you must send the refugees alone, then do it, but I will not have him left there. Over."

"Sir, this is ridiculous. You can't expect her to stay to find him," Gabriel snapped, nearly pulling the radio from his superior's hands. "There are hundreds of refugees we have to move from that location. We don't have the resources to spare!"

"Then she will remain until she finds him, and the rest of her team can move the refugees," the Colonel said, leaving no room for disagreement. "This is a direct order, Captain."

" _Copy, sir_ ," Abbey said, " _but just so you know, sir, between gathering civilians and moving the refugees, we have five of us, which will now be short one while I look for him. Over._ "

Gabriel reached out and took the radio from the Colonel, the only act of defiance he could muster, and held the radio to his lips. "Goldman, this is Reyes. Begin your search, but I'm sending backup. You're closest to the hot zone, so keep your radio at the ready to give coordinates. Over."

" _Copy that, Captain. Over and out_."

Gabriel glared at the Colonel, handing the radio back to him. "I'm sending Kowalski and Zhang with Morrison. We need to reinforce that area as is. Everyone else needs to keep civilians clear while we wait for another air strike and for backup forces on the ground. Then we fall back."

"I'm not disagreeing, Captain," the Colonel said, crossing his arms. "With three of our soldiers already missing, we cannot afford to waste anyone else."

"Of course, sir. Him being your nephew certainly has nothing to do with why we're endangering civilians and other members of SEP," Gabriel said, walking towards the tent exit - before the Colonel grabbed his arm, making him stop dead.

"And does Specialist Goldman being the one I've sent after him have something to do with _your_ reaction, Captain?" Erikson asked, seeming untouched by the situation. "Should I be concerned about your level of fraternization with your subordinates?"

"I'd worry about it if we survive this, Colonel," Gabriel growled back, opening the door to where Jack, Maggie and Nadia were waiting.

He closed it behind him before speaking. "You three. I need you to get to camp four and back up Specialist Goldman. She's looking for Nathan Erikson. Kowalski, you know the situation?"

Nadia nodded, though her face betrayed her feelings about the situation. "Yes, sir. This is a waste of time, sir."

"No argument from me. We might as well be trying to dig Elliot and Martinez out of the motel while the Omnics are dropping shells on our heads. It's what the Colonel wants, so it's what we're doing. When you get there try and focus your efforts on helping move the refugees, and backup Specialist Goldman when you can," Gabriel said, glancing at Jack. "Morrison, a word before you move out?"

Jack nodded, stepping away from Nadia and Maggie, who went to get their weapons. "How's the leg?"

"Been better," Gabriel said, before grabbing the front of Jack's shirt and dragging him in for a kiss.

Jack was startled, but didn't stop him, kissing back before he quickly pulled away. "Hey, come on, someone might-"

"Be aware of your surroundings, Jack. Everyone's busy." Gabriel smiled, brushing dried blood off the side of Jack's head. It didn't help much, but it was a relief just to know he was alright. He was alive. "For a second I thought you were... listen, I'd go with you if I could, but with this leg that's not going to happen. I need you to find Abbey. When you do... I need you to give her a message."

He hesitated, but he knew the choice had already been made. It didn't matter where Nathan was, or why he was missing. Gabriel had meant it before. They weren't murderers. That was never what the Court had been. They acted for the greater good.

Now this was the greater good.

"Tell her she's right, and tell her to do it. She'll know what I mean," Gabriel said, hating himself for hesitating now. He should have let her do it before the crisis hit. There were ways, even if they would have been suspicious. He had just been worried about what...

What Jack might think.

"To do what?" Jack asked, brow furrowed. "Gabe, if there's something-"

"Jack, we don't have a lot of time. Just tell her, and be careful. Maggie and Nadia will watch your back until you find her," Gabriel said, squeezing his shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid."

"What, like save your ass when you asked me to leave you behind?" Jack asked, still frowning. "Don't you do anything stupid either. You're hurt. Take care of yourself."

"I will," Gabriel said, squeezing Jack's shoulder one more time. It was stupid, but it felt good to confirm he was still there. "I'll see you at the extraction point."

"Okay," Jack nodded, glancing over his shoulder, but the hallway was busier now, soldiers moving out with their orders. "I will see you soon. Promise."

Gabriel just hoped that he would make good on that.

~~

Jack hadn't felt right since half of the building had fallen on him. Everything was just a bit fuzzy at the edge of his vision. But the medic had said he was fine, and so he had marched on. He might just be angry, he knew. Gabriel had warned _him_ not to be reckless and then just told Jack to leave him at the first possible moment. He had acted like it was nothing, pulling Maggie and Jack from the rubble when Jack had believed they were both dead.

"Hey, so..." Maggie had hesitated while they waited for their orders. "He seemed pretty... intense about that whole thing. You being hurt and all. And you did too, about him. So are you two...?"

"Don't worry about it." Jack tried to smile, but he wasn't sure he could muster it. "It's nothing."

"Sure. Right. Nothing," Maggie said, taking her Helix rifle. "I'm not a fucking idiot, Jack. You saved my life, you know you can count on-"

Then Gabriel had come to give them their orders, and somehow the pit in Jack's stomach had only grown worse. What did the message mean? What was Gabriel telling Abbey to do? Nothing good, or he wouldn't have hesitated like that. So why was Gabriel lying to him?

Either way, being back in the center of everything, panicked people fleeing in all directions, was not inspiring.

The refugees were everywhere, some grabbing at Jack and Maggie. "Please, please tell us where to go! We need to get out of here!"

The three soldiers couldn't do much more than point and direct them to the community center.

"Take everyone you can find. Tell everyone you can find! Don't use any social media, they'll find it!" Jack tried to tell everyone who came close to them, but that only brought more mobs of civilians down on them. "Please, keep moving, everyone!"

"It's no use, there are too many people," Nadia said, waving them ahead. "I'll direct civilians. Get to camp four!"

And so they had left her, and gone further towards the camp four and the hot zone. The closer they got, the more it reminded Jack of Santa Fe. There wasn't any rubble except for the destruction the flood had caused, but the sound of gunfire and bombs was getting closer.  The jets roared overhead, doing perhaps their third pass - but Jack was beginning to lose track.

"Jesus, this is a nightmare." Maggie mumbled quietly as they moved from one alley to another, avoiding the main streets so they could reach their destination. "How the hell are we supposed to do _anything_ in this? There aren't enough of us."

"More ground troops will be at the evacuation site. We just have to get everyone we can there- hang on." Jack held up his hand, checking around the alley corner to the street. No civilians, which sent shivers down his spine. Had they moved already? They had to be getting close to the camp by now. "Maggie, what were camp four's coordinates?"

"Uh, they should be..." Maggie pulled up their map, frowning. "They should be right up ahead. Could we have missed them?"

"They would have radioed us if they'd changed positions, wouldn't they?" Jack asked, raising his rifle and moving towards the next street, keeping close to the store walls. "Try hailing them."

"Camp four, this is Zhang. We're approaching your position. Please respond, over," Maggie said, following after him, raising her own weapon.

There was radio silence.

"There haven't been any explosions this close," Jack said, raising his own radio. "Camp four, this is Morrison, we're approaching your position, _please_ respond, over!" No answer. He changed frequencies. "Camp four, do you copy? Camp four, please respond! Goldman- Abbey are you _there_?"

Nothing.

"It could be... their radio could have broken," Maggie said, but she was pale, staring up ahead. "There haven't been any bombings here. It could have been anything. They're probably fine."

Jack nodded, but his gun was ready as they approached the camp, a knot in his gut. "We'll check it out. Then we'll... we'll check it out. Keep left."

The closer they got, the more gunfire Jack could hear in the distance. They watched as one of the jets was hit, going down not far from them, directly into the hot zone in a wave of fire. He didn't see a pilot eject. They kept moving.

The camp had been sequestered in an old warehouse district. Most of the area had sustained heavy water damage, and various cars and trucks were still in the process of being moved or towed away. It had left the streets a mess, but there was no sign of fighting, or signs that anyone had moved. It felt like walking into a ghost town.

"We should go in through the loading docks, not the front entrance," Maggie said, looking over the building. "It doesn't look like it got hit by anything. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this, Maggie." Jack said quietly, making his way with her to the loading dock.

The feeling only intensified when he saw that the back door was open. It blew open and closed in the wind, banging lightly against its frame. The door knob had been broken off.

Jack glanced at it, then glanced back at Maggie. She shook her head, looking horrified, taking a deep breath - before she raised her gun, pointing forward inside the building. Jack nodded back, pulling the door open and looking inside, checking the corners. Empty.

"Clear," he said quietly.

Maggie went past him, rifle raised as she looked down her scope. Jack put his hand on her back, walking with her, rifle aimed over her shoulder as they went into the room. They kept close to the wall, each on guard as they moved into the unloading area where most of the refugees would have been staying.

As soon as Maggie opened the door, the smell hit Jack.

He had smelt the bodies in Santa Fe, rotting in the sun, most of them having been left there for days or weeks. This was fresh. There was blood, none of it yet congealed, spread over the floor. Most of the refugees were at the front of the building, towards the entrance. Some had trampled over each other in an effort to escape, and Jack didn't need to check the front door to know what had happened.

Someone had locked the door, and when whatever had killed them had come inside, their only escape had been cut off. It had been a slaughter.

Worse still, he could see SEP uniforms. Only two, but searching for more would mean going inside the room. Jack felt something then, a cold gnawing that gripped his heart and tore into his stomach. He was shaking and he couldn't stop. "Close the door."

Maggie did, too fast, and it slammed closed, echoing throughout the cargo bay.

The two of them held their breath, neither of them moving as they waited to be attacked. Nothing came.

Jack raised a shaking hand to his comm, managing to clear his throat. "Command, this is... this is Morrison. Camp four is... everyone's dead. The Omnics have moved into the city. I repeat, the Omnics have moved into the city and out of the hot zone. Over."

The radio crackled in silence.

"Our signals must be jammed," Maggie said quietly, taking a long breath. "We have to warn them. We have to go... we have to... Jesus, they're all dead in there. All those people are... we have to go."

Jack nodded, breathing through his mouth as he tried to forget the smell on the other side of the door. "Yeah. We just have to get out of range of whatever's been-"

He had a split second to prepare before something hit him. He threw himself backwards, swinging around with his Helix rifle and firing when the metal figure struck him, knocking him against the concrete floor. The Omnic was perhaps seven feet tall, it's limbs thick steel, and it bore its weight down against him, attempting to crush him into the floor. Jack fired twice into the thing's stomach, and he saw Maggie press hers to the thing's head, firing straight into it.

The twisted metal collapsed onto him, and Jack shoved against it, feeling battered and bruised - but it hadn't broken skin.

Catching his breath, Jack struggled to his feet, immediately firing a rocket over Maggie's shoulder as another of the Omnics leapt at him from on top of a crate. The metal form was blown back, pieces of it scattering around the room. It made far too much noise.

"Time to go!" Jack cried, running to the exit with Maggie hot on his heels. He made as far as opening the door before he turned around and grabbed her, hauling her to the ground with him as bullets flew over his head. Two bastions were outside waiting for them. "Stay down!"

Maggie rolled out of the way, grabbing his shoulder and dragging him after her back into the building. "We need a new exit!"

Jack looked around wildly, but the windows were too high, and the garage exits all faced the Omnics. "We... maybe there's another way out through the..." He looked back at the door to the room where the refugees had been slaughtered. Would that only trap them?

Maggie shivered, ducking down when bullets sprayed overhead from the bastions outside. "I'm not going back in there to die like that."

Jack nodded mutely, glad that she felt the same way he did. He didn't think he'd be able to bear going in there. "Okay then... only choice is going through that door." He ducked down again when another hail of bullets went through the wall above their heads. "Load your Helix rockets... I'm going to try and get close and aim low. See if I can hit between them. Then you follow up." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "If we don't... if we don't get out... it's been an honor serving with you, Maggie."

"...you're a sappy asshole, Morrison," Maggie said quietly, looking at him sadly. "I'll miss you."

The two of them began to rise slowly from the ground, when suddenly an explosion knocked them both back to the floor, the wall shaking and more dust falling down around them. For a second Jack thought the wall would collapse again and trap them, but it only shifted, bricks falling and some of the windows shattering.

Maggie coughed, covering her head and looking up. "What the hell...?"

"Hey kids." Jack looked up and felt relief flood his body as soon as he saw a tall Amazonian woman walk inside, carrying one of the bastion's heads in one hand, and a shotgun in the other. "Anyone else feel like doing their jobs today?"

"Abbey?" Jack could have kissed her, he thought, getting shakily to his feet. "Christ, we thought... I thought you were in that..." He looked back at the door, not even wanting to talk about what he'd seen in there.

"No, I was looking for someone." Abbey looked over her shoulder. "Nathan, you piece of shit, I said we're _clear_."

Nathan didn't look half as good as Abbey did right then, shoulders slumped and face sporting a nasty black eye that was starting to swell shut. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming already. Where the hell is everyone?"

"Dead," Maggie said quietly, knuckles white around her rifle. "By the time we got here... the Omnics must have snuck in while they were getting ready to leave. It looked like... it looked like they blocked the front exit and then came in from back here... it's... everyone's dead."

"Everyone's...?" Abbey paused, glancing towards the door. If it bothered her, she brushed off the emotion quickly. "Nadia with you somewhere? I thought Gabe said she was coming."

"She was," Jack said, finding his voice. "She got caught up trying to help civilians. It was a mob getting here. When we didn't hear anything on the comms I just assumed they hadn't started moving yet, but I think everything is being blocked." He looked back at the door, terror creeping back in like ice on his insides. "They probably couldn't even call for help."

"Which means neither can we. Explains why no one answered when I was trying to say I'd found Erikson," Abbey snorted, going back to the door. "You three, fall in with me. Eyes sharp. We keep to the alleyways, and we only hail once every three blocks in case they're listening. This place is being overrun, and at this rate we're not making it to the extraction point. I'm betting for this little shit they'll send a private helicopter, though," she said, tossing the bastion's head at Nathan, nearly knocking him off his feet as he tried to catch it. "So you move your asses, and stay tight with me. Questions? Comments? Concerns?"

Maggie and Jack glanced at each other, then shook their heads. "No ma'am."

"Great, then stay lively, shit-sticks - you're on Gold Team now."

~~

Goldman kept a pace that reminded Jack of basic training, keeping them constantly moving and nearly silent with tactical efficiency. Doubtlessly she wished she had Gabriel there instead of the two rookies and Nathan, but she didn't make any mention of it.

They only spotted two omnics as they moved into the city, in an alley across from them, moving in the shadows just like they were. Abbey had kept the small group quiet rather than engaging. "They can call for help a lot faster than we can."

Nathan was bitterly quiet, and it wasn't until Abbey attempted to hail for help the first time that Jack found out why. "Command, this is Goldman. I've recovered Nathan Erikson and am bringing him in for court martial. I found him looting. The refugees and other SEP soldiers from camp four are dead. I have Morrison and Zhang with me. Does anyone read me? Over."

"Looting? Are you fucking _kidding_?" Maggie hissed, glaring at Erikson.

"Those people died _waiting for you_." Jack glared from beside her, trying not to think of the pile of bodies and all the blood in that room. Nathan hadn't even seen it. They should have just left him there.

"I didn't know what was going to fucking happen, now did I? What am I, a fucking psychic? And I wasn't looting. I was walking." Nathan growled back.

At least now Jack could guess where the black eye had come from. Abbey probably hadn't appreciated her wild goose chase. Jack hoped that Nathan would be seeing stars for weeks, if any of them survived. The longer their escape took, the more hope he lost that they would.

It wasn't until the fourth hail that they finally got a response.

" _We read you, Specialist_." It was Gabriel, sending a small thrill down Jack's spine. He was alive. Command was still in place. " _I'm sending a chopper for you. Evacuation is still ongoing, but fighting the Omnics is-_ " He broke off for a second, the radio signal giving in and out. " _I'll send you the coordinates for your escape. Bombers are inbound. You have-_ " It got choppy again, then straightened out. " _-I repeat, fifteen minutes. If you find any civilians, take them while you can. This is their last chance, then we're out. Over_."

"Understood, Captain. What are the coordinates?" Abbey said, taking them down.

While she did, Jack realized that he hadn't given her Gabriel's message - though Gabriel didn't ask about it over the radio.

"Okay, we have our orders. Though frankly, I'm not having anyone," Abbey looked very specifically at Jack, "go out of their way. We hear a civilian crying? Tough shit. We only have fifteen minutes and they aren't sticking around for us. You guys want to run off, that's on you. We clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," the three of them replied, no one ready to question her.

"Good, because we're going there." Abbey pointed at one of the taller buildings, standing just east of them, marked with a logo in the shape of a blue V. "We're being extracted from the roof - so let's hope that the elevator is working, because we don't have a hell of a lot of time."

"Let's get moving then." Jack nodded, mouth feeling dry as they kept up their unrelenting pace.

They didn't have any problems getting there, but when they arrived at the base of the building they almost instantly came across one. Stationed at the base of the tower were three bastions and a group of the humanoid omnics, all of whom seemed to be unloading computers and paperwork from inside.

"Well, that's not good," Maggie whispered, glancing at them from around the corner before she looked back at the group. "That's a lot, and there are probably more inside."

Abbey nodded, going back to her comm. "Command, this is Specialist Goldman. Do you read me? Over."

No response.

"Well, that's not good," Abbey hissed, leaning around the corner and getting a better look at the building. "Okay. Good news. Power is still on, looks like. We just have to get to the elevator."

"Bad news is our helicopter is landing right on top of an Omnic hot-zone and we have to get past them to reach it," Nathan growled. "Any brilliant ideas, _Specialist_?"

"Get to the elevator and try not to die was my big glowing one." Abbey glared back at him.

"We have to take out the bastions." Jack said quietly, trying to keep his voice down. "They'll shoot down the helicopter long before it can get to us. Maggie, we can do what we planned before, this time we'll just have more room to do it. We have the Helix rifles, they don't." He glanced at Abbey and Nathan. "Can you two distract them?"

Abbey smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Nathan can be very distracting. Is your aim good enough to take out three of them?"

"If Maggie and I aim between both of them, we can damage them enough to cause problems at least. Then someone just has to get close enough to take them out," Jack said, nodding slowly. "Then it's just the regular omnics. They're fast, but not nearly as tough."

"I'm not being the fucking _bait_ ," Nathan snapped, looking furious.

"Well, with your eye swollen shut you're not being anything else,” Abbey said, pointing her shotgun at him. "So you do it, or you die here, and _that_ will be their distraction."

For a second, just a second, Jack thought she might have been joking, until he saw her eyes. Dead serious. That was something Nathan obviously picked up on as well.

"Don't you fucking dare, Goldman, I-"

"You think these two are going to save you?" Abbey asked, tilting her head. "How many popularity contests have you won, lately? How many people owe you favors? Anyone?" She looked at Jack and Maggie, shrugging. "Comments from the peanut gallery on me blowing Nathan here's brains out?"

Maggie looked at Abbey, then looked Nathan straight in the eye. "Those people died because of you. I'm not going to be another one of your bodies."

Jack snapped forward, grabbing Abbey's arm and pointing the gun down, glaring at Nathan. "This isn't helping us and we _do not have time_. Nathan, you have to do this or we're all going to die. I want to live, don't you?"

Nathan glared from Jack, to Maggie, and then at Abbey. "Fine. _Fine_. I'll go. Just fucking... be ready to cover me."

Abbey nodded, crouching low and backing away. "Count to sixty and then run. See you when I see you." Then she vanished into the shadows, almost as though she had never been there.

Jack wondered if being able to turn into Batman at the drop of a hat was a necessary trait in the Court, or if it was something they trained you for after admission.

"Nathan just... stay low and try to get their attention," Jack said quietly, looking the other man in his good eye. "I'll cover you, I promise. Don't die."

"You need to stop being so nice," Maggie muttered, getting her rifle ready and switching to her Helix rockets. "He's not worth it."

"I've seen enough dead people for one day, Maggie," Jack said, switching his over as well. "I'm not going to see any more if I can help it."

"...two... one..." Nathan took a deep breath. "Okay. Just... just fucking cover me." Then he took off, letting out a short yell. "HEY!" He called, waving his arms as he dove towards cover.

The turrets swung around and the Omnics set down the boxes they had been carrying, all of their attention going to Nathan as they began to fire, bullets spraying across the building, shattering windows and knocking bricks from the walls.

Maggie and Jack moved quickly, diving out and firing their rockets. The turrets swerved back around towards them, but almost as soon as the dust cleared Abbey jumped down from the second floor of the cafe beside the building. She landed directly on top of the first bastion and tore off its head as it swerved to face her, then shot the one beside it, blowing it apart with her shotgun. The third went down a second later, three shots from Jack's rifle enough to take it down.

Maggie swung around and took out one of the omnics, Abbey taking out another when she turned, firing a round into one's face when it tried to grab her. Jack bolted across the street after Nathan, taking down two more of the omnics before he looked into the alley.

Nathan lay on the ground, trying to drag himself up, but his leg was mangled and bleeding, worse than Gabriel's had been.

"Fuck, my leg, my fucking _leg_!" Nathan cried when Jack knelt down beside him. "Jesus, Jesus I'm going to die in this fucking city... I'm going to fucking die..."

"No, you aren't," Jack said, grabbing Nathan's hand and putting it over his leg. "Put pressure on it. I'm going to tie it off, don't move."

Nathan nodded, looking pale but doing as he was told. Jack tore the sleeve off his jacket, tying it tightly around Nathan's leg, forming a makeshift tourniquet. His first aid was shaky, and he hoped he remembered enough to make it work as he tore off his other sleeve and bandaged the wound as best he could.

"Jack!" Maggie came around the corner, surveying the scene quickly. "We have to go, now! The helicopter is landing, and we don't have a lot of time!"

"Okay, okay!" Jack said, hoisting Nathan over his shoulder, blood splattering over the front of his jacket. "Let's go!"

They ran from the alley towards the building. Abbey slammed her gun into the glass door instead of opening it, waving them inside as she went into the lobby, checking the corners before she slammed her fist into the elevator's button, nearly denting the wall when she did.

"Woo! Did you fucking see that?" She laughed, bouncing on her toes, gun at the ready as she watched the outside, licking her lips. "Nothing goes down better than these fucking tin cans, I tell you!"

Jack was shaking, adrenaline spiking through him as he shifted Nathan over his shoulder, making the other man moan in pain. "Let's celebrate when we get out of here, okay?"

"Haha, sounds good Golden Boy. Drinks are on me!" The elevator door opened and Abbey looked inside, shotgun ready, but it was clear. "Everybody, going up and getting home, let's do this!"

They piled into the elevator, but even when the doors closed Jack didn't feel safe, his every nerve fired up. _Still have to get to the helicopter. Still have to get to the base. Still have to fight the omnics again_. He could see the bodies piled up, against the wall, against the door. He could imagine their fingernails clawing at the concrete, unable to escape.

 _Dear mom and dad, I don't understand how this keeps getting worse instead of better_.

The elevator lurched when something landed on top of it. Maggie aimed her but upward, but Jack grabbed her hand.

"Don't, the cable might-!"

The omnic came through like a ton of bricks, slamming a foot into Jack's chest and sending him sprawling into the wall. He felt something snap inside his chest, all the air going out of his lungs when he hit the elevator wall so hard that he nearly passed out.

Maggie swung around her rifle but the omnic caught it, head butting her and knocking her to the floor, making her spit blood and crumble to the floor. Abbey made out better, putting it in a choke hold and yanking it backwards, pulling it over her head and slamming it into the floor. The creature swung around, its limbs changing direction as it got on top of her.

"Shit!" Abbey yelped, grabbing the thing’s arms and shoving it away from her, trying to keep it from getting around her neck.

Jack scrambled forward, grabbing his rifle and putting it against the back of the omnic's head. "Let her go or I swear it's over for you!"

The omnic stopped dead, slowly letting go of Abbey go, raising its hands above its head. Jack stared in shock, having genuinely not expecting that to work.

"As you would have it, human," the omnic said, its voice choppy and almost broken-sounding

Jack licked his lips, stepping back as the omnic stood. "Why are you doing this? Why did you kill all these people?" he asked, holding the gun steady on the metal creature as it turned to face him.

"Can you not hear it?" The Omnic asked, its head tilting to the side, almost reminding Jack of a dog when asked an overly complex question.

"Hear what?" Jack asked, staring back into its single red eye.

"The voice of God," the Omnic replied, tilting its head back the other way.

"No," Abbey said, standing up and shoving her shotgun into the omnic's back, firing a single shot and shattering the creature's spine, sending it crumpling to the floor.

Jack sank back against the wall, taking a long breath and sinking to the ground beside Nathan, who was breathing hard and staring at the pieces of their attacker.

"So... I'm not the only one who just heard that, right? That was... that _thing_ just said it heard the voice of God, right?" Nathan asked, glancing between them. "That's... is this what this has been all along? A fucking holy war, and we didn't even know it?"

"Sounds like it," Abbey said, rubbing her hand against her neck. "I didn't even know they'd talk back. Jesus."

"Fuck this," Maggie whispered, trembling against the wall, "Just... what in the fuck are we supposed to do with that? A fucking holy war? On what planet did we sign up for that? How are we supposed to _fight_ that?"

"We'll figure something out," Jack said quietly, offering Maggie his hand.

She took a deep breath and reached out, taking his hand and letting him haul her up. "You never let that optimism die down, do you?"

"I have my moment.," Jack smiled a little, reaching down to pick up Erikson - but he winced, holding his ribs. "Shit."

"I've got him, calm down," Abbey said, lightly pushing Jack aside and picking Nathan up, hoisting him over her shoulder. "Thanks for having my back, Lucky."

The elevator dinged at the top of the building, wind blowing around them as they stepped outside.

"Any time." Jack smiled, holding his ribs and heading towards the exit. All he wanted to do was take a nap now, his whole body aching desperately.

The three of them ran to the helicopter, the wind whipping around them as they stepped into it. The pilot glanced over her shoulder, giving them a thumbs up as they got inside. Abbey lay Nathan down in one of the seats, strapping him in and standing up, sighing and grabbing hold of the side of the copter as they started to take off.

Jack sat near the edge, holding his gun and looking down as they took off, raising from the roof and moving out over the city. He could see smoke in the distance, from where they had been less than an hour ago. He looked up, Abbey standing beside him, holding the side of the copter and looking down.

She shrugged, glancing over the city. "Hey, we've got this!"

Jack nodded back, yelling back at her and hoping she would hear him. "Gabe wanted me to tell you something!"

Abbey leaned down a little, listening to him. "What?" she yelled back at him.

"He said you were right!" Jack called back at her. "He said to do it!"

Abbey rolled her eyes, laughing. "One day he'll learn!" She grinned down at Jack. "I'm always right-"

Jack blinked when blood sprayed his face. Bullets sprayed through Abbey's side, slicing through her and making her crumple towards the ground. Jack lurched forward, grabbing hold of her wrist as she slid out of the helicopter, the impact of the bullets making it veer wildly.

"Abbey!" Jack screamed, desperately reaching for the side of the helicopter, his body jerking as her weight dragged him out with her. He lost his grip almost instantly, the pain intense and the helicopter’s jerky movements rattling his ribs. He only managed to grab onto her wrist, and his fingers were already slipping. "NO!"

He didn't fall much further, someone grabbing hold of his arm, hauling him back up into the helicopter. He looked back and saw Maggie, both her hands on his arm, her feet bracing her against the side of the copter as it tried to right itself.

"I've got you!" she screamed at him, grip tightening on his arm. "Pull her up!"

Jack tried, but when he attempted to lift Abbey with one arm his body screamed in pain and he nearly lost his grip. "Abbey!" he yelled at her, her body dangling perilously in mid-air. "Abbey, wake up! Abbey! I can't lift you! I need you to move!"

"Nathan! Help me, damn it!" Maggie called back, trying to leverage herself so she could haul them both in, but Jack could already feel the sweat from her hands on his bare skin. "I can't lift them both! While-" The helicopter veered again, throwing Jack and Abbey to the side, and for a moment Jack's vision went white from the pain. "JACK STAY WITH ME!"

"Abbey!" Jack tried again, his grip on her wrist slipping. "Please! Come on! Wake up! I need you, _please_!"

Abbey didn't move, swaying back and forth with nothing below them but open air and the distant ground.

"Don't be dead..." Jack whispered, his voice hoarse from screaming. "ABBEY I NEED YOU TO-!"

Something hit him then, going directly through the base of his throat, cutting off his voice when it tore into him. The helicopter jerked again, his body giving out as the pain overtook him, blood pouring from his mouth. He only had one moment, just before he passed out, to realize what he had done.

He'd let go of her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> As always, thanks to my perfect beta Aisu who I could not do this without.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Undying fury at what I have done? Message me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/


	13. Pre-Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter warnings!
> 
> \- Poor grief management  
> \- Depressing backstory  
> \- PTSD  
> \- Dubious consent
> 
> As always, you can find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/ with your questions, comments, or desires to punch me.
> 
> Special thanks to Aisu having to deal with me being an absolute mess during the tenses for this chapter. I CAN WRITE GOOD AND MEET MAH SELF-IMPOSED DEADLINES.

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Do you know what Nemesis means?"

"Yeah, I've seen _Snatch,_ Abbey."

Abbey continued as though he hadn't spoken. "A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent." She looked over her shoulder at him, smirking. "People always jump to the other definition. An adversary. But that's not as fun for me. The idea of something you can't escape - now there's real terror."

"You're thinking of the Furies," Gabriel said, brushing back her hair. There wasn't much of it, like when they'd first started Basic and shaved their heads.

"Well, I guess. Sort of. But Nemesis I like because it's just people who deserve it. I used to think that was us. The court. We were that wrath personified. But then, after a while, I started thinking to myself... what happens when everything we've done comes back to bite us?" Abbey asked, looking him in the eye. "What happens when we get ours, for all the shit we've done?"

"Now you're thinking of karma," Gabriel said, looking away from her.

"If I'm thinking about the Furies and karma, then why are _you_ thinking about Nemesis?"

"You're the one who brought it up, not me."

"Gabriel," Abbey said, reaching up and touching his cheek. She had blood all over her hands. "I'm dead. No one's thinking about this except for you."

Gabriel sat bolt upright, gasping for breath. He wasn't in his room at the base, but the hospital ward, his wrist handcuffed to the bed. It took him a moment to remember why, but it came into sharp clarity very quickly.

The helicopter had landed, smoking ,with obvious bullet holes from the bastion's attack. Even on his bad leg he had tried to run to it, medics already swarming it to move Jack off.

Maggie was kneeling over him, her hands on his neck, screaming over the whirling helicopter blades. "HURRY! HURRY, HE'S STILL BREATHING!"

Gabriel had watched, helpless, as they shoved tubes down his throat, moving him onto a stretcher and taking Jack away to where he couldn't follow.

"He's still breathing... he's still breathing..." Maggie had stood beside him, staring straight ahead as a medic wrapped a blanket around her shoulders before forcing her to sit down.

"Maggie," Gabriel said, getting in front of her and taking her shoulders, much to the medic's distress.

"Sir, she's in shock, we don't-"

"Shut up. Maggie, what happened?" She'd stared at him blankly until Gabriel shook her shoulders. "Soldier! What _happened_?"

Maggie blinked, seeming to look straight through him. "We were... on the helicopter. I thought we were safe. I thought we were safe. But a bastion... I think... it must have been one, the shots came in so fast... It just... it just sliced through her and she fell, and Jack caught her and I caught him but then... then it hit Jack and he... it went right through his _throat_ and he..." Her head fell into her hands and she grabbed her hair. "I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do _anything_."

Gabriel let her go, stepping back. Everything felt far away, draining away from him as the bottom dropped out of his stomach.

 _Your are Gabriel Reyes._ He tried to center himself, to keep himself in the there and the now. _You are alive. Jack Morrison is still alive. He's still alive. Abbey Goldman is... Abbey Goldman is..._

Then he'd seen the medics taking Nathan Erikson off of the helicopter.

Then everything had gone red.

"Shit," he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose with his unchained hand. He couldn't remember what he had done. " _Shit_."

"Oh, shit indeed, Reyes." It wasn't often that someone could sneak up on him, but General Kaplan seemed to have been sitting right next to him, and the shock nearly made Gabriel jump out of bed. His leg was in bad enough shape that he wasn't sure he could have managed. "Don't get up on my account, Captain. Don't want your leg falling off."

"General, I didn't..." Gabriel hissed, running his hand down his leg, feeling the bandages there. "Sorry, sir."

"We've known each other a long time, Reyes, I'm not standing on ceremony for this one. You're not standing at all," Kaplan said, leaning back in the chair. "You look ridiculous with handcuffs on. Aren't you SEP boys supposed to be able to rip metal in half?"

"That's the going theory, sir," Gabriel said, tugging at the bonds.

"Ever been in handcuffs before?" Kaplan asked, fingers tapping along his arm rests.

"Only in a fun way," Gabriel said, looking back at the General. "Boss, why are you here?"

"Well, Nathan Erikson is the son of an Admiral who does, at the moment, outrank me. He's the nephew of the Colonel in charge of your program, which _I_ recommended you for. That _I_ made you acting Captain of. So when you beat the shit out of the little bastard, yeah, I'm probably going to show up," Kaplan said, standing and pacing back and forth across the room. "Christ, Reyes, what were you thinking?"

Gabriel glared at his sheets, biting the inside of his lip until he tasted blood. "Goldman is dead."

"Goldman is dead. Along with ten other members of SEP when you total them up. However, due in part to us knowing in advance that the Omnics would be attacking Tucson, fast thinking with the air strike, and what's being chalked up to your leadership, we only lost ten thousand refugees. Body count for Tucson itself is ongoing, but you did well, Reyes. Up. Until. Erikson." Kaplan punctuated each word, moving to the end of the bed and resting his hands there.

"If the Colonel hadn't ordered Goldman and her team to stay put and look for that worthless shit," Gabriel snapped, sitting up in his bed, not caring how much it hurt to move, "we might have been able to save the civilians in camp four. We might not have lost _everyone_ we had stationed there. But we did, because he wanted to go and loot. Getting his ass kicked by me was the _least_ of what he deserved!"

"Tch, don't throw around words like _deserved_ , you know better," Kaplan said. "This isn't the Court.  You're not in charge here. _I'm_ not in charge here. The politics are-"

" _Politics_? General, people are dying out there!" Gabriel said, his head reeling. "You've never played politics, now isn't the time to start-!"

"I've _learned_ how to play politics, Gabriel!" the General spat, slamming his hand into the end of the bed. "Politics are the reason you're in a hospital bed and not in a cell! They're the reason you're going to shut up, and not demand a court martial for Nathan Erikson, and his fucking mother won't demand one for you!"

"For _me_?" Gabriel stared, appalled. "That little shit stain as good as shot Abbey! She's dead because of him, and you want me to _shut up_?"

" _I_ made excuses for you, Gabriel," Kaplan said, looking ready to rip the headboard off the bed. "Blood loss, trauma, whatever the fuck _I_ could think of because there are people who would have had your head for this!" He took a deep breath, tugging at his beard. "You've generated a lot of good publicity for yourself. If you'd just kept your shit together you'd already have a medal by now."

"I'd rather have Nathan Erikson dead," Gabriel said, finally letting himself sit back. Then he remembered. He could see Jack, covered in blood and surrounded by medics."Jack... Morrison. Did he make it?"

 _Jack caught her..._ Stupid hero bullshit. Jack and his stupid hero bullshit had tried to save her, and he'd failed. Now Jack was probably dead. _I'm going to lose them both_.

"Still in surgery when last I heard. They're still fifty-fifty on whether or not he'll make it," Kaplan paused, raising an eyebrow. "You like this kid?"

"He's my partner. I already lost one of those today, I don't think I could... I don't want to lose another one," Gabriel said, pushing what the General had said to the back of his mind. He couldn't think about Jack being gone too, not now. "Fine. I'll keep my head down. I'll shut up. Does that mean I can take these things off?" He tugged at the chain again.

 _I have to see him_.

"I want your word, Reyes. You'll behave yourself around Erikson? _Both_ Eriksons?" Kaplan asked, holding up a key to indicate just how serious he was.

"Yeah, fine, whatever," Gabriel said, hating the words. _I need to see him_. "If those people dying, if _Goldman_ dying is something you can live with, then sure. So can I."

What was the last thing he had said to her? He couldn't even remember.

Kaplan grabbed Gabriel's wrist, squeezing it. "I'm not happy about it either, Gabriel, don't confuse things. Compromises have to be made in some places, and this is one of them." He frowned, standing over him. "SEP is shutting down."

Gabriel stared. He'd known, logically, with no new recruits coming, that SEP was not going to have a long lifespan. He just wasn't expecting their shelf life to be _that_ short. "What, that's it? We have a sweeping success and now we're just folding?"

"The Colonel will be stepping down from his position. Camp four is inexcusable, someone's got to pay for it, and his neck is the one that wound up on the chopping block," Kaplan said. "No blowback on you. I'm not having this interfere with your promotion."

Gabriel shook his head and rubbed his beard. Someone had cleaned him up - he couldn't feel any dust. "Promotion...? General, did I get a concussion? What are we talking about right now?"

"The soldiers, everyone who's still alive anyway, are going to be cannibalised as soon as all the injections are done. Everyone's going to a different department, and they're already fighting tooth and nail for you lot. Part of that's your fault. Tucson showed what you lot can do," Kaplan sighed, putting the key in the lock for Gabriel's handcuffs. "You and Morrison are getting the most interest so far. If he does survive, anyway."

Gabriel massaged his wrist, watching the General carefully. "Why Morrison?"

"Because his face is plastered all over half the news stations in America? Or because the press heard 'young soldier shot during the heroic rescue' and people get excited? Take your pick, Reyes," Kaplan said, shrugging. "He survives, I've already found an assignment for the two of you. I would have sent you and Goldman, but..."

"But she didn't survive. You can say it, I'm not going to tear your head off," Gabriel said quietly. Before the General could answer that he followed up with, "What's the assignment, sir? Not the Court. We're too far into the public eye now."

Kaplan shook his head. "No, not the Court. The UN is putting something together. Russia was hit, just like you predicted they would be. Same time too. This isn't a 'one country' problem, this is everyone's problem. Details are still sketchy, but we want the best we've got. That's you."

"You're tapping me in for a global effort against the Omnics?" Gabriel rubbed his face, shaking his head. "Sir, this is... it's a lot to take in."

"You've been through a lot, Reyes. It's not going to happen overnight, but the process is starting," Kaplan said. "Once we have everything formalized, know that I'll look after your best interests. So keep your head down and stay out of trouble. Don't jeopardize this again, understand?" He sighed, patting Gabriel's shoulder. "She's gone. Nothing you do to Erikson will change that. She won't come back, you'll feel better for a few days, and then she'll still be dead, and you'll have no career on top of that. She wouldn't-"

"Don't say she wouldn't want that. She'd want me to tear off his balls and feed them to him," Gabriel said, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He could keep it together, at least until the General left. He just had to breathe. "She wouldn't give a shit if her career fell apart. She'd just do it."

"Which is why you're a Captain, and she isn't," the General said, letting Gabriel go and going to the door. "Get some rest."

As the door clicked closed, Gabriel could still hear Abbey, whispering in his ear. "A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. That's what you think this is, isn't it? That you're getting what you deserve? Bad news, Gabi." He could even feel her lips on his cheek. "No one ever gets what they deserve."

~~

Jack woke slowly, everything coming into blurry focus. He could hear steady beeping, but it took him a moment to register where he was and why. He remembered the pain, remembered hanging out of the helicopter... remembered letting go.

"No," he said, or tried to say, because all that came out of his mouth was a horrible croaking sound.

Trembling, he reached up and felt his neck, which was covered in bandages and pads. His arms were covered in tubes and wires, and he could feel something else attached to his chest. A heart monitor, if he had to guess, but even looking at it made him feel sick.

Desperately he tried to sit up, dragging himself from the bed and trying to call out, feeling the needles in his arms pulling out of his skin. His chest burned with the effort, ribs screaming in pain every time he moved. "H-h-elp-!" he tried to call, his voice almost unrecognizable. "Abbey... I... h-have to..."

Something was beeping when his feet hit the floor, and blood ran down his arms as he tried to walk, and he felt unsteady, wrong. His head reeled, and he fell to his knees, the room spinning around him. The room full of bodies flashed past his eyes, and he could feel Abbey's fingers slipping out of his hand. Jack tried to breathe, but everything felt harder, and his choked sobs seemed to echo through the room.

"G-Gabe..." Jack grabbed the edge of the bed, but slid down with the blanket, falling forward onto the floor. He heard the door slam open, someone - many someones?- grabbing him and getting him back into the bed.

"We need a sedative here!"

"Double the dose, we didn't measure it correctly-"

"Call Dr. Okoye down here stat!"

Jack tried to fight them, pushing back against the hands on him. "N-no-! G-Gabe, I ha-have to... please-"

Then everything went black with the hiss of a needle.

In his dreams he waded through the flooded city of Tucson, trying to get back to the motel. He had to send Gabriel a message, but he couldn't remember the details. Something Abbey had told him - he couldn't forget it. He just had to find Gabriel. He'd remember when he found him.

"Jack, I'm sorry." He could hear Maggie's voice from somewhere, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from. "I wasn't strong enough. I should have been better, and then maybe..." She faded away too, and Jack was lost in darkness.

" _Lo siento, mi amor._ " Gabriel's voice, but Jack couldn't understand him.

"What's that mean?" Jack mumbled, his lips dry and throat sore.

There was a long stretch of silence, leaving Jack alone in the darkness. He suddenly felt awake, and he tried to open his eyes. When he did, everything was blurry. He caught feint movement out of the corner of his eye, and heard Gabriel's voice again, though it still seemed distant. "You're not supposed to be talking right now, Jackie."

"What's it mean?" Jack asked again, looking into the dimly lit room. Even the slightest movement from his neck hurt, but he couldn't bear to sit still now.

Gabriel didn't say anything for so long that for a moment, Jack thought that he had dreamt that he was there. When he did speak, he seemed closer.

"I give you a hard time about it, but you know something stupid? I didn't even know Spanish until I met Juan," Gabriel said, chuckling. "My parents didn't teach me. I mean, Hell, they could both speak it. My dad came straight from Mexico, and his English was crap. My mom was the one who drew the hard line. She was a doctor. Never wanted to be associated with anyone from my grandparents' part of the world. I bet she'd have shit a brick if she found out I wound up with my grandparents. I'd never even met them until the funeral."

His weight shifted, and Jack could make out Gabriel's dim image moving across the room towards the window.

"When I met my _abulieta_ , grandma, I thought that was her fucking name. And she was a 'straight into the deep end' kind of lady. Wasn't interested in teaching me the basics, she either expected me to pick it up, or not know what the fuck she was talking about. It was probably... Jesus, probably not until after the old man died that she'd even speak to me in English, except at my parent's funeral." Jack could feel Gabriel's weight on the bed when he sat down beside him. "Know what she said to me? This would have been at the old man's funeral, not my parent's."

"What?" Jack croaked, his heart aching for Gabriel. He tried to reach out for his hand, but he couldn't make himself move.

"She said she used to think she was cursed. She had three sons, who all died, and my mom, who ran away from her, and then died. And she had this story about a barn owl she used to tell, about how she whistled back at one or something, back in Mexico. I never really got it, but long story short, she believed that everyone she loved was going to die before her. It was fucked up." Gabriel looked over his shoulder at Jack, slowly coming into focus. "When she died, lung cancer, classic, but when she died she laughed at me. Said the curse must be mine now. That I was the last one left."

Jack's fingers finally found Gabriel's hand, and he held on as tightly as he could manage. He felt Gabriel return the squeeze. "That _is_ fucked up."

"You're telling me. I lived it," Gabriel said, looking away. "There was nothing for me in LA when she died. Lost track of all my friends from school when my parents were alive, didn't make any at the schools ­ _ab_ \- grandma tossed me into. Some 'rich kid' who came from a private school, right color, wrong language? I didn't fit in anywhere. So I bailed, joined the military two days before she died on me. Didn't go to her funeral. God, I hated that woman so much, but..."

"But?" Jack asked, his voice cracking on the word.

"She was the only one who was straight with me. When my parents died, everyone else gave the whole 'they're in a better place now' bullshit line, which... I was a dumb kid. All I could think was that a better place was somewhere without me. She's the only person who told me that they weren't somewhere 'better'. That they were just gone," Gabriel's shoulders hunched. "Don't even know why I'm talking about her."

"Don't mind," Jack said, rasping as best he could. "I sound like shit."

"You do," Gabriel agreed, kicking up his feet and laying down on the bed beside him. "When I joined Abbey in basic, there wasn't a single bastard on the team who could speak a word of Spanish, or so I thought. I'd mostly just swear and toss around shit I hardly understood to make myself look like some kind of badass... she saw right through me. She spoke four languages, you know that? Fucking four. English, Spanish, Hebrew and Arabic. Juan was her Spanish tutor, smooth bastard." Jack could feel Gabriel shaking beside him, his breathing coming harder. "How can someone that smart be so fucking unhinged?"

Jack couldn't think of what to say to that. What was there that he could? "I'm sorry, Gabe, it's all my-"

"Don't," Gabriel said bluntly, wrapping an arm around Jack's shoulders and drawing him in closer. "That's not true. I know who's fucking fault it is. I know who killed her and it wasn't you."

Jack nodded, or tried to anyway, but any movement made him feel like he might pass out from pain. "Are you... going to her funeral?"

Gabriel looked away, his grip tightening on Jack a little. "No. I'm not going to listen to her parents say that they were proud of her, just so they can turn around two seconds later and talk about her being a disappointment. Or listen to people tell Juan how fucking _sorry_ they are, when he and I will both know they've been hoping for a divorce for years. The people who'll go there don't-" Jack heard Gabriel's voice crack. "They didn't know her and they didn't love her. Not like we did."

"Not even... to see Juan?" Jack asked, not wanting to press, but the idea of Gabriel not going was baffling to him.

" _No_ ," Gabriel snapped, letting Jack go abruptly. "I'm not- I _can't_... I can't be the one who tells him that she's not... No." He started to pull away, but Jack held on as tightly as he could to keep him there. Gabriel still wouldn't look at him though.

"Gabe, he'll want to see you-"

"I said _no_!" Gabriel pulled away, shoving Jack away from him against the bed, which made Jack's vision go white for a moment. When it cleared, Jack could see Gabriel's face, the tears running down his cheeks and the twisted rage that Jack had never seen before. "I'm not telling him that she's gone! I'm not telling him she's not getting any justice! That after everything we've been through I couldn't protect her!"

Jack winced at Gabriel kept him pinned to the bed, his breathing coming more laboriously as he tried to stay focused. "Gabe, I didn't-"

"Didn't _what_?" Gabriel growled, grip twisting on Jack's hospital gown, his whole body shaking. Then he seemed to realize what he was doing and he let Jack go, stumbling back and turning away again, wiping his face on his sleeve. "Queens... Queens aren't supposed to die like that."

Jack looked down at his lap, wishing he could find the right words, or any words, anything that might help. That might change something. That might make him feel like someone wasn't twisting his heart in half. "I didn't mean to push. That's all."

Gabriel took a long breath and looked up at the ceiling, arms crossing over his chest. "Yeah... yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... you want to fuck?"

Jack blinked. "Do I want to-?"

Gabriel reached up, pulling down Jack's blanket, leaving him feeling cold. He ran his hands up Jack's thighs and under his hospital gown, cupping his balls. Jack gasped, choking as Gabriel began to massage him, fingers moving through his pubic hair to stroke his cock, which had already started to take an interest.

"G-Gabe- I'm not-" Jack gasped, but he could barely lift himself up, let alone fight Gabriel off. "I-I don't think I can-"

Gabriel paused, fingers still on Jack, but he wouldn't look up. This close, with skin touching skin, Jack could tell he was still trembling. "Tell me to stop."

It was difficult to weigh options with Gabriel's hand on his already thickening erection, and the buzz of whatever drugs they'd given him for the pain still buzzing in his system. His ribs still hurt, he'd just about died from a gunshot wound to the neck, and Gabriel was... Gabriel wasn't himself. _He lost his best friend_.

And what had Jack lost, really?

He could still picture her, hanging from the helicopter, dangling so precariously over the city. An instant that he wasn't sure he'd ever forget. It was like running out in front of the bastions, the first time he'd been shot - which felt like years ago, instead of only a few weeks. He'd only known Abbey a few months.

 _I let go of her hand_. She'd never let him down, and she wasn't there to watch Gabriel's back anymore. _It won't happen again._

Reaching out as best he could, Jack touched Gabriel's arm, making the other man look at him. Jack knew if he said the safe word, that would be enough. _Basta_ , and Gabriel would stop. Instead he said, with as much force as he could muster, " _Stop_."

For a moment, whether Gabriel got the message or not, Jack didn't care. Gabriel's thumb rubbed against the crown of his cock. He could feel Gabriel against his slit, urging out precum, and there was a rough edge to it that sent every single one of Jack's cylinders firing. Pain slammed through him when he gasped for breath, his ribs protesting fiercely at the sudden movement, which Jack thought for a moment might be enough to kill the mood - except it wasn't. Somehow knowing if Gabriel really didn't want to stop, if Gabriel ignored the safe word, even if Jack wanted to get away, he _couldn't_ , started to make him sweat and buck his hips a little into Gabriel's hand.

"St-st- Gabe it _hurts_..." Jack caught himself saying, feebly trying to push Gabriel away. _Don't stop_.

And God, Jack didn't want to know how many wires in his brain had to be crossed the wrong way to be getting off on this. He was trapped, and it fucking _hurt_ , but he just wanted Gabriel to take him. To wring him out. _To punish me_.

"I'm not going to break you, Jack," Gabriel said, and strangely enough his voice is more even now. More focused.  He pushed Jack's rigid cock against his stomach, holding him still. "Don't move and you might even like it."

Then Gabriel moved, slowly and surely, lowering himself between Jack's legs, and before Jack can think to ask when he's doing, he can feel Gabriel's lips around the head of his erection.

Jack gasped and fell back, hands instinctively trying to raised to take Gabriel's hair, but he couldn't really move one hand, and Gabriel grabbed the other one and shoved it away. It was a wholly different feeling than what he'd been getting used to, and while he was still utterly at Gabriel's mercy, the silky feeling of his tongue and the warmth of his mouth threatened to bring Jack over the edge right then and there.

"J-Jesus - Gabe you don't- Oh God, that- _please_ -" Jack wasn't even sure what he was asking for, and his own performance at oral sex suddenly felt _woefully_ sub-par.

As with everything else, Gabriel moved with deliberate confidence, tracing his tongue along the vein of Jack's shaft, head dipping down as he took Jack's sack in his mouth. He sucked at the loose skin, making Jack whimper again, a hint of teeth just enough to keep him on edge without making it unpleasant. It felt like he spent an age worshiping Jack with his tongue before Gabriel changed tracks, moving lower and leaving a long trail of saliva along the sensitive patch of skin between Jack's balls and his anus.

It was only the fact that Jack _couldn't_ scream that keeps him from doing it when Gabriel presses inside him. He could feel Gabriel's tongue - _God, like fucking_ silk - against his tight ring of muscles, and one of Gabriel's fingers against his rim, stretching him open. Jack's whole body was primed, then, his muscles straining as he tried to move his hips against Gabriel while the other man ate him out. His arching spine and the rocking of his hips wasn't helping his aching chest, though, and as much as he desperately wanted Gabriel to keep doing what he's doing, the pain was starting to take the edge off of his twitching, lonely, erection.

Jack tried to dig two of his fingers into Gabriel's wrist, hoping that it would get his attention. "G-Gabe, pl-please, it hurts... my ribs, I c-can't..."

Gabriel pulled his face away, leaving a small trail of spit as he did. He didn't give any sign of having understood what Jack was saying, except for the fact that he pressed Jack's hips back down against the bed so that the position was slightly more comfortable. Wordlessly, Gabriel refocused his attention on Jack's cock, not missing a beat when he swallowed Jack to the hilt. Gabriel's mouth was so slick around Jack, and he took him into his throat so effortlessly that Jack could feel the wetness of his muscles around him. The slow contractions as Gabriel sucked him were pure bliss, and he could feel pressure building back up as he ached for release.

"G-Gabe, I'm going to c-" Jack felt his eyes rolling back in his head as Gabriel gave another hard suck, his nose touching Jack's stomach when he took all of Jack's length. He cock throbbed inside Gabriel's mouth, fingers twisting as the other man held him down, keeping him from squirming too much. He couldn't stop his hips from spasming against Gabriel, though if the other man minded he gave no indication of it as he let Jack finish in his mouth.

Jack let his hips rock, trying to catch his breath while Gabriel kept milking him. His vision cleared and he felt more relaxed then. Everything was still awful, but at least he had Gabriel. Though how Gabriel blowing _him_ was supposed to help he had no idea.

Except then, as his vision cleared, he noticed something. He gasped hard, fighting Gabriel as genuinely as he could as he struggled to sit up. The door was open. "Gabe- Gabe, _stop_! _Basta_! Gabe, someone's watching-!"

The door clicked shut, but Gabriel was already moving, grabbing the door and limping out. Jack covered himself, breathing hard as his adrenaline spiked. Whoever had been there was already closing the door when Jack had spotted them. How long had they been watching? How had he not noticed?

" _Shit_ ," he whispered, pressing his hand to his face. " _Shit_."

Jack tried to stand up, tried to move, but he had only managed to get all the way upright before his attempt to swing off the bed was taken out of his hands. His ribs felt like they were scraping across his skin, so he fell back onto the bed, clutching his chest. "No... no, no, _no_."

At best, it was fraternization. At worst, if someone saw it and didn't understand what they were seeing, it could be taken as...

Gabriel came back through the door, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "Gone. I didn't see anyone. Jack, are you sure-?"

"I'm sure," Jack said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Christ, I'm sure. Someone saw us."

Gabriel sat back on the bed, head in his hands for a moment before he rubbed at his beard. "You know, I'd really appreciate it if this week could stop getting worse."


	14. Month Four

In the darkened city of Phoenix, Hactcin was waiting. His failure had not gone unnoticed, nor had Perun's. Anubis had called the council meeting, all the Gods coming to sit and review their plans. Thus far their victories outweighed their failures, but the humans were not meant to have had a _single_ success, let alone numerous victories.

 _Let them win battles - they will not win the war_. A good general sentiment, but one not shared by Anubis or many of the others.

"There is talk of the humans joining forces, refusing to remain divided. This cannot be allowed to happen," Zeus said, addressing the group. "We wait until they come together. We strike at their leaders. We kill their heroes. We destroy their hope."

"Easier said than done, Zeus. What would you propose?" Anubis said, leering over the others. "The humans still outnumber us, despite our efforts."

"Like cockroaches, they continue to crawl and thrive," Zeus agreed. He waved his hand and a series of maps appeared in front of him.

Hactcin couldn't help but smile as he understood Zeus' plan, the connection between the Pantheon stronger than ever before.

"Our time is fast approaching, my fellows. Prepare your armies. We will crush this pitiful resistance, and they will never know how truly pathetic their short lived resistance was before the strength of the God Programs."

~~

There was something about General Kaplan that left Jack feeling off guard. He supposed in some ways it was simply that the man was an authority figure, much like Erikson or Okoye, but both of them always exuded a certain level of presence that Jack had gotten used to. Where the doctor and the Colonel were both straight backed and statuesque, General Kaplan was hunched, his beard seemed scraggly, and the deep, dark circles under his eyes made Jack think he hadn't slept in weeks. Which, considering the state of the world, was a strong possibility.

Jack hadn't exactly been watching the news much during his recovery period. The doctors had recommended against it, something about 'high stress levels' which Jack should have probably been paying more attention to, but he'd had too much on his mind. Mainly, Gabriel hadn't come back to see him since the first, unfortunate, visit.

"Lay low. I'll figure out if anyone's saying anything about us," Gabriel had said, and that had been that. No contact.

He hadn't gone to Abbey's funeral, Jack had found that out from Maggie. She didn't know much about what Gabriel had been up to, besides spending a lot of time with the General. No one seemed to know what they had been talking about, or what they were doing.

"I mean, there are lots of rumors. I figured you would probably know if anything because you and him are like..." Maggie hadn't gone into more specifics, but Jack had his suspicions. She'd seemed quieter than he remembered her, a little more distant and untouchable.

 _Was it you who saw us_?

"Maggie, look, I don't know what you saw or what you think you saw, but Gabriel and I-" Jack had tried to say, but she'd just shaken her head.

"I know I told you to be careful. I still mean it, he's dangerous but..." She'd stared at the wall of his hospital room, hands on her knees. "I never thought I was naive or anything, you know? I know the world isn't black and white, but I just... Reyes and Goldman, their whole crew, the Court... I guess I always thought that kind of world was all bad, you know? That there was always a higher road for doing things. But we saw what was out there. That room, Jack. I can't get it out of my head. All those people. All those bodies. I wake up dreaming that I'm trapped there. That Goldman didn't save us." Jack watched her fingers tense on her knees, knuckles turning white.

He had near identical dreams almost every night, except in his he walked into the room and it was his family. Maggie. The other soldiers. Abbey. Juan. Gabriel. All dead because he'd been too slow, too weak, too wrapped up in his own bullshit to get there in time.

"She did save us, though," Jack said quietly, barely recognizing his own voice. The doctors had told him he wouldn't, probably for a long time. That the bullet had clipped his vocal cords.

"And now she's dead," Maggie said. "I never thought much of her. I'd look at her and think... she's just a weapon to them. You point a gun, pull the trigger, and she's the bullet. That's all she and Reyes were. But I was wrong. They're the reason we made it out. And that bastard, Erikson, is the reason why-" Her fingers finally relaxed, almost as though she realized what she had been doing. "I was going to let Goldman kill him. I never thought I was that kind of person. But when she said it... if she had done it, and someone asked me what happened, I would have lied. I wanted him to suffer."

"It wouldn't have brought them back, Maggie," Jack said quietly.

"Maybe it would have made me feel better," Maggie said, looking down at her feet. "No, I don't mean that. She'd still be... but, look, you and Reyes? I'm not going to tell anyone. He's under a lot of pressure and you're kind of, I don't know, inspiring, I guess?" She laughed a little, shoulders relaxing as she leaned back.

"Inspiring?" Jack asked, blinking in surprise.

"You have this whole heroic Golden Boy persona. I don't know if you've crafted it or that's just who you are, but you saved my life, and when shit got hard, you kept going. And when I thought you were going to die in that helicopter, I thought... well, I mean, I wasn't thinking a whole lot of coherent stuff, but I was mostly thinking 'I can't lose my friend like this'. You make people want to try harder. I mean, Reyes does too. But you guys do it differently. You're like... this ideal for what people want to think they are, and he's like... someone you don't want to let down. I don't know." She laughed, sounding almost nervous now. "Sorry. I don't mean to get all mushy. I just think you guys can be like... I don't know, a power couple."

Another time, Jack might have blushed, but instead he managed to shuffle forward and hug her, desperately wanting to hold onto someone."Thanks, Maggie. I mean it."

She smiled back at him, wiping her eyes. "Any time, Jack."

He hadn't asked if she was the one who walked in on him and Gabriel together, even though he knew he should have. His greatest fear was simply that if it _hadn't_ been her, who was it? But then, it had to be her, because in the weeks since it had happened, no one had said or done anything. Or at least, nothing that had been brought to his attention.

When the General had called him to the office, for a horrific moment he'd thought it might be because of Maggie, or whoever had seen them, but that fear was quickly dispersed when he saw both Maggie and Nathan in the room. The General sat at Colonel Erikson's desk, and Erikson stood behind him like a haunting gargoyle.

"The three of you have all given the same report, though Morrison's is, understandably, a little late..." General Kaplan said, turning a screen towards them. "So, would you all say it's accurate?"

Jack leaned forward, looking at the page the General had flipped to. The thing Jack had managed to forget about while everything else had been falling apart. " _The Omnic claimed, when asked why it was attacking humans, that it heard the voice of God_."

Jack cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"A holy war, then. Never thought that we'd see that in my lifetime. Not like this anyway." The General sighed, setting down the screen and observing the group. "Next week we're presenting these findings to the UN. We're also making some official announcements regarding a global effort to stop the Omnics. SEP will be running security during the event, and it will be the last time you act as a group. The formal announcement will be made later, but the three of you may be questioned by some of the world's leaders about what you saw and what you heard."

Jack and Maggie glanced at each other, Maggie getting a bit pale.

"So far the recommendation has been that Morrison here speaks for the group. I've seen his work with the press, that shouldn't be a problem," the Colonel said, leaning back in the chair.

Jack felt himself get a little pale this time. "Sir, I-"

"The other two will go for," Kaplan waved his hand, ignoring Jack's protest, "legitimacy? Let's call it that. Whatever makes Adawe happy."

"General, with all due respect, would it not be better if you, or myself were to lead this particular endeavor?" the Colonel asked, head moving only slightly to look down at the General.

"You're not doing much of anything anymore, unless it involves being reassigned to Antarctica," Kaplan said, completely dismissing Erikson.

"Hey-" Nathan said, taking a small step forward.

Kaplan's eyes turned sharply onto Nathan. "That's hey _sir_ , to you. Would you like to join your uncle there? Or would you like to go and have another chance to prove yourself?"

Nathan's mouth set firmly and he stepped back, falling into line.

"That's what I thought. As I said, our official capacity will be guarding the UN security council. After that, all SEP soldiers who have completed their injections will be reassigned to new squads. Some of you will have plenty of options," the General's gaze fell over Maggie and Jack before going back to Nathan, "and some of you will not. I suggest taking some time to think about where you'd like to go. Zhang, Morrison, as I understand it you still have two months left of injections before you're finished... basting. We don't have that kind of time anymore, so we'll be giving you and the others an expedited option."

"Is that safe, sir?" Maggie asked, shifting nervously.

"According to Okoye, not ideal, but you have enough tolerance built up that it won't kill you,” Kaplan said, so dismissive that Jack felt a little ill. "It has to be done. We don't have the resources to sit around and wait anymore. Anyone who hasn't completed their injection series is getting it done tomorrow. Should give you all enough time to recover. For now, the three of you are dismissed. I'll be preparing your assignments in the meantime." He waved his hand, turning towards the Colonel. "Now, let's continue to discuss your... transition."

"I don't like the sound of any of this," Nathan muttered as they left the room, the doors sealing behind them. "They're throwing us under the bus."

"No one asked you," Maggie snipped, taking Jack's arm. "Come on, Jack. I'll make sure you get back to your room."

Nathan growled, getting in front of them. "I'm not your fucking _enemy_ , I was there too! Morrison, back me up here, I did my part! I didn't mean for anyone to die!"

Jack clenched his fists, looking away. "We're the ones who did our job. Goldman did her job. You didn't. No one's going to forget that. Let's go, Maggie." He brushed past Nathan, his shoulder knocking against him as he walked away.

"The audacity of that little..." Maggie muttered under her breath, sighing. "After all the shit he's given you, now what, you're _friends_?"

"It doesn't matter," Jack said, trying to push down the anger that bubbled quickly to the surface in Nathan's presence. "If he's not getting court marshaled, the least the General can do is put him somewhere he won't get in anyone's way."

"There's no justice in that," Maggie said, stopping in front of Jack's door. "Then again, I guess there's no justice in any of this, is there? We might just die on this stuff tomorrow, or wind up with arms made of black goo like Tom did."

"We've been through too much now for that to happen," Jack said quietly, reaching up and tugging up his turtleneck, feeling the scars underneath it. "We've lost too much. For everyone who didn't make it... we have to."

Maggie smiled a little, knocking her shoulder against his. "There you are with that inspiring business. I'll see you tomorrow, Jack. And uh... if you need to sleep on my couch, let me know. Nadia won't mind. And Reyes has been..." She sighed, scratching the back of her head. "Well, I mean normally he's like 'woof', right? Lately he hasn't looked so good. I mean, not that I blame him but... you know, if he's up all night pacing or whatever. Couch."

"I appreciate the offer. I'll let you know," Jack said, a spike of worry running through him. "Thanks, Maggie."

"No need to thank me. What are friends for?" Maggie said, giving a small shrug.

Jack watched her go and sighed, opening the door and peering inside. "Gabriel? I'm back..." He stepped in and closed the door, eyes going wide. "Jesus."

The room was covered with an assortment of maps and books, scattered across the tables, counters, and even the floor. Jack felt a book get caught under the door as he opened it, and he bent down to pick it up, raising an eyebrow at the title. _Omnics and Artificial Intelligence: A Case Study_.

"Gabe?" he called, closing the door behind him and glancing around.

Gabriel sat up on the couch, a book falling off of his face. He blinked, looking bleary-eyed and tired. "Jack? Christ, you sound like you've been gargling broken glass." He blinked again, rubbing his face. "Am I dreaming?"

"If you are, it's a crappy dream," Jack said, wandering around the scattered papers. "Is this what you've been doing instead of visiting me?"

Gabriel sighed, setting down the books and clearing some space. "No, I've been trying to sort out who might have seen us. No one's said anything that I know of but... I figured I should steer clear, just in case."

"You didn't think maybe I would..." Jack started, but he sighed, not bothering to finish. "Not coming to see me is suspicious for different reasons. We're supposed to be partners."

"Yeah, well, I'm a risk for 'depression' apparently, so no one's asked much. I decided to take the chance to study up," Gabriel said, taking Jack's hand and drawing him down onto the couch. He yawned, trying to hide it. "Sorry I didn't come back." He sounded guilty, which Jack guessed could have just been from not coming to see him at all, but then...

"I did want you to come and see me," Jack said quietly, running his thumb over Gabriel's knuckles. "If that's what you were worried about... which you'd have known if you'd have _asked_ me."

Gabriel sighed, closing his eyes and falling back on the couch. "I acted like an idiot, and if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not-"

"Okay, but maybe I really _would,_ " Jack said, his stomach clenching in terror as he said the words. He didn't, really. There had been a line, somewhere in that room, and he wasn't sure if it had been crossed or not. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, either, but the words came anyway. "I'm not... upset or mad or anything. If that's what you're worried about."

"Why would I worry about it? You didn't use the safe word. Everything was fine," Gabriel said, without even a shred of his usual confidence. "When you did, I stopped, didn't I?"

"Yeah, I know that, I just..." Jack scratched the back of his neck, trying desperately to relax his muscles, "It felt really close, you know? And I just-"

"It won't happen again. Not like that," Gabriel said bluntly, not looking at Jack. "What we do? It's just fun, and that wasn't... fun. I'd never do it like that for real. That's not who I am. I was only... it doesn't matter. If you ever tell me to stop for real, I will."

"Okay, and that's _fine,_ I know you will. I trust you," Jack said, taking Gabriel's shoulder and forcing him to look at him. "More than... God, Gabriel, I've never trusted _anyone_ like I trust you, or I'd be to fucking scared to do even a fraction of this shit. I'm trying to say..." He hesitated. What _was_ he trying to say? "That if something bad happens again... I just... will you be okay? Because you weren't. I know you weren't. And maybe you aren't, I don't know. But I need to know what the fuck I should do to help you, because I don't have any idea. I'm not good at this. And what happened in there... I don't know, I thought it was helping you, but I don't think it did."

"No, look, it wasn't... for fuck's sake. What am I supposed to say here?" Gabriel asked, throwing up his hands. "I haven't slept all week, Abbey is... there's not going to be any justice for her. Erikson gets off the fucking hook. And I nearly... you just about _died_ , Jack. Twice in the same goddamn day I thought you died on me. Yeah, I freaked out. Happy now? Can we drop it?"

"Why would that make me happy?" Jack shook his head, his shoulders sinking. "I wanted her to get some justice... I would have testified or done... Do you think it would make a difference? I mean they want me to meet with the UN about what I heard from the Omnic but-"

Gabriel sighed, shaking his head. "No. It's already been decided. It isn't the hill to die on." He looked back at Jack, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry. About what happened, about not coming to see you... about not talking. I felt like I'd lost you."

"You didn't." Jack smiled a little, resting his hand on Gabriel's and sighing. "But, um... look, I do have to tell you something."

Gabriel looked at him warily, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"They're uh... expediting everyone who hasn't finished their injections. You know, because SEP is closing down. I guess rather than cutting us off they're just going to... but yeah I figured I should say. I probably won't be very fun for a few days. They said maybe the whole week before the conference," Jack said, sighing and pulling his legs to his chest. "Here I was sort of hoping I'd get to spend more than a day out of a hospital bed. Wishful thinking I guess."

Gabriel's eyes narrowed and he reached out, touching behind Jack's neck. "Is that safe?"

"I don't know. Probably not," Jack admitted, looking down. "That's part of why I just... I wanted everything on the table. Before that. In case it goes bad, like with Tom and the others. I'm not mad. I'm not... I just missed you. I just wanted to be here for you." Not that Gabriel would ever let him be, except for that one brief moment where it had felt like Gabriel had told him... everything. So many dark secrets, before all his walls went back up.

Jack wondered how much of that Abbey had known. Maybe Gabriel just needed one person to know it all. Maybe that was all he could take.

"I just... needed things to be clear. That even with all of this... I'm still yours. If I get all..." Jack waved his hand, not even sure what the gesture was supposed to be. "If it fucks me up and my limbs start rotting off, I just-"

Gabriel reached out and turned his head, pressing his lips against Jack's. There was still that hint of desperation showing through as he nipped at the tender skin, but he pulled back quickly, almost like he was afraid Jack would break in his hands.

Gabriel sighed, resting his forehead against Jack's, thumb stroking his cheek. "It's not going to happen to you. Don't talk like that."

"Okay, but what if it does?" Jack asked quietly, closing his eyes.

"Then I'll still be here. Probably holding onto you for dear life, because I'm a stubborn bastard and I'm not letting go." Gabriel sighed, leaning back on the couch and taking Jack with him. "Besides, they want you and I on the same team. Some... global task force or something for the UN. I figure it's got to be mostly safe if they're already making promises like that."

Jack blinked, laying on Gabriel's chest. "Global task force?”

"Yeah. The UN's going to declare it a global crisis, so they're pulling the best from a bunch of places. I guess they're the vultures with the first pick at SEP's corpse," Gabriel said, staring at the ceiling and absently running his fingers through Jack's hair. "I mean, I guess we could still say no, you have your family back in-"

"Of course I'll go, what are you even talking about?" Jack rolled his eyes, lightly punching Gabriel's side. "Someone has to watch your back." _With Abbey gone_. She was the only person he could think of that he would have trusted to take care of Gabriel. Maggie, maybe, but she still didn't seem to like him much.

Gabriel smiled, nodding. "Figured you'd say that, Mr. Hero Complex." He sighed, biting his lip. "Thing is though... you and me would have to keep what we've got going under wraps. If we were in separate units then it'd be fine, but if we're staying on the same team it'd be-"

"Right, yeah." Jack sighed in return, closing his eyes. Despite doing so little, he felt completely exhausted. The cost of recovery, he supposed. "I mean, it's not ideal, but I guess it beats a long distance relationship in the middle of a war where we never see each other."

Gabriel snorted. "Yeah, I guess that's probably... more or less what Abbey and Juan went through." He sighed, shaking his head. "Fuck, sorry. I'm a depressing pain in the ass right now."

"Tell you what, if you let me use you as a cushion you can talk about whatever you want," Jack mumbled quietly.

"Still feeling rough, huh?" Gabriel asked, sighing as he let Jack curl up on him.

"Been better," Jack said, staying where he was. "How pissed will you be if I fall asleep?"

"Not even remotely," Gabriel said, closing his own eyes and settling down. "I was the one who was asleep when you came in, remember?"

"Right, remember something about that," Jack mumbled, yawning. "Glad to be back here. Even if it's just for a while."

"Same," Gabriel chuckled. "I really like this couch."

"You don't like the couch, you just have fond memories of it." Jack smiled, feeling some of the tension drain from his body as he settled in.

"Yeah. Think they'll let me bring it with us?" Gabriel asked, laughing a little.

"Doubt it. But a man can dream," Jack said, finally able to ignore the looming dread of what might be coming next.

~~

Gabriel waited outside the med labs with some of the other partners, all of them waiting to find out how Dr. Okoye's latest round of patients had fared. Nadia had come and gone with Maggie, and there was no sign of Erikson, but then, he would have been done with his injections and his partner was...

Gabriel sighed, putting his head in his hands and rubbing his face. He was so tired. So tired of thinking about death all the time. So tired of missing so many fucking people.

"Last one here?" He looked up, and standing in front of him was the doctor herself, looking as poised as she always did. Strange, considering she stood to lose the most of all of them. It could have been the first day they'd met for all the emotion she showed.

Gabriel looked around, wondering how long he'd spent in his own head. He'd have sworn there were four or five other people there before. "Yeah, guess I am. Jack okay?"

"They will be fine. Their tolerance is high enough that this will simply be... extremely unpleasant," Okoyoe said, sitting down beside him. "Dr. Weber will take care of him."

Gabriel stared at her a moment, trying to get some gauge on her emotions. As usual, he didn't have much luck. "So, you'll be out of a job soon, I suppose."

"Not really," Okoye said, picking lint off her skirt. "I have been asked to continue my research. Perfect it, before we return the program to what we have now. They require something with a higher success rate, and fewer unpleasant side effects."

"You're thinking that's not very likely, I take it?" Gabriel asked.

"Extremely unlikely. But this crisis will grow worse, people will become more desperate, and then they will come to me again," Okoye said, dropping the lint and letting it fall to the ground. "When people believe they have run out of options, they always turn to what they believe will save them. It does not matter if they trust the person, or the method - a survivor will do whatever they think will rescue them."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you doc?" Gabriel said, sighing and staring at the door.

"Many things, not everything. Some day, perhaps. I have challenged the human body on one count, and it has fought me every step of the way. Perhaps one day I will find a way to go further, and conquer even death, but I doubt it. SEP will be my greatest triumph," Okoye said, seeming to stare at the lint on the floor. "I do not think it will be yours, though."

"Right, because I'm the practical man?" Gabriel asked, his voice sounding almost like mockery.

"Amongst other things. The world needs you, Gabriel Reyes. Tucson proves that. What happens with the UN will define that," Okoye said, calm and clear, as though she could see his entire future unfold before her eyes. "This world will be saved. We will all have a part to play in that. Even if they don't thank you for it, or banish you to the research division until they need you again... this world will need the practical, sooner or later, instead of the heroes."

Gabriel was still trying to think of a reply when the light above the medical room flashed, indicating Jack was on his way out.

Okoyoe stood up, moving gracefully away from him down the hall. "Take care, Gabriel."

Gabriel was still trying to think of what to say to her when Jack came out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little on the short side, but the next two will be pretty packed now that I have some loose ends wrapped up.
> 
> THE END IS NIGH.
> 
> Special thanks to everyone who's been sending me music the past few weeks, that's been awesome. The next two chapters should (in theory) be out faster.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Demands? Fun songs you think would be fun on my five hour long Reaper76 playlist? Find me at: http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> As always, special thanks to Aisu. They continue to be amazing and keep me from making bad(worse) choices.


	15. The Official Declaration of the Omnic Crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: I am SO SORRY this Chapter went through such a huge delay. March destroyed me. Thank you to everyone for being so patient!
> 
> TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> This chapter contains:  
> \- Dubious consent  
> \- A scene of brutal violence  
> \- Discussion of rape/sexual assault  
> \- PTSD/hallucinations
> 
> As always if you have questions, concerns, complaints or compliments you can find me at: http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> And a special thanks to my beloved beta Aisu, who is an absolute star despite giving me a 0/10 on this chapter for not having enough lesbians. All I can say is: That's fair.

Jack tried to think about every single other injection and compare, as objectively as he could, where his week ranked among 'the worst he had ever felt in his entire life'.  While the injections usually made him feel at the very least nauseous, and at the very most very violently ill for a day or two, Okoye's new concoction very literally left him blind with pain for two days. He'd been vaguely aware, on and off, of doctors coming and going. There had seemed to be more, suddenly, than he could ever remember. Voices he didn't recognize saying... something. Doing something.

The sound of the screaming and retching from other beds was enough to distract him. Sometimes the doctors were even kind enough to keep him sedated, which helped with the feeling that fire ants were climbing all over his body, biting every inch of him. He was sure he’d screamed, but the memories were hazy at best. He wished the pain would be just as hazy. He'd cried, clawed at his arms until they'd had to strap him down.

At some point he'd heard Maggie's screams, Claude's, other voices that he didn't know or couldn't recognize in his state.

He'd hallucinated too, and those were almost as bad as the feverish state where he could almost tell what was going on. Once he'd found himself unable to breathe, and woken up with Abbey sitting on his chest, staring down at him. "You dying today, Lucky?"

"I let go of your hand... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let go of your-" He could still feel the warmth of her hand, and when he looked down her fingers were wrapped around his. He couldn't breathe. "Ab-"

"I don't give a shit anymore," Abbey chuckled, putting her free hand on his neck. "It means something that you tried." She reached up, patting his cheek. "Protect him for me, okay?" Then she'd been gone, and once again he'd been able to breathe.

He'd seen Tom too, standing over him with his black arm rotting off. Jack could smell it. He'd leaned over Jack, grabbing onto his arm and tugging at it. "Can you feel it? The poison they're pumping into you? Like they're boiling you alive from the inside out?"

Tom didn't stay there for long.

"You keep asking the wrong questions, Jack," he'd said, but Jack couldn't remember asking anyone anything. Everyone had just been asking _him_ questions.

Gabriel had been there too, though half the time Jack wasn't sure if he was real, or just another hallucination. "Not leaving you this time, Prom King."

"I'll protect... I'll..." Jack tried to tell him, tried to tell her, that he would. That he promised.

 _Dear mom and dad, I feel like my body is dying_. He heard his parents more often than he saw them. Heard his mother singing some lullaby that made less sense the more he thought about the words. Heard his dad in the kitchen downstairs making soup... except he wasn't home.

"Ever think you'll see home again, blondie?" Abbey asked, brushing greasy hair off of his sweat-stained face. "Would it even be home anymore? Or is that just you and Gabe, sitting on that couch together?" She laughed. "The war goes on."

~~

It was Friday by the time Jack could sit up straight and eat by himself again, instead of through a tube or an IV. The hallucinations had subsided, and his fever had gone down enough that the doctors stopped checking on him every half hour or so.

His body felt clumsy and deformed, even though it took him a little while to pinpoint exactly how. Back when he'd first joined SEP, Gabriel and the others who had been there for longer had already been about halfway through their injections. The changes since then had happened gradually, but for Jack and the other newbies, the final steps had come to fruition in a week instead of their two remaining months. He felt unrecognizable from who he had been. _He_ was different.

"You sure you're going to be up for this?" Gabriel asked, and though he hid his concern well Jack could see the little worry lines on his forehead. They were in their room again, although Jack couldn’t quite remember when he’d gotten there. "This is a bad idea. You and the others should just stay at the base. It's a fucking UN meeting, and if Erikson can do one thing right it's probably parroting what some damn tin can told him."

"Oh, fuck off. I'm fine," Jack said, still getting used to the foreign sound of his voice. That was going to take some getting used to.

"Sure you are. You're pale even by your sad ass standard, and you can barely stand," Gabriel said, folding his arms and watching him as Jack made his way to their cluttered couch.

Jack was relieved just being back in his room.

"I'm not some dainty little flower, Gabe," he said, sinking onto the couch and closing his eyes. "Some half decent food and I'll be good to go." The very idea of eating made him want to throw up.

"You're so full of shit." Gabriel sighed, throwing himself down on the couch beside him. "I'm sick of seeing you in hospital beds. I just want..." He stared up at the ceiling. "Who the fuck knows what I want at this point?"

"Well, if it helps I appreciate the concern," Jack said, slowly putting his hand on Gabriel's thigh. "I'm not exactly loving hospital beds these days. Not all that comfortable, and nine times out of ten you're not in them."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, reaching out and messing up Jack's hair. "Listen here, Mr. Golden Boy, your charms will get you nowhere with me."

"Except into your pants," Jack jibbed, poking Gabriel's stomach and making the other man laugh.

"You're a shit disturber, you know that?" Gabriel leaned in, kissing him lightly. The motion was enough to make Jack ache for him, feeling starved for any touch after everything that had happened. "I was perfectly happy being a cynical bastard before you came in on your white horse, Prom King."

"No one said you had to stop being a cynical bastard just because _I_ happened to be a ray of sunshine," Jack said, moving to lay on top of Gabriel. He still felt like shit, but he wanted to be close. To feel something that wasn't pain or misery. "A cynical bastard can still have fun in other ways..." He dipped his hand down between Gabriel's legs, wanting him even though he knew he should really be resting. Wanting to display, somehow, that everything was okay.

Gabriel let out a small hiss, grabbing Jack's wrist. "You are so not ready for that right now."

"My wrist isn't broken, I can give a hand job," Jack said, raising an eyebrow. "Unless you're not interested?" Though the growing bulge under his hand would indicate otherwise.

"We're supposed to be playing it safe," Gabriel said, his grip on Jack's hand loosening. "And I'm tense."

"Sex is supposed to help with that. I promise, I read it somewhere," Jack said, undoing Gabriel's pants one-handed.

"I know that's a lie because you don't read." Gabriel laughed, his head tilting back on the couch as Jack slipped his hand into Gabriel's underwear. He moaned a little as Jack ran his thumb over his slit, wiping small beads of precum along the head of his cock. "I'm trying to be nice, you're not feeling-"

"I don't want you to be nice," Jack said, leaning in and kissing him.

He gasped a little when Gabriel reached out and tugged down the sweat pants Jack had been wearing ever since he'd been allowed to walk by himself. Which, admittedly, had only been a few hours.

"Gabe, I don't think-"

"You just said not to be nice," Gabriel said, taking Jack's hips and pulling him down against him. He pressed Jack's quickly growing erection against his own, holding them against each other. "So I'm going to do what I want to do. And I _want_ to see your face when you cum, because it's a fucking turn on."

Jack leaned his head against Gabriel's shoulder, catching his breath as Gabriel took his fingers and wrapped both their hands around their cocks, working their hands together back and forth over the sensitive skin.  He worked his hand along with Gabriel’s, keeping his breath steady as his body twitched.

"I missed you," Gabriel mumbled, leaning over and kissing him. "So stop getting fucked up."

Jack kissed him back, moaning low in his throat as they worked together. "Yeah, I'm working on that."

It was intimate, and almost felt lazy to a degree, the two of them laid out on the couch, both their hands working against each other. That in itself wasn't so bad - Jack was still exhausted, so it lacked the intensity that they usually had when they were together. It wasn't exactly what Jack had wanted, but with Gabriel's hands on him and their bodies laid out against each other, he wasn't about to complain.

For some reason, it brought his safe word to mind.

"Gabe-" he said, or tried to say, but then he realized how close to the edge he was. He'd lost track of how long they'd been there. For a second he thought he might have even fallen asleep. Maybe it had all just been a dream, or a hallucination, and he was still in the medbay.

"Still here," Gabriel mumbled back to him, his breath catching. "Fuck, I could do this all night."

"We have to go to the UN tomorrow." Jack said, gasping a little when Gabriel's fingers entwined with his, working around the heads of their cocks together. "I don't think we can-"

"Do this all night?" Gabriel laughed, voice breathy in his ear. "You should see your face right now. You get all flushed... I should take it this slow all the time. I can watch you a lot longer, and you don't squirm around as much. It's like seeing everything in slow motion, and I'd watch you cum," his voice was getting less steady, and Jack could tell Gabriel was close to coming now, "frame by frame."

That did Jack in, and he came hard, Gabriel coming soon after. Jack collapsed onto Gabriel's chest, breathing steadily again, his eyes closing. "You know what? Dirty talk will get you everywhere."

"Oh yeah, this coming from you who just gave me that whole 'don't treat me nicely' line," Gabriel said, arms wrapping around Jack's shoulders. "I'd have fucking ravaged you if I weren't so worried about you."

"Maybe when we... you think the UN squad will have doors that lock?" Jack asked, tugging up his sweat pants. "Because that was nice and all but-"

"Yeah, you want me to fuck you like an animal," Gabriel said, his voice carrying a sing-song tune that Jack wasn't used to. "I want to feel you from the inside--"

"Wait, are you singing to me right now?" Jack asked, a grin spreading across his face.

"And you... seriously? You're as kinky as you are and you don't know that song?" Gabriel asked, looking completely baffled. "God,  who was in charge of your musical education? I'm going to find them and kill them."

"My dad, thank you very much. And he has excellent taste." Jack scoffed, sliding over beside Gabriel so he was sandwiched between his lover and the back of the couch.

"Jack. I'm so sorry," Gabriel said in all seriousness. "I have to kill your father."

Jack took a pillow from behind his head and smacked it into Gabriel's face gently. "You're such a dick. I'm going to shower."

"Want company?" Gabriel asked, resting his hands behind his head as Jack climbed clumsily over him, the pillow still askew on his head.

"Since I might still collapse in the shower, yeah, it wouldn't hurt," Jack said, thumping onto the floor beside them. He offered Gabriel his hand, but the other man just leaned down and kissed his hand before he stood up and took Jack's hips.

"You're _sure_ you're okay for tomorrow?" Gabriel asked again, eyebrow raised. "Because if you were trying to distract me from being worried with sex, it didn't work."

"And I was so hoping that it did," Jack said, letting Gabriel guide him towards the bathroom. "You feeling less tense at least?"

"Ask me again when the war's over. Then I'll be less tense."

~~

Gabriel had been out of the country before, but God, he hated whenever they were sent to a cold country. And, as Jack kept reminding him, Austria was "not actually that cold".

"It's under seventy degrees. It's a cold country," Gabriel snapped back, wrapped in the warmest jacket SEP would let him wear. "My ears are fucking freezing." He glared at the rainy weather outside, missing the desert. At least when Tucson had flooded it had still been warm. Sort of.

"I'll get you a hat." Jack had smiled, while other members of SEP had chuckled, sitting tight in their military plane as they waited to unload. "You know, I've never even been to another country before."

"Me neither," Maggie chimed in. She, Jack, and the others who had been through the expedited serum process all looked rough. Better than even the day before, but still rough. Their faces were gaunt, the black circles under their eyes made them look like they'd been punched, and they looked almost as though they'd been built out of pure muscle, and not in a healthy way.

Gabriel just wanted to stick the rookies back in bed where they belonged. "Vienna's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Killjoy." Jack rolled his eyes, standing up to get off the plane with the others. "I mean we're not going to see any of the fun parts. Just the UN building."

Which was, as far as buildings went, very dull in Gabriel's opinion. During his time at the Court he'd flown all over the world. Architecture in general didn't hold a lot of interest for him, and when he did go to other countries he tended to mainly see hotels and shadier parts of town.

 _If the Omnics leave anything half decent, maybe I'll go sightseeing. Take a vacation._ Gabriel snorted a little under his breath, taking in the lobby of the building and the various world leaders who were arriving. Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chancellors and would-be dictators all wore the same expression. They were tired and afraid, which was something he could relate to. _For once we all have something in common_.

There would be no ambassadors at the meeting itself. These were the leaders of the world, each of them offering their takes on the crisis, and it was, in no uncertain terms, a security nightmare.

He followed after the Colonel along with the others, watching carefully as they passed, as they were appraised in turn by the security from other countries. Most of them looked a great deal more like soldiers than security guards. The sheer size of the German Chancellor's bodyguards gave away that she had brought members of her Crusaders rather than bodyguards, and he had little doubt the military specialists would be there in high numbers, despite the agreement that SEP would provide the extra security.

"You see him? Christ, I thought we were supposed to be the genetically enhanced ones." Maggie muttered to Jack as they walked past a Crusader who must have been over seven feet tall. "What do they feed people in Germany?"

"Well, I want some," Jack agreed, following after Gabriel as the Colonel led their group to an elevator.

"Everyone, to the positions as they were laid out to you during our debriefing. Reyes, Erikson, Zhang, Morrison, you'll be coming with me. The Swedish Prime Minister and the President of China have thrown together some experts who want to hear your story before the meeting so they can offer some fully formed opinions," the Colonel said, waving for them to follow. "Reyes, you'll stay with me. Zhang, after the meeting you'll go with Reyes. Morrison, Erikson, you'll be on roof duty-"

The bottom dropped out of Gabriel's stomach. He wasn't even sure he heard the rest of what the Colonel said. He could feel his teeth grinding as he glanced over his shoulder at Nathan, who looked a little pale, almost as though he had been expecting Gabriel to immediately strangle him. If there weren't so many witnesses around, he might have done that. More than that.

"Do you remember the time I curb stomped that terrorist? What was his name?" Gabriel looked back ahead, trying to ignore the fact that Abbey was there. Walking beside him. Smiling at him.

He'd seen her too many times lately. In his dreams and while he was awake. Sometimes she looked normal, like she did now, with her uniform on, swinging her dog tags around her fingers. Sometimes she was just a walking corpse, flesh rotting off from the Tucson sun, her skull caving in and blood dripping as she walked. He'd seen her standing over Jack when the young soldier had been so far gone that he didn't even know Gabriel was there, and Abbey had seemed to touch him, wrapping her hand around his throat.

 _You are Gabriel Reyes, you are fine_ , Gabriel thought to himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to focus on what the Colonel was saying. It felt like white noise.

"Can you picture Nathan with his brains splattered all over the sidewalk?" Abbey asked, and Gabriel could see it. He could feel himself putting his boot down on the back of Nathan's neck. Raising his foot. Slamming it down.

_Abbey Goldman is dead._

"And whose fault is that?" she asked, leaning over and whispering in his ear. "Yours, or Nathan's?"

"Reyes, are you paying attention?" the Colonel snapped, dragging Gabriel back to reality.

"Yes, sir," Gabriel said, glancing around and realizing they were at the door. "Morrison, the door."

Jack nodded, looking at him with concern as he passed by, but he didn't say anything.

Inside there were only two people, rather than the panel of experts that Gabriel had expected. The first one he noticed was a woman - China's representative, he assumed - with shock white hair and a pair of thick glasses. She glanced up at them as they entered the room, peering over her glasses to get a better look at the group.

The second man looked to be Sweden's expert, a dwarf at first glance, with a thick blond beard and a bit of a gut. He said something to the woman in what sounded like Mandarin, but Gabriel supposed could have been Cantonese for all he knew about Asian languages. She nodded, picking up a datapad from the table and leaving the room through a second door.

The Colonel cleared his throat, looking confused by what had transpired. That much was amusing, because seeing Erikson's usually immovable face express anything but removed distance often made Gabriel think that part of his skin might crack and fall off. "Excuse me, I was led to believe we would be meeting-"

"Yes, yes, a meeting between you and some diplomats who think they have better things to do, and a smart woman who _does_ have better things to do," the man said with a thick Swedish accent. He hopped up on a desk, taking his own datapad. "I can take down all the important bits. I don't see why you needed to drag your entire..." he waved around his own datapad, "American football team with you."

Jack glanced between the group. "Um, there are only five of us-"

"You're a little dense, aren't you boy?" the man said, scowling. "Alright, tell me what I need to know."

"Yeah?" Gabriel said, stepping between the rest of the group - specifically Jack - and crossing his arms over his chest. "And who the fuck are you supposed to be, exactly?"

The man chuckled, looking Gabriel up and down. "Do they make all of you soldiers in a factory, then? You're all the same height, same size... except you're a little short."

"You're one to talk," Gabriel said back, raising an eyebrow and staring down at the stranger. "Shouldn't you be here with your six brothers?"

"O-okay! Hey, how about we maybe all calm down?" Jack said, putting a hand gently on Gabriel's shoulder. "This is Colonel Erikson from SEP, this is Captain Reyes, I'm Jack Morrison, and this is-"

"Finally someone with manners. Torbjorn Lindholm, from the Ironclad Guild. The UN has put me in charge of the Omnics from an engineering point of view. That was Liao, she'll be handling the software perspective. She can follow up with... right, Morrison and Reyes." He looked over Jack at Gabriel, sighing. "You two, later. But I'll get the gist. What is it that you heard? No one's gotten a single word out of an Omnic since all this started."

The Colonel glanced at Jack, giving a short nod. "Morrison, if you would."

"Yes, sir," Jack said, stepping forward and giving Torbjorn a file folder. "This is our report from Tucson, but the Omnic only said one thing to us. When I asked it why, it just said that the voice of God told it to."

"Holy War, Mr. Lindholm," the Colonel said, watching as the Swede flipped through the file folder and the pictures housed within. "The Omnics are going to wipe us out because-"

"Unlikely. It reads more like simple extermination, no need to gussy it up," Torbjorn said, snapping the folder shut. "Omnics act purely based on logic. That is how they are designed. I doubt there's a single one that understands on any emotional level what a Holy War would be. If they're hearing 'The Voice of God', it's an external, literal, force called God, not a metaphysical God."

"So it's... what, useless?" Jack asked, his shoulders falling.

Gabriel could almost read his mind. _All those people died for nothing_.

"No, not useless, lad." Torbjorn shook his head. "It gives us a goal. We need to know what this Voice of God is, and why the Omnics are obeying it. Is it a person? A corporation? A virus?" He shrugged, hopping off the desk. "What we need to do now is break down the Omnics themselves and trace back to the source. Which means we need to win a battle and have some decommissioned ones we can work with. Liao and I can do the work, but we need more to work with." He grinned, stroking his long beard. "Here's hoping that's where our new super soldiers will come in handy. But ah well, that's more Adawe's problem than mine."

Gabriel glanced at Jack, who looked back at him, shrugging helplessly.

"Don't worry boys, you just need to kill them." Torbjorn grinned a bit wider. "I hear you're good at that part."

~~

Jack was caught between hating everything about the UN building and complete awe at the whole situation. When everything had started, back when he had signed the papers at the recruitment papers, he had thought he _might_ see a single battle, he _might_ get to fly on a plane and he _might_ have an adventure. Now he was rubbing elbows with almost every leader of the free world, in Vienna, and he would never call what had happened an adventure.

 _All fun and games until half of your unit is dead_ , Jack thought, shouldering his pulse rifle and walking up the stairs to the roof. _At least I'll get to see Vienna._

And afterwards, he would be meeting the under-secretary-general of the UN with Gabriel and...

"What, that's it? We're staying here?" Gabriel had demanded from the Colonel.

"I have heard rumors that you'll be moved from here to the Swedish base in Geneva, but yes that will be the gist of it. You can send messages to your families after we're done, as far as I'm aware, but you will no longer be under the jurisdiction of the United States Army," Erikson had said. "Good luck with Lindholm. I'm sure he'll be... easy to get along with."

Jack opened the door to the roof and sighed, feeling the sun on his face. It was a little brisk, especially compared to the desert he'd begun to get used to... he'd have to get himself something when he found Gabriel a hat. Maybe he'd get Gabriel a beanie. It felt like that would suit him.

Maybe he'd get them matching ones. It felt stupid, but just having something like an inside joke made everything a little bit easier. A little more intimate-

The door slammed closed as Nathan followed Jack onto the roof, startling him out of his fond daydream. Jack had been trying not to look at Nathan since they'd arrived, keeping his focus on Gabriel. His lover had seemed more tense than ever, and more than once he'd suspected that Gabriel might attack Nathan again. He'd heard some of the story from Maggie about what Gabriel had done when Jack had returned injured along with the news that Abbey was dead.

"We need to talk, Jack," Nathan said, eyeing Jack up and down in a way that almost made Jack feel like he was being appraised.

"Well, seeing as how we have a job to do, talking isn't really an option right now," Jack said. He would rather spend four hours in complete silence than say one word more to Nathan.

"We're on the fucking roof, we'll see anything coming for fucking miles!" Nathan snapped, grabbing Jack's arm and he went to turn away. "And I'm going to talk to you whether you like it or not!"

"Leave me alone-!" Jack started to say, but then he saw Nathan reaching for something under his jacket. Gun, was his first thought, and he very nearly went for his pulse rifle before he realized it was a phone. "Where did you-?"

He stopped dead. He couldn't breathe. When the screen lit up, there it was. Him with Gabriel between his legs, on the bed in the hospital room. Worse, there was a play button, which Nathan hit without hesitation. Jack could hear himself gasping, begging, and without the context of what had happened it seemed like...

"So, did he make you do this, or is this just what you two do for fun?" Nathan asked. Jack almost expected him to be mocking, but the question seemed genuine. "Answer the question Jack."

Jack was transfixed, watching himself, trying to find the words to say. "Stop it."

"Tell me."

"Fuck you, turn it off!" Jack snapped, almost worried someone would see, but they were alone on the roof. "It's none of your goddamn business!" he hissed out, trying to keep his voice down. He sounded hysterical. Nathan. Nathan had seen them, not Maggie. _Don't panic. Don't panic. Keep this shit on lockdown_.

"The only reason I didn't take this straight to my uncle is because you saved my life," Nathan said, pausing the video and lowering his hand. "So did he rape you, or is this what you do for fun? Not that it matters. He's your superior officer. The military is-"

"No one made me do anything I didn't want to do," Jack growled, shaking. He took a deep breath, rubbing sweat off his forehead. "What the fuck do you want, Nathan? Just to ask me if I was... I _wasn't_. It's nothing. Leave it alone."

"And you're still defending him," Nathan growled, stepping forward and getting in Jack's face. "This right here? This doesn't look like fun. I don't care what you're into. You're hurt and you told him to stop. He doesn't. So anyone who sees this video in high command? This will mean dishonorable discharge and maybe even prison time for him."

"I told you, he didn't make me do anything," Jack said, taking a step back, on the defensive and searching desperately to find a way out. What did he have? What could he do? "Please just leave it. We'll be gone soon anyway, you'll never-"

"You don't fucking get it! God, stop protecting him!" Nathan snapped, grabbing the front of Jack's shirt. "You're a good guy! You saved me when you didn't have to! Why the fuck are you letting a murderer get away with shit like this? Why do you keep pretending he's a good guy? His bitch was going to kill me in cold blood - they aren't the heroes!"

"Yeah? If you hate them so much why did you want to be one of them?" Jack demanded, grabbing Nathan's wrist and yanking it away. It felt easy with his adrenaline pumping. "Or are you still so fucking pissed because he didn't want you?"

Nathan's eyes went wide and then he laughed, stepping back. "Wanted to join the Court? Uh, no. My _mom_ wanted me to join the Court. Good for my career, in her fucking high and mighty opinion. I offered Reyes' boss a fucking favor if he kept me off the team. I guess the good fucking General was all too happy to let your boy take the blowback. Best of both worlds."

Jack blinked, lost now. "You... but then _why_ -?"

"Because he's a fucking _serial killer_ ," Nathan said, completely exasperated. "Do you even know what Goldman's job title meant? _Specialist_? That was code for government-sanctioned torture specialist. I saw her records. His too! Enemies of the state, their families, their _kids_ , they killed them! Guilty, innocent, the Court's job was to find out, and then get rid of the evidence. So yeah, guess what? I don't fucking like any of them!"

Jack pictured the night Gabriel came back from his operation the first time. When Parsons had died and Abbey had said she'd stepped in a bear trap. When their room had been destroyed and Gabriel had been so despondent.

 _The Court did a lot of classified operations, and a lot of them involved making sure very specific people died in very specific ways_. It felt like Gabriel had told him that years ago. _I'm not a monster_.

Gabriel, his lover, the man who had already saved Jack's life so many times he was starting to lose count, had killed children. He'd known, somewhere, that there was a possibility. He hadn't asked Gabriel for a kill list, or an exact number. He had never asked what Abbey's job title meant. He hadn't wanted to know. He still didn't want to know.

"If you volunteered for this?" Nathan waved the phone in front of Jack's face. "How are you different from some crime boss' wife ignoring the people he's-"

"Shut up," Jack said quietly, trembling and finding his ability to speak. "I know about the Court."

"Yeah, and you put your fucking blinders on. Reyes is going to kill me, Jack. He told me if Abbey dies, so will I. Just because he'll be over here doing fuck knows what with you doesn't mean I'm off the hook. This is my insurance," Nathan said, finally stepping back. "It's going to save my fucking life."

"That's why you were looting," Jack said, massaging his forehead. "You were going hunting for dirt and you found it."

"Yeah. So thanks for making it easy," Nathan said, crossing his arms. "I'm not looking to screw you here, Jack. Like I said, you saved my life. You can say it was rape. My mom heads a fucking committee for sexual assault victims. You'd still have a career. You can do talks or whatever, no more combat, you don't have to worry about any of that."

Jack's stomach turned. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to throw up. "And if I say no?"

"Well, then you're the slut who ruined Gabriel Reyes' promising career, and you get a lot of enemies and no one to protect you," Nathan said, watching as Jack sank to the ground. "It's coming out, Jack. One way or the other. I'm giving you options. I can protect you."

"Options." Jack laughed, feeling hollow as he put his face in his hands. "Yeah, these are some great options. Thanks so much for that."

 _I'd rather die than betray Gabriel_. There was some relief in that. Knowing already that he wouldn't follow along with Nathan's plan. Not that it was especially comforting, because Gabriel would still be discharged. They'd still be separated. Their careers would be over. Everyone would just see Jack as a slut who had been looking for... what? Favor? Easy missions? More time on the news?

 _Protect him for me, okay?_ Abbey hadn't really said that. She'd been a hallucination from a fever dream, nothing more.

Jack took a deep breath and stood up, letting his pulse rifle fall off his shoulder. Neither option was going to work for him. It wasn't going to work for Gabriel. It was time to take a page out of the Court's playbook.

"Fine. Whatever you want me to say, I'll say it. Just... keep your promise," Jack said, making a smile spread across Nathan's face.

"I will. I'll have your back," Nathan said, laughing and shaking his head, his body relaxing. "We'll make a good team, you and me."

"Yeah," Jack nodded, looking up at the sky for a moment. "I'm sure we will." He closed his eyes, trying to remember what it had been like when he first joined. When everything had been so clear and easy. _I just wanted a chance to see something more than Indiana._ "Has anyone else seen this video?"

Nathan laughed. "Are you kidding? Why would I show anyone else? That defeats the whole purpose-"

He couldn't just shoot Nathan. It would be too obvious. Throwing him off the top of the UN building would hide the bruises, though.

Jack kicked the rifle up from the ground into his hands and braced it between both hands, slamming the length of his gun across Nathan's face too fast for the other man to react. "Never were good at tactics, were you?"

Nathan stumbled, his nose exploding with blood when Jack broke it. He growled, looking up. "You piece of-"

Jack kicked Nathan's rifle out of the way when the other man tried to raise it, letting it skid out across the roof. It felt effortless, but Jack chalked it up to Nathan's own sloppiness rather than anything else. He was lazy. Poorly trained. A failure.

 _I should have let Abbey kill him_. Jack slammed his rifle into Nathan's chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending him straight backwards onto the hard concrete roof. _No cameras. No witnesses. It would be easy_.

"Fuck you! I gave you a-!" Nathan tried to yell, to call for help maybe, but Jack hit him at full swing, and he felt the bones of Nathan's jaw crack when he hit him. Teeth and blood sprayed onto the ground. Jack hit him again.

Nathan finally managed to get his hands up, blocking Jack's next hit before he managed to land a blow of his own, knocking Jack off of him. Jack felt his lip split and he spat blood, raising his arm and blocking Nathan's next attempt at landing a hit. He glared at Nathan, whose mouth hanging was slack, probably broken.

Jack ducked down and drove his elbow into Nathan's ribs, feeling another crack  from the impact. Next to sparring with Maggie, this felt effortless. He grabbed the back of Nathan's head and slammed it down into the concrete, which made the other man's body spasm, and though he was still moving, the motion was small. Nathan moaned low in his throat, trying to move, hands uselessly clawing at the ground as Jack kneeled beside him.

It was pathetic, really. Jack sat back and hugged his knees to his chest, blood dripping from his lip as he stared at Nathan as he attempted to crawl towards his rifle on the other side of the roof. He barely moved, his limbs flailing as he dragged himself along, leaving a small trail of the blood from his face.

Nathan was leaving evidence. Clear evidence. Jack needed to make it look like he had jumped, and he couldn't make himself move. _I should have let Abbey kill him_. Just so he wouldn't have to. He had never killed anyone before. Destroying the Omnics was... this was murder. He was going to get caught for it.

Jack stood slowly, going to Nathan and digging through his jacket even as the limp man tried to push him off. It was easy to take the phone. He popped off the back and snapped the SIM card in half before he went to the edge of the roof and dropped it off. No evidence. But now Nathan's word would be enough. Jack would go to prison, Gabriel would be investigated...

"I never wanted this to happen," he said quietly, turning around to face Nathan's barely conscious form. He could pick him up. Drop him. He could always say that he tried to stop Nathan. That they fought. Someone might believe that. Or he could say... what? That Nathan attacked him? That he fell off the building during the fight?

"It didn't have to be this way, you fucking idiot." Jack mumbled, rubbing his face and shuddering. "Why couldn't you just leave it alone?"

 _This isn't me._ He had never taken a life. It went against his every instinct, and even as he approached Nathan knowing, fucking _knowing_ he had already stepped past the point of no return, he didn't want to do it. Even though he hated the man, Jack had never wanted Nathan dead. Tears were welling up in his eyes, and no amount of logic, of knowing he had no choice or he'd lose everything, made him feel like he was ready to do this.

_I'm not a monster._

He walked towards Nathan's form, tension coiling in his stomach - before he stopped, hearing something echoing around him. It sounded mechanical, though he couldn't quite place what it was. It almost sounded like one of his father's old machines for plowing their fields. Then his radio crackled suddenly to life, and he reached for it, hoping that Nathan wouldn't make any noise.

His hand never did reach the radio.

When the Titan hit the roof and Jack felt the entire building shudder and crack open beneath him, for a split second he thought that was it. His cosmic punishment in the form of a comet striking him dead on the top of the UN building. He managed to throw himself aside, catching hold of the crumbling roof as everything around him started to cave in. He'd seen one on the news before, but never like this.

It hadn't landed square in the center of the rooftop, more to the side, tearing straight through what looked like five or six floors from where Jack was hanging. It hung on, reminding him of King Kong on the Empire State Building, swinging itself onto the roof beside Jack. It didn't seem to notice him, turning and raising its arm, slamming it down into the roof and tearing away more pieces of the flimsy building that kept Jack from plunging to his death.

 _They're here_. He clambered up, trying to find his footing as he looked up at the city itself. Already he could see fire and smoke shooting up, but it was close to the UN building. The Omnics were coming for them. _How did they come from above_? The roof nearly shattered around him when the Titan hit the other side of the building, knocking Jack back down through a hole as it all started to come across.

"Hey!" He heard a voice from below him, distant. "Drop down! Move fast, I'll catch you! Hurry! That roof won't hold!"

There was no other choice.

Jack let go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED THERE'S ONE MORE CHAPTER  
> Turns out I left way too much until the end so there's enough room for one more.  
> Bright side? You get one more chapter after this one! Bummer side, you get one more chapter of dealing with my erratic schedule.  
> Thank you so much for bearing with me through the last couple of months. I've had a rough time struggling with depression/stress from work, and you guys have been very patient and supportive. I can't thank you enough for everything.  
> I especially want to thank Aisu for telling me it was okay to break this chapter in two and stop being a tiny stress ball. I could not do this without them.

Gabriel's usual fantasy of strangling Nathan to death wasn't working as well as it usually did to keep him distracted. It was his go-to fantasy almost since he'd lost Abbey - feeling his fingers wrapping around the little bastard's neck and squeezing until his eyes bugged out and he choked on his own bile. It felt fitting.

Knowing Nathan was alone with Jack was making him want to kill Nathan more, but the fantasy wasn't taking hold as well as it usually did.

He tried thinking about Jack instead, to distract himself. Naked Jack had always been a good distraction, though now it was hard to keep himself from thinking about Jack in a hospital bed clawing the sheets and crying in pain instead of pleasure. He'd been suffering, and all Gabriel had been able to do was sit there and watch like some fucking child.

"Distracted, much?" Maggie said from the railing beside him, peering down at the groups of politicians below. She hadn't seemed as cold lately, but it wasn't as though Gabriel and Jack being together miraculously made them friends.

She had saved Jack's life though, which landed her squarely in the 'competent' category. Jack _also_ thought she was the one who had seen them though, which made her dangerous. Yet another complication in his life.

"We have a room full of world leaders and less security than a local mall," Gabriel said, crossing his arms, watching as the group milled around below them. "So yes, I am distracted."

"That's a bit dramatic, but yeah, sure, if that's what you want to pretend you're thinking about that's cool," Maggie mumbled before glancing at him. "Jack can take care of himself."

"So could Abbey, and she still died," Gabriel said, bracing himself against the railing. He caught sight of the annoying Swede below, still feeling a strong urge to pull his beard hair out after their earlier spat. He was talking with the Chinese woman. What had her name been? Liao?

"I'm sorry," Maggie said quietly, walking up beside him. "It shouldn't have happened that way."

"You saved Jack's life. You did all you could. And I'm grateful for that," Gabriel said, his grip tightening on the railing, supporting himself as he tried not to think about Abbey, afraid he might call up the ghost of her that kept haunting him. "But you can't save everybody. No one can."

Maggie sighed, looking down. "I kind of thought you were just a monster. But I get it. What so many people see in you. And I think you're... good for him. For Jack. Or I don't know, maybe he's good for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"God, between the two of you I swear it's like talking to a wall." Maggie scowled.  "I'm not going to tell anyone. Jack is my friend. I was just going to say the two of you should be more careful. It's _really_ obvious that you care about each other a lot. Someone might-"

Then the whole building shook. Gabriel and Maggie stayed on their feet, but Gabriel saw plenty of politicians and their guards who didn't manage as well.

"What the hell was-?" Maggie started to say, but there was another large crash. It didn't sound like a bomb, but something had definitely hit the building.

Gabriel steadied himself, looking straight up as the roof above them started to crack.  He could hear the wall behind him groaning, and feel the balcony beginning to tilt down. He grabbed his comm, going over the railing as quickly as he could. "Everyone get to cover! Now!"

He hit the ground hard and started running, Maggie not far behind him as the wall behind them crumbled, debris scattering on the ground. For a moment all Gabriel could see were people running in the other direction, trying to get away from the collapse, screaming. Then the Germans came running. Or at least Gabriel thought they were running, at first. But through the crowd they _charged_ , and once they were clear of the people, they almost seemed to fly. When they passed by Gabriel and Maggie at a nigh impossible speed, he realized why.

When they blasted past Gabriel he heard Maggie say, "Wait, do they have rockets strapped-!?"

In perfect sync the Crusaders lifted their shields, stopping the collapsing wall from sliding into the fleeing crowd. They shifted back from the effort, heels dug in, and it was clear that even in their massive armor the crushing weight of the building was more than they could handle.

"Get the civilians to safety!" Gabriel started to order, but then he could hear buzzing on his comm as the chatter came through.

" _Reports of Omnics in the city!_ " " _This is a full scale attack_!" " _Calling for evacuation!_ "

 _How?_ Gabriel thought as he turned towards the doors, reaching for his guns. _How do they keep coming out of nowhere_?

"Watch out!" Gabriel looked up when he heard the voice, already knowing what was happening. The ceiling came crashing down from above them, and he knew he wouldn't have time to get out of the way.

Just enough time to think "shit" before he would be crushed like a bug - except then another barrier generated above him, cement chunks and rebar bouncing off of it and scattering as Maggie and Gabriel were left entirely untouched. The Crusader who had rocketed up behind them was one Gabriel vaguely recognized from earlier. The one who looked to be about eight feet tall, with flowing blond hair that probably should have landed him on the cover of a romance novel.

"Don't worry, my friends!" the German said, holding the shield steady as another chunk fell from above. He barely even flinched. "Stay steady!"

Gabriel nodded, going to his communicator again. "Evacuate the civilians and rally outside the building! It won't hold!"

"Captain Reyes!" came the thick Swedish accent as Torbjorn rushed up beside him, a gun of his own in his hand, though not a model Gabriel recognized.

"Get moving to safety with the other civilians!" Gabriel snapped, pointing at Maggie. "Organize a defense point outside. We have to protect the world leaders. You," he looked at the massive Crusader, still holding his shield steady, "get the other Crusaders outside and fast! Your shields might be the only things that keep these people alive!"

" _Captain_ ," Torbjorn said more insistently, "I have a backup plan. Back in my office where we first met. The Chinese didn't trust the Omnics not to attack us here, so Liao brought a little present with her."

The building shook again, the foundation rocking.

"Zhang, _now_!" Gabriel snapped at her, finally prompting her to move, but then he returned his attention to Torbjorn. "What did she bring?"

Torbjorn grinned at him, almost seeming unbothered by the chaos as the other Crusaders retreated back to their position. "An EMP. One big enough to shut down this entire city."

Gabriel tried not to think about the "how" or the potential repercussions of that. In that moment, only one thing mattered. "Will it be enough to take them all out?"

"Decide now, my friends!" the German said, finally grunting with effort as he looked around. "More are coming, and quickly!"

" _Captain Reyes, they're attacking the city!_ " Colonel Erikson snapped in his ear through the comms. " _There's a titan on the roof, and a squad of bastions entering the building from the east_! _We have a visual on at least two more titans heading to our location_!"

"Torbjorn, will it _work_?" Gabriel said, glancing over his shoulder at the east door. _Not much time_. Jack was on the roof.

"It will work," Torbjorn said with absolute confidence. "It'll take out every piece of electronic equipment in Vienna."

"Not good news for the hospital," the large German mumbled, but his voice carried.

Gabriel didn't have time to think about that. Didn't have time to review the options. The city would fall, and if the Omnics took the UN building that was nearly every single leader the free world had to offer. He had to take the risk, no matter what the EMP might do to everyone else.

Jack was on the roof.

"You, Crusader-"

"Wilhelm," the German said.

"Crusader Wilhelm," Gabriel nodded, taking everything in, "you're with myself and Lindholm. We need to get to that EMP. Have the other Crusaders go to protect the leaders. We don't have time to waste."

Once again, Jack was far away and Gabriel couldn't protect him. Couldn't watch his back. Couldn't keep him from doing something stupid. _He'll be fine. Once this is over, you'll never let him go again,_ he swore to himself, already on the move towards the remaining stairway.

 _Don't fuck this up_.

~~

It had been a woman's voice that had called out to Jack, and when he'd jumped he'd half expecting an Amazon like Abbey to be the one who caught him. Which was not to say the woman who caught him was a dainty fairy, because looking at her Jack was fairly certain that she could crush his head between her biceps, but she was also possibly the most beautiful woman Jack had ever seen in his entire life.

"You're a bit heavier than I expected," she said, grabbing Jack by his waist and getting a look at him. "You hurt?"

"No it's..." Jack nearly fell when the Titan moved again, swinging around its giant arm and sweeping off another section of the roof. "Not mine. We have to stop that thing." He couldn't think about Nathan. Jack didn't know where he was. Was he alive? Had the Titan landed on him? Was he still up there, confused? Concussed?

 _I killed him_.

"We won't be able to do much more than distract it," the woman said, turning her head and looking up. She had sharp features, almost reminding Jack of hawks and eagles he'd seen back on the farm. She also had a very impressive tattoo on her face. "Not how I thought I'd go out."

"Right... squished by a giant robot," Jack said, his stomach churning. What he'd done to Nathan would happen to him. Swift karmic retribution. "We just have to buy them time downstairs to move everyone." His comms weren't working. He pulled the bud out of his ear and tossed it aside. "Know if we have any backup coming?"

"My squad was on that side of the building," the woman said, nodding to where the Titan's foot had landed. "No comms from them. The rest are focusing on the leaders. So, as you said, we need to buy them more time." The woman reached behind her back, taking a sniper rifle and readying it. "My name is Ana."

"Jack." He smiled, feeling more at ease, though just for a moment. At least he wouldn't be alone. _More than I deserve_.

The Titan's fist came down suddenly, tearing through what remained of the roof and throwing it aside, leaving Jack and his new friend woefully exposed.

"Think fast!" Ana said, diving out of the way, but Jack was faster, catching her around the waist and running.

Adrenaline pumping, Jack made for what was left of the staircase, watching asthe Titan sank through the roof and smashed through the floor behind them. He could hear it raising its fist, and he thought it was more dumb luck than any clever planning that let him catch the wall and hold tight to his new friend when a large part of the remaining carpet under their feet was swept away.

Ana said something under her breath that Jack didn't understand, but was betting was cursing, as she swung her sniper rifle around and aimed at it. Jack had a second to realize she didn't have a scope. Lost in the fight?

"Can you make the shot-?" he asked, before the wind blew a fair chunk of her long black hair into his mouth, nearly choking him.

"Quiet, I never miss!" she said, raising the gun and taking a deep breath. "Don't breathe, Jack."

Her hair in his face made it difficult, but he held onto her tightly, barely flinching when she fired almost directly beside his ear.

At first the shot seemed to have almost no effect - or so Jack thought until it went to swing its arm again, only for the monstrous metal to awkwardly clang, as though a joint had been knocked loose somewhere. Before Jack could ask her what the hell her gun was loaded with, the Titan turned slowly, spotting where they were.

"Shit," Jack said, starting to move, but Ana braced her foot against the wall.

"Hold steady!" she said, still staring down the barrel of her rifle. "Don't breathe!"

The titan swung up its arm, but it still seemed loose, like something wasn't quite right with it. Still, it aimed straight for Jack and Ana. It took every single ounce of Jack's self control not to run as fast as he could, and for a second, just a second, he thought about telling Ana that whatever she was planning was going to have to wait.

Except then, just over the ringing in his ears, she let out her long breath and fired again.

After that, Jack moved. He could see the titan's arm becoming unlatched from its body, and when the arm swung into the wall where they'd been only a moment before, it came off completely, going straight through the wall and off the side of the building, leaving the titan unbalanced. Unfortunately the flying arm also took out a huge chunk of the floor where Jack and Ana had been standing.

As the floor slid out from under them, Jack went with it, scrambling around the fingers of the titan's still working hand, Ana slung over his shoulder. He lost ground quickly, barely managing to stay upright as they went through concrete and debris again, hitting the next floor down. Still, he stayed up, even as the next level collapsed when the titan hit it, dragging Jack and Ana down with it.

Ana yelled something at him in a language he couldn't place, or maybe she was saying something into her comm, but he couldn't spend time listening or doing much more than trying to avoid being crushed. His legs ached as they went through floor after floor, dancing around the titan as it scrambled to stay attached to the building that was coming down around them.

 _I don't want to die_. He'd been ready, with Nathan on the roof, for the titan to kill him. Just like after Abbey died. Just like when he'd faced down the bastions for the first time. He'd accepted in every single one of those moments that he wasn't going to make it.

But his new ally had shot off the titan's arm. Maggie had saved him when Abbey died. Gabriel had been there with the bastions. He hadn't died.

 _Survive. Get back to Gabriel,_ Jack told himself, sliding out of the way when a chunk of the roof came down around them. He was exhausted, he was almost certain he and Ana were going to be crushed or fall to their deaths, but he was alive. _No giving up yet_.

"Jack!" Ana said suddenly, raising her gun again. "Comms are online, keep going down!"

Jack didn't do much more than nod, and couldn't since he was so focused on making it one more step. Except then, when he stepped down, there was no more ceiling, just a drop into the main hall five floors below him.

"Shit!" He gasped, only just stopping himself from going straight through and taking Ana with himto their deaths. For a second, just a second, he could feel himself letting go of Abbey's hand again. Falling. Falling. He scrambled to stay upright, while the Titan went straight through, tearing a huge hole in its wake that nearly took Jack and Ana with it. "Christ!"

"You have terrible language," Ana said, getting down from his shoulder, wobbling a little when the building shook as the Titan hit the ground below them.

Jack kept gasping, putting his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath. He couldn't remember running so much in his life. How many stories had he jumped down with Ana on his back?

"Can we... talk about that... later, mom?" He wheezed out.

"Thanks to you, we might even get to, later," Ana said, lifting her gun again and aiming down as the Titan began to move again, getting to its feet and putting its good arm through a wall. It looked like it had been damaged more in the fall, though not as much as Jack would have hoped. "More bastions down there... some other omnics too."

"We... need backup," Jack managed to say, stepping back from their less-than-steady surroundings. _Gabriel, where are you_?

The titan seemed to turn, its attention diverted to something nearby, away from Jack and Ana.

Ana turned back to Jack, her hand raised to her ear. "We're the backup, it seems. We have to get to the third floor before the titan and the bastions do."

"Why?" Jack asked, peering over the ledge below them again as the titan rose to its full height.

"Apparently there are three soldiers who can get their hands on an EMP. We have to make sure they get there," Ana said, glancing down, then back at Jack. "Do you think you can make that jump?"

"If I hadn't just made it down thirty floors? Absolutely," Jack said, forcing himself to stand up straight as his legs shook. "Like this? Best I can do is 'probably', if I'm being honest."

Ana smiled at him a little, chuckling under her breath. "Well, I've never been one to gamble. But there's a first time for everything."

~~

"Barrier won't hold forever!" was the last thing Gabriel heard before the titan fell through the ceiling. He'd been so distracted by the bastions moving in on their position that he hadn't even been listening for what was coming down on them.

 _Jack is on the roof_. He wouldn't be anymore, though. Jack would be dead. _He's survived worse_. No time to think about it. No time to worry.

"...not sure how we're going to fight that," Torbjorn mumbled, scrambling up the stairs to the third floor. "Come on, we don't have much time left!"

Gabriel backed up, staying behind Reinhardt's barrier, trying to keep his footing as he did so. The titan swung around, its arm smashing through one of the higher floors, and while Gabriel couldn't clearly see what had happened, the ominous rumbles were enough to let him know it hadn't been good for the building's stability. But when it was done the titan wobbled a little, having trouble keeping its balance, and after a moment Gabriel realized why.

 _Where's the other arm_? He looked up, trying to see if there was anything above the titan. Impossible to tell - there was too much dust, and he had the bastions to worry about. "Keep backing up, we've got to move before it realizes where we are!" He put his hand on the German's back, feeling the impact as a spray of the bastion's turret fire slammed against the shield.

And that was when he finally saw something.

"Oh, Jack _no_ -" Gabriel watched in abject horror as he saw Jack - because who else would it be?- drop from the ceiling onto the titan's head. He could see that the other man was carrying someone - a person, it looked like, but too small to be Nathan. "What the fuck is he doing!?"

"Getting his dumb ass killed. Both of you hurry up!" Torbjorn snapped, taking the opportunity to run further up the stairs as they had a temporary reprieve from the bastions, who also seemed to have noticed what Jack was doing.

Gabriel glanced at the German, who kept stepping backwards, his shield down for the moment as the system fought to recharge. "Can you watch Lindholm? Those two aren't going to be able to-" He cut himself off, watching again as the titan swung its remaining arm, trying to brush Jack off of its shoulder.

The bastions started firing at the ceiling, aiming to bring down concrete on the titan’s shoulder.

"Go, my friend!" The German nodded, brushing past him, grabbing Torbjorn around the wait. "Buy us time!" Then he fired up the rocket strapped to his back, launching up the stairs and leaving Gabriel feeling singed.

"...could have grabbed me," Gabriel muttered under his breath, running back down the stairs towards the balcony on the second floor. He looked down at the bastions, following their line of fire. Jack was still up, and still moving, but he was slipping. Whatever he was carrying would be too much for him to keep balancing very long.

He grabbed his rifle, checking the helix missiles before he looked down at the bastions. He wouldn't have much time before they noticed him, and he had always been better short range than long. He could try shooting from the balcony, but if he missed then only one or two bastions would be enough to stop him. He needed to get closer, make sure he could distract them all and give Jack a chance to do... something.

 _Do whatever it is you do, but stay alive, cabron._ Gabriel took a deep breath and jumped off the balcony, landing directly on top of one of the bastions that hadn't changed to its turret mode. He fired directly into its head, making it fall apart under his feet, before he bolted for cover, dodging the bastions, who had almost immediately turned to face him.

"Shit, shit, _shit_ -" Gabriel hissed, ducking under some of the falling concrete from the ceiling - but it did him no good when the stream of turret fire cut it apart like wet paper. He stuck to the ground, covering his head with his hands, his whole body covered in dust and rock.

For a second he thought he heard Jack's voice, but Gabriel couldn't lose focus, or he was dead. He opened his eyes, scanning for his next move, but when he looked, Abbey was laying out on the floor beside him, smiling at him with blood dripping between her lips.

"Hey, Majesty, you trying to throw your life away?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up, I'm not the one who's dead!" Gabriel snapped, grabbing his gun and rolling around her, bolting towards better cover. He barely made it three steps before he felt blinding pain in his leg, which brought him crashing down again in almost an instant. _You panicked, you fucking idiot. Abbey Goldman is dead. You are Gabriel Reyes. You are still_ alive _._

"You are nothing, king of nothing." Abbey smiled, lifting his chin with her thumb, crouching in front of him. "Were you really starting to buy into blondie’s hero bullshit?" She leaned in, whispering in his ear. "That's alright, Gabi. I did too."

Then Gabriel heard it. Mechanical footsteps coming up behind him.

"Will this be the story of how you die?" Abbey asked him, standing up in front of him, blurred by sunlight. Strange. He hadn't remembered seeing sunlight inside.

"Gabe, fucking _move_!"

Gabriel blinked, and it was Jack, he realized, not Abbey standing in front of him. Gun raised and ready, blood spattered over his SEP uniform, and fucking _beautiful_ like this. Gabriel wanted to grab him, kiss him, tell him he was perfect, but then something simple occurred to him.

There was a titan directly behind Jack.

"He's in shock!" A woman's voice - someone Gabriel didn't recognize, but she was directly behind him, her arms locking under his armpits and dragging him back. "Soldier, you'd best get yourself under control or you're going to meet the bottom of a titan's foot."

Gabriel scrambled to stand up, but nearly fell again when he tried to stand. The damn bastion had shot him in an almost identical spot to where the rebar had gone through his leg back in Tucson, back when-

Back when...

"Go, I'll hold them off!" Jack said, getting up over a pile of rubble as the titan swung its arm towards them, sweeping up so much wind that all three of them were blown back, sliding across the floor.

Gabriel felt his back hit the wall, the woman hitting it directly beside him, driving both of them back to the ground as a pillar collapsed, bringing down the second floor above them. Gabriel was paralyzed, he couldn't catch his breath, couldn't move, couldn't-

Then an arm caught his waist and dragged him back, pulling him and the woman just out of harm's way. Jack had them both, one under each arm, his chest heaving and sweat mixed with the blood and dust covering his body. He collapsed to one knee, dropping Gabriel and the woman gracelessly as he fell forward, his whole body shaking. He didn't look injured, so Gabriel could only assume it was exhaustion.

"Jack-" Gabriel managed to say, catching his breath, but Jack shook his head, looking at the woman who was getting to her feet.

"Get... him out... save... him..." Jack wheezed. At some point he'd lost his gun, but he reached for his side-arm, trembling as he attempted to get out.

Gabriel heard the titan taking another step towards them, dust and drywall obscuring it like mist. He could hear the bastions moving towards the stairs, going after Torbjorn because Gabriel hadn't been fast enough to stop them. Not strong enough. Not good enough.

The woman, Ana, slung Gabriel's arm over his shoulder and stood up, starting to drag him away.

Gabriel dug his feet in as best he could, which shot a spike of pain through his entire body. "Jack, don't be stupid, you can't buy us enough-"

"Gabe." Jack smiled a little over his shoulder, raising his gun. "I got this. Ana, _go_."

And just as Ana started to go, just as Gabriel started to scream, and just as the titan appeared above them, fist raised to bring all three of them down, Gabriel felt the strangest thing. It was like a thousand snaps of static shocks down his spine, making his skin crawl and his hair stand on end, and for a moment he could have sworn he saw a flash of purple burst through his vision.

Then there was nothing except the echoing sound of the titan collapsing against what was left of the wall, and the ceasing of distant gunfire.

~~

Jack lay on a cot with his eyes closed, mostly listening to the talking around him. Most voices were excited, or relieved, and there was a lot of laughter. He could barely move, his entire body protesting, and Maggie had joked he must have used up every ounce of adrenaline he had getting from the roof to the main floor.

Some cuts, some scrapes, and a shit ton of bruises, but overall, he was fine. Even the evidence from his fight with Nathan had been wiped away, written off as something that happened when the building collapsed around them.

"Everyone's talking about SEP now, Jack," Ana said, sitting down beside him, her rifle slung over her shoulder. "I must admit, some of the gossip is from me. I honestly was not expecting to survive that, let alone come out the other end unharmed."

Jack opened his eyes, smiling a little and shaking his head as Ana offered him a bottle of water. "Thanks, but I honestly don't think I can lift my hand right now." Even talking made his muscles hurt.

 _Dear mom and dad, if I never have to move again it will be too soon_.

Ana smiled at him, and it was nearly dazzling. "So like a man to be such a baby after a victory."

"Aha! This must be Morrison!" came a grandiose voice as the massive German from earlier made his way over. "And Captain Amari! Good! The two of you have earned quite a reputation, fighting a titan on your own! Incredible! I wish I could have seen it!"

"Thanks?" Jack said, hoping that the man wasn't about to hug him, because he wasn't sure his body would survive the strain.

"We do appreciate it, Crusader," Ana said, not unkindly, as she set the water bottle down beside Jack. "Is there any word on survivors from inside the building yet?"

"Ah, yes, Captain," the Crusader said, nodding his head and seeming to get a hold of himself. "Captain Reyes is recovering well from the damage to his leg, Mr. Lindholm is speaking with him now. From what we can tell, all of the world leaders made it out with the escort of SEP and the Crusaders." As he said that, he beamed with obvious pride. "They are searching the upper levels for other survivors from the UN staff and the rest of your unit, Captain.  So far they have found some survivors, though... I suppose less than we wanted, but more than we'd hoped." He sounded more somber on that note, but he still smiled, putting on a friendly face.

 _Gabe's okay_. Jack closed his eyes again, letting out a long breath of relief as he laid his head back on the cot again. These were strangers, at least. Maybe they'd chalk up his relief to the leaders, if they noticed at all.

"Any word on civilian casualties?" Ana asked.

"No headcount yet. The UN is sending as many relief workers as they can right now, but Vienna is... somewhat hesitant to accept outside help. We do not know if there will be a second attack, though it is doubtful at this point, we think," the Crusader said, rubbing his chin. "It would seem Tobjorn's EMP has done its job and thoroughly scrubbed all technology in the area."

"Right. Nothing left," Jack mumbled, thinking back to the phone and the video of him and Gabriel. If only Nathan had waited. If only he'd done nothing, or agreed to the blackmail. It just had to have happened a minute later, and the evidence would have been gone. _I wouldn't have had to kill him_.

The very notion made him want to throw up.

"In that case, I will join the search," Ana said, standing up and dusting herself off, sharp eyes looking back towards what was left of the UN building. "If there is any chance more members of my squad survived, I will find them."

"Please, allow me to accompany you, Captain," The Crusader said, standing to his full height. Idly, Jack wondered if he was being chivalrous, or if he wanted to impress the beautiful sniper. "Much of the building is very unsteady - it is best to go in teams."

Ana nodded, looking at Jack and smiling again. "I hope to see you again soon, Jack. We make a good team."

"Right back at you," Jack said, hauling himself up as his body screamed in protest. "I'm going to go check on... on Captain Reyes. Make sure Mr. Lindholm isn't torturing him too much."

"I would not be surprised if the two of them kept jibing each other until the world ended." The Crusader nodded sagely, as though he had some secret inside knowledge that Jack wasn't aware of. "Regardless, it was a pleasure to meet you both, if only briefly." He offered his massive hand to Jack, and idly Jack caught himself wondering if everything about the German was proportional. Best not to think about it.

Jack shook the hand, then saluted, getting to his feet. "See you on the other side."

Jack half expected to be met by yelling when he entered Gabriel’s medical tent, but when he came inside Gabriel and Torbjorn actually seemed to be in a deep discussion. So much so that neither one did much more than glance at him before going back to it.

"An EMP won't work for that, Reyes," Torbjorn said, crossing his arms and kicking his feet on the chair that was slightly too large for him. "For me to do a calculated assessment on one of these omnics with Liao, we'll need a live one. Something we can run a full diagnostic on. So if you want my professional opinion, that's going to be it. You want this task force to succeed, we need to capture an omnic, quarantine it, and find out what makes it tick. She'll tell you the same thing." He jumped off the chair, scratching his beard until flecks of drywall fell out.

"Alright, alright, I get it," Gabriel said, absently playing with the bandages on his leg. "Get Liao and start putting together some documents for me. It'll be our first proposition for the UN, so I want to make sure we have all our ducks in a row."

"Yes sir, Strike Commander." Torbjorn smirked, heading out and briefly stopping to pat Jack's hip and he walked by. "Nice job out there, kid." Then he walked out, leaving Jack and Gabriel in the quiet tent.

Jack's mouth felt a bit dry, and he wished that he'd taken Ana up on the water. He wasn't sure how to start. With how terrified he'd been when he'd seen Gabriel attack the bastion? Back on the roof with Nathan? Or-

"You fucking _idiot_!" Gabriel snapped, tossing a clipboard at Jack's head.

Jack managed to dodge, sort of, the edge of the flying object catching his forehead. "Hey, ow-"

"What did I tell you about staying alive, huh?" Gabriel growled, dragging himself out of bed and limping over to Jack. "What did I tell you about hero bullshit? You tried to make me _leave_ you." He grabbed Jack and pulled him into a tight hug, which Jack didn't bother to fight.  "God, I just about kissed Lindholm when I saw him."

"Well, I'd have died whether you liked it or not without Ana, so maybe kiss her too..." Jack said, resting his head on Gabriel's shoulder because he found himself too tired to lift his arms again. "You're lucky _I'm_ too tired to throw anything at you. You stupid asshole, wondering what I'm thinking? You leapt into a sea of bastions. I thought you'd lost your mind."

"Think I might have, for a second there." Gabriel admitted, his grip on Jack loosening a little. "If nothing distracted them, that were going to pick you off that titan like a bug. I couldn't-"

"Oh, so what I'm not allowed to risk myself for you, but you can for me?" Jack smiled a little, raising one of his hands and brushing it against Gabriel's cheek. "Guess neither one of us can throw stones today."

"Go fuck yourself, _cabron_ ," Gabriel said, pulling Jack back to the bed and sitting him down. "All things considered, you look pretty good." He flopped down beside Jack, hissing and rubbing his leg again.

"Yeah. Haven't been this tired since my first day of SEP," Jack admitted, slumping forward and sighing, wondering if he could fall asleep sitting up.

"Hey, Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack said, tiredly.

"What the fuck us up with your knuckles?" Gabriel asked, sitting up and pulling over Jack's hand. "And there's a mark on your face. Looks more like a punch than you falling. Unless you're going to tell me you fell..." He paused a moment. "Which, you did, I recognize that. But I also know a punched face when I see once. Get a bit too frisky with that Ana chick?" he said jokingly, but Jack knew Gabriel well enough now to know the serious look in his eyes.

Jack looked away, reaching up and touching his swollen face and lip. He knuckles were torn up, but then so were his hands from everything he'd grabbed onto while he and Ana had been half falling, half climbing down after the titan. Something other people would write off, or not think too hard about, but these days Gabriel knew everything about his body.

"Gabe, I... something happened. Right before the titan dropped on us. With Nathan." Jack said, his voice shaky. "I didn't mean for... it wasn't..."

"Jack... hey, what happened?" Gabriel asked, sitting up a little straighter and reaching out for him.

"I-" Jack started to say, but then the tent flap opened and a tired Nadia appeared, her arm wrapped in bandages and blood coming from one of her ears.

"Captain Reyes, Colonel Erikson wants you as soon as possible. We've found some SEP survivors in the rubble," Nadia said, glancing from Jack to Gabriel, not seeming to care much about what had happened in the room before she got there. "They found Nathan."

It was right about then that Jack passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know right?
> 
> Questions? Comments? Complaints? Find me at http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/


	17. The First Day

**Chapter Seventeen** : The First Day of Overwatch

Jack could hear the ringing in his ears more than he could hear the description of what was left of Nathan.

"Swelling in his brain."

"His legs and most of his lower body were crushed - he still might not survive the night."

"Both his arms are broken, skull is fractured, and that he's still alive at all is a miracle."

He shouldn't have been listening in. This was private. Something Colonel Erikson should have heard, and maybe Nathan's parents. God, Nathan had parents, somewhere, just like his.

"Three SEP casualties so far, only some injuries. From what Morrison said, the titan fell directly on top of Erikson. I'd say that speaks strongly for SEP's strengths. These fuckers are hard to kill." Jack wasn't even sure who was talking anymore.

"Jack? Hey." Maggie kicked his boot lightly, snapping him back to reality. "Why don't you go lie down again? You look awful."

"I'll take him," Gabriel said, on crutches now, swaying a little as he reached out to take hold of Jack’s shoulder. "Jack, medical evacuation will be here soon. We're not going with the rest of SEP. If you want to say goodbye... now's the time."

Jack blinked, nodding solemnly, before he looked over at Maggie and forced a smile "Guess this is it, huh?” A pause. "Where's Claude? I wanted to say goodbye to him too."

But the look on Maggie's face gave the answer away.

"Oh," Jack said, soft. "I guess... just you and me left, huh?"

Maggie wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, though not as tightly as she could have. "I'm going to miss you, Jack."

He wanted to warn her. Soon he'd been in military prison, if Nathan woke up. Gabriel would be too. Gabriel might be dishonourably discharged, but Jack would go to prison. Attempted murder of a squad mate. The Colonel's nephew. The Admiral's son. No one would sing his praises then. Murderer - that's all he'd be.

"Me too, Maggie," he whispered back, hoping whatever emotions were on his face could be passed off as results from him saying goodbye. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will." Maggie nodded, pulling back and glancing at Gabriel. "And you watch his back, okay? Anything happens to him, I'm holding you responsible."

Gabriel smiled a little. "You sound like his mom."

"Yeah, well, he brings it out in me." Maggie snorted, before giving him a small, almost sad-looking salute. "Goodbye, Jack."

Jack saluted back, managing a raspy, "Goodbye," before she was gone.

Gabriel started guiding him away, his fingers a little tight and his posture a little rigid.

"We need to talk. Right now."

Jack nodded, his whole body feeling numb. Nathan wasn't conscious, but as soon as he was his life was over. Gabriel's life was over. Even as they walked past the other soldiers, both getting claps on the back and cheers from those who called them heroes, Jack felt like he would be sick. He'd tried to murder a man in cold blood, and then he’d been too much of a coward to finish the job himself.

 _I fucked it all up_. All he had to do was finish the job, and he couldn't manage that. _I'm a soldier. I should be able to do this. Why couldn't I just_ do _it_?

Gabriel led Jack into one of the medical tents and sat him down, kneeling in front of him. "Jack? Hey, come on, look at me." He lifted Jack's head by the chin, not letting him look away. "What happened between you and Nathan?"

"It... was him. Not Maggie. The person at the door. He's the one who saw us," Jack said, trying to keep his voice steady, but it sounded like he felt. Shaky. Terrified. "He videoed some of it. He showed it to me. It looked like..." He looked down, pulling his face away from Gabriel's hand. "It... he told me that if I told the brass that I was... that he'd..."

"And then the titan?" Gabriel asked, his hands dropping, though not completely.

"No." Jack shook his head. "I... I asked him if he'd told anyone else. He said he hadn't so I..." He clenched his fists, looking at the broken skin from where his fist had hit Nathan's face. He could still remember the horrible cracking noise the other man's jaw had made when the teeth had flown out. "I destroyed the evidence but... I thought I could throw him from the roof. No one would know I... that I'd..." His head fell forward and he grabbed his hair. "I was going to... I was... I planned... but he's alive and that means I'm..."

_Don't be such a fucking baby. Coward. Idiot. Fuckup._

"You tried to..." Gabriel frowned, rubbing his face and shaking his head. "Christ. You tried to kill him."

"He was going to ruin you. And he wanted me to call you a... to turn on you." Jack laughed, feeling hollow. "Save myself. So I just... I started hitting him. With my gun first because I thought... I thought that no one would be able to tell once I threw him off the roof... if there was a bullet in him they'd... oh God, I'm... what did I do? What did I _do_?"

"Listen. Jack, look at me." Gabriel took his chin, forcing Jack’s head back up. "You didn't have to... not for me." He squeezed Jack's shoulders, though not roughly. It was like he was trying to be gentle, but it didn't help much when Jack could barely catch his breath.

"They'll court martial me. I'll go to prison. I'll... I should have just finished the job... or I should have..." Jack laughed, but it came out more of a sob as his head fell back again. "I should have just jumped off the roof."

"Don't talk shit," Gabriel said, standing up. "I'll handle it."

Jack stared at him, feeling weak still. "What?"

"This is what I do, Jack," Gabriel said, smiling sadly and wiping a smudge of dirt off Jack's face. "Make sure very specific people die in very specific ways. So wait here, like a good soldier, for our new boss to show up. They won't be expecting you to be in top shape, so if you're shaky it'll be fine. Tell them I'm getting my head checked."

Jack stared at him, mortified, as he reached out and grabbed Gabriel's hand. "No, Gabe, you can't do this. If they catch you now-"

"Jack, either way, we're fucked." Gabriel smiled at him a little, taking Jack's hand and pulling it away. "Just trust me. I'll fix it."

"Gabe, you can't... not for me." Jack shook his head. "We'll-" But there was no plan. There was no option. He hadn't tried to reason with Nathan, not really. He hadn't tried to think of another way around it. Killing Nathan had felt like the only solution.

It still did.

"There has to be another way. We can... we can reason with him or... or something..." Jack grabbed at his hair. " _Something_."

"Jack, _look at me_ ," Gabriel said, his hands on Jack's face, keeping him grounded. The only thing keeping him grounded. "There isn't. But you don't need to be sure right now, because all you're going to do is sit here and wait for me to come back. Nothing else. Because I _am_ sure." He let Jack go, stepping away. "Just trust me."

~~

"Fuck," Gabriel muttered as he wandered away from the tent, stroking his beard as he tried to think as quickly as he could. Wrap his mind around a solution. Think of _something_ useful besides 'Jack did it to save you'. The last person who had done anything for _him_ , to save _him,_ was... Abbey.

Too late to save her. Not too late to save Jack. And by that extension, himself. Neither one of them was going down because of Nathan _fucking_ Erikson. He just had to hope that Jack hadn't completely snapped when he'd tried to kill the bastard. What was it he'd thought back when everything had started? Right. _Naive idealists always break the hardest_. A few months ago it would have been difficult to imagine Jack being able to beat a man to death in cold blood.

 _God, I've only known Jack a few months_.

He walked faster, heading towards the medical ward, mind racing through different possibilities. It wasn't as though there was a whole lot _left_ of Nathan anyway. He might still die anyway. He might be in a coma for years. He might be brain dead.

"Oh the possibilities are _endless_ , don't you think?" Abbey said, walking beside him and stretching.

"If you're going to be here, be useful." Gabriel wasn't sure if he said it out loud, or if he was losing track of himself. It had been years since it had happened like this. He was seeing her too often. Not taking enough time to ground himself and process it. His shrink had said this was a clear sign of relapse. "Be a sound board."

"I mean, there's nothing wrong with the classics. Just smother him with a pillow and be done with it. He choked on his own blood. His broken ribs punctured a lung. Who cares? In his condition, who the hell will even notice?" Abbey said, echoing his own thoughts. Well, he supposed, she was his thoughts.

"I have to make sure..." He swallowed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he headed towards the busy triage, doctors and nurses working fast with very limited medical supplies. No technology. Evacuated hospital. People dying with no way for anyone to save them, the machines they needed non-functional after the EMP.

"Can't just drop one of those on every city the Omnics attack. I mean, you can, but there has to be a better way," Abbey said, glancing at him. "But you can't think about that right now."

No, he had to think about Jack, and not talk to himself like a... like a crazy person.

"Want me to rattle off all the ways that PTSD doesn't mean you're-"

"You're not my _shrink_ ," Gabriel hissed under his breath, walking faster, but no one was paying any attention to him. He wasn't the enemy. To the doctors and nurses, he mattered even less, because he wasn't a patient and he wasn't trying to help them.

"No, but I know what you know, which means you _know_ , you know?" Abbey grinned, elbowing him, and it felt so real that Gabriel wanted to throw up. "Not right now, Majesty. You have a job to do."

"No one can know," Gabriel said quietly. "I have to make sure." There couldn't be any evidence that Jack had hurt Nathan. The scraped knuckles were excusable, considering what had happened with the titan. But he had to make sure that Nathan didn't have any signs that a human had been the cause. _Not Jack, not me_.

"Doctors here won't examine him, but you can bet they'll take him and the bodies back to Okoye. Wonder what kind of tests she'll run..." Abbey raised an eyebrow. "You know there's no evidence now. I bet Jack wouldn't say anything. Everyone knows he and Nathan didn't like each other. You could always just see how this plays out."

Gabriel punched her in the head, or tried to, but his fist only hit the side of a sign post - which he knocked out of the ground, leaving the metal crooked and mangled. That drew some attention, nurses and doctors slowing down for a moment to look at him.

"Sorry just... stubbed my toe," Gabriel muttered, having to lean down and pick up one of his crutches. No one seemed to pay him much mind, too busy with whatever they were doing, but he knew better than to believe that he hadn't made himself memorable. If there were suspicions, now they had something to remember. Fucking idiot.

There were no guards at the tent. No one lying in wait inside. Nathan was stable and hundreds more needed help, so why would anyone stick around?

And God, he was in bad enough shape that Gabriel almost - almost - felt for him. His legs had already been amputated, and he had what appeared to be a full body brace leaving him completely prone and helpless. His eyes were swollen shut, and the tube down his throat made the occasional clicking noise almost in time with the heart monitor.

"You're a pathetic piece of shit, you know that?" Gabriel said, leaning his hands on the bed, looking Nathan over. He probably couldn't hear a word Gabriel was saying, but for that moment, Gabriel didn't care. "The shit you have caused me all because you couldn't say no to your fucking mom. Because you couldn't grow a fucking _spine_ and deal with this. Because you didn't like the fact that I can follow fucking orders."

And God, it was so easy to visualize beating the bastard to a pulp. Ripping his face off. Destroying what was left of his body. For a moment going to prison almost felt like it would be worth it. Nathan had gotten Abbey killed. He'd stolen whatever goddamn innocence Jack still had left with his stupid scheming.

He looked at the air tube in Nathan's throat. Easy enough to just slip something inside it. Clog it. Let him choke to death. He just needed an innocuous enough object, and no one would-

"Captain Reyes?" Her voice didn't even frighten him. It felt like silk down his spine, just like it always had. He'd never had much interest in women, but Okoye's voice was always enough to make him wonder if he could change his mind on that front.

 _Not now_. He turned to the entrance to the tent, looking directly at her as she looked back at him. She hadn't exactly caught him in the act, but if anything happened now she would know what he had done. He could kill her, but then foul play would be a fact, not a question.

She stepped inside, letting the tent flap close behind her. She didn't move cautiously, though her eyes told him everything he needed to know. There was only one reason a man like Gabriel Reyes would be in Nathan Erikson's tent, and it wasn't to make amends. Had Gabriel been her, he felt like he would have been more concerned. Maybe even afraid.

She walked around Gabriel, though still on the same side of Nathan's bed, turning her back to Gabriel as she checked Nathan's vitals. "I am under the impression that this will likely be our last meeting. The UN will be moving you to Switzerland, once this is cleared."

Not what Gabriel was expecting.

"Yeah. Jack and I are getting on the plane with uh... Mr. Lindholm and Dr. Liao," Gabriel said, staring at the back of her head. A quick blow and he could break her neck. Maybe she knew what he knew; that it would be a very stupid idea. "Some others, but I don't have any names yet for whoever else is joining us. I was under the impression the selection process is ongoing."

"As I understand, undersecretary general Adawe has made some choices in that regard considering the developments today," Okoye said, turning slowly to face him. "Once again, you have managed to overcome rather outstanding odds and emerge victorious. It is almost enough to make me feel like a proud mother, I suppose."

Gabriel glanced at Nathan, then back at Okoye. "Listen, doc-"

"Why are you risking the future of this earth for something so petty as revenge, Captain?" She didn't sound angry, or harsh, but the tone made what she knew startlingly clear. "He will likely die anyway."

Gabriel weighed his options. Killing her would be stupid. She knew, so letting her go was also stupid. That left one option. "I need to be _sure_ he does."

Trust didn't come naturally to him, but Okoye had said that she trusted him. She said he was risking the future of the Earth, not his own future. So it wasn't about him. It was about what _she_ believed. Practical woman. Time to find out, with impossibly high stakes, whether or not Okoye had the courage of her convictions.

"Why?" Okoye asked, searching his face for the answer - but Gabriel knew she wouldn't find it there.

"If he lives, I go to prison," Gabriel said, keeping it short and sweet. No need to include Jack. He didn't know how she felt about him, outside of 'hero', and it was probably better to let her keep that illusion. He only needed himself on the line. "If it's him or me, I pick me."

Hopefully Okoye would too.

She looked at him, face as unreadable as his was, then back down at Nathan. "My original suggestion was Abigail Goldman, not Jack Morrison, for the UN's special project, did you know that?" She traced her fingers along the tube against Nathan's mouth.

"I would have suspected as much, doc," Gabriel said, standing his ground. Letting her know he wouldn't hurt her. He'd given her all the ammunition she needed.

"Should I know why you'd go to prison?" she asked, glancing at him briefly. "Or would you have to kill me?" Almost funny, but not quite.

"Wouldn't have to. Killing you would be stupid at this point." Stupid, but if she screamed, if things went too far south, it would only take one quick punch to crush her throat. "But for obvious reasons, it'd be better if you didn't ask."

Okoye sighed, nodding slowly. "Likely better, yes. And I am not certain I would want to know anyway." She looked down at Nathan, then back at Gabriel. "I do believe it. You can save this world, Gabriel Reyes. Don't prove me wrong." She gestured for him to leave.

Gabriel took a step towards the door, pausing only for a moment to look at her, staring down at Nathan's limp body.

"I'll save the world, doc. You just make sure you save me."

~~

Nathan died on the plane back to the United States. Jack didn't know how Gabriel found out, but he told him while they were on the plane to Switzerland. The new HQ, as Gabriela called it. Under Secretary General Adawe, he knew he should call her, but it was a damned mouthful. It was also weird to think of Gabriel and Gabrielle. Adawe and Reyes would probably be safer, going forward.

He should be relieved, he knew. Gabriel had said he would deal with Nathan, and he had... or had he? Nathan had left on the plane, alive, and arrived at the SEP base dead. Emergency during the flight, Gabriel said. That had to mean someone helped him, or Gabriel knew a hell of a lot more about poison than Jack did... or maybe Gabriel hadn't done it. Maybe he'd just figured Nathan would die on his own.

No matter how it had happened, he felt guilty.

Gabriel seemed calm and collected, more sure of himself than ever in his new role as he talked with Adawe and argued with Torbjorn. Liao sat quietly beside them, listening and giving an occasional precise and deliberate comment. Gabriel listened, mostly calm and collected, though every now and then he and Torbjorn would devolve into sniping at each other, and they flipped each other off more than once. It could have been their strong personalities, but Jack had a sneaking suspicion that it was more a grudging respect than anything else.

For Gabriel, he knew, this was nothing. If he had killed Nathan, or had a hand in it... it would be just another day for him, wouldn't it? Nothing new.

For Jack it had changed everything. So he quietly did the one thing he hadn't been able to do since he had joined SEP: he wrote a letter to his parents.

_Dear mom and dad,_

_First of all, you might notice that this letter is coming from Switzerland. I know, right? I'll send you some pictures as soon as I get a chance to see the actual city, but I think I'll be stuck in the UN building for a while. And I guess the second thing you might be wondering is 'hey John why are you in Switzerland and aren't you not allowed to write us? And what do you mean the UN?'_ _Well, turns out my service is extended for a bit longer, and I'm on loan to the UN. I'm hoping you'll get a chance to visit when things die down._

He paused, staring at the words 'die down' and briefly wondering about his word choice - but then he kept going. His dad would probably think it was funny.

_I'm guessing that there will still probably be someone reading my mail since our mission is still pretty classified, so I'm sorry if I have to be brief about anything. Say hello to all the members of UN security reading through our mail when you write back._

That made him smile, imagining his mother's face, aghast at the prospect of someone reading their mail.

_I've wanted to write you for a long time. I've thought about it a lot. And I know we didn't get much time to talk when we were in New York, and that you've seen more of me on TV than in real life lately, but I want you to know I'm okay. Gabe has been taking good care of me, like he promised. He's with me in Switzerland, so mom, you can rest easy. He'll make sure I don't do anything stupid (or if I do he'll cover it up)._

Funny. Ha ha.

_I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to call you, or what kind of security clearance you'd need to call me, or if email will ever be a thing any of us see for the future, but at least we'll have this._

Jack stopped again, his hand shaking a moment. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

_A lot has changed since I started my service. But I'm trying to remember all the important things that you taught me, even when it gets hard. I want to visit you, play a round of golf with you both, have some home cooking (God, mom, you don't know how bad military food is. Nothing could have prepared me for it) and check on the farm. At this rate I'll forget what corn looks like. But I remember the important things. Most of all that I love you. I feel like I'm making a real difference here, when there's so much at stake. And some choices have been hard, but..._

He could see Nathan's face still. Feel his bones break. Then he remembered Abbey. He remembered the people Nathan would have left behind. All the people dead in a room because they'd had to wait for Abbey to find Nathan fucking Erikson.

_...but I know I've done the right thing. I believe in what we're fighting for. It's scary, but it's also right. I've met people I'm never going to forget. I've done a lot that I'm proud of._

He looked up at Gabriel, who looked back at him, giving a small smile and rolling his eyes at whatever Torbjorn was saying to him.

_This is what I need to do. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Thank you so much for being strong and patient and kind. When all this is over, I'll come home and tell you all about it._

The positive parts, anyway.

_I love you. I miss you. Write whatever you get a chance,_

_John_

~~

"This is our room? You're serious? We get a real window?" Jack was like a little kid when he looked around their new quarters. He lifted up cushions on their significantly more comfortable couch, walked out on their high balcony, explored the kitchenette, went back and forth between their bedrooms, and checked both bathrooms. "Christ, this is like a hotel, not a barracks. We have _locks_."

Gabriel snorted, glad to at least see Jack in better spirits. He'd been quiet on the plane ride since they'd gotten the confirmation about Nathan. Written a letter to his parents. Participated very briefly in conversations. Eaten a little. This, though, was the version of him he'd looked forward to.

"You know what it is? Fucking cold," Gabriel said, going to the thermostat and trying to remember what the difference was between Celsius and Fahrenheit. "What does fifteen even mean? Christ."

"I need to get you a hat," Jack said, coming up behind him and reaching up, touching the back of Gabriel's head and running his fingers through the curls that were starting to grow out. "Or I guess you could grow it out? Get some padding?"

"I have all the padding I need, flat ass," Gabriel said, turning around and kissing him, pulling Jack into a tight hold.

"I think we've established that you're a fan of my ass by now." Jack smiled, resting his forehead against Gabriel's.

They stayed that way for a while, quiet.

Finally, Jack spoke again. "I did want to say thank you."

"For what?" Gabriel asked, having a good idea, but not wanting to jump to any conclusions. Really, the thanks fell on Okoye. She was the one who had held up her end of the deal, not him. _Not yet. But I will_. Not that Okoye could collect on his debt if he failed.

"Lots of things. But..." Jack sighed, letting go and shrugging. "I don't know. I panicked. I did something stupid. I got-"

"You saved my life when you didn't have to," Gabriel said, taking Jack's hips and holding him in place. "I could have lost everything. And _you_ risked everything to make sure I didn't." And that bound them together in more ways than they already had been. "I'm going to take care of you. Promised your mom and everything."

"Heh, yeah." Jack shook his head, leaning back against the wall beside Gabriel. "Still, I... does it always feel this... fucked up?"

"If I say no, will that make you feel better or worse?" Gabriel asked.

He'd never found out the name of the first person he'd killed. It had been in Croatia. A smash and grab. There had been no option at the time. He had been the rookie, at the back to keep an eye out. His teammates couldn't shoot - they had been too close together. But the man had been even younger than him, probably a teenager. A kid, really.

"Omnics are easier, I guess," Jack said, staring at his feet. "Don't have to think about the people who'll miss them or-"

"Don't think about that stuff, Jack," Gabriel said, nudging him. "If Nathan hadn't been in the military to start with, a lot of good people would be alive today. Juan would... would still have Abbey. Who knows how many other soldiers and civilians wouldn't have died waiting for him? And if he were still here, _I_ wouldn't be. So, I guess I'm not impartial, but you made the right call."

"Right. Yeah, I know. I did what I had to," Jack said, though he still had a look of misery on his face. He stepped away, heading towards the couch - but Gabriel caught his arm.

Jack stopped, letting Gabriel draw him in and wrap his arms around him.

"I want to get you something nice," Gabriel said quietly, enjoying the smell of Jack's hair and the warmth from his body. "Not as a present or something like that... I want to decorate these rooms. Make them ours. Because this isn't the same as SEP or the military, or anything we were before. This is us. I want to make it ours."

Jack leaned his head back, chuckling, but smiling now. A real genuine golden boy smile. "You're such a sap, you know that, right?"

"Don't tell anyone." Gabriel smiled back, leaning in and kissing him again.

"Alright then, you tell me, how come we have to share a room but Tobjorn and Liao get their own?" Jack asked, slipping out from Gabriel's arms and falling back on the couch.

Gabriel smiled a little, straddling Jack, wanting him close. Wanting to melt into him. "Well, it's hardly a team if it's literally you, me and two scientists or engineers or whatever they are. We're bringing on two more, according to Adawe."

Jack blinked, raising his hands and putting them on Gabriel's hips. "Seriously? Who?"

"The big German, who apparently has quite the reputation for kicking ass. Shocking, I know." Gabriel grinned, glad to have Jack distracted from wallowing. That was the key. Keeping him distracted. "That, and your new best friend. The Egyptian. Apparently she's better at taking out Omnics than we are. They call her... I don't know, the Deadeye or something like that. Has to do with the eye tattoo. I don't know, don't speak Arabic."

"Man. That German is... huge," Jack said, shaking his head and grinning. "But I think you'll like her. Ana. She was amazing."

"Should I be jealous?" Gabriel asked, leaning in and kissing Jack's neck.

"Nah," Jack said, leaning into the kiss, closing his eyes. "I don't think anyone could make me feel like you do." He played with the hem of Gabriel's shirt, pulling it up and touching his skin. "I think we can do it. Really do it. Save the world. And I think people like Ana, Torbjorn, Liao, and Reinhardt, they can help us do it." He laughed, opening his eyes, looking over at Gabriel. "Well, help you do it. I'm just along for the ride."

Gabriel pushed Jack back against the couch, laying him out across it and pulling off his shirt. "Listen, I'll give you a ride, but that's not all you're here for." He pushed up Jack's shirt, leaning down and kissing down his chest. "You're here because you're my fucking sunshine." He moved up, loving the sound of Jack's breath catching, his hard chest tensing with every press of Gabriel's lips against him. "And because you earned your spot."

He reached down between Jack's legs, grinning when he found that he was already hard. Even when Jack surprised him, he was still predictable.

"We're a team," Gabriel said, his own breath picking up as he leaned against Jack, thigh rubbing his cock. It gave Gabriel room to move his hands, hold Jack down, squeeze his wrists above his head, make him squirm.  "I've got you... no matter what. I've got you."

And it occurred to him now, in their own place, with their own things, he could do everything he'd wanted to with him.

(end.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ain't I a stinker?
> 
> Well, this has been a wild ride. I love you all. And it's not done yet! I have another one planned to pick up on the loose ends here. Obviously I can't go as quickly as I used to, what with the full time job and the half time depression, but Part Two of "The Lucky Ones" is in the works and it'll get there when it gets there. At some point I'll also go back and make edits to this one, but that's... at some point. When I have more time. And am less lazy.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Things you want to see in part two of this soldier boys nightmare? Get me at: http://youredgedadsareshowing.tumblr.com/
> 
> As always my beta deserves to be cherished and loved because you guys never get to know how terrible my grammar really is.
> 
> See you on the flip side!


End file.
